- Jimmy Nova: Wanna know what a cockroach is called in Algeria?
- Montello Hungry: Why the fuck would someone want to know that?
- Bunny Roberts: Filmmaker? Wow! Why don't we do a nice, slow tracking shot of you bringing me another fucking cappuccino?
- Crispin Maraschino: And don't you blow smoke up my ass anymore! I got enough smoke up my ass to elect a Pope in my fucking pants!
- Sister Batril: One of us is not a stripper. One of us is a lyin' bitch who's fuckin' Montello, and now she's fuckin' all of us!
- Sister Ruth: Who are you callin' a bitch, you fuckin' ho?
- [shouts]
- Sister Ruth: You couldn't table-dance your way out of a paper bag!
- Sister Batril: [gets out her gun] Ooh, you fuckin' mother-fucker!
- Kandi Kane: Hey, Sister Batril, relax!
- Sister Batril: She said I couldn't table -
- Kandi Kane: [cuts her] I know what she said! And I said relax. So put the gun away. I said put the gun away!
- Sister Batril: [does so] I could win a fuckin' Nobel Prize for table-dancing.
- Kandi Kane: Everybody has to keep our heads.
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