Absolutely Fabulous (1992–2012)

Julia Sawalha: Saffron

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Saffron is living "on campus" and Eddy tells her she wants her to move back home] 

  Saffie : Mum, what is the problem? I have my life and you have yours. This is what you wanted.

  Eddie : I feel orphaned, you know.

  Saffie : What is the matter? Has the deal fallen through?

  Eddie : No the deal. Not the deal. Not that. It's just...

  Saffie : What?

  Eddie : Well, darling, you have just sort of abandoned me in this sort of wilderness of potential greatness and fabulousness, haven't you? All my walls have gone "flop", "flop"... I'm just like this kind of prisoner that's released... RELEASED PRISONER, darling, that is walking out into the squinting sun. I mean, you've cast me adrift with no oars.

  Saffie : You have oars.

  Eddie : I haven't.

  Saffie : You have. You're just too lazy and fat to use them.

• Saffie : [commenting on Patsy's new Botox look]  You look like a haggis with pointed toes. A tight old bladder skin holding together some rotting offal.

• Saffie : I'm sorry, mum, but I've never seen what it is that you actually do.

  Eddie : PRrr.

  Saffie : Yes, but...

  Eddie : PR. I PR things. People. Places. Concepts...

  Patsy : ...Lulu.

  Eddie : Lulu... I make the fabulous... I make the crap into credible. I make the dull into...

  Patsy : ...Delicious.

• Eddie : All right, time for another little drinkie before we go?

  Saffie : Where are you going?

  Eddie : New York.

  Saffie : I didn't think they let people with convictions in.

  Eddie : Darling, it's not a conviction.

  Patsy : Just a firm belief.

  Eddie : Yes.

• Saffie : My life just flashed before my eyes.

  Eddie : What was it like? A Bergman film without the jokes?

• Saffie : I didn't know you still had the shop.

  Eddie : Oh, still got it, darling, but it's not doing very well. The supply's dropped off. You know... India's: had it, been there... Africa's dried up completely now... It's ridiculous... Thank God for Grozny. Honestly. Well, darling, if it wasn't for that lovely little Russian army advancing, thrashing out all those gorgeous little heirlooms in my direction, I don't know what I'd do... Oh, you should see, darling, in the shop I've got at the moment this fabulous little samovar with a little old woman still attached to it, sweetie. Clinging on for dear life. Having to lure her off with dry bread crumbs so that I could get a decent price...

• Sarah : Does your mother know you write plays and things?

  Saffie : No, and I don't want her to either, so don't say anything.

  Sarah : Oh, you don't need to worry. I don't speak to her anymore. Not since she gave me that chemical peel.

  Saffie : Well, it wasn't so much chemical. And not so much peel. She set fire to your pig-tails.

  Sarah : It's good job I'm thick-skinned... Well, except for the shoulder.

• Saffie : I am getting married.

  Bo : [delighted]  Hallellujah! Praise the Lord! Let's speak in tongues - boolooloolooloolooloo!