Absolutely Fabulous (1992–2012)

Jennifer Saunders: Edina

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Eddie : Patsy hasn't eaten since 1974.

  Patsy : There was that crisp.

• Eddie : Sweetie, what are you drinking?

  Patsy : Oh, this? Chanel No. 5.

• Eddie : [in front of Saffy]  Ooo, she's so cold, sweetie! I'll just bet she has her period in cubes.

• Eddie : What do you see when you look in the mirror, darling?

  Patsy : Me looking fabulous. What do you see?

  Eddie : Yeah... Just the room.

• [Saffron is living "on campus" and Eddy tells her she wants her to move back home] 

  Saffie : Mum, what is the problem? I have my life and you have yours. This is what you wanted.

  Eddie : I feel orphaned, you know.

  Saffie : What is the matter? Has the deal fallen through?

  Eddie : No the deal. Not the deal. Not that. It's just...

  Saffie : What?

  Eddie : Well, darling, you have just sort of abandoned me in this sort of wilderness of potential greatness and fabulousness, haven't you? All my walls have gone "flop", "flop"... I'm just like this kind of prisoner that's released... RELEASED PRISONER, darling, that is walking out into the squinting sun. I mean, you've cast me adrift with no oars.

  Saffie : You have oars.

  Eddie : I haven't.

  Saffie : You have. You're just too lazy and fat to use them.

• [to daughter Saffron] 

  Eddie : With any luck we'd get Roman Polanski interested in you.

  Patsy : She was never young enough for him.

• Eddie : [shouting]  I DON'T WANT MORE CHOICE, I JUST WANT NICER THINGS .

• Saffie : I'm sorry, mum, but I've never seen what it is that you actually do.

  Eddie : PRrr.

  Saffie : Yes, but...

  Eddie : PR. I PR things. People. Places. Concepts...

  Patsy : ...Lulu.

  Eddie : Lulu... I make the fabulous... I make the crap into credible. I make the dull into...

  Patsy : ...Delicious.

• Eddie : All right, time for another little drinkie before we go?

  Saffie : Where are you going?

  Eddie : New York.

  Saffie : I didn't think they let people with convictions in.

  Eddie : Darling, it's not a conviction.

  Patsy : Just a firm belief.

  Eddie : Yes.

• Eddie : La Croix, sweetie, La Croix.

• Saffie : My life just flashed before my eyes.

  Eddie : What was it like? A Bergman film without the jokes?

• Gran : Talking to yourself dear? That's the first sign of madness, you know.

  Eddie : Really? I thought it was talking to you.

• Patsy : Easy going sex with gorgeous, underage youths...

  Eddie : Yeaaah.

• [Eddy comes into the kitchen to find her mother making a cake] 

  Eddie : What? This is all my stuff you're using?

  Gran : What, dear?

  Eddie : All this. This wheat powder... what's... This.

  Gran : Flour, dear?

  Eddie : Flour. Yes. All this is mine, is it? I mean, I am now paying for old people to eat cake.

• Eddie : Let the music lift you up, sweetie.

• Eddie : The word on the old grave marker, the words on your grave marker. What is that?

  Patsy : Oh, your epitomb.

  Eddie : Your epitomb. What is it that you want on your epitomb?

  Patsy : I want: "She was fantastic."..."Patsy was here."

  Eddie : No, darling, you can just have "Patsy Stone".

  Patsy : Oh, Eddy, Eddy. Wait for this. Wait for this: "Eddy: Still no thinner."

  Eddie : These are really funny. We could sell those.

• Saffie : I didn't know you still had the shop.

  Eddie : Oh, still got it, darling, but it's not doing very well. The supply's dropped off. You know... India's: had it, been there... Africa's dried up completely now... It's ridiculous... Thank God for Grozny. Honestly. Well, darling, if it wasn't for that lovely little Russian army advancing, thrashing out all those gorgeous little heirlooms in my direction, I don't know what I'd do... Oh, you should see, darling, in the shop I've got at the moment this fabulous little samovar with a little old woman still attached to it, sweetie. Clinging on for dear life. Having to lure her off with dry bread crumbs so that I could get a decent price...

• Eddie : Get ready for this, sweetie.

• [repeated line] 

  Eddie : Sweetie!

• [repeated line] 

  Eddie : Are you MAD?

• Eddie : Pats. Pats. You know, like, when you are in a room or something, and you think someone is like staring at you...

  Patsy : In a room?

  Eddie : Or in a plane. Anywhere... anywhere... And you are sort of doing things because you think someone is looking at you like people are looking at you, you know?

  Patsy : On a plane?

  Eddie : Well, anywhere... anywhere... And then you look at them and they are just sort of asleep but their head is flopped in your direction, you know? Well, I don't want THAT to happen. I don't want THAT to be my life, you know. The whole world asleep.