- Bitterman: Mr. Bach?
- Arthur: Bitterman! How the hell are you?
- Bitterman: Sir, what are you doing here?
- Arthur: They said I'd never make it Bitterman, they said the city would eat me alive. But now look at me, I got my own pail and my own squeegee, I showed them ALL!
- Martha Bach: Arthur?
- Arthur: Martha!
- Martha Bach: Arthur, what are you doing?
- Arthur: Well, I was...
- Martha Bach: Are you going to marry Susan Johnson or not?
- Arthur: I already told you Martha, I can't!
- Martha Bach: Enough is enough, Arthur. Marry the bitch!
- Arthur: You marry her Martha!
- Arthur: Where's Mrs. Bach? Is she...
- Fairchild: Madam awoke early. She had some phone calls to make.
- Arthur: Ah. Ah, well in that case, put on one of her nightgowns and come in here, would you?
- Fairchild: Sir?
- Arthur: Oh, come on, Fairchild. I know you want it. I've seen the way you look at me.
- Arthur: [Fairchild heads towards the closet] Hey! Fairchild, I'm kidding! I'm kidding. God, it's the truth. Don't they ever kid each other on your planet?
- [to Arthur]
- Hobson: If projectile vomiting ever becomes an Olympic event, you would do your country proud.