Art Metrano en el papel de...
Lt. Mauser
- Lt. Mauser: [Mauser and Proctor are spying on Lassard greeting the new recruits in his office] So... these academy rats are going to save the precinct?
- Proctor: Hey, personally, lieutenant, I hope they fall flat on their asses.
- Lt. Mauser: That can be arranged, you know?
- Proctor: What do you mean?
- Lt. Mauser: Well, if they fail, I take over as commander of the precinct.
- Lt. Mauser: So?
- Lt. Mauser: So... we make sure they fail.
- Proctor: Who?
- Lt. Mauser: The new recruits.
- Proctor: Why?
- Lt. Mauser: If they fail, Lassard's out, I'm in. And I'm gonna need somebody to be the new watch commander. And you know who that's gonna be.
- Proctor: [confused] Who?
- Lt. Mauser: [annoyed] You, dickhead, you!
- Proctor: Oh... oh... well, good idea.
- Lt. Mauser: You're not playing with a full deck, are you?
- Proctor: Oh, I don't play cards.
Útil•70
- Lt. Mauser: Any day now, Mahoney, and your little ass is mine.
- Carey Mahoney: You wanted to see me, sir?
- Lt. Mauser: Mahoney, didn't your mother teach you how to knock?
- Carey Mahoney: It depends. Sir? I hope this isn't going to be too personal? I heard what you said about my little butt and I don't know how to break this to you, sir, but I'm straight.
Útil•50
- Lt. Mauser: That's it. Thank you for oyur patience.
- Laverne Hooks: What about me, sir? Don't I get a car?
- Lt. Mauser: [imitating Hooks] "Oh, what about me sir? Don't I get a car?" No, you don't get a car. You get a nice little chair and a nice little desk and a nice little office for your nice little voice!
- [he starts to leave the room, chuckling]
- Laverne Hooks: Asshole!
- Lt. Mauser: [as he exits the room and holds up two fingers] That's two!
Útil•40
- Lt. Mauser: Let me see your piece. There's no round in the chamber.
- Laverne Hooks: I was afraid it might go off.
- Lt. Mauser: Oh, heavens to be, it might go off.
- [to Proctor, holding a clipboard]
- Lt. Mauser: That's one for Hooks.
Útil•30
- Proctor: Hightower!
- Hightower: Yo!
- Lt. Mauser: Yo?
- Hightower: Yo, sir!
- Lt. Mauser: Yo, sir... You must be from the south! That's "Yes, sir." You got foot patrol.
Útil•41
- Chief Hurst: Mauser, you're the most incredible ass-kisser I have ever seen.
- Lt. Mauser: Thank you very much, sir. I do my best.
Útil•20
- Chief Hurst: It's official, Captain Lassard. This is now the worst precinct in the entire city! Burglary up 25%, armed robbery up 30%, vandalism up 44%!
- Lt. Mauser: Sir, I think if you'll check, burglary is actually up 48%.
- Chief Hurst: [to Lassard] There? You hear that?
- [to Mauser]
- Chief Hurst: Who are you?
- Lt. Mauser: Mauser, sir. M as in man A-U, S as in Sam.
- Pete Lassard: Oh, shut up and sit down, Mauser. He didn't ask for your biography.
- Lt. Mauser: E-R, sir.
Útil•10
- Lt. Mauser: [in the squad room where Mauser is seen wearing a horrible-looking wig] Well, it seems that yours truly was the object of a malicious prank. Now, can anybody in here tell me...
- [exposes his hands covered in black glue residue]
- Lt. Mauser: How this happened?
- Carey Mahoney: I can, sir, and if you don't stop that, you could go blind.
- [the other officers start chuckling as Mauser and Proctor react in fury]
- Lt. Mauser: You think you're funny, don't you, Mahoney? Well, you're on report.
- [to Proctor]
- Lt. Mauser: Put him on report.
- [Proctor immediately gets out his notepad as an angry Captain Lassard enters the room covered in spray-paint graffiti]
- Lt. Mauser: We are not going to leave this room until we find out what happened!
- [Lassard angrily slams his coat on the table as he looks at Lassard]
- Lt. Mauser: What happened?
- Pete Lassard: [annoyed] What's going on here?
- Lt. Mauser: Oh, nothing, sir. I was just reprimanding your men.
- Pete Lassard: Oh, the hell with your goddamn reprimands.
- Lt. Mauser: No, sir, you don't understand.
- Pete Lassard: Shut up, Lieutenant, I have something to say!
- Lt. Mauser: [shows Lassard his hands] Sir, would you take a look at my hands?
- Pete Lassard: I think it's a matter of personal hygiene. I am talking about public safety!
- Lt. Mauser: [under his breath] Yes, sir.
- Pete Lassard: [to the officers] Now, listen up, everybody. This is serious. We've got to do something. This is war! Now, we didn't start it, but we are going to finish it. I don't care if we have to work time in a half, I don't care if we have to work double-time, but mark my words, we are going to nail these punks, starting now!
- [everybody jumps from their chairs waving their batons in glory]
- Sistrunk: Let's kick ass!
- [fires gun in the air, alarming everybody in the room]
Útil•10
- Lt. Mauser: [now the commanding officer of the precinct and is grilling the rookies in the squad room] From this moment on, I am the commanding de facto of this precinct. My name is Lieutenant Mauser. Mauser. On Thursday last, yours truly was the object of a disgusting, personal attack and I would like to hear some names. Just some names.
- [everybody sits silently]
- Lt. Mauser: Okay. Have it your way...
- [walks over to Sistrunk]
- Lt. Mauser: ... but I will suspend EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!
- Carey Mahoney: [stands up] Sir... I did it.
- [Sistrunk points to Mahoney for Mauser and he walks over to him]
- Lt. Mauser: Mahoney, what--what kind of clown do you think I am?
- Carey Mahoney: A juggling clown?
- [everybody starts stifling their laughter as Mauser's left eye begins to twitch in anger]
- Lt. Mauser: You're suspended... INDEFINITELY! SIT DOWN!
- Pete Lassard: [stands up, much to Mahoney's shock] You can't do that!
- Lt. Mauser: What?
- Pete Lassard: You suspend him, you suspend me!
- Lt. Mauser: My pleasure! Sit down, smelly!
Útil•00
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