- Matthew: One time a company I worked for transferred me to an island in the Pacific. Fantastic place. I invited my girl to visit me. I sent her a postcard everyday with a single word on each card. I wrote "Found a virgin paradise. It's yours. Matthew." Narturally, they were delivered in the wrong order. The message she got was "Found a virgin. It's paradise. Yours, Matthew." I never heard from her again.
- Matthew Hollis: Jennifer, about last night...
- Jennifer Lyons: Kiss me first.
- Matthew Hollis: Kiss you? I ought to spank you!
- Jennifer Lyons: Oh, please, and bite me too.
- Victor Lyons: I love you no matter what rotten things your mother says about me.
- Jennifer Lyons: She doesn't say anything bad about you.
- Victor Lyons: Yeah, but you can't always believe her.
- Eduardo Marques: Hello. Hello.
- Victor Lyons: Hi!
- Eduardo Marques: [his English is not so good.] How nice. You are buying groceries together. You are, how you say, the Queer Couple?
- Matthew Hollis: [referring to the name of the TV series] The Odd Couple. Odd.
- Isabella: You are my twelfth lover in twelve days.
- Victor Lyons: Really?
- Isabella: I don't hurt your feelings?
- Victor Lyons: No, I've always been a team player.
- Victor Lyons: You slept with someone? Why didn't you tell me?
- Jennifer Lyons: I just did.
- Victor Lyons: Now you tell me? What good does it do me now?
- Jennifer Lyons: What good is it SUPPOSED to do you?
- Jennifer Lyons: Come on, the beat's wonderful.
- Matthew Hollis: No, it's just that I can't do any kind of dancing where you have to use your body.
- Jennifer Lyons: [about Bernardo] He's nineteen, is that what you had in mind?
- Matthew Hollis: Nineteen is perfect. I've been nineteen a couple of times myself.
- Matthew Hollis: Wake up Jennifer. You fell asleep. You've been dreaming. You had a very bad dream.
- Jennifer Lyons: That we were making love?
- Matthew Hollis: Probably. Yes! Probably. That was it.
- Jennifer Lyons: How would you know?
- Matthew Hollis: I must have had the same dream, too.
- Jennifer Lyons: Don't feel guilty.
- Matthew Hollis: I don't know what to feel.
- Jennifer Lyons: I'm ready for another dream if you are.
- Victor Lyons: Ah-ha. You got milk all over your whiskers, pussycat. Who was the lucky girl? Where'd you meet her?
- Matthew Hollis: I didn't meet anybody.
- Victor Lyons: Okay, okay, we'll talk at breakfast. I want to know all the details about it. We can start at the bottom if you like.
- Matthew Hollis: It was the night of the wedding.
- Victor Lyons: Romance was in the air.
- Matthew Hollis: Birds. Music. Dancing. Drums. Everything was.
- Victor Lyons: Blame it on Rio, eh?
- Eduardo Marques: It's only when a man is not thinking of what he is doing, that you can be sure he's doing what he's thinking.
- Victor Lyons: They smiled. Maybe we should talk to them.
- Matthew Hollis: We can't. They're practically naked.
- Victor Lyons: Try to picture them with clothes on.
- Matthew Hollis: [Jennifer had given him a small Tiki love-god idol on a necklace.] It was just what I needed: a one-inch god with a two-inch penis.
- Jennifer Lyons: You should wear your hair like this.
- Matthew Hollis: What time is it?
- Jennifer Lyons: About one. I like it like this. Makes you look older.
- Matthew Hollis: [looks at his watch] It's almost three.
- Jennifer Lyons: Pretend it's one...
- Jennifer Lyons: Make love to me.
- Matthew Hollis: I'm twenty years older than you.
- Jennifer Lyons: Twenty-eight.
- Matthew Hollis: Twenty-five.
- [Jennifer takes out her retainer. Mathew and Jennifer kiss]
- Jennifer Lyons: Do you hate me?
- Nicole Hollis: No, him. Does he tell you he loves you?
- Jennifer Lyons: No.
- Nicole Hollis: You'll get used to it.
- Jennifer Lyons: Poor Daddy!
- Matthew Hollis: Oh, yours or Nicole's?
- Jennifer Lyons: Mine.
- Matthew Hollis: Oh, that poor daddy. You can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting a poor daddy.
- Nicole Hollis: She's in love, you know?
- Matthew Hollis: She thinks so.
- Nicole Hollis: If you think so, you are.
- Victor Lyons: What the hell are you doing, asking for her hand? "With this teething ring I thee wed"?
- Matthew Hollis: It was, quite simply, the worst night of my life, my embarrassment compounded by the fact that Victor had now slept with two out of the three members of my family.
- Matthew Hollis: Maybe we ought to talk about boys.
- Nicole Hollis: Boys?
- Matthew Hollis: Ground rules.
- Jennifer Lyons: That's if we get any boys on the ground.
- Karen Hollis: Haven't you said that there were times you'd rather be without me?
- Matthew Hollis: Ah, that's only when I'm with you. Most of the time, we're too together. Sometimes, we're so us, I forget what its like just to be me! But, when we're apart, I miss you terribly.
- Matthew Hollis: It's too cold!
- Jennifer Lyons: No it's not. It's not too cold and you're not too old.
- Matthew Hollis: I didn't come to Rio to cheat.
- Victor Lyons: Don't ever use that word. Is tasting life, creating a little magic, is that cheating?
- Matthew Hollis: This is crazy.
- Jennifer Lyons: Crazy wonderful! Crazy's the best!
- Matthew Hollis: I'm too old for crazy. Can't we settle for silly?
- Isabella: It is better making love to someone when you're not married.
- Victor Lyons: That should be a little kinky.
- Isabella: What is kinky?
- Victor Lyons: I'll show you in a minute, well, or two.
- Matthew Hollis: I was just remembering the first time I kissed you. It was at your Christening. Your mother was powdering your bottom - and I said I wanted to be the first man to kiss it. And I leaned over and I did.
- Jennifer Lyons: How dare you drive a tiny baby *wild* with desire.
- Matthew Hollis: It doesn't matter now. But, when you're my age, do you know what I'll be?
- Jennifer Lyons: Dead, I suppose.
- Matthew Hollis: Dead and a half.
- Matthew Hollis: You're not going to leave Jennifer alone here, are you?
- Victor Lyons: Why? You coming with me?
- Matthew Hollis: No. No.
- Victor Lyons: Well, then, you'll babysit. If she misbehaves, I want you to put her over your knee, okay?
- Jennifer Lyons: I really appreciate you not saying anything. My father's had a lot of experience; but, he'd never understand this. I wish he knew though.
- Nicole Hollis: Why don't you tell him?
- Jennifer Lyons: I want your Dad to.
- Nicole Hollis: He won't. He's a coward.
- Jennifer Lyons: Mine's blind.
- Nicole Hollis: I'll trade you.
- Jennifer Lyons: I sort of have.
- Eduardo Marques: Welcome, my friends. Its all yours. The night. The sky. My city. My restaurant. Claudio, champagne.
- Victor Lyons: What do you want?
- Matthew Hollis: There's no other bed. Bastard.
- Victor Lyons: Prick!
- Matthew Hollis: And to think I said I love you.
- Victor Lyons: To who?
- Matthew Hollis: To you!
- Karen Hollis: When you get older, and obviously you're going to get a second chance at that, you'll find you can't have whatever you want. And there's a price for everything you get. And sometimes other people have to pay it!
- Jennifer Lyons: It's all my fault, really. He never had a chance.
- Karen Hollis: Men seldom do.
- Jennifer Lyons: Please, don't hate me.
- Karen Hollis: It's more like envy.
- Nicole Hollis: I'm no longer a carnivore. I don't eat anything that's ever had parents.
- Matthew Hollis: We have artichokes, they're orphans.
- Jennifer Lyons: Are we almost there?
- Matthew Hollis: I don't know. Soon, I think.
- Victor Lyons: You rented a house, you don't know where it is?
- Matthew Hollis: It's soon.
- Victor Lyons: Soon is all you know?
- Matthew Hollis: That's better than later.
- Matthew Hollis: I've always had a problem handling nudity. I like, mind you; but, it is troubling. Anybodies. Even my own. Sometimes, when I'm getting undressed, I almost wish I could leave the room. You know what I mean?
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