Hogan's Heroes (1965–1971)
Bob Crane: Col. Hogan, Col. Robert E. Hogan, Col. Robert Hogan
Photos
Quotes
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Hogan : [the phone rings while Hogan's men are cracking a safe] Answer the phone, tell him it's the wrong number.
Carter : [answers the phone in a mock-German accent] I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number.
[pause]
Carter : So what if you haven't told me who you're calling yet? No matter who you're calling it's still the wrong number because I don't even have a phone!
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Hogan : You see, sir, today is one of our national holidays - repeal of prohibition.
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[Hogan impersonating Gestapo and holds up a General at gunpoint]
General : What is this, you are not Gestapo?
Hogan : Lucky for you, we're going to get you out of this country.
General : But I don't want to leave the country.
Hogan : After your supply factory is blown up and the Gestapo blame you and you still want to stay?
General : I'm coming with you.
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Colonel Klink : Those prisoners will be released over my dead body!
Hogan : It's a deal!
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Hogan : [Hogan and Newkirk pose as German officers in a Nazi building] Take this man's name down, have him transferred to the Russian front!
Newkirk : Jawohl, Herr General! Heil Hitler!
Germans : [frantically] Heil Hitler!
Officer : [approaches Hogan] Might I assist you?
Hogan : [pointing at officer] This man is to be court martialed and *shot!*
Officer : But Herr General, I've not even greeted you yet!
Hogan : That's why! You're too slow!
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Leslie Smythe-Beddoes : [Hogan pretends to be a Nazi sympathizer to get on German radio and discredit propagandist Leslie Smythe-Beddoes] You read Mein Kampf, I believe.
Hogan : Oh, yeah. You know that guy, Hitler, who wrote it? A lot of people say that just because he wears that silly mustache the book's a big joke...
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Colonel Klink : When I looked out the window I thought I saw a chimpanzee raking in the garden.
Hogan : Well if it makes you feel any better, sir, there IS a chimpanzee raking in the garden.
Colonel Klink : WHAT?
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[a German truck flies by]
Hogan : There's never a cop when you need one
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Colonel Klink : [trying to demoralize Hogan after air-raid] ... No damage was done and your bombers suffered severe losses at the hands of our illustrious Luftwaffe.
Schultz : [walking in to the office introducing a Captain] Herr Kommandant, this is Captain Müller. He barely escaped the terrible raid!
Colonel Klink : That raid was a complete failure!
Schultz : No, Herr Kommandant! They knocked the stuffing out of the Messerschmitt factory and got away from the Luftwaffe!
Hogan : Illustrious Luftwaffe.
Schultz : Illustrious Luft...
Colonel Klink : Shultz!
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Col. Wilhelm Klink : [annoyed] Colonel Hogan, I'm very busy this morning - dispatches from Berlin. What is it?
Col. Robert E. Hogan : I want to register a complaint on behalf of my men.
Col. Wilhelm Klink : [sarcastically] Really? A complaint. Not sufficient entertainment, perhaps.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : No, you're funny enough.