The Bob Hope Show (1950– )

Bob Hope: Self - Host, Self, Jerry Warriner, Santa Claus

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bob : How old are you, Natalie?

  Natalie : 18.

  Bob : 18. It's hard to believe I'm almost twice your age!

  [audience laugh] 

  Bob : Three times? Four? Let's not get nasty, huh!

• [During an "I Love Lucy" skit, Lucy has smothered Ricky with kisses] 

  Ricky : The last time you kissed me like that, you wrecked the car, the insurance company cancelled my insurance on everything, and you did my laundry in the whiring mixer!

• ['Ricky' throws his hat into the wardrobe, only for the sea lion Lucy has hidden inside to throw the hat back out] 

  Lucy : Oh, close the door! I'm fumigating - we got termites!

  Ricky : Yeah, one of 'em must pitch for Cleveland!

• Ricky : Why are you fumigating the place? That's the landlord's job!

  Lucy : Well, Fred and Ethel are away. I'd just thought I'd help.

  Ricky : Oh, you're always helping, like when we went on our honeymoon. You thought we'd be lonesome, so you invited your mother to come along!

  Lucy : Well, I was just trying to help!

  Ricky : Who were you helping, your father?

• Ricky : [picking up a herring from a plate on the table]  What is this? What are these Texas anchovies doing here?

  Lucy : That's my first dividend. I joined a herring of the month club!

• Bob : Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?

  Marilyn : Well, I'd love to, Bob, but I'm not sure I can afford it!

• Bob : Would you consider going out with a fella a little older than yourself?

  Marilyn : Well of course, Bob. Why, do you have a son?

• Bob : You know, I can't get over you. Your singing sure has improved.

  Frank : Really, well, when was the last time you heard me?

  Bob : At rehearsal!

  Frank : You know, I can't get over you, Bob. The older you get, the funnier you get, and, man, you've grown hilarious!