- Carol Townsend: It's funny the evolution of marriage. First, a double bed, then twin beds, now separate rooms.
- Carol Townsend: Aren't you coming up?
- John Townsend: Directly, dear. I see Andrews hovering over the Scotch and I wouldn't want to disappoint him. Will you have a spot before you turn in?
- Carol Townsend: No thank you. Hurry won't you?
- John Townsend: But I thought you didn't want to go to bed.
- Carol Townsend: John, you just *won't* understand.
- Detective John McTavish: When a woman as nice like yourself, comes to see a Detective like me it's because her husband's up to no good. What's the scamper doing? Sending you flowers, I suppose?
- Carol Townsend: Why, yes, he has.
- Carol Townsend: Just as I thought. When flowers comes in the door, love flies out the window.
- Justice of the Peace: Well, I've had a lot of shotgun weddings, but this is the first fire ax wedding I've ever officiated at.
- Detective John McTavish: Now, what's your husband's name?
- Carol Townsend: John.
- Detective John McTavish: Oh, John, oh, the scamp. The same name as mine.
- Eric: Oh, we're just putty in the hands of fate. Love is a remarkable thing. It just must have its way!
- John Townsend: Carol, you have a lovely back.
- Carol Townsend: We find new wonders every day.
- John Townsend: And this beauty spot is most intriguing!
- Carol Townsend: Since when has that mole become a beauty spot?
- John Townsend: It's those crazy youngsters, Paul and Janet, they're in that room in bed and they're not married!
- Eric: What?
- Charlotte: How enterprising of them.
- Carol Townsend: If immorality is enterprising, you're a pioneer!
- Eric: Well, then, this is all your fault!
- John Townsend: Say, you keep your nose out of my affairs!
- Carol Townsend: Affairs describes it perfectly!
- Eric: Miki, think of it! She succumbed!
- Miki - Eric's Servant: Yes sir! Shall I prepare for your bath?
- Eric: Immediately!
- Eric: Faster, please. You know, Carol, you're so impetuous! I never realized it. You always seemed so cold and so reserved.
- Carol Townsend: But, I think that's too daring for words! I'd like to try one.
- Eric: Oh, Carol!
- Carol Townsend: Yes, Eric, just one. Do give me one, Charlotte.
- Charlotte: Well, I, eh, I just used up the last box, I'm sorry.
- Eric: I'm glad of that. I do not approve of women smoking cigars.
- Carol Townsend: Eric is so old fashioned - about some things. Ha-ha. Well, I suppose I've got to go back to plain, everyday, cigarettes.
- Carol Townsend: Now, this is exactly what we want. A perfect love nest.
- Eric: Oh, quite. Quite.
- Carol Townsend: Interesting bed, isn't it?
- Carol Townsend: Can anybody hear us?
- Charlotte: Of course not! Why do you ask?
- Carol Townsend: Charlotte, I've got to frank with you. There's a man in this room, isn't there?
- Eric: A man! Where?
- John Townsend: It may not have happened yet. I'm going home. I'm going to nip this Eric business in the bud before it goes any further.
- John Townsend: Say, I've got to get out of here and think this thing over and plan a campaign.
- Charlotte: Well, can't you plan it here?
- John Townsend: He'll be fit to be canned when I finish with him along with his smelly sardines.
- Charlotte: Oh, now John, calm yourself, darling.
- John Townsend: Calm myself, knowing that my wife may have been unfaithful to me? The only woman I ever loved!
- Charlotte: Well, what about me?
- Charlotte: I just meant it wouldn't be so hard on her if you married me.
- John Townsend: I apologize in advance for what I'm about to say; but, for heaven's sake - will you shut up!
- Carol Townsend: Oh, its so good of you to help me.
- Eric: Why, just to be near you, my princess, is exciting.
- Carol Townsend: Yes, now, run along, there's a good boy. Will you Eric? I'm tired. I-I wanted to lie down.
- Eric: Oh, well, can't I stay just a little while?
- Carol Townsend: Of course not. I'm going to undress.
- Carol Townsend: What is it darling?
- Janet: Paul and I are going to live together.
- Carol Townsend: Quite right, darling. Young people should. When do you intend to marry?
- Janet: We're not going to marry.
- Janet: Who's there?
- John Townsend: It's your father, Janet. Open the door. Janet, do you hear me? Open this door!
- Janet: Paul says no, father. You see, we're in bed!
- Carol Townsend: Will you promise to get married immediately?
- Janet: Oh, as soon as we can get some clothes on, Mother.