Guy Kibbee credited as playing...
Horace
- Horace P. Hemingway: [Finding Mabel in his train compartment] Y-You get out of here!
- Mabel: Why? I don't snore.
- Horace P. Hemingway: S-S-Snore?
- [He hurries out of the compartment. Mabel settles back into the bed]
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- Horace P. Hemingway: He had heard that I'd had a baby. That is, my wife, Mathilda, had it.
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- Ezra Ounce: Are you a moral man, Mr. Hemingway?
- Horace P. Hemingway: Well, I like to think so.
- Ezra Ounce: Well, don't you know?
- Horace P. Hemingway: Oh, yes, yes, I'm a moral man.
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- Horace P. Hemingway: Mathilda and Barbara send their love to you.
- Ezra Ounce: Barbara sends her love to me?
- Horace P. Hemingway: Yes, Ezra.
- Ezra Ounce: Why should she send her love to me? She's never seen me.
- Horace P. Hemingway: Well, she's seen your picture.
- Ezra Ounce: Well, then, maybe she's sending her love to my picture.
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- Ezra Ounce: He told me the tire would run 10,000 miles. What happened? It only ran 9,998 miles. It's dishonest! False representation, that's what it is. I don't want a new tire. Sounds eccentric but I can afford to be eccentric. I've got $35 million. You haven't got $35 million. You can't afford to be eccentric. What are you shaking your head for?
- Horace P. Hemingway: Because, I can't afford to be eccentric, Ezra
- Ezra Ounce: That's what I said.
- Horace P. Hemingway: Well, that's what I mean.
- Ezra Ounce: Well, why didn't you say so?
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- Ezra Ounce: I shall take a second 10 million to form the O.F. for the E. of A.M.
- Horace P. Hemingway: The what?
- Ezra Ounce: The Ounce Foundation for the Elevation of American Morals.
- Horace P. Hemingway: You can elevate a lot of morals for $10 million, Ezra.
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- Horace P. Hemingway: Oh, you dreadful woman! How did you get in my room?
- Mabel: Hello, Horace.
- Horace P. Hemingway: You - you - you can't smoke in here.
- Mabel: I am smoking.
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- Mabel: I'll tell him about our purple night. That we were train roommates. I'll show him your card.
- Horace P. Hemingway: How - how much did you say you'd take?
- Mabel: Twenty-five thousand.
- Horace P. Hemingway: You said twenty the first time.
- Mabel: Why didn't you pay me the first time?
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- Horace P. Hemingway: That's the bathroom.
- Mathilda: What do you suppose I thought it was? The Bank of England?
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- Horace P. Hemingway: What are you going to do?
- Mabel: What are you going to do, Horace?
- Horace P. Hemingway: Don't! Don't call me by my first name.
- Mabel: Okay, P. P's your second name, isn't it?
- Horace P. Hemingway: P stands for Peter.
- Mabel: All right, Pete.
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- Horace P. Hemingway: I mean it. This is serious!
- Jimmy Higgens: So what? You're serious and I'm going daffy.
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- [everyone has been hitting the Dr. Silver's Golden Elixir]
- Ezra Ounce: Very beautiful.
- Mathilda: Very, very beautiful.
- Horace P. Hemingway: Oh, very, very, *very* beautiful.
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