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1-19 of 19
- When Suze suspects Jez of having an affair, Linda happily goes under cover to find him out. She soon has a more pressing problem: Tom has worn a bellboy part in the soap opera 'Crossroads', which requires him to leave London. To persuade him to stay, Linda pretends to have a terminal illness. Will he see through her ruse?
- When Tom hits The Big 3-0, his parents show up to say Happy Birthday....and to unintentionally aggravate him. They tell him they're staying in a caravan and using his bathroom; displeased, he asks Linda to come on to his father to scare him off. But it backfires..
- Tom is overjoyed when Linda's sister Sharon, known professionally as Sugar Walls, seeks sanctuary from the gutter press after reports of her 12-in-a-bed romp with a football team. Suze mistakes her for Pam Ayres, while Linda just wants her out...until the press assumes she's having an affair with Tom. This opens doors for both flatmates, including an imagined quickie with Dale Winton for Linda. And even after Sugar leaves, Linda still has Liam Gallagher's phone number.
- Shirley Twitch, a warden from the Eva Braun Borstal For Girls, is now down-and-out and Linda lets her pitch a tent in the back garden. They turn it into a campsite and even Suze and Jez decide to holiday there. Meanwhile, Tom has written a play for his heartthrob Simon Shepherd, who honors him with a visit.
- After a night out Tom wakes up with Neville, an irritating security guard he throws out, while a horrified Linda finds she has gone to bed with Maddie, a lesbian who praises her sexual technique. She tries to prove she's straight by accosting a man in the bar where Neville works, then by taking on one of dominatrix Beryl's clients.
- Tom agrees to a show marriage with American lesbian Gloria so she can stay in the country with her girlfriend India. Linda hates Gloria but is attracted to her brother Vince, who promises to feature her in his porn film. Degsy, a gay friend Tom fancies, designs the extravagant wedding gown. After the wedding Linda and Tom exchange confessions regarding their desire objects, unaware they're in for shocks.
- Stuck in the flat with a broken leg, Tom gets a home-helper called Shirley: a mentally unstable man who loathes having a woman's name and having that fact mentioned. Linda finally gets a date, but flower-deliveryman Joe is a no-unmarried-sex Christian.
- Tom has a one-line walk-on part as a lollipop man in 'Salmon', a surreal Japanese play supposedly starring Tom Cruise and staged in a converted fire station. After he and Linda have swapped school stories in the dressing room, where he breaks a sink, he forgets his one line and, billed for the sink, he and Linda must escape down the fire pole.
- On the New Year's Eve of the new century, Linda is at a glitzy party and Tom is holding hands with heartthrob Simon Shepherd - and then they wake up to find themselves spending the evening in the flat with each other. Tom's guests seem to have gotten lost and he and Linda end up playing Charades...and kissing each other out of desperation. By the time the party starts they've both fallen asleep.
- Tom purchases a cat which he hopes will make him lots of money - about £5000 a week; Linda has been visiting her prison pen pal, "Freddie Windrush," and he escapes to see her and they plan to go to Spain together. Linda tells Tom that Freddie is her long-lost German cousin Fritz, which he believes....and Tom and "Fritz" end up sleeping together. It looks like Fritz will be going to Spain with Tom instead...unless someone recognizes Freddie and calls the police.
- Home on a Saturday night, Tom suddenly panics over feeling old, so he hits the clubs on his own while Linda stays in drinking wine and drunkenly flirting with Jez. While Tom is out he meets Nino, a good-looking Italian, but the next day he wakes up with Kevin from Manchester.
- Following his foster parents' deaths, Zippy, the son Linda gave up for adoption as a teenager, visits and takes her out for a makeover. Unfortunately they don't really bond and after Tom has delivered Suze's baby - videoed by Beryl to send to 'You've Been Framed' - in his presence, Zippy makes his escape, declaring "You're all freaks!"
- Linda is offered a job modelling on a catwalk; Tom is offered a part in a musical and begins taking singing lessons from outrageous Heidi Honeycombe, who dresses like and gets on with Linda.
- When Tom lands a job in the World of Sofa series of adverts, he attracting the attention of conceited actor Rick Cheesecloth, with whom he starts a relationship despite Rick's animosity to Linda, though it ends when Rick goes back into the closet. Linda falls for Ron, an attractive co-worker on the mashed-potato assembly line but loses him to plain colleague Daisy. She and Tom end up advising each other on picking up, given their lack of success with men.
- Linda and Tom are shocked to find an open coffin in the building containing the corpse of landlady Beryl. They are visited by a jocular undertaker and then by Beryl's handsome young Spanish toy-boy Pedro. Planning to exploit his grief to bed him, Linda and Tom are interrupted by...Beryl. Suze thinks it's thoughtful of Beryl to show up for her own funeral, but actually..
- Tom decides to give acting lessons. His first pupil is Linda's sister Sugar, who's preparing for a play. He takes her to see 'Macbeth,' where he gets decked by Patsy Palmer. Meanwhile Linda is looking after Petula, a doll Suze and Jez have bought to practice for parenthood...and becomes so attached to it that she refuses to return it.
- When Linda finds a love letter from an admirer, she assumes it's Jez and does her best to vamp him; Tom has an audition to play a criminal in a reconstruction sketch for 'Crimewatch,' but on his way to the audition he slips on the overly-polished floor and breaks his leg.
- Tom has a part in a medical soap called 'Doctor Deaf', but Linda takes a real trip to the hospital after arguing with a bus conductor, falling off the bus into a shop window, and landing in Casualty with a saucepan stuck on her head. She is diagnosed with reverse body dysmorphic disorder, which explains why she thinks she's gorgeous. When Tom comes to fetch her home, he recognizes one of the doctors as former classmate Bart, who once spread around that Tom was a cross-dresser, so Tom punches him before leaving with Linda - who still has the pan on her head.
- Screamingly vulgar Linda La Hughes and screamingly camp Tom Farrell share a flat in a house owned by resident landlady and former prostitute Beryl Merit. One day they find an attractive scantily-clad black man in their kitchen and both make a play for him. He teases them by pretending to be an escort, but in fact he's Jez who has just moved in the flat below them - with his girlfriend Suze.