Please don't make the same mistake I did. Don't let your curiosity get the best of you. I don't care if it's Friday the 13th - there is no reason whatsoever to watch this. You will regret it.
Why do I do this to myself? Uncork'd Entertainment produces features of even lower quality than The Asylum, and I've had the misfortune of finding myself watching a few at this point. I feel bad for those filmmakers whose works were picked up by Uncork'd simply for distribution, because their features find their name attached to titles that not only lack value, but suck it in from elsewhere and destroy it, like a black hole. There was absolutely no care whatsoever put into 'The 13th Friday.' Everything here is rotten. Tristan Price's screenplay is rubbish, with characters so empty as to be almost nonsensical, lazy and thoughtless scene writing, horridly dragging and unbelievable dialogue, and a narrative that struggles to get our attention, let alone keep it. It's at best debatable if the story is even coherent, as some story beats don't truly seem connected, and plot development is wholly scattershot. Price's direction is exactly on par, lackadaisical and unbothered so as to seemingly achieve the bare minimum. It's questionable if the fundamental arrangement of shots and scenes can even pass as adequate, and the cast would appear to have been guided into performances that actively spit in the eye of what any beginner's acting class would instruct. Although, maybe it's not Price's fault - it's possible that every actor appearing herein is actually just that terrible and unskilled.
I couldn't tell you what the plot of this movie is. One may read a basic premise, sure, but I can only assume that wherever one may find it, it was contributed by someone associated with the production (Price themselves?) who had insider knowledge. To watch 'The 13th Friday,' the narrative is so haphazard and poorly written that it's indiscernible. Makeup is absurdly overdone, costume design is tawdry and laughable, and special effects are flailing and specious. Lighting is inconsistent even within a single scene, cinematography is so flat and rough as to almost hurt one's eyes, and sound or vocal effects are downright laughable. Music cues are both overdone and so common as to be dull. Imagery that is theoretically intended to inspire fright is characterized by a lot of tropes, or plainly lifts directly from more well known horror flicks, and is never anything but bland. In the rare, fleeting instance when the scene writing demonstrates a small spark of what may possibly be a good idea, it vanishes or is altogether abused just as quickly as it showed up in the first place.
I cannot overstate or overemphasize just how egregiously putrescent this squalor is. Only a handful of movies immediately come to mind that are this atrocious (2019's 'A karate Christmas miracle,' 2018's 'Elves,' or 2010's 'The portal'). Uwe Boll's pictures are cinematic masterpieces by comparison, and even "mockbusters" like 'Atlantic Rim' or 'The Almighty Thor' are genuinely more well made. To be blunt, everyone who was involved in the creation of 'The 13th Friday' should be ashamed of themselves. Do yourself a favor, and avoid this like your life depended on it.
Why do I do this to myself? Uncork'd Entertainment produces features of even lower quality than The Asylum, and I've had the misfortune of finding myself watching a few at this point. I feel bad for those filmmakers whose works were picked up by Uncork'd simply for distribution, because their features find their name attached to titles that not only lack value, but suck it in from elsewhere and destroy it, like a black hole. There was absolutely no care whatsoever put into 'The 13th Friday.' Everything here is rotten. Tristan Price's screenplay is rubbish, with characters so empty as to be almost nonsensical, lazy and thoughtless scene writing, horridly dragging and unbelievable dialogue, and a narrative that struggles to get our attention, let alone keep it. It's at best debatable if the story is even coherent, as some story beats don't truly seem connected, and plot development is wholly scattershot. Price's direction is exactly on par, lackadaisical and unbothered so as to seemingly achieve the bare minimum. It's questionable if the fundamental arrangement of shots and scenes can even pass as adequate, and the cast would appear to have been guided into performances that actively spit in the eye of what any beginner's acting class would instruct. Although, maybe it's not Price's fault - it's possible that every actor appearing herein is actually just that terrible and unskilled.
I couldn't tell you what the plot of this movie is. One may read a basic premise, sure, but I can only assume that wherever one may find it, it was contributed by someone associated with the production (Price themselves?) who had insider knowledge. To watch 'The 13th Friday,' the narrative is so haphazard and poorly written that it's indiscernible. Makeup is absurdly overdone, costume design is tawdry and laughable, and special effects are flailing and specious. Lighting is inconsistent even within a single scene, cinematography is so flat and rough as to almost hurt one's eyes, and sound or vocal effects are downright laughable. Music cues are both overdone and so common as to be dull. Imagery that is theoretically intended to inspire fright is characterized by a lot of tropes, or plainly lifts directly from more well known horror flicks, and is never anything but bland. In the rare, fleeting instance when the scene writing demonstrates a small spark of what may possibly be a good idea, it vanishes or is altogether abused just as quickly as it showed up in the first place.
I cannot overstate or overemphasize just how egregiously putrescent this squalor is. Only a handful of movies immediately come to mind that are this atrocious (2019's 'A karate Christmas miracle,' 2018's 'Elves,' or 2010's 'The portal'). Uwe Boll's pictures are cinematic masterpieces by comparison, and even "mockbusters" like 'Atlantic Rim' or 'The Almighty Thor' are genuinely more well made. To be blunt, everyone who was involved in the creation of 'The 13th Friday' should be ashamed of themselves. Do yourself a favor, and avoid this like your life depended on it.