Men in White (1998 TV Movie)
Cheap, nasty, unfunny, poorly acted and practically an insult to all but the most juvenile of viewers
23 August 2004
The world is in trouble – alien abductions are on the rise as they prepare for a full invasion and the President's main adviser, Dr Strangemeister, is part of the conspiracy to facilitate it. When two dumb bin men escape the aliens, Dr Strangemeister figures he can meet the demands of the President to put people on the case and the demands of the aliens to keep it all quiet by putting Ed and Roy on the job as special agents. Whether they know it or not, Ed and Roy take on the aliens to prevent invasion.

When I watched this film I knew that it would not be that great but I had hoped it would be a reasonable spoof but I was not prepared for just how stupid, unfunny and cheap the whole thing would be. For me to waste my time and your time discussing a plot that is little more than a very basic frame of this stupid live-action cartoon would be to give it more credit than it even deserves. Suffice to say that this film has no real story other than a very spoof aping of other films. This wouldn't be a problem if the film was even funny once or twice but it really isn't at all – not even once. Not only that but the tone is just unrelentingly silly and is simply only suitable for those under-ten. At one point even one of the characters remarks that 'our target audience will be in bed in an hour' at which point it was only 1630 – but I still thought he was right!

The writing is very poor and the jokes are lame from start to finish – I'm sure some of them worked on paper but none of them were funny on screen and the hyper delivery a la Tom & Jerry just made it feel even less enjoyable. And if you think the writing makes the film cheap then wait until you see the 'special' effects – they are dire, even for a television movie they are laughable inept and not helped by the casts' total inability to convincingly interaction with any of the computer stuff! In fact generally the whole cast are rubbish, partly due to the material but also partly due to their inability to deliver even average lines well. That Wilson and Prince are awful will be no surprise after you see them mugging like mad in the opening scene – and they continue this throughout. However what was a surprise was how poor people like Bostwick, Kennedy and Walsh were – I can only assume they were short of cash because they were rubbish even when given average lines (some of Bostwick's lines could have been worth a laugh or two if the delivery hadn't been so bad).

Overall this is awful and I add my voice to the long list of those imploring you to listen to our cry of 'stay away'! The jokes are rubbish, the delivery awful, the plot woeful and the whole film is only suitable for the under 10's. The special effects are visibly cheap and nasty but the whole film smacks of the same standard and I actually gave up on it with 20 minutes to go. The lowest point for me is a brutally unfunny running gag based on one of the funniest films ever – Dr Strangelove – can we have no sense of respect for greatness?
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