Jurassic City

You have to give it one star if you don't have the strength to loose a chunk of your life torturing yourself for the full feature. However it generously delivers all it's low- expectations from the beginning enabling you to do something more useful like sort out your fridge or organise your toilet paper by different weights. The following is due to the fact that IMDb requires you to submit a minimum 10 lines, sorry in advance. 19 mins in there is some clichéd girl on girl action in a prison. The title sequence isn't bad, it matches the red of the tight short dress that the dark haired girl wears. There's a decent ironic analogy of Freud's structural model of the pschye captured through Altmanesque segues, actually there isn't I'm just fluffing out the 10 line minimum. Oh there are lingering shots of a woman's behind as she gets into a Jacuzzi. Sorry what was I reviewing again? It's already left my mind.

This is officially the worst movie I have ever seen. Every single aspect is a train wreck, from the totally implausible plot to the incredibly crappy special effects. The acting is wooden, the dinosaurs came out of a cereal box, the characters are all complete idiots and the script is a disaster.

If you like movies that make you shout at the TV and do shots whenever something really stupid happens, this one's for you. It goes well with alcohol and any snack that can easily be thrown at the screen.

I loved it.

"Jurassic City" should be taken for what it is, which is a cash-in on the popular "Jurassic Park" franchise, complete with the fairly bad CGI dinosaurs and effects, as well as some wooden acting performances.

The story is about a group of young fraternity girls being arrested for driving and driving. They are taken to a correctional Facility that apparently also holds a hardened serial rapist. A militant group brings a load of secret cargo to aforementioned Facility, but as the cargo breaks out, the Facility becomes the hunting grounds for predatory dinosaurs.

A very generic, albeit implausible storyline with enough plot holes to make even a Swiss cheese jealous. And this is complimented by CGI animated dinosaurs that just weren't fully believable. They could have used a bit more money and effort of the CGI effects.

The movie does have a couple of familiar faces on the cast list, just to lure in the audience because the semi-famous actors didn't have that big roles after all. I am, of course, talking about Ray Wise and Vernon Wells here. The overall acting in "Jurassic City" was as to be expected from such a movie; wooden, prehistoric and forgettable.

All in all "Jurassic City" is not overly worth the time and effort, and there are far better movies in the same genre available.

Either this writer has no idea how the prison system works, or he just doesn't care. The movie didn't make a lick of sense from beginning to end. I could list all the ridiculous things, but it's just not worth it. I know this is just a dumb dinosaur movie, but even so, its got to be close to real life at some point. I saw this only because of Robert LaSardo. He does a good performance but it's not enough, he is drowning in a sea of dross.

It is just wrong. CGI is cheap, monsters/blood/explosions don't connect to the set, to the lights; editing is awkward, sometimes a kill is full frontal, gory details and all, and sometimes it happens off-screen; story is as thin as you probably guessed, lines vary from utilitarian to abscond, with maybe an attempt at making it into genre sub-culture but unconvincingly so.

And light/camera work is terrible: if you where willing to actually see the faces, the expressions of the people at work in front of you during one of those "let me explain myself" scene, you are out of luck one time out of two - which is, in these times of all-digital processing, kind of a shame.

And it is full of mistakes, big and small, that you'll surely find a list of on this fine website if only people can be coerced to report on them.

I hope the people who worked that film had fun, where getting paid and all that, and legitimately didn't hold too much hopes for the success of that thing.

As much as I enjoyed Attack the Block, Pacific Rim or Independence Day or other stuff that people should obviously watch without taking it the least bit seriously, well, we are seriously into Anaconda III or various alligator/saurian Terribly Bad CGI siblings territory here; this is definitely no Snakes On A Plane.