Darren:

It’s been a month since the Anomaly was destroyed, and since Carrie left. The Premier claims that the military successfully neutralized The Anomaly, but no one knows for sure. The Anomaly just disappeared, as if it never existed. This has led to some people believing that The Anomaly was just some collective delusion, something built up from all of our anxieties. Others think the Gods wiped it away before it could get to us. I’d like to think Carrie did it, but I don’t know…

After the Anomaly disappeared, Enzoberg opened itself back up to the outside world and a temporary ceasefire was held between us and Cremston. I left Enzoberg to search for Carrie. I had come across some who claimed to see her heading towards The Anomaly, but they didn’t have any info on her current whereabouts. Eventually, I stopped looking. Carrie—she was gone.

I managed to come across Axel however. He was wearing a disguise but I could tell it was him. He said he was going by ‘Darren’ now which was–well, I didn’t fully appreciate that. He told me that he should keep moving. He had heard about an island populated by various runaways and vagabonds. “Sounds like my scene,” he said, and he handed me an envelope to deliver to his mom. I took it and we parted ways.

I returned to Enzoberg and to my dad’s home. However, things had turned to chaos. Rioting ensued in response to the Premier’s disastrous response to The Anomaly. No one believed that the military eliminated The Anomaly and blamed the Premier for keeping us trapped. Maybe something will come of the riots and protests. Maybe the government will be forced to change. Or it will worsen.

I’m still struggling to find work. I spend my days wandering Enzoberg. Today, I decided to waste my time in the art museum again. I sit down and stare at a painting I hadn’t seen before. A familiar voice greets me. “I knew I would find you here.” I look over. “Don’t you recognize me. It’s Simon. Remember?”

“Oh. Oh…Does this mean that I’m—”

“No no no. The Gods have no interest in you. Not anymore, I can assure you. Like the painting?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s…different.”

“The Gods banned it, but I convinced them to release back to the people. Where it belongs. So, how have things?”

I never know how to respond to this, so I just say the usual. “Fine. It’s going.”

“It’s going…Well, that’s good to here. Mind if I join you?”

“Uh, sure.” I think he already had. “So, are you—”

“Oh, I’m still a ghost, but I’ve got a little bit more freedom now. Some flexibility so to speak. The Gods don’t seem to mind that I broke out of their little jail. In fact, I’m set to meet The Ancient One very soon.”

“The Ancient One?”

“Yes, apparently I’m to receive a big promotion,” he smiles.

I never heard of The Ancient One so I just nod.

A brief awkward silence as we stare at the painting. “Sorry about Carrie.”

I nod. “Thanks.”

“I’m not supposed to tell you this but,” he looks around and then leans close, “but she was the one who destroyed The Gray One and Afflatus.”

I look at him. “She did?”

“Oh yes. I saw it. I saw it all.”

“What?”

He smiles. “I had finally figured out how to turn invisible. You just have to forget about your ego for a bit. Took me a while but I got a hang of it. But it meant I couldn’t interrupt the action. But I didn’t need to. I knew Carrie could do it. She didn’t need any help from Simon.”

“How? How did she—”

He leans in again. “She found the door. Oh, and Neil was there.”

“Neil?”

“Your brother.”

“I know that. But how?”

“Well, it wasn’t really your brother, I think. Just a mental projection of sorts. And Neil tried to convince her not to go through the door. But she was having none of it…but that means that…you know…”

I stare down at my hands. “But, can you, or maybe the Gods bring her back? Like how you are—”

“I’m sorry, Darren.” I feel his hand on my back. My eyes begin to fill with tears. He hands me a handkerchief.

“Thanks,” and I try handing it back to him.

“Oh, you can keep that.”

I rub my nose and my eyes turn back to the painting, the figures altered by the wetness still in my eyes. “At least I know now.”

“Yes.”

“Thank you for going through the trouble of telling me. So you were really there?”

“Yes. She did well. And she was certainly braver than I was in my last moments. I was…well you don’t want to hear about all that.”

“So…do I really want to know what happens now?”

“Well, some other poor sap will likely be trialed by the Gods now. But it won’t be you! So, in a way, you passed!”

I’m not sure how that works, but I don’t say anything. At least I get a handkerchief.

“And you certainly don’t need a narrator or tale-weaver following your every move. Which, I guess means that I may never see you again. Well, I’m sure I’ll see you again, but I probably won’t be able to, you know, be a big participant in your life.”

A silence. I don’t know what to say other than: “thank you, Simon. Thank you. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“You’re welcome. What’s ‘this’?”

“I don’t know. Surviving, I guess. Sounds corny but—”

“Meh. A little bit. But this is life, not a tale or an epic poem. Anyway, I’ve got to run. I want to speak with the ‘old narrator.’ He actually might be here somewhere. Take care, Darren. And remember, when applying for a job, submit your resume to the company’s website directly. And when you talk to the recruiter, stand up straight, look them in the eye, and give them a firm, firm handshake. Try it.” He sticks his hand out and I shake it. “There you go. You’ll do just fine. Take care.” And I watch Simon walk away.

Now I’m back at home, or rather my dad’s home. I’m on a futon typing all this on my laptop. It’s 1:46 AM and I should have gone to bed a long time ago. Oh well. Another A-to-Z Challenge coming to a close and, once again, I’ve procrastinated. Maybe next year will be different. I hope I will be. As soon as I’m done typing this I won’t do the responsible thing and go to sleep, but instead I will write down that melody that harpsichord played. And maybe tomorrow, I will put words to it. And I will go for a walk and see the blackbirds or see a friend I haven’t seen in awhile. And maybe I

“Hey,” my Dad walks into the living room. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Nah, just doing this last-minute thing. Like usual…”

“Another application? That can wait until tomorrow.”

“You couldn’t sleep either?”

“No…I keep thinking.”

“Oh yeah?”

“About Neil. And your mother.”

“Right.”

“Yep…anyway just going to get some water. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Anyway, I just need to find a title for this. I was thinking “Zugzwang” which refers to a situation in chess where the only moves a player can make only put them at a disadvantage. It makes me think of fate. And humanity. It’s easy to say that we’re predetermined a certain path, possibly one of destruction. I don’t like that, but I’m also tired. But maybe I can name the song something different. “Carrie” is too obvious and I feel like she wouldn’t appreciate. But she isn’t here, so…there it goes. “Carrie,” whether she likes it or not.

People don’t truly die. Maybe their bodies decompose, their memories scatter into air, but each person’s impact is continuous and felt. Another drop. Another brick. Another particle in the cosmic soup. Take your pick of metaphor. And Carrie, she will still be here, in these words, and in this melody. And I will be here as well. Another year walks away. And over there, a door opens while another sleeps.

---

Written for the A-Z Challenge. Thanks everyone for reading and commenting.

I should probably mention that I’m not Darren. I’m just like Simon however and have to inject myself into anything I write because I’m a weird asshole. I also get self-indulgent at 2 in the morning as my neurons struggle to retain themselves. And I don’t have a brother named Neil who died in the war. My brother is alive and going to Disney Land this summer. Maybe the Gods are kinder than we thought.

The Old Narrator:

The paintings have taken
a different color now.
My memories and experiences
aren’t my own. I am an empty
container. A mere creation
being observed like the gods
and the mortals. Speaking of gods,
one of them enters this museum.

“I see prison life has been treating
you well.”

“Lucrezia, I’m surprised you haven’t
come to visit me sooner. Or at least
these ‘museum’. After all, you are
the God of Art.”

“So I’ve been told. Look, I didn’t come
to survey the art. I need you to go
and stop Afflatus. Or the Gray One.
Or whatever that thing is.”

“Oh, but the Ancient One—”

“Said that the Gods cannot go down.
But you’re not a God.”

“And how am I supposed to stop it?”

“I don’t know. But you’re an old one.
You have gifts.”

“Funny thing about that, the Ancient One
was just here not too long ago and, well,
turns out I’m not an old one. He made me
for some type of sick experiment.”

“Well…I doubt he’s watching you
too closely. I think you can go
quickly and get the thing—”

“And why do you suddenly care
about the well-being of the people
of Enzoberg. Or anywhere?”

“I don’t. But if The Gray One
or whatever destroys enough lives
it can ascend to godhood.
We don’t need another upstart.”

“Does Merrick know you’re here?”

“No. I’m not just the God of Art,
remember? I can slip through
the shadows and—”

“I ask because he’s right here.”

Merrick enters. “No one is going
anywhere. We have our orders.”

“Did you forget that thing is
your brother? What if it succeeds
and becomes a god?”

“We can handle ourselves.”

“Maybe. But do you want
to take the chance?”

“We have no choice.”

“Pfft. What’s the point of being
a God if we don’t have a choice?”

“Lucrezia, do you want me
to banish you here as well
and strip you of your godhood?”

“Merrick, no need to be dramatic.
Besides, you would find it difficult
for the others to side with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. The others
want to stop this thing as much
as I do. Forget the Ancient One.”

“What?”

“Why do we still take orders
from him?”

“He can destroy us.”

Lucrezia looks at me then
back to Merrick. “Well, perhaps
we do let Afflatus destroy
Enzoberg. And maybe we can
convince him to join us.”

“Join us?”

“Against the Ancient One.
His and the Gray One’s powers
combined. Along with the narrator
here and the other gods. The Ancient
One won’t stand a cha—”

Lucrezia is destroyed. Particles
sparkling in the light. I stare
at Merrick who is as shocked
as I am. The Ancient One
suddenly appears.

“Sorry about that,” The Ancient One
says. “But perhaps I acted too quickly.
It would have been interesting to see
her attempt that plan.”

“I…” Merrick stammers. “I’m sorry
sir. I didn’t know she would—”

“It’s perfectly fine. But as the God
of Law, you need to realize
that everyone will attempt
to circumvent the law. You need
a tighter leash on everyone.”

Merrick kneels before The Ancient One.
“My apologies.”

The Ancient One places a hand
on Merrick’s shoulder. “It’s fine.
Many gods have tried to slay me.
And many more will make the attempt.
Perhaps one day, someone will succeed.
Could even be your brother.”

“My brother wouldn’t.”

“Stand up. Out of all my children
you are certainly one of them.
As for you, my little narrator,”
he turns to me. “I can feel
the hate emanating off you.
You want to destroy me.
Understandable. But you know
you cannot. You may have
my memories, but you do not
have my strengths. And even
if you had found the means,
destroying me would be like
destroying light or gravity.
Removing me would
fundamentally alter the universe.
Everything you know would
cease to be. Maybe Afflatus
would be comfortable with that,
but you? You’re just a shred
of me. A pinky toe.”

“Are you done?”

“Unfortunately, I’m never done.”

Carrie:

Eyes open and I sit up.
I’m on a hill and surrounding
that hill, a forest, then the fields,
then the sea. But no buildings.
No streets or cities. No soldiers
marching. No faces racing
into trenches. There aren’t even
birds in the sky. I try to remember
how I got here. I remember speaking
to Darren on the phone and leaving
Enzoberg, getting a ride through
the countryside, towards the Gray.

“Carrie,” a familiar voice approaches.
“I think you’re in a coma again,” J says.

“No, I remember heading towards
the Anomaly. And I, we saw it
hovering above the horizon. A shape
we couldn’t quite grasp. Now
we’re here. I think we’re inside
it.” I look around. No sun.
The air is white and the grass
is faint, as if color is being
slowly washed away.

“Have you seen The Gray One?”
But J shakes his head. That’s when
I feel the pull and start heading
towards the trees.

In the woods I find a river
but the water is not clear.
The tips of my fingers touch
its surface and the cold rises
through my hand. Dread
reaches into my, touching
the rooms of my hear. It is
death, but it’s not frightening
or violent, as if part of me
is being completed. No,
it’s actually frightening.
I’m scared. But the fear seems
so distant as if it belongs
to another. A figure rises
from the river.

and the cold rises through
her hand and up her arm.
A dread reaches into her
touching the rooms of her heart.
It’s death, but it’s not frightening
or violent as if a part of her
is finally being completed.
It’s actually frightening.
She’s scared, but the fear seems
so distant as if it’s another’s
voice. A figure rises from the river.
Neither man nor woman.

“You’ve finally come. Both
of you,” The Gray One
floats towards J and I.

“Once Enzoberg and Cremston
are destroyed, we will ascend
and usurp the Gods.” Two voices
from The Gray One’s lips.

“But,” J says, “what if we
don’t want to ascend?”

“It’s okay. I do not either.
But we must. The Gods
have played with us
for too long.”

“But, I don’t understand
why Enzoberg, or anyone
needs to be destroyed.”

The Gray One stares
into J. “Enzoberg killed you,
remember? They were afraid
of you.”

“But I’m not afraid of them.
Or the Gods. Or you. I just
want to be alive again. To have
my own body.”

“You will not have anything then,”
The Gray One raises its hand
and before J could scream, he dissolves
into gray dust which falls into the river
and drifts away.

“How could you do that? He was
just a kid!”

“No. He was the last of the Xian.
But when we ascend, we can bring
them back. We can return to the old
times. No nations or wars. No games
or religion.”

I watch the river flow. I look up.
No sun. No sky.

“We will be at Enzoberg soon
and then Cremston not long after.
And then we will remake the world
the way it was supposed to be
before the Gods came.”

“I think,” I say, “some part of me
is still within you as you are
within me.”

“Yes.”

I touch the surface of the water
again and it touches me back.
“And maybe this world of yours
is also mine.”

A man’s voice erupts
from the Gray One’s lips,
“this is absurd. She thinks
this place is hers. Let’s turn her
into mist.”

A woman’s voice: “No,
she is right. We won’t feel
our full potential without
her. We will absorb her
instead.”

The water begins
to rise and I run through
the woods. I charge through
the opening and hear the water
chasing me and flooding the forest.
I race down the hill and fall
into a trench. A hand holds me.
“Brace yourself,” Neil says.
We cling to the sides of the trench
as water floods and rushes
around us. “Here,” he hands me
a gas mask and winks. “Okay men,”
Neil yells, “time to show those
Cremston bastards whose
no man’s land this is! And you,”
he shouts at me. “I need you
to find the door!” “The door?”
“That’s how you’ll get out!”
“What?” “Alright men! Let’s go!
Move! Move!” The soldiers leap
out from the trench. Rain torrents
and bullets tear the air. I crawl
from the trench, soaked. I see
soldiers fall, bodies hanging
on wire, and a gray mist
consuming the battlefield.
I put on my gas mask
and start running.

In the distance, I see a shape.
The door. I run and run.
The ground shakes and the sky
ruptures above, and gray water
falls and consumes the battlefield.
The door. It’s right there.
But just before I can grasp
the handle, I am pushed
and lose myself as the water
grabs me. And I am

The Gray One:

consumed. Now we are
complete. And Enzoberg
is just over there. We can
see it. It’s a shame

Afflatus:

to destroy such a machine.
After all, isn’t that what
Enzoberg is? A machine
producing machines, not
people? Which reminds me
I never found my coin.
Maybe we can

Carrie:

find Neil. Where is he?
Where am I? I feel my ego

Afflatus:

being torn. Sorry about that.
Now, I’ve never been one
for perfection but

The Gray One:

god, old one, now mortal.
Togethered.

Afflatus:

The Ancient One will have
nothing on

Carrie:

us. Wait, the Ancient One?
I never learned about the

Afflatus:

Ancient One is the God
of Gods. He was here before
the old ones, apparently,
but he had just let the old ones

The Gray One:

be free. But then the Gods
came and destroyed everything
with their

Afflatus:

egos are what make the world
a more exciting place. We need
a little chaos every now and

Carrie:

then what? What happens
once we destroy the

Afflatus:

Gods will be ash. Smaller
than

The Gray One:

memory. We are approaching
the front gates. They are firing

Afflatus:

projectiles. How tasty. Hm,
but what about

Carrie:

Darren. And everyone else?
The pain is

The Gray One:

Only passing. But what

Afflatus:

about Merrick. Sure, he’s
obnoxious. But I don’t think
he deserves

The Gray One:

to die. To get out of the way.
The world needs to be
reformed. It needs

Carrie:

another chance. We’re only

Afflatus:

human. How trite. But I admit
I appreciate them more than

The Gray One:

the old ones—we destroyed
each other as well. That’s how
the Gods were able to conquer

Afflatus:

us. Oh, I remember. Good
times. But also bad. Maybe
it’s the mortal blood now
within me but

Carrie:

I’m starting to feel

The Gray One:

that this is

Afflatus:

meaningless

The Gray One:

cold

Carrie:

lonely

Afflatus:

there will only be

The Gray One:

us. Even the ones
we create will just be

Carrie:

us

Afflatus:

surrounded by us

The Gray One:

nothing but gray.

Afflatus:

perhaps we should stop

The Gray One:

we can’t. It’s too late.
We’ve killed so many.

Carrie:

we can stop now.
There is always

Afflatus:

a door. Not my favorite
metaphor. But it’s there

Carrie:

over there.

The Gray One:

over there.

J:

over there.

Carrie:

The field stretches out
from me and trees rise from
the edges. No sun. The air
is white and the grass is faint
green as if color is being
slowly washed away. I stand.
No signs of war. Or life.

And there is the door. But
as I am about to grab the handle–

“Carrie.” I turn around and see
Neil. “Are you sure about this?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you open that door
then that’s it. It’s over.”

“Over?”

“Yes. You die. The Gray One.
Afflatus. J. And me. We are all
gone. Do you know what death
is like, Carrie? I know you were
in a coma, but it’s nothing
like that. There are no memories.
It would be like you never
existed. You will forget all
of this. And yourself. You will
be nothing.”

“I think I know what death is.”

“But what about Darren.
He needs you.”

“No he doesn’t. He will be fine.”

“Okay. But if you don’t
go through that door, you can
go on with Afflatus and The Gray One
and become Gods. Real Gods.
And you can destroy The Ancient One.
And make the world as it should be.
And you can walk it with me
and we can have the lives we were
meant to have. No war. No religion.
No fear…please?”

“But you’re not real, Neil.”

And I open the

---

Written for the A-Z Challenge.

Darren:

We move deeper and deeper into the city trying to avoid as many checkpoints as possible. Finally, I see a familiar place. The bar where Axel once tried taking me to play some card games organized by Nemus. “Wait,” I ask Carrie, “are you sure this is the place?” She nods. We cross the street and head down the alleyway towards the side door, the door I couldn’t step through weeks ago.

A man emerges from the dark and greets Carrie with a smile. “Carrie,” he says, “it’s crazy to finally meet you in-person. I was so excited when you started streaming again. But then you stopped. Why?”

“I just needed some rest.”

“Wait,” I say, “are you Nemus?”

“Nah man. I’m Flip and who are you?”

“He’s—”

“I’m Darren. Carrie’s boyfriend.”

“Wait, you have a boyfriend? I should have known…” His eyes lower.

“Can you still help me?”

“What? Yeah, of course. I’ll lead you to the big man himself, Nemus.” He leads us to the door. “Oh, and did you see the update they made to Call of Freedom? It’s insane. They beefed up the zombies to an absurd degree.”

Flip takes us through the door, down some stairs and we pass through a poorly lit backroom where some older guys are playing cards. I guess martial law and the possible end of Enzoberg weren’t enough to deter their degenerate gambling addictions. Flip opens another door leading into an office. There is Nemus behind a desk, his eyes fixed to a monitor.

“Sir, this is the streamer I was talking about. And her boyfriend, I guess. They’re the ones I told you about.”

“Yes,” Nemus says, “they’re hoping to get out of Enzoberg. Like so many. You can leave us.”

Flip leaves and the door closes behind us. The old man sighs and motions us to a couple of chairs. “Sit. Let’s go ahead and discuss business. Like I said, plenty of folks itching to leave. Can’t say I blame them or you. But it’s not going to be easy. I still have some friends in the military but there have been some recent events that…sorry, have we met?”

“Um, me?” I ask Nemus.

“You look awfully familiar.”

“Uh. I don’t know. But you know my friend, Axel.”

“Axel, oh right. He was in debt to me. Played a good hand. Then played a couple ones.”

“Well, he’s on the run because of you. I don’t even know if he’s alive. All because you got him involved in that assassination.”

Nemus nods. “And he chickened out. Well, it’s alright. We just needed his van. But it’s alright, I got him out of Enzoberg never to return.”

“So you can get us out,” Carrie asks.

“Wait, he’s alive?”

“He might be. And as for you, miss, I can try, but it’ll cost you. Flip said you were good for it.”

“I…I don’t have any money.”

Nemus squints his eyes. “Well, what was the plan here? Were you going to play a few rounds of cards against me? Make a deal? That could be fun but I’m a little preoccupied at the moment. And I suppose your boyfriend here doesn’t have anything either.”

I shake my head.

“Hm. Well, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to find another way to—”

“I can stop it,” Carrie says, “whatever is coming this way.”

Nemus scoffs. “That’s funny. The news keeps saying that the ‘anomaly’ isn’t real. And if it is, it’s not heading this way.”

“It’s real. We’ve all seen the footage. And we all know it’s coming towards us. But I know what it is. I think it’s an old one. And it’s angry at the gods.”

“Oh really?”

“And it wants to create as much destruction as possible, so much that it ascends into godhood.”

Nemus nods. “Well, that’s an intriguing theory. Sort of reminds me when I was enlisted in a military campaign years ago. We were passing through one of the independent zones where we came across a group of people called the Xian. Heard of them? No, not many people have. But they claimed to be descendants of the old ones. That’s right. At first none of us believed them, but there was something in their eyes, something ancient. They’re weren’t old ones, or gods, but they weren’t quite like us either, like you or I. They claimed to be living on this scrap of land for centuries. They seemed to be a proud people but proud of what I’m not sure. Like I said, they weren’t old ones, they weren’t quite mortals, and they certainly weren’t gods.”

He leans and peers into Carrie’s eyes, “there’s something ancient in your eyes. Perhaps you have some old blood in you. But when we tore through their village and burned their land, they hardly put up a fight. Even if you have some sort of connection to this anomaly, what makes you think you can stop it? The old ones weren’t so different from us. They were capable of great destruction and there was little to stop their desires, that is until the Gods emerged. And you’re not a God.”

“…You…you were the one who destroyed my village–his village…and you’re willing to let The Gray One destroy us all. Why would you—”

“Enzoberg won’t be destroyed. You can’t destroy Enzoberg. Just as long as there is one black soul squirming about, Enzoberg lives. But at least this thing can teach us a lesson, make us pay.”

“For its crimes? Crimes you participated in,” Carrie shoots back.

“Yes. I am Enzoberg just as you and he and Flip are. And we must pay for our crimes if we hope to have any sort of redemption.” Nemus leans back in his chair. “If we hope…”

“Why did you kill them?”

“Does it matter?”

“They were good people. They just wanted to be left alone. They did nothing to you or Enzoberg. They were a threat to nobody.”

“You don’t think I regret it? Their faces, their voices–they haven’t left me. They walk alongside me. But they were old ones, or the descendants of old ones, and, therefore, a threat. At least that was the reason. We always have a reason. And just as long as you have a reason, you can do anything.”

“Or not do anything. Please, get us out of Enzoberg. I…I forgive you.”

Nemus shakes his head. “I don’t need forgiveness. It’s weakness. But I’m sure you will find your way out somehow. Now go.”

We leave. Flip escorts us out into the night. “Sorry that it didn’t work out. My boss is all business, you know? So when’s your next stream? Assuming that all this blows over?”

But Carrie walks down the alleyway and towards the street. “Carrie, wait,” I call after her. I grab her shoulders. “What was all that? What village? You were never from a village, right? You’re not a Xian or whatever they’re called?”

“Whatever they’re called?”

“You know what I mean. The coma gave you some weird ideas but it’s okay. Let’s go home. Or, you know, dad’s place. And you know, maybe the anomaly won’t head this way. Maybe the Gods will come and—”

“They won’t,” she says blankly. “This is it, Darren, unless we find a way out.”

“But there is no way. Carrie, this has gone too far. I can’t lose you again.” I hug her tight and she mumbles something. “What was that.” She breaks from me and starts running, and I go chasing.

She bolts across the street, a car just missing her. I run after her. Running. But soon I lose her. “Carrie! CARRIE!” I motion to a nearby soldier.

“What?”

“I’m looking for my girlfriend. Please, she just got out of a coma and she’s unwell. Please!”

“Sir, I’m not a dog wrangler. And it’s almost past curfew so I suggest you go inside somewhere.”

“But—”

“Go! Get!”

“But—” The soldier shoves me and I slam into the concrete.

…

I return to my father’s home. “I’m making pasta,” he says from the kitchen. I head into the bathroom and assess my wounds. Just a couple of scrapes and a bruise already growing on my side. I then call the police about Carrie; they tell me they will be on the lookout for her, but it’s clear that she’s not a priority at this time.

“What happened to you? Where’s Carrie?”

“She’s trying to get out of Enzoberg.”

“You’re kidding. There’s no way.”

No, there isn’t. But there is only so much I can do for Carrie or for Axel or for Neil. Maybe that’s okay. Maybe that’s the lesson here: I should just let them go.

“The Anomaly seems to be moving a little bit quicker now,” a news anchorman says, “but the Premier has assured the people that it’s not headed towards us. As you can see here from this chart, directionally there are many places that the Anomaly might be headed towards. Now, some scientists note that the Anomaly appears to be moving in a straight line towards us. However, no one can say for certain where it will go next. Now onto our next segment: birth control.”

“See,” my father says, “it’s just a big nothing-burger. But once this is all over, Cremston will pay…What’s the matter? Carrie will come back. She’s a smart girl.”

A couple hours pass. Dad is asleep and I’m still on the couch, the TV on anything other than the news. The phone rings and I pick it up.

“Darren?”

“Carrie? Where are you?”

“I don’t have a lot of time but Nemus is getting me out after all.”

“What? How?”

“He was able to pull some strings. But I guess he had a change of heart. At least that’s what it sounds like from Flip. But I just wanted to let you know—”

“Carrie—”

“I’m leaving, and I may never come back. This…might be it. But it’s okay. I have to do this.”

“Carrie, where are you? I can get you.”

“I’m at a payphone. I have to go soon Darren, so listen, please.”

“Carrie—”

“I love you. But I have to do this. It’ll be okay. Even if it’s not. It’ll be okay. You were so good to me and…I will always be thankful to you. I’m so glad that you were in my life. Thank you. Goodbye Darren.”

“…Goodbye Carrie.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The phone is quiet. I hold it in my hand for a few moments before placing it back on the receiver. I stand over the counter and see a piece of my reflection on the metal surface of the microwave.

---

Written for the A-Z Challenge.

Darren:

“Everything is fine,” says the Premier on the screen, “this isn’t a sign from the Gods nor is it a new type of weapon unleashed by Cremston—it is simply a type of ploy by Cremston to get us to panic and to try to direct our forces in the wrong direction, but we won’t fall for such cheap tactics. We are the great nation-state of Enzoberg. It’s as simple as that.”

“You know thank the gods we have an actual wartime Premier leading us this time,” says my father. Down below I see the soldiers on the streets and a couple of checkpoints. The roads leading outside Enzoberg are still shut-off. And the anomaly still moves slowly over the countryside, inching closer and closer to our doors.

“That’s what Cremston wants us to do, they want us to freak out. Heh. You have to give them credit. You know, before your brother enlisted he wrote an essay about Cremston’s false flag operations. You remember the one, right? It won a few awards. Yeah…he could have gone into defense technology or something, but he wanted to be on the front lines.” He shakes his head.

“I’m going for a walk,” Carrie announces as she heads towards the door.

“A walk? Are you sure that’s—”

“I’ll be fine,” she cuts me off with a smile and then heads out.

“You know, you should marry that one.”

“I should go with her?”

“Why? Ever since she woke up you’ve been on her. She’ll be fine. She just needs some space.”

“But what if something happens to her?”

“Nothing will happen. If anything, crime’s gone down now that we’ve got some proper military presence here.”

But this did not persuade me. I grabbed my jacket and headed out. Outside, I spotted her and hurried to catch up. “Where are you going?”

“I needed to go for a walk.”

“Are you sure that’s wise with your condition?”

“My condition?”

“And everything going on,” I motion towards a group of soldiers standing on one of the street corners. But she just keeps walking. “Let me at least walk with you.”

“I’m not stopping you, but you won’t like where I’m going.”

“What?” But instead of answering she marches on. “What do you mean? Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? Where? Enzoberg? No one can get out.”

“I know someone.”

“What? Who? Carrie!” I grab her. “Can you just answer me?”

She looks into my eyes. “I…there’s a voice. I can’t explain it but something tells me to go to the Anomaly.”

“The Anomaly? Are you crazy?”

“Something tells me I can stop it. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to—”

“This is nuts. Carrie, ever since the coma your mind has been confused. You’re not yourself.”

“You’re right. I’m not myself. I keep having visions of a life that wasn’t mine. And I keep seeing a woman. Her face is gray and…No, I…I’m meeting with him. I have to—”

“Who?”

“He is used to be one of my followers when I streamed. And he knows someone who can get me out.”

“Carrie, let’s go back and talk about—”

“What’s going on here,” a soldier in military fatigues and with a rifle approaches us. “There’s a curfew so I advise you to get to where you need to go soon.”

“Right, of course. Carrie, come let’s—”

“No. Darren.”

“Is he bothering you,” the soldier steps closer.

“No, sir,” Carrie says. She looks at me. “You can come with me or not. It’s okay if you don’t.” And she turns away. And I follow.

The Old Narrator:

I return to the painting
and its dimming land.
Every time I look upon
the brushstrokes, something
new occurs before me.
I sit and allow myself
to turn numb against its
colors. Soon, I hear
footsteps. The Ancient One,
the God among gods, sits
next me. “It’s been awhile,”
he says, “since I’ve seen this
painting.”

“It’s been here,” I say,
“and will be for quite some time.”

“I need your advice,”
the Ancient One says.

“Oh? How novel.”

He stands and moves closer
to the painting. “Afflatus
managed to escape here.”

“Hm. I guess it was a matter
of time. How’d he do it?”

“He devoured The Gray One.
And now they’re one entity
devouring the mortal plane
above.”

“Alright. And the Gods…”

“I have forbidden them
to do anything.”

“Wait,” I stand. “You’re
just going to let the mortals
be destroyed? Consumed?”

“It’s the ultimate test:
to see if the Gods will act
against my wishes.”

“You and your tests.
Many lives will be destroyed.
Even the Gods—”

“Why do you care,” he turns
to me. “You’re a tale-weaver,
an entity that’s seen billions
upon billions of lives lost.
Do you mourn every drop
of rain?”

“This is senseless.”

“Then again…yes, I should
tell you.”

“What?”

“You haven’t been around
since the beginning of beginnings.”

“Excuse me?”

“You haven’t been around
for an eternity. You’re quite
the recent creation, actually.”

“But, I remember the Old Ones,
and the Big Bang, and the universes
before and—”

“These are all memories I have
given you. They’re not your own.
They’re actually mine. I guess,
in a strange way, to study myself.
And to be a little less alone. But,
we ended-up being quite different.
An interesting outcome.”

I know what the Ancient One says
to be true. My bones scream. My mind
rages. But I accept this. “I guess,”
I say, “I have to ask why.”

The Ancient One nods. “You know
why. To understand what makes
the universe move. To understand
its machinery. And perhaps in my studies
I can finally understand myself
and what I am. And why. Why
I exist. Always the why. I can’t
escape it. Ever since I was borne
out of nothing and watched
the first particles move.”

A silence. I sit back down.
“Well,” I say, “you wanted
my advice?”

“You’ve accepted this well.”

“There’s little else I can do.”

“I’m sorry I did this to you.”

“Are you? I imagine you’ve done
this before and will continue
to do so. Because you and I know
you will never find an answer.
You were borne out of nothing
because you were borne out of
nothing. There is no why. No reason.
Senseless. Another drop of rain.”

The Ancient One looks down
at his shoes then back up at me.
“Now, the reason I’m here.”

“Go ahead.”

“Should I continue the trials
of Darren Baxter?”

“That’s not why you’re here.”

The Ancient One scratches his head.
“You’re right,” he smiles. “After all
these years, I still get fooled by myself
sometimes. Well, I—”

“I’m sorry. But would you mind
leaving me alone, unless you want
to admire this painting in silence.”

The Ancient One sits next to me.
And there’s the painting.
And once again, something different
is revealed to both of us.

---

Written for the A-Z Challenge.

Darren:

Another lobbyist shot, and now a scientist. It’s all Nemus, but they’re blaming Cremston. I guess that’s what Nemus wants, to escalate things further. Not sure why. Were the past few decades of bloodshed not enough?

Right now Carrie and I are living with my Dad in his house. He’s sympathetic but he still doesn’t understand why I haven’t been able to find a job. He also doesn’t understand Carrie’s change in personality. He’s an old man; you can tell him something a thousand times but he can never accept a younger person’s words. He’s stuck in his own reality.

I don’t think he realizes how things have already collapsed. Inflation, the war, the murders, the mass unemployment. We all just move around the day with our eyes closed. I think I’m starting to understand why Carrie wants to move to the countryside, but there’s no housing, at least not anything affordable. Maybe we can take a chance and find a village in one of the unoccupied territories. A part of me doesn’t want to leave, but I have to accept the fact that Enzoberg isn’t my home anymore. The streets, the buildings, the trees—all seem distant.

Maybe it started further back when Neil died. Everyone called him a hero and so did I, but a deep part of me didn’t understand it; maybe calling him a hero was the only way I could accept his death, but his death was meaningless. The state just threw him onto a muddy field like they did so many, and for what?

…

My father is losing his patience with us. He just doesn’t get it. It’s fine though—we’re going to finally get out of here and find some place in the country. We have no money but it’s better than being here. And maybe it will help Carrie.

…

We were about to leave, but something arose from the ocean. It’s hard to explain; everyone else seems unable to explain it as well other than a possible sign from the Gods, or a new type of super weapon. All we know is something large and gray and amorphous came out of the sea and is floating across the land, absorbing anything that is within its pull. And it seems to be slowly headed this way.

People are trying desperately to escape, but Enzoberg is on lock-down; the roads are closed; soldiers march the streets. Carrie has been watching the strange shape on her phone, transfixed. My father says it’s the gods. “Yep,” he says, “the Gods seem displeased with us, but all you can do is your best.” I don’t know how he manages to have such a lackadaisical attitude.

Perhaps it is The Gray One that the “tale-weaver” had told me about, the entity that had put Carrie in a coma. I don’t know…but whatever it is, we need to get out of here.

Simon:

I rush over to Darren’s apartment–
wait, would the Gods see me?
No, they don’t care about him
anymore. And they do not expect
me to be free. In case, I find a hat
and glasses. A true master
of subterfuge.

However, when I reach his apartment
it is empty. I discover he is gone,
finally evicted from his home. I go
to the hospital where Carrie had laid;
turns out she had awaken not too long
ago and went with Darren. A strange
melancholy lingers as I sit in one
of the white hallways. A feeling tells
me that they will be okay. The Gods
are out of their lives it seems. And I am
as well.

Soon, I find myself wandering
into the Diamond Hills, were many
of Enzoberg’s big-shots dwell. Where
I used to go to parties. And soon,
I am standing in front of the home
Easton Wilshine, my former agent
who initiated my downfall.

It is starting to get dark as I float
pass the cameras and up to the 2nd floor
balcony, and slide through the glass.
The bedroom is empty. I walk down
the hall and see his office door open.

“Margo, are you there?” I hear his voice.
I don’t answer and slowly step forth.
And there he is at his desk and here
I am at the threshold. He stares at me.
“What the fuck? Simon? No, you’re…
I’ve finally gone mad.”

“No, you’re just going bald.”

He bolts up. “I—how–I–” he scrambles
for the gun in his desk drawer then
points it at me. “You’re dead. You–
I saw you lower your body. I mean them.”

“You did,” I step closer.

“DON’T! This can’t be right.
You’re a twin. Or you’re using
an AI mask, or—”

“Easton, this isn’t one of my novels.”

The gun shakes in his hand.

“You can shoot me. I won’t feel it.
You’ve already killed me.”

“I…I didn’t kill you!”

“No, you just tied the noose.
You fed me to the wolves in order
to save your own skin. You bastard.”

“I…I know. I’m sorry. But they were
going to ruin my life! I didn’t think
things would get this bad!”

“They tossed me in a cell. A little
windowless room. And when I contracted
plague, they let me die. Now,
I don’t feel anything at all. But maybe,
if you pull that trigger, something
might come back to me. A little bit
of life.”

Instead, he sets the gun on his desk
and sits. His face now in his hands.

“Are we hiding now?”

He sobs.

“I’ve lost it.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I can’t believe this is—” his eyes
back up at me. Red. Wet. I reach over
and snatch his gun away.

“I never took you for a gunslinger.”
I toss it out the window and it disappears
in the growing shadow of the day.

“Well, hopefully it was worth it.
Did you at least get something decent
published? I should be madder at you.
I don’t know why. I guess it’s because
you were just doing what is expected
just like how the state was doing
what was expected of it when it black-
mailed you. Everything and everyone
filling their roles. Maybe it will all
be different. Maybe it will take
Enzoberg and Cremston to finally
nuke each other into glass for a new world
to crawl from underneath. But then
there are the Gods…not sure what
can be done about them.” I sigh
and see that Easton is still bewildered,
eyes widening at me. I give him a kiss
and leave him and walk through
the neighborhood of Diamond Hills
as the night thickens above the trees.

---

Written for the A-Z Challenge.

The Gray One:

I should have just taken over
her body. I believed it would have been wrong
to not allow her to make the choice
but she was incapable. Her mind
spiraled the same ideas over and over,
the same emotions, the same insecurities.
All mortals are the same. The Gods
are worse. Afflatus over there
mutters to himself, wasting his time
making food and cursing his brother,
Merrick. I remember when they were
mere mortals. They killed many
of our kind to attain our powers.
Now look at him. He’s imprisoned
just like me.

Us “old ones” weren’t that much
better but at least we respected
one another. We all lived together
harmoniously with the world,
with the universe. Despite
our abilities, we did not dare
try to suffocate the sky
or entrap the earth. We were
parts of the universe. But then
some of us were born without
abilities, the “mortals.” They
were weak but their greatest
weakness were their minds,
their souls sought to grasp
the world as if it were something
to be seized. They resented
us for being born different;
they couldn’t just accept
that they were merely lesser
parts of the universe. Even
the lone ant is still part
of the greater expanse, an extension
of all.

But Carrie shied away
from what I offered.
Maybe there is wisdom there
or foolishness. The mortals,
maybe we should have tried
to better understand them,
to understand their fragility,
their lack of ability. Perhaps,
we allowed them to become
this way. But it’s too late now.
I try to stretch against the tile
and plaster, but my edges slip
away, failing to grasp. I miss
having form, having hands,
having a face and legs. Perhaps,
this is how the Gods and mortals
are teaching me how it is to be
powerless. It is working.

Afflatus:

What if I threw things
at The Gray One? Would it
grow and tear a hole through
this prison? Can it overtake
the void? Why did we decide
to remove her form? Sure,
she deserved it for her arrogance,
but now she/it is useless to me.
And where’s What’s-His-Face?
He scampered off, probably
disappeared into the void,
or is trying to look for the old
narrator. Good luck. He knows
nothing of this place. He may
be a ghost, but his mind is still
mortal. This place will stretch
his little mind asunder.
Will I miss someone
to talk to? Nay. I won’t
miss him.

I’m not
getting out of here
it seems. No,
I cannot think this.
I cannot allow
Merrick, to win.
Where did we go
awry? Nay, it was always
destiny to be at each other’s
throats. It seemed like
he was born to keep me
in check. Well, he finally
won. Won over the chaos.
But he has no purpose.
Soon he will have
no choice but to free
me. It would be a mistake
if he did.

Simon:

Was it this way? Or that way?
Now I’m seeing more abstract
things. Misshapes. Dark, muted
colors, sculptures appearing to be
broken bodies or machines. This
was a mistake. But I need to get
out. The old narrator is the only way
I think. Deep-down, he is more
powerful than the gods.

“You’ve come to see me?”
A voice descends the stairs
over there. “You were the one
who replaced me, right?”

“Yes, but I could never
replace you. I mean, I did OK.
But I was a hack when I was—”

He raises his hand and I am
silenced. “Come up this way.”
Up the concrete steps he goes
and so I follow.

Up here, stars and galaxies,
plumes of cosmic glow.
“This is some art gallery,”
I blurt out. When I’m nervous
I try to be funny.

“The gods don’t know
about this space I’ve placed
here.”

“Aren’t you a god as well?
Or an old one? Or…”

“To be honest, I don’t know
what I am. I’ve always existed
and seen various universes
and races occupy those universes.
Maybe I’m simply another part
of existence, like gravity
or mass.”

“But that means you can leave,
right?”

“Oh, I don’t think I can leave.”

“No, I mean leave this prison.
Like this literal prison, not
the universe itself.”

“Right. Of course. Unfortunately
I have power, but I’m not
as powerful as the gods.
I’m merely an observer. I don’t
act or influence.”

“Okay, but you said you built
this…space. Can you make a door
and could that door lead us
out of here?”

“That’s a better idea than letting
the Gray One absorb me.”

“So you can do it?”

“No. You will have to find
your own way out. Or you can
wait a little while. And take
a look at the stars here.
Or the works of art below.
When you were alive you had
no time to gaze upon it all.
Now you have a near-eternity
before this universe begins
to deteriorate.”

“Deteriorate?”

“Yes. Each universe eventually
falls apart and turns into chaos.
No planets. No stars. No space.
No mass. No light. No time.
Just atomic noise. But then
amid the noise, two particles
collide and mass finds itself
again. And a new universe
ignites itself.”

“That…is not ideal for me.”

We stand for a moment
surrounded by the blackness
of space and the echoes
of stars.

“But there must be someway
you can help me. Maybe
just point me in the right
direction.”

“If I do that then what
would you do? You would be
in the ocean. And the gods
will surely spot you
and summon you back here.
Or even destroy you.”

I start to feel sick. I bend down
and grab at my face and head.
“I shouldn’t have spoken
to Afflatus. I shouldn’t have
spoken to Darren. I was a bad
narrator.”

“Hm. I was a decent narrator
and look where I am. The gods
don’t care whether you are good
or bad, just whether you’re useful
in the moment. Everything is
power. Utility. They can’t stop
and look at a painting or a canyon
or a blade of grass.”

“Where do I go? This is Hell!
This is Hell! I’m stuck here
for eternity! Until it all dies!
I wasted my life! I wasted
everything! I fucking wasted
it all!”

I feel the old man’s hand
on my shoulder. It is small
and frail and human-like
and my voice rolls back
into my throat.
“Let me show you something.”
He takes me to another part
of the universe and reveals
to me a faint dot hovering
over there. “Look closer.”
I do. It’s Earth. I see the oceans
and the land and the clouds.
“Look closer.” I see
mountains and canyons
and forests and trees.
I then see Enzoberg.
“Closer.” The tops of buildings.
Cars. My feet on concrete.
I look around. People walk
around me. The sky is blue.
I feel the wind sweep
against my skin. Is this
an illusion? Am I really
back?

Will the Gods notice
that I’m now free?
I don’t know. But I am
free, I think. The old man
did it. Did he feel bad
for me? I run through
the throngs of faces
and catch myself
in a reflection. I touch
my face. I don’t know
if I’m alive. But I’m here.
That’s enough for now.

---

Written for the A-Z Challenge.

Darren:

I think the Gods are done with me. At least I hope they are. I haven’t seen Afflatus nor Simon. There haven’t been any black birds; even my annoying neighbor is gone.

And Carrie is awake. She doesn’t remember The Gray One or the “Anomaly” that was in our kitchen, or the black birds. She doesn’t recall what she was dreaming of for all those weeks, but her memory seems to be mostly intact.

It’s great that she’s finally awake!…But she’s different. Not that different, but distant. The doctors had mentioned that personality changes are common, but she no longer streams and hardly plays games. It’s as if something I had ripped the personality out of her. Right now she’s looking out across our balcony, eyes dull against the light of the city. Earlier today, I asked her what was on her mind and she actually answered: the country. That’s all she said. Plainly. As if making a simple observation. I had never heard ever mention the countryside. And before I thought I had trouble reaching out to her.

I don’t know where Axel had gone. A defense contractor and his wife had been killed outside their home the day Axel came here in a panic. The news attributed the assassination to Cremston, of course, but I’m sure they’re after Axel and Nemus. I hope they haven’t found him…but I’m guessing they have.

I’m powerless. Powerless to help Carrie. To help Axel. I’ve been thinking about my brother and how he would handle all this. But my guess is that he wouldn’t been in this situation in the first place. He would be married with 2 kids nestled in the suburbs.

Maybe I failed the trials. Perhaps the Gods gave me an opportunity and I had squandered it. I was too small and cowardly. I shouldn’t have left the hospital room. I should have entered Carrie’s mind. I look over at Carrie. There’s nothing in her eyes. And nothing in mine.

Carrie:

I keep thinking about them
and how they disappeared
into screaming and smoke.
And the face of the tank
emerging from the fog
and the hill no longer lush
but gray. I don’t know
where this vision is coming
from; this memory isn’t
my own.

Ever since waking up
nothing feels right.
My body doesn’t feel
like mine; and my life
before seems like
a movie. And these
buildings and streets
crowding this window
seem grafted on
from another time.
There’s something
behind them. Something
real. A vast and green
memory that drops
into a valley filled
with trees.

I have dreams about
Neil, but his face now
seems hollow and dirty
and mindless, as if he is
every soldier, every war
mindlessly fighting,
tearing through the grass.
How could I have loved
him, or anyone?

Another face comes to me
when I close my eyes,
when I gaze at the crowds,
when I pass a reflection.
Another face. I can almost
recognize.

Axel:

This is it. I bungled it. Mom was right…by the Gods I hope she’s okay. Nah, she’s probably having a conniption. She’s talking to the police now and making this whole situation about her self. But she now longer has to worry, I’m many miles away. I managed to get smuggled out of Enzoberg. Now I’m plastered in a small room in one of the free-states, dreaming of the coast. Yeah, that’s where I’m going, I guess. Seems nice though, to be by the vast water. Though the smell’s making me queasy. I’ll feel better tomorrow. Maybe I’ll find a good woman in one of the fishing villages. The wife of a dead sailor. I can take his place and take good care of her. That’s all I need is someone to take care of. I’ve been too wild, too free to gamble and drive around and get pulled into other’s schemes. Nemus, don’t know what he’s planning but kudos to him, I guess. Hope he tears down Enzoberg. It’ll be good for everyone if Enzoberg falls into pieces. That’s what it needs. A nation-state can get too old, too stagnant. I don’t know. I’m not a political philosopher. Just a drunken loser in some room in one of the free-states. Maybe I should change my name. Would it be weird if I took Darren’s? Nah, I don’t want him get more mixed up than this he probably is. By the Gods, he’s probably being questioned by the police now. Man, I really bungled this. Mom was right…Mom was right…She doesn’t have to worry about me anymore. Nor does Darren, or anyone. I’m going to be by the sea away from everything including myself. Maybe I’ll get there by tomorrow. Can’t wait. But I’m gonna need some more cash. Well, that’s a problem for tomorrow. For tomorrow…tomorrow…sorry Mom…tomorrow will be different…

---

Written for the A-Z Challenge.