Here are some funny jokes that have children and all ages involved
in them. They will hopefully bring you a chuckle and some cheerful
thoughts to get you through the rest of the week. These came from
Pookie, my Mom’s good friend in California. Mom circled a few of
the jokes on the pages and added her own wording. I trust her
editing and typed them pretty closely to how she had these.
These are story ‘jokes’ where it may actually sound like they are
written by me, but they are not. I think it is fun to insert myself or
people I know into them.
1. The Facts of Life:
“On the way home from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson
innocently said to my daughter,
“Mommy, I know babies come from tummies, but how do they get
there in the first place?”
My daughter tried to change the subject, not quite ready to ‘break
the birds and the bees’ speech’ out at such a late hour with her 10
year old and 5 year old listening in rapt silence.
When she had ‘hemmed and hawed’ awhile, my grandson said in an
exasperated tone,
“Mom, it’s okay if you don’t know the answer, just tell me so!”
2. A Military Story:
“Just before my friend’s son was deployed to Iraq, he sat his 8 year
old son (her grandson) down and broke the news to him, as gently
as possible, under the circumstances,
“Jimmy, I am going to be away for a long time but will keep in touch
with you, as much as possible.”
His son asked him, looking worried,
“Where are you going?”
Suddenly the friend’s son thought, ‘Oh no, I must not make him
worry,
Maybe he thinks I am dying… After all, just a few months’ ago, his
uncle had passed away…
“Jimmy, I am going to a far off country called, Iraq.”
Jimmy looked at his father like he was crazy and said,
“Don’t you know there’s a war going on over there, Dad?”
3. Famous People Story, Kid’s Perspective:
“One afternoon a few years ago, Paul Newman was visiting the “Hole
in the Wall Gang Camp” for children stricken with cancer, AIDs and
blood diseases.
When a camp counselor spotted the actor with his wife, Joanne
Woodward, he pointed the couple out to his table of children,
‘That is the man who made movies and is a famous movie star
with his beautiful wife. Have you ever noticed or seen his picture
on salad dressing bottles?’
The kids all gave the camp counselor ‘blank stares.’
He tried once again to let them know about the importance to this
camp Paul Newman and his wife’s philanthropic project meant to
the kids,
“This couple came up with the idea for this camp so you could come
and enjoy the outdoors. Have you ever seen his face on any lemonade
cartons?”
Finally, a little eight year old girl perked up,
“How long was he missing?”
4. God’s Problem Now:
“A man was at his wife’s graveside service, talking and thanking
people for coming to the funeral, despite it being such a stormy day.
He was speaking to the minister who had been so supportive to him
and his family.
All of a sudden, a massive clap of thunder rang through the gray clouds,
followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning.
This was followed by even more rumbling thunder in the distance.
The elderly man looked at his pastor, calmly saying,
“Well, we know she made it!”
5. An “Aw-w-w!” Moment:
“I was waiting in the reception area of my doctor’s office, when a
woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the outer room.
As she went to check the elderly man in, over at the receptionist’s
desk, the man sat there alone and silent. His head was down, either
sleepy from his drive there or not feeling well.
Just as I was thinking about making small talk, hoping to brighten
his day, a little boy across the room slipped off his Mommy’s lap.
He walked timidly over to the older gentleman and placed his hand
over the top of the man’s.
He looked directly at the man and said,
“I know how you feel. My Mommy makes me ride in a stroller, too.”
6. Last one, hope this makes you smile. . .
“A group of us were chatting, while my oldest daughter was nursing
her son, (my grandson), Micah.
A 3 1/2 year old cousin, my son’s youngest daughter, went over to
my daughter…
She was quite curious and started asking questions,
‘What ‘cha doing?’
Carrie said, ‘I am feeding your baby cousin, Micah.’
‘What’s it taste like?’
Carrie responded, ‘Like milk. Like the stuff your Mommy puts in
your bedtime bottle.’
(She was still getting a bedtime bottle, soon to be a sippy cup instead.)
She was intrigued by the whole process, waiting to watch Carrie burp
Micah. When Carrie tucked herself back into her nursing bra, the last
comment ‘brought the house down,’ of the family gathering of adults
and children bursting into huge laughs,
‘My Mommy has two of those, but I don’t think she knows
how to use them.'”
My real family news, all joking aside:
Today, Lara is singing at Willis Middle School with the Chorus
singers. I am excited to be going to my first grandchild’s Middle
School program. I hope they will sing holiday songs. I will let you
know tomorrow. (12/17/14)
Tomorrow, in the later evening, Skyler, Micah and my oldest girl,
will do our annual tradition of seeing the lights at Alum Creek State
Park, which used to have just the “Twelve Days of Christmas,” now
has many wonderful displays. This display has gradually expanded
each year since my own three children, my parents and I would take
them. My parents had a Trans Van, which was a great way for the
kids to have a snack, their pajamas on, and get to see both sides of
the presentations. While you drive, you can tune into a local radio
channel that has the songs that go with the displays.
Dad was a ‘big kid at heart’ and loved listening to my children exclaim
in excited voices, “oooh!” and “aahh!” We would also enjoy going to
see Santa Claus across the street at Cross Creek Camp Ground. My
parents liked to sometimes stay there in the summer in the guest lots.
This probably excites me even more than the grandkids and my oldest
daughter. I pay for the ‘treat’ which goes to a worthy cause. They
are happy and do pipe up with their own little exclamations, like their
Mom did, when she was a girl.
What is your favorite family tradition?
Do you like to go out in your vehicle and look at Christmas lights
and decorations? Is there a special neighborhood that you like to
so see annually?
witlessdatingafterfifty 