empathy – willowdot21

Helping Eachother.

On Friday I joined in on a prompt: dVerse
poetics hosted by Punam this week. The guidelines were to write about grief in general or personally. If we were prepared to share, you could write about healing, dealing with loss or the general state of our world that brings grief to you”
I wrote about the three babies I lost in the early 1970s when you didn’t grieve or even mention having miscarriages. (You can read it here) I got so many replies from bloggers who had similar experiences some so very close to mine. Some worse and some better but all so very painful.
I truly hope that opening my heart here on my blog has helped people. I have found so much solace and love from other bloggers. Every single comment I have received is from the heart and worth reading. If you have time please see what everyone has had to say.
Here are two of the beautiful and supportive replies I have received.

From Ginger .
I am so deeply sorry for your loss Willow, not once but three times. I understand completely how you feel. We were expecting our first child in 1963. He was born, full term, and died three minutes later. I never got to hold him or even see him or kiss him and tell him how much I loved him. Never allowed to name him either.
My dad, thinking he was being helpful, had our son buried immediately and no one would ever tell me where.
Like you, I spent years feeling guilty that I must have done something wrong, even though doctors insisted I didn’t. He would be 61 now. Married? Children? Who would he look like? Would he have grown into a fine man? Just questions, no answers.
BUT we have two beautiful adopted daughters who are the love of my life. They are my rainbows after a terrible storm.
I don’t know about you Willow, but I felt shunned. Didn’t receive so much as one card or phone call from family or friends. I know people don’t know what to say, but seriously?
Everything was swept under the carpet which reinforced that somehow I was guilty of something. No one to talk to, not even my ob/gyn. I was assured I would get pregnant again right away. Well, that never happened. Couldn’t even talk to my husband, he didn’t want to know how I felt.
I’m glad these tragedies can be shared today and women don’t have to endure their grief alone. Any woman who has had a miscarriage or lost a baby at birth needs support, not to be made to feel like a freak of nature.
You are not alone Willow. I hesitated if I really wanted to put this out there. Then I decided to join forces with you in the hope that our experience may help someone else get through a similar tragedy.
Yes, we know grief up close and personal.

And from Nancy
My dear friend Willow. How my heart cries for you, not in sympathy but in empathy for I know exactly what you went through, how you felt, how you hurt, how you cried, how you died inside. You’re right; miscarriage was something we didn’t broadcast back then. Get over it and move on. My doctor was just like yours, telling me to think of the babies I lost as bad apples that fell from the tree. It was a good thing; that’s how nature cares for those unable to survive in the world. But still, it hurts like hell. The doctor also told me researchers believe that some women can carry both boys and girls successfully, some can only carry boys, some can only carry girls and some cannot carry any. I don’t know if I believe that or not, but if it’s true my 3 misses were all baby girls since we were blessed with only sons, just like you. I make myself feel better by saying if all this didn’t happen then the course of events would have been altered and I would not have the amazing sons I have today. It’s one of those sad mysteries of life. Bless you, my friend.

If you have suffered in this way please know you are not alone and you are not to blame. .

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 13, 2024

Linda’s email arrived and she said :”Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: ends with “ound.” Find a word (or words) that ends with “ound” and use it any way you’d like. Have fun!“

So I was out on Thursday and this is what I found .

Sir Antony Gormley’s sculpture entitled “Sound II” has stood in the Crypt below Winchester Cathedral since the late 1980s. During the rainy months, the mysterious sculpture can often be found holding water in its cupped hands, silent in contemplation as the water level rises around him in the winter months. I took this photo on Thursday this week and this is what it said to me.

Underground I hear the sound of history as it mingles with the living.
The constant footfall as people walk around in search of learning. It’s hard to work out which is which, the old the new the in-between. The noise of the workmen as they lay the groundwork for this building.
They were too rash and built too fast a tower built in fourteen years could never last!
I stand here spellbound listening to sound as it tumbles to the ground… How many died, the mistake compound , they have to build it again.
It still stands, this sturdier place where now the crypt I grace.
Pilgrims walked above as the Monks held their noses and tended to their roseries. Till the Henry’s men swept in changed the religion.
They pounded on the doors they murdered and stole the riches.
Later the roundheads came and defaced all they could touch, they rode their horses up the aisle and let their hounds run free.
I feel it all and wonder who was hellbound and who was heavenbound.
Too many thoughts my mind confound….
At night the history gets stronger I hear and see much more, sit with me a while and I will astound you.

THIS IS PART OF LINDAGHILL’S STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS SATURDAY.

Ronovan Writes #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge 335 CURL and Paw.

The Challenge Words!

CURL and Paw.

She knows how I feel
Her body curled round my feet
A paw touches me.

This is part of Ronovanwrite’s Weekly Haiku Challenge.

Addiction

I wrote this last year but something today made we want to share it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You can’t run from it nor can it be hidden from, it is a prowler and a taunter and stealer of your strength. It will suck from you until all your goodness is gone.

It lurks in corners and shadows and bides it’s time. It is vicious and evil, it sneaks up on you and springs out even when you feel fine.

http://saghbini.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/gothic-wallpaper-6-low-res.jpg?w=346&h=667

Always there, ever present, waiting for your weakest moments , the darkest hour of your night, the time when you are all alone and all your resolutions have taken flight.

Seething with hate it will consume you so absolutely . You think it is gone, abated, been subdued but no it has just been licking it’s wounds from the last time that you beat it.

The worst is, you have to watch it as it crawls into the ones you love and change them into monsters that will lie to you and steal from you cheat you to feed thier monster. It is all they care about this monster, they will get lower and lower until they hit and the ground .

What happens when there is nowhere to go , crawling along the depths of despair.What if they turn all against them and no helping hands are left. I cannot bare to watch that which came from me struggling against this evil monster trying so hard to be free!

Trying to be free from the hunger of monster that never stops , it is never sated it will suck you until you drop. Then all you can do is watch and the pain is a hundred fold for you are watching all this happening to the tiny baby you used to hold.

Though grown to a man this is still your baby and there is nothing to be done. God help the mother or father who has an addict for a daughter or a son.

Addiction

http://saghbiny.wordpress.com/

You can’t run from it nor can it be hidden from, it is a prowler and a taunter and stealer of your strength. It will suck from you until all your goodness is gone.

It lurks in corners and shadows and bides it’s time. It is vicious and evil, it sneaks up on you and springs out even when you feel fine.

Always there, ever present, waiting for your weakest moments , the darkest hour of your night, the time when you are all alone and all your resolutions have taken flight.

Seething with hate it will consume you so absolutely . You think it is gone, abated, been subdued but no it has just been licking it’s wounds from the last time that you beat it.

Though grown to a man this is still your baby and there is nothing to be done. God help the mother or father who has an addict for a daughter or a son.

The chance meeting.

I had no idea what he would say when at the checkout I stop to pass the time of day. How are you doing , good that’s okay and Ellen I heard she was unwell is she okay .

He told me, my friend , his dear wife had only a finger hold left on life.There was no hope they have been told. His fortitude and his daughters face made my blood run cold.

I could see the pained look on his daughters face, both of them trying not to cry I’d reach out but this was not the place. I could say nothing he had not heard before. I told him this, then a look of relief in his eyes I saw.

It would not have help for me to have laboured the point, or to have said any more. It was clear he knew how I felt, and he would of heard it all before.

They finished packing their shopping and as they left they promised to give her my love leaving me lost and bereft.

I hate Cancer it is so cruel it attacks anyone be they wise or a fool. It has no respect for those who are good and kind it tears up your body and it slaughters your mind. If I could kill it I really would it is wicked and bad and evil and does no one any bloody good.