Dang it!

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I took the same insulin amount I took yesterday, with a five higher blood sugar... 156 last night, 161 tonight.  And?  Blood sugar is 56 rather than 98, or 84, or whatever it was?  Bleh.  Which, also, means I have to eat something.  It won't be that storebought kefir.  That is going out.  But I could have a bit of the raw yogurt, and some fruit.

I did a second round of chores.  The food I left the tom, earlier, was uneaten.  Not tracks, in or out, earlier or this evening.  Yet, strangely, his food items, other than the bowl I put out today, were shredded?  It's actually difficult to kill a cat.  There was no blood, either.  But, something wild might be encroaching?  No... didn't see any tracks, of any kind, to or from.

There is a dog, two actually, who pass through from time to time.  Poorly fed, unleashed, and always considered a danger.  One of them is larger, large enough to take anything.  The other is smaller, a smaller collie.  Not as dangerous, but... even a medium sized dog can be a danger to animals.  I best not catch them on my property.  No other tracks, though.  And, none for a while.

I wonder if he is domestic, but gets out and doesn't get back in time to get let in?  The tom.  Well, maybe it will bring some peace to the owner, that he is fed and allowed, when stuck out on some night.  If he is black, or mostly black, you know who.  I put out warm food tonight.  If he eats it, I'll put out chicken tomorrow night.

I called my mother and brother tonight.  Talking with mother was good.  My brother has just too many things on his mind, in his hands.  He sounds miserable.  Though, with him, perhaps, it is better to have too many things to do than nothing.  Misery comes in many flavors, but being needed is... for some... the best misery.  All I can do is call, wish him good will, pray their way, and hope the best for them.

I have finally, or am finally, beginning to leave some of my misfortunes behind.  I'll never be more than a cripple.  But I can be a fitter, or less pained, cripple.  And I am heading that way.  Between medicine and food, the right foods and more tolerable medicines, and a few other things, I haven't suffered greatly in some time.

Oh, aches, pains, and sleep hiccups.  But, really, very minor things.  And it just past winter solstice.  That I am doing this will is very good.

Chores, a second time.  The temp reads 27, but it sure seemed colder.  So I covered the rabbits for the night.  Wet, seeming, colder than the temperature would suggest, breezes, winds, maybe gusts?  I was freezing while doing chores.  Still, finished all in one pass.  Fresh water, all had plenty of food yet, and covered for warmth.  It's what I can do.

Oh, I got super, just right.  Well, an half hour late.  But, that is why I do the four hour run.  So, if there is an overage, it... isn't a major issue.  It is still a bit difficult to get enough food in, even at the cut rates.  Well, though I am having to eat from time to time after hours, but blood sugar just... does that sometimes.  And, I am keeping to few enough calories that it is still below what I had been eating by two hundred calories, or more.  If... I wasn't losing even an ounce on that supposed deficit.

I got the cat litter cleared, several times.  Now to feed them.  Maybe a shower tonight?  Then on to bed much earlier.  I hope?  Bleh.  It is snowing, again again.  The neighbor son cleared the drive.  I'll try to be up and out tomorrow, to clear it myself.  if the plow still works.  It's hinky, and beginning to fall down.  But... maybe... it will last a bit longer.  Do one or two more winters before just being removed and gotten rid of.  Later.  Or goodnight.