Realistic, Attainable and Measurable

Yet another frustrating weigh-in last night. I am up a pound...well, actually, not "A" pound, but, "THE" pound. Yep. That pesky little bugger that I have been gaining and loosing for 10 weeks now!

Full stop.

Let's switch up our thinking, and look at this from another angle:



Hmmmm...... how about looking at it from this angle?





OK - that was not very pretty, but it did get me thinking of this whole weight loss journey a bit differently.

Those photos above? Well, those jeans are the same size I wore back in 2000. In fact, they are the smallest size I have worn since getting engaged - forget the whole multiple pregnancy excuse! ENGAGED!!!

(ok, my tummy is bigger, and the pants fit me a bit differently, but these pants were bought at a "normal" store, in a normal size, with no tears of frustration or feelings of just buying something cause it fits!)

So, perhaps I should not focus on the number on the scale, but on how my body is changing. I am leaner, stronger, fitter and I carry myself with a feeling of confidence that has been missing for a long, long time.

On Sunday I ran the furthest I have EVER run (15.8km) AND I purchased size 12 jeans.

Ya, the scale may be bouncing around the 166 mark - but I am not over eating, binge eating and I am trying to choose healthy foods. I am running 3 or 4 times a week, playing soccer, working full time AND being a full time SAHM. And my weight is not ballooning. It is not inching or catapulting up.

On Thursday our running clinic had a nutritionist as a guest speaker. She is a runner, and could easily relate to our running agendas, and she works with obese children. So, I really felt that she could relate to my struggles.

After a brief conversation she gave me a big hug and said, " Look at you! You look great! You are about to go for a 6k run! You have come a long way. But you are at a cross roads. It is very difficult to properly fuel your body to prepare and train for a half marathon while totally focused on losing weight. You need to decide if your goal is to reach your goal weight in the next 2 months or is it to successfully train, and complete a half? Maybe your new short term goal is to eat healthy and properly, and train - and then, after the race you focus on loosing the last little bit of excess weight. You may be pleasantly surprised how flipping your focus to be properly fueling your training and running your race to the best of your ability will allow your to meet your weight loss goals...but it will take more time. The key should be on refueling, repairing muscle and keeping healthy. Cutting calories and sacrificing your ability to train effectively will lead to huge disappointment. You need to set your goals."

Goals. My goals.

Well, for almost 10 months my goal has been to loose weight. Period. PERIOD. Perhaps I am suffering from tunnel vision?

I really want to train and succeed at completing a half marathon. Can you imagine the feeling I will have crossing that finish line - exactly one year from the time I could not run around the soccer pitch or run up two flights of stairs?

I have come a long way. Ten months ago, I could not even fathom running 1km let alone 22.5km!

OK. So, I need to set new goals. They need to be realistic, attainable and measurable.

What a coincidence, the weekly challenge at Amy's 15 Week challenge is all about goal setting and rewarding yourself for short term and long term goals.

Here goes:


Short term goals and associated rewards:
1. Run 3 times a week while on vacation (getting in each of my LSD Sunday runs as per my training program. REWARD - A new, cute running outfit!


2. Journal everything I eat while on vacation - The good, the bad, and the ugly. REWARD - A new sleek black coat I have been eyeing for a few weeks.

3.Enjoy my vacation and get to at least 1 WW meeting in the 3 weeks. REWARD - A pair of AMAZING red shoes I saw at Winners!

Long term goals and associated rewards:
1. Run the half marathon in September - and cross the finish line with a smile, or simply beaming with pride. REWARD - a day at the spa.

2. By Christmas day be 160 pounds. REWARD - Treat myself to a boxing day shopping spree.

Well, I think those are all realistic, attainable and measurable!

Your encouragement, support and well, prayers, are all appreciated.

I am not in a race to lose weight, I am building, defining and reconfirming who I am and what I want out of life, but embarking on a healthy lifestyle and a commitment to me.

Did you have a great day too?

It is always important to start your summer vacation off right. Our first day of summer vacation plans had been in the works for a few days. The boys had decided that to truly celebrate the end of the school year they wanted to take a bus adventure. All year they took yellow school buses to school, passing the red city buses.

So, on Friday, with a huge bag packed we set off on our adventure.

We started at Baseline Station, where we bought Mommy $4 worth of tickets (all three kids were free!). Then we waited for the #95. Oh, the excitement was mounting!

The bus pulled up and our squeals of delight brought smiles and chuckles from even the most hardened public commuter!

It was all so exciting! With transfer in hand, the bus pulled out of the station. You cannot believe the excitement a little boy has when a bus pulls off the main road and goes onto the transit way - Little Anderson was looking out the window and then he started to shake, "Mommy, Mommy, look it, we are going onto the big bussie roads! Only RED BUSSIES can go on these roads Mommy!"

We arrived at Bayview station, and excited the bus. Have you ever tried to get off a crowded bus with a 5,4 and 2.5 year old??? Let's just say, it is a bit challenging, to say the least - especially when you throw in a 20 pound picnic/supply bag!

We walked from the bus stop to the O-Train platform. Here in Ottawa we have a bus system and then a new fast train system - well, I would not call it a system, it is actually one line! None, the less, we were off for stage 2 of our public transportation adventure!

We got onto the train. It was basically empty, but apparently, great care must be taken when choosing the perfect seat!

And then we were off. All three kids LOVED it. When we went through a tunnel, you would have thought we were on a big amusement ride at Disneyland!

About 10 minutes later we pulled into the station. Just for fun we exited the train, then made our way to another train car. We all switched seats, so those who had rode backwards, were now forward and those originally forward, were now seated going backwards! Fair, is fair, you know!

And off we went!

As we pulled back into the Bayview station, I asked the conductor if my transfer was still valid. Yep. I had another 45 minutes. So, I hustled the kids back up to the bus station and we hopped onto the first bus heading downtown.

We arrived downtown. We were making our way towards, what I thought would be an ideal picnic spot. Instead, we stumbled upon a promotional concert for the upcoming Jazz Festival. So, we grabbed chairs, broke out our sandwiches, fishie crackers and apples, and enjoyed a wonderful free concert.

We then hiked (yep, hiked, since I took a wrong turn) to a local establishment. My work was having a summer BBQ lunch and my boss had encouraged me to stop in. So, my plan was to drag all three kids! Little did I know that the excitement, just would not stop!

As we made our way to the restaurant, a fire truck sped past. Then, imagine our surprise when we discovered the fire truck stopped right in front of where we were going. (Apparently the BBQ set off the fire alarms!)

Well, the kids were in heaven! I could not have planned it better. And you know firemen, they are soooooo cute, I mean friendly. They let the kids look at the truck and chatted with them, and even let them stand on the back!

Anderson, came over and hugged my leg and exclaimed, "Mommy, I think this is the best day ever!"

I assured him, it was not over yet!

We joined my work gathering, and the kids were great! They were friendly, well behaved, and kind of cute in the mix with all my co-workers!

After hotdogs, pop and cookies we made our way to Chapters. This is a huge book chain that has a kids section that features a Thomas the Tank Engine play area. The kids played, I read, sipped a coffee and we all had a great time.

Then we walked up to Sparks street. Cannot miss Ottawa Ribfest! We all voted on which vendor smelled the most tastey, had the most trophies and which had the best decorations. We found our winner and waited in line. I bought a full rack of ribs with all the fixings - oh ya! Dinner would be SWEEEET!

We walked to the ice cream store. All chose our favorites, and then headed back to catch a bus home.

We climbed on board a packed train. I looked at all the weary, tired, annoyed commuters - all heading home. I lovingly looked down at my three, exhausted, but very happy (and sticky) children and smiled. This is what summer time is about. Fun and adventure.

These smiling faces sum it all up!

DJ stuck up a conversation with a fellow commuter, and he detailed his day. The love, happiness and excitement in his voice was amazing! My heart swelled when he ended his conversation with, " So, I had a great day, it was the best day ever in my life, how about you? Did you have a great day too?"

WW - Going to the birds!

March Break Fun!

March 16, 2009.

Stony Swamp Conservation Area

Sarsaparilla Trail

(Look carefully on Madigan's head!!!! I put seeds on her hat since she was not staying still enough for the chickadees to land on her hand!)

Luck of the Irish

Apparently, when my great-great grandparents came to Canada they left the luck of the Irish in their home country!

On Saturday I ran in the St. Paddy's Day Road Race. While it was fun, there was no green luck on my side leading up to or post race!

On Friday I drove downtown to pick up my race kit. It was just after 5pm. You can only imagine how busy the downtown core was at this time. Obviously, I could not find parking, so I had the brilliant idea of parking in my parking spot for work. It would mean only a 3 block hike to The Running Room. I parked my car int he underground parking space designated to me and headed off. I picked up my kit, stopped at the sports store to look for new soccer boots, browsed through a few trendy shops and then headed back to my car. I almost dislocated my shoulder when I tried to throw open the front office door. LOCKED. Yep. My car was in the building, the building you need your work pass to access after normal business hours. It was 6:13pm!!!

I waited and waited till I saw a member of the cleaning crew. I banged on the door. She shook her head and walked away. I waited and waited, finally saw another member of the cleaning crew and got her attention. She must have thought me crazy! I was going on like a mad-woman. I think totally out of fear for her own life, this non-English, non-French speaking, older woman finally let me after I kept making the universal hand gesture for car and pointing down. WHEW!!!

Well, maybe I was lucky??? I did in fact get let into the locked building and I did get back to my car!!!!

The race went well and I finished it in one piece - so, that could be considered lucky.

After the race I hurried back to my office to pick up my weekend assignment. I was jazzed. I was sweaty. I was catching a chill. I remembered I had a warm fleece sweater in the trunk. I parked in my underground spot and grabbed my security pass (!!!) and popped the trunk and grabbed my sweater. Threw on my sweater and slammed the trunk closed. Yep. You figure out what I quickly discovered? Yep. I know you would figure out where this story of luck was leading. Car keys. Trunk. Yep. Inside.

CRAP! I race over to the door and thankfully it is unlocked...but in my car there is no trunk release. So, I am sure the security guard upstairs was having a great laugh at the show I was putting on the closed circuit camera! I had to remove the kids' car seats, pile all the junk onto the backseat floor, tug the seat down. Then I had to climb back into the trunk. Which I do, but not without kicking my rear view mirror off it's holdings and almost putting my foot through my sun roof. Oh ya! I could just imagine the security guard upstairs laughing his butt off at me!!! I was a sight for sore eyes!!!!

Yep. Even in lieu of me completing the race, finishing almost a minute faster than I ever-hoped to finish, the St. Paddy's Day Road Race is not that lucky for me! Though I am sure the the security guards would get a kick out of either episodes on the security tapes!!! While not lucky, I am good for a few laughs!

Wishing you all a very happy St. Paddy's Day!

In keeping with an Irish theme - Birthday gift suggestion # 25 would have to be one of these lovely creatures:

Unfortunately, since I am allergic to long-haired dogs, I would basically die! Put, I would like a dog. All growing up we has miniature poodles or cock-a-poos. I would love to have BIG dog! So how about a standard poodle????

How could you say no to on of these little cuties?!?!?!?!?!




Hee Hee!!!

Tipping the Scales - and T Minus 38 days

This evening is my last "regular" Weight Management meeting. No more weekly hospital meetings. I now go into "self preservation mode". Instead of weekly group meetings and weekly doctor meetings, I will monthly doctor meetings and get to choose 6 sessions to attend in the next 6 months. 27 weeks have flown by! I still remember the apprehension I felt applying, committing and starting the program.

Initially, I thought the 12 weeks of of "no food" was going to be the hard part - but really, it was the transition and now, daily living. I NEVER want to go back to where I was - and I am so afraid of that happening. I do not want to be "that girl". You know, that poor girl who worked so hard to take off all the weight, only to put it all back on...and then some.

I have the potential to be that girl - and that scares me. But may, just maybe I can capitalize on that fear and keep focused and committed.

I have seen the results of weight loss. I feel great - I have so much more energy - I am see the benefits in all aspects of my life.

I am super proud of my commitment and hard work - and I still see areas I need to improve. I want to eat healthy. I want to live healthy. And, I think that desire will help me realize my ultimate weight loss goals and it will help me stay committed to this entire lifestyle change.

I hope it does...

I am sure there will be a strange feel in the meeting tonight. Most of us are not done our weight loss journey - and I think we all feel a bit nervous, anxious and tentative to be "on our own".

At the same time, I know that I am looking to define, follow and keep to a new lifestyle. I am confident that Weight Watchers will help me to get there and stay there.

My Weight Management Program with the liquid diet component taught m so much. I am walking out of the program with invaluable knowledge, acceptance and know-how. I am grateful to the program, and more specifically to the leaders - but my journey does not end, just because my program ends.

Thank you to everyone who has been following my journey. Thank you for your support. I hope that you will keep reading, commenting, inspiring, encouraging and cheering me on - I will never be able to properly express my gratitude.

OK - now, back to our Birthday Gift Count Down.

Drum Roll......at Number 38, my wish would be to get a little wave runner...a nice leisure and recreational vehicle.

This is the model I fell in love with at the Ottawa Boat Show this past weekend.

Anderson appreciated the fine steering and power of this fun-machine...

DJ could picture himself catching some rays and hitting some waves...

Madigan and Mommy were envisioning all the fun our entire family could have

enjoying this wonderful gift!!!

(and Daddy was salivating and drooling all over the place!!!)

Hee hee... no where in the rules does it say all 40 gifts have to be realistic...they can be the stuff dreams are made of!!!!

Weighing In

Weight loss wise, this has been a fairly good week. I have stuck mainly to my food plan and have been exercising a lot. I am anticipating a loss at tonight's weigh in.

Last week I had a gain, as I had predicted. I had gone up two pounds - I could list 4 issues that negatively impacted me last week. I am not upset or frustrated - heck, in 23 weeks I have lost consistently, only gaining in two weeks for a total gain of 2.5 pounds! I am very glad, I was able to regroup and have a good week. Even if the scale does not say a loss tonight, I know it has been a good 7 days.

I only have 2 more weeks on my hospital monitored weight loss program. I thought perhaps I would weigh in on the program.

One one word: extreme.

Yes, it was an extreme weight loss strategy to attempt. Going off food and following a low calorie liquid diet is not for everyone. It is a controversial way to loose weight. But I think, in some cases, this method could and is very beneficial. I think I am one of those feel-good stories.

I have always been active, and was finding it harder and harder to keep active since my weight was, well, weighing me down. I was beginning to suffocate under extra pounds, emotional eating and mindless eating. Deep down, I knew if I lost pounds fast, that I would get motivated and focused. I knew this would be a good kick-start to my new lifestyle - actually, a kick-start to returning to my old, pre-kid lifestyle.

That is exactly what happened. I am now active 6 out of 7 days doing some sort of physical activity. I am leading an active lifestyle - taking stairs, eating healthy, and being more aware of what my body and mind need to be at ideal function-level.

Going on an all-liquid diet taught me a few lessons:

1. the body actually need very little (compared to what I had been giving it!) fuel to function,
2. Number one is especially true when you are using high-octane fuel such as veggies and healthy alternatives,
3. food does not have to control me...I made it through emotional and stressful situations with no chocolate, or junk food - I coped with only a shake mix...so, now I know I can cope without turning to food,
4. I like good, healthy, interesting food - junk food is just that - JUNK,
5. and finally, I never want to loose control again - and I will never turn to a liquid diet again - I am determined to eat a healthy and sensible diet for the rest of my life.

I am very glad I did this program. I am very proud that I did this program. I am proud, happy and motivated by my 65+ pound loss in less than 6 months.

Unfortunately, I am still coming to terms with me HAVING to resort to this extreme method of loosing weight. how could I not care to such an extreme that I could let myself balloon to such an unhealthy weight. I still beat myself up for past mistakes. Oh, and how I fear I will fall into old habits and destructive behaviour. I do not want to be THAT girl who lost tonnes and tonnes of weight, only to have it all creep back on...

I guess awareness and acceptance and forgiveness are all areas that I still have to work on during this lifelong journey and process.

Fundamentally, I enjoyed the weekly sessions. It kept me motivated and focused. I am actually a bit peeved that at week 26 of the program we stop going weekly. In fact, I went and joined Weight Watchers last week to keep the social, learning and educational component of my journey going in full steam.

OK...this post is getting a bit long winded! I have lots more to say about the different leaders that we had over the last 26 weeks and the doctor and participant involvement...so, I think I will end this post and divide my thoughts into a series of posts that will be a sort of de-briefing of sorts.

I am both positive and realistic. I am facing the life-long challenge of keeping my weight and my eating in control. This is not going to be easy. Over the last 24 weeks I have learned many coping strategies and I have explored my inner-most thoughts and attitudes...I may not have will-power, but I have knowledge-power. I have a plethora of tools, tricks, strategies and ways of combating destructive behaviour, unhealthy temptations and even every-day-ordinary situations...I just have to keep at it, one day at a time.

This is me, 2 weeks before I started the program.

(Approximately 246 pounds)

This is me with only 2 weeks left on the program! Even in my winter coat, you can see a huge difference shedding over 65 pounds can make!!!

(approximately 179 pounds)

I promise more before and after photos soon...the main challenge is FINDING old, fat, me photos since I stayed away from cameras!

PS - guess what I did last week????? I registered for this, and this, and even this! YAH ME!!!!

Then Push Me Back In!

All night I hummed and haa'd about going into work in the evening to avoid treacherous road conditions in the early morning. Then, based on The Weather Channel predictions, I decided to simply go into work an hour early.

At 2:25am I slowly backed out of my driveway. The snow was deep and still coming down. I cautiously drove to the highway. Taking it very easy, I drove slowly and safely. A few idiots screamed by me - but I clutched the steering wheel and proceeded on with caution.

At my off ramp, I signaled, moved over a lane and started to take the exit. The snow plow had had zig-zaged at the entrance of the off-ramp, resulting in a wall of snow. Since it was now 3:02am, it was dark, and visibility was impaired due to snow and rain pellets. I slowed down and lined my little car's wheels up with the one and only wheel track cutting through the snow barrier left by the plow. Suddenly, my wheels started to slip and I could not straighten the car out. In slow motion I slid into the high snow bank on the side of the off ramp. My car became wedged sideways in the snow bank.

I sat for a moment, glad to be ok, then mad that I was stuck, then concerned I may not get to work, then I realized it...I was friggin' sideways, blocking 3/4 of the off ramp...and it is 3:04am.

Luckily, I had my phone. I called my hubby...just in case something would happen - I was terrified a car coming off the highway would crash into me. Then I called CAA - Canadian Automobile Association. I spoke to the operator and he informed me that I was a top priority, especially since I was in a dangerous spot. A tow truck would come within the next half hour.

A van came off the highway and stopped. Three young guys got out and tried with all their might to get me out of the snow bank. Nope. I was wedged in. Just as we were trying another car came screaming off the highway - he lost control as he tried to squeeze through and become stuck.

The three guys and I rocked and pushed his car till it was freed.

The two vehicles left me as there was nothing for them to do: I assured them that I had just called CAA and a tow truck was coming.

So, I waited.

And waited.

Suddenly I saw flashing lights behind me - a big yellow tow truck from Ottawa Towing. Thank you!

I got out of my car and said, "Thank goodness! I was getting a bit scared of getting hit. Conditions are getting worse and visibility is nil, and well, look, I am stuck sideways in the off ramp."

"Have you out in a sec."

"Great! Here is my CAA card. Whew, the operator said I may have to wait for half an hour!"

"Um. I am not with CAA. Did you call it into CAA?"

"Ya."

"Well, I'm here first, you may have to wait a long time - so, if you want, I can pull you out - but you will have to pay me."

"Oh."

"$65.00 and you will be out in a few seconds - or you can wait for CAA"

"Oh, well, I pay by dues to CAA, and I just called them - so, well, I guess I will wait for them."

...and zoom...he was off.

I waited about 5 more minutes, then a big white tow truck from Garvis Towing pulled up beside me. Nice, young guy jumps out and says, "Did you call this in?"

"Yep! Let me get my CAA Card! So glad you are here!"

"I'll have you out in a jiffy! Put it in neutral and I will pull you out."

"OK!...AWESOME! That took 2 seconds! Here is my CAA card!"

"Oh, I am not with CAA. You owe me $95.00... I am not with CAA. I do not accept CAA cards. You will have to pay me."

"WHAT?!?!?!?!? I told you I had called it in and told you was was getting my CAA card - then you just pulled me out! You made me think you were with CAA...I cannot pay you...I will not pay you!"

"Mame, you gotta pay me - I pulled you out...you have to pay."

"Well, then, PUSH ME BACK IN and I will wait for the CAA tow truck. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"





I got on the phone with CAA and well, long sobbing, angry story later, I had to pay the tow truck driver, and no, he did not push me back in! I felt tricked, scammed and violated. I was furious and out $95.00! And the kicker - the first tow truck driver works for a contractor of CAA - but he wanted to make full fare and not the CAA rate. I have submitted my claim to CAA for reimbursement, but I will probably only get the CAA rate... a miserly $39.00...no wonder the tow truck operators would rather gouge you! So, if you ever need a tow truck, pleaase NEVER use Ottawa Towing or Garvis Towing!

Weighty Issues and Lessons

Ok - today I am answering a few of the questions many of my wonderful bloggy-friends have been asking about my weight loss program.


Let me start off by saying that a liquid diet is not meant for everyone. Talk to your doctor, investigate your options, and then make an informed decision. Education is power!


1) Why did you decide to try a liquid diet?


A few months back I would have never guessed that I would even ponder a full liquid diet, let alone stuck to one! I remember in university, when I was a varsity athlete & in great shape, my roommates did Slimfast. I rolled my eyes at them!!!


I have always been active, especially with playing soccer. Last summer, I was not happy. I felt HUGE, slow, and ashamed of my body, and of my play. So, back in June I started talking to my doctor about options. We discussed exercise programs and dieting. I started different self-paced plans, but nothing was really coming together and I was getting more and more upset. I was trying to watch what I ate, exercising - but not loosing weight. I needed help.

My doctor suggested the program offered at our local hospital. Neither of us knew very much about it - so we started investigating. For the program you had to have over 50 pounds to loose.

After the application process I just knew this program was what I needed. It was extreme - but I felt I needed an extreme solution. I also began to see the benefits (for me) to move to a liquid diet and then have a controlled re-introduction to food. I also liked that this program had mandatory group and individual meetings and support from a range of professionals.



2) How does the program work?


You can get lots more info HERE.


Basically, you go onto a liquid only diet for 6 or 12 weeks, and then have a gradual re-introduction to food. You also have a series of routine medical tests including heart tests and blood work done to monitor your health. Weekly group meetings are mandatory for the first 26 weeks, then you move to a less structured follow-up plan. You also meet with a program doctor each week and have individual sessions with other health care professionals like dietitians, physical therapists and personal trainers.


This is how my plan is set up - it does varies from person to person. During the first week of the program I restricted my diet to 1200 calories of "normal" food. Then for 12 weeks I have 4 shakes a day - for a daily caloric intake of 900 calories. Then I will start to re-introduce real food. You gradually reduce the number of shakes you have each day and replace it with strict real-food options. For example, the first week of transition you have 3 shakes a day plus 1 cup of veggies and 1 serving of protein. When I get to transition I promise to write more...well, I will NEED to write more to get my head around it all!



3) What is the name of the shakes? Do they taste good? What flavours?


The actual product is called OPTIFAST and it is made by Nestle. In Canada it is actually a prescription. The Canadian program only offers 2 flavours of shake powders: chocolate and vanilla. You can use low calorie, or no-calorie extracts to flavour if you like -

but I have decided to keep things simple.

I usually have 2 chocolate shakes a day, one vanilla shake a day and I also usually mix one vanilla shake with cold coffee once a day. I do not mind the taste. I did worry about how it would taste - but they are OK. You can adjust the amount of water used to change the consistency of the shake.


Some people use blenders, but I am lazy and use the hand shaker they gave us.

You have up to 20 calories to play with - many people use this as up to 1/4 cup of skim milk for their coffees, or to drink a cup of broth. I actually use the broth option to replace my salts if I have an extreme workout or soccer game where I sweat lots. It is actually quite refreshing and satisfying - can you friggin' believe I just wrote that about broth!?!?!?

The shake is perfectly balanced to meet all your nutrient needs. The goal is to provide your body with just enough calories to function and to get into a light state of ketosis. In ketosis your body is releasing ketones, which means you are burning stored fat. In ketosis you do not feel hungry - for real!!! I have found that I am not as moody or tired as before - my body has the fuel it needs and no junk in it. I am no longer artificially boosting my sugar levels to compensate. I actually feel GREAT!

4) Do you miss food? Do you have any cravings?


There are times when I miss food - or more specifically chewing a variety of tastes. But, I am kind of liking the simplicity of the shakes. It is like a vacation from food. It is easy and instead of dwelling on the food I am missing, I think of what I am doing to take control and what I am learning.


The shakes are sweet - so I sometimes crave salty or some of the ethnic flavours I love. But, again, I try to stay focused and think to myself that right now, no food will taste as good as I am going to feel lighter and healthier. I have also discovered a bunch of decaf/herbal teas that give me a variety of flavours.

What I miss most is dinner time with my family. I have decided not to participate in the dinner hour - for personal reasons I decided I did not want my 3 young children to see me not eating. So, I make the meal, serve it and then escape - I either go for a walk, go to soccer, to the gym or go blog. Therefore, I do not miss food, but the social and family-bonding that takes place during food-related activities.


5) What have you learned so far?


Oh, I have learned so much about my old eating habits, old insecurities, and about the relationship I had with food. I have also learned a series of coping techniques and strategies for keeping the weight off. Look over to the right sidebar - I am starting a little list!


I am amazed at a few things:

• how little FUEL the body needs to work efficiently


• how easily other emotions can be mistaken for hunger


• how good I feel when I am not eating crap


• how much I use to eat BEFORE I ate - taste testing while cooking, snacking and stealing from the kids


• how I need accountability and I will ALWAYS need to watch my weight and work hard at maintaining a healthy weight, and


• how much I deserve to be happy, healthy, active, and to feel beautiful, inside and out.

Our weekly meetings cover a whole series of topics including portion controls, journalling, coping strategies, exercise programs, label reading and food preparation, and creating support systems.

I like how the behaviour specialist tells us that not everyone has will power - but you can have skill power to make the the right, informed, healthy decisions needed to succeed.

Another HUGE lesson I am learning each and every day is what foods I do not need. This is a bit of a strange concept to explain. Before, I believed totally in the "everything in moderation" theory. But I am plagued with the "all or nothing" mentality too...a deadly combination! I still believe in moderation, but my attitude has changed a bit. For example, it is OK to have a chocolate bar - but now I need to ask myself, do I REALLY want that chocolate bar. I really think my food choices will change. At the end of the 12 weeks I will have made it through multiple stresses, challenges and cravings without junk food or comfort food. Therefore, why do I need those bad food choices to help cope with life situations??? So, I have learned that there are foods just not worth having and that the high they gave me or the comfort they gave me was artificial. I now have new and better coping mechanisms.

I have learned so much...and have lots more to learn!

6) What is your weight goal?

Believe it or not, but my main goal is not number-oriented. Instead, I want to be healthy and fit. I want to have fun playing my soccer, be competitive in my soccer leagues, feel good about myself and enjoy being active with my family.

But in terms of pure numbers - my initial goal was to loose 10% of my body weight - I did that at week 7. Now I am working towards getting below 200 pounds. At the end of the 26 weeks I hope to have lost at least 50 pounds - then I will re-evaluate. I am never going to be 102 pounds - but I may decide to start maintaining a healthy, active 175 pounds. The program doctors have told me that 170-180 would be a good goal for me.

Realistically, results on this program can vary - but many people loose 10% of their starting weight by week 6 and then loose 5-10% again by week 12. Most people have an increase during transition, but then by monitoring their diet and following an exercise program they begin to loose again.

Well, this post is getting very long! I think the bottom line for me is that this program is working. It is a tough one - a strict one, and an extreme one - but the benefits, lessons learned and the successes I have had to date make it all worth it.

As you have read in previous posts, there have been challenges. But in the end, I know that I will meet my goals and I will be successful in maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle. Failure is not an option. My love of life, my love for my wonderful husband and my amazing kids outweigh any struggle or challenge I may face.

Thank you all for your support.

For now, I will keep shaking, and keep loosing and learning and rediscovering myself.

Keep the questions and comments coming!

And the award goes to...

The Parents Bloggers Network, in conjunction with Blurb.com is running an AWESOME contest. You gotta go check it out - but don't make any submissions, cause, you know, The Fringe will be winning!

Thanks to Secret Agent Mama for posting about this virtual costume contest. (You should go visit her amazing photo blog - her photos simply astonish me, they are wonderful!)

I will be bribing the judges, Tracey of Mother May I and Shutter Sisters, Casey of Moosh in Indy, and Aimee of Greeblemonkey, with, um, well, how about all the Coffee Crisp chocolate bars I can steal from the kids' loot? (They are only available in Canada, you know! And they rock!)

So, for fun I have thrown my three little tricker-treaters into the race.

For CUTEST COSTUME in the 2 and under category : PINK CRAYON MADIGAN. The walls and wood stairs, and even the stove at The Fringe all display her masterpieces - her costume was VERY appropriate!

For BEST HOME MADE COSTUME - especially since it cost $1.74 in material and $1.00 for face paint: SPOOKY GHOST DJ. When DJ saw himself in the mirror, well, he almost fainted! He LOVED his costume - and heck, that is what really counts!

For CUTEST COSTUME in the 3 and up category: BATMAN ANDERSON. For the week leading up to Spook Night Ander wanted to wear his costume all day and night. He was especially fond of his cape and mask. For weeks our house has been filled with him randomly yelling out POW! BAM! BOOM!

You can only enter three photos, but here is a few more from our Halloween celebrations.

DJ going to Beavers in his costume - We got him into costume and then told him to get ready for Beavers (Boy Scouts) and he came back looking like this and making ghost noises!

Ghostly Ghost walking with pink crayon! We visited Daddy's work and the kids and their costumes were all the range. I also like this photo because DJ has always seen himself as Madigan's keeper - and this photo captures the love and respect they share.

Mags posing with our pumpkins. The kids and I had so much fun designing the pumpkins - but what we are really proud of is the fact that the three medium pumpkins were grown in our own garden!

The kids had a blast going to our friends' houses and trick-or-treating. All three are at a age where they ooze excitement. DJ and Anderson are all ready trying to decide what to be - at least I will have time to make their costumes!

Hope everyone had a wonderful and safe spook night.

The Best Batman Episode Ever!

Sunday Scrappin' Fun With Great Grandpa

Click HERE for more Sunday Scrappin' entries.

This is a great site to get ideas and inspiration for all your scrapbooking and paper crafts. Check it out!

I have a whole bunch of Ta-Das to share.

My husband's grandfather came to visit for a week. Yep. The kids' great grandfather came to hang out on the Fringe. He lives clear across the country, so we do not get to see him that often.

He is a wonderful, active, smart, fun-loving man. It was a wonderful trip. So, to make a keepsake of his visit, every night I would slip away and digitally scrapbook our day. I took pictures of us golfing, going hiking, picking pumpkins, going to the museum and even relaxing and watching a movie.

I printed each page to fit a 8.5 X 11 page at home and simply got them bond with a coil-band at Staples. It turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself. Then, I took the entire book, re-wrote some of the journalling to be personal for each of my kids and printed off smaller 4X6 copies.


Now everyone has a special memento of the wonderful week we had.


Here are the pages I created:

Thanks for looking!

Getitng Rid of Germs

On Sunday evening Anderson was not feeling well and vomited. YUK!

He innocently looked at his mess and declared, "I had so many germies that they came out of my mouth!"

Later that evening he vomited again and declared, " My germies just won't stay inside me and now they are all over me!"

Poor little man. He is feeling better now - thankfully.

Senior Bunny

Today DJ started Senior Kindergarten...and loved it!

Knock Knock Joke Time Line

Day 1

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Banana Orange! Isn't that funny Mommy?!?!

Day 3

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Orange and banana! Isn't that funny Mommy?!?!

Day 4-8

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Isn't that funny Mommy?!?!

Day 9-14

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Horse!
Horse who?
A horse that is glad I did not say banana? Isn't that funny Mommy?!?!

Day Day 14 and counting

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Mommy!
Mommy who?
Mommy, orange you glad I did not say banana? Isn't that funny Mommy?!?!
You got that right Kiddo!

Anyone know any other knock knock jokes I can teach my little comedian - you know, in case we run out of bananas or sanity!

Sunday Scrappin'

For many weeks I have been admiring and commenting on fellow-scrapbookers' blogs. Looking at their pages and designs sure do inspire me. I have been especially impressed with the page layouts and designs by Diane at Forgetfulone and Miss Sniz and Mighty Morphin' Mama, along with a few others (sorry I cannot remember them all - but I love them all!).

I am addicted to scrapbooking as much as I am to blogging. I think they are very similar in the fact that both are creative outlets that allow us to explore, explain and capture daily life and those special, memorable occasions. For me, both offer some "me" time, but result in an archive of experiences and memories that me, my family and our friends can treasure for years to come.

There is a great blog for Scrapbookers that has a neat weekly challenge. It is called Sunday Scrappin' and it offers links to many other blogs that are super amazing.

Last night I participated in my monthly blog Saturday and completed a few pages of which I am very proud and I thought I would take the plunge and share them. Hope you like them!

This is layout is Madigan's birth. I have some wonderful photos that my hubby took during the c-section - including one of just her foot sticking out of me and then the exact moment they pulled her out, bum-first!

This is a series of shots from June 2007. I like my banner on the top of both pages I used stickers and paper to make a long beach scene.

We do an annual hike near our house each October as the leaves are changing. We take a photo of the kids on the same rock every year. This is my 3rd year scrapbooking this event and I think this layout is one of my best!

This layout took a long time as I was not sure how to use the poor photos we took!

Though, I do like the 3 photos of DJ on the left page - one with no makeup, one with me applying the makeup and the final Shrek!

In the past I only scrapbooked specific events. But I am slowly starting to do "month spreads". this two page spread contains photos from a series of hikes we took in the months of October and November. I like the foot prints I drew on the title.

This single page spread does not have any journal writing since all I could write about was how Santa did not take one good photo...he was either blinking or sticking his tongue out or something! Man, it is hard enough to get a good shot of a 3 year old, 2 year old and 10 month old on their own!!!

One the left side are photos about my eldest son's annual heart tests. I included a sticker that quotes Mary Poppins and reads, "Perfectly perfect in every way". I changed it to read "perfectly imperfect" since that is exactly how his cardiologist describes DJ's heart!

The right side of the page is kind of cool since it only has two photos of the boys and the rest are produce and parking meters! This is the street market we visit every summer - we usually shop then swim and eat most of our fruits. Twice last summer I fed the wrong parking meter and got a ticket...so, this page is a neat little summary of our summer marketing.

This was an emotional page! The first day of school for DJ! I love how proud he looks walking to the school bus stop. I drove like a crazy-woman to beat the bus and get a photo of him getting off the bus at school!

Well, I hope you enjoyed a glimpse at what I worked on this weekend. I am hoping to participate in a few more of the Sunday Scrappin' challenges.

Do you scrapbook? Want to share? I would love to see your work.