Adapt

I’m sitting here, along with my wife, in front of the tv and wanting something different. Why can’t I pull myself away? I’m obviously not watching, but I am still hearing the dialogue and still taking in some of the goings on, enough that I know my focus is not on what I am doing. I am literally of two minds. One is listening (partially) to the tv and the other working on this blog.

In light of what I said in my last post about intensity I must be daft. It takes me back to school days where I would argue that I could watch tv and study at the same time. It is draining me on some level and much like watching a horror movie I can’t pull myself away.

I was talking to the Assisted Living Coordinator at Dads new home the other day and found her comments interesting regarding her work/home life balance. She was running pillar to post at work and I asked her if it was always like that, and what does she do to come down when she goes home? She said she loves to read but when she gets home she’s too up, too wired to relax and take up a book. I can totally relate. Gloria thought perhaps in my case it’s because at work I adapt, essentially putting up a facade or front between me and work life. Unfortunately it requires energy to do so, much like a forcefield requires energy to maintain it’s shield. Then of course when I get home the forcefield comes down but my batteries are drained.

So here we are, full circle, at home with drained batteries and unable to pull myself away from the mindless sponge of television. Woe is me!

I’m looking forward to the weekend, and it’s only hours away now. We are camping about 20 min. away and I’ve been commuting to/from work. It’s not as bad as I thought, the drive is quite relaxing and doesn’t take long. I should be using the time to think deep thoughts but not much of that has come to me lately. I must be slightly “out of sync” with the cosmic forces.

We will stay until Sunday or Monday being that Monday is a stat, and if the weather holds. Family has been invited out on Saturday for a bar-b-que, hopefully a low key event. I”m not much for get-togethers, my non-social side wins out in that regard. I say non-social because I’m not against the socializing, it’s just something that I don’t often want to get involved with. Little of the conversations stimulate or interest me and if I try to put on much of a happy face I find it very draining. Gloria said it may be because in circumstances like that I am adapting to the situation, and it’s the effort to adapt that tires me out. As a result I’ll often have some alcohol to chill me out, perhaps not the most appropriate response but effective.