You Know HOW To Make ‘Em Uncomfortable Enough?
You need to stop targeting people they don’t give two tin goddamns for. You already see it with Hispanic voters that GLADLY voted for Moe Hailstone, not once, not twice, but THRICE! They didn’t think he would hurt THEM, but the other people that didn’t look like them…
I Don’t Know Why Florsheims Remind me of Pimp Shoes in a Bad 1970s Exploitation Film, But Here We Are…
As I was reading “Envisioning The American Dream,” I was suddenly reminded my teenage years (early 90s), when all things 70s were in again. Boy, oh boy…you couldn’t swing a dead cat without some kid coming to school in their parents leather coats, bell bottoms, platform shoes, etc. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do that as my feet were way too large to fit into ANY of my mother’s shoes. (She wears an 8…I wear a 10.5…how many times have you seen a 10.5N in shoe stores?)
Anyhoo, to get to my point, I just wanted to throw in this AI image of Moe Hailstone in his gold Nudie Pimp Suit.
Here’s hoping Operation Epstein Amnesia will help us forget about that whole children’s sex trafficking ring and what not!
SNOWMAGEDDON 2026!!!!!!!
Welp, the Storm of the Century (well, of the decade…okay, of the past year) has dumped some 13″ of snow on our little town (hint: it’s where the Arch, toasted ravioli, and those crackers and ketchup that calls itself a pizza is located). Even better, we get a school day! It’s nothing like last year’s snow WEEK, where it kept snowing and snowing and snowing, so we ended up with THREE whole weeks of vacation. I doubt that we’ll ever be that lucky again! Here’s some video of the snowjinx folks got up to today…and the constant wall to wall coverage of how people shouldn’t travel on the roads…only to be shown every channel’s Snow Tracker crew driving along showing us what it looks like when there’s a lot of blowing snow. Exciting!
I spent my day binge-watching old TV shows–Highway Patrol, and both versions of Dragnet. You gotta love hearing Joe Friday rant about the horrors of drugs when the dude was the face of Chesterfield cigarettes.
Anyhoo, that’s how we exciting people spend our snow days, binge-watching old shows, shoveling at least a foot of snow, and saying a joyous prayer of thanks that there’s a snow day tomorrow. NO SCHOOL! (If this was my day, we still would’ve gone to school. Anyone who went to school with me knows how our school district was…)
Happy Hanuchristmakwanzaa!
Let’s be real—the holiday season can feel like a wild mashup of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa celebrations all rolled into one big, glittery snowball. Whether you’re baking cookies for Christmas, lighting the menorah for Hanukkah, or honoring traditions during Kwanzaa, sometimes the holiday humdrums sneak in. So how do you defeat them? My secret weapon: bad movie marathons.
Forget those classic Christmas movies (okay, maybe keep *Home Alone* on standby). Instead, queue up some B movies and let The Three Stooges bring the slapstick cheer. There’s something magical about watching “so-bad-they’re-good” holiday flicks with friends or family while munching on leftover gingerbread or latkes.
And when New Year’s Eve rolls around—whether you’re out celebrating or cozied up at home—it’s the perfect time to reflect on your favorite bad holiday movies from the past month. Make it a tradition! On New Year’s Day, jot down some new year’s resolutions (like finally making it through that entire “worst holiday films” list).
So this season—no matter what you celebrate—embrace a little chaos and laughter. Happy Hanuchristmakwanzaa to all!
Born On This Day
…in 1909, this guy was born Joseph Wardell in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
12 July 1909-3 July 1993
Born OTD in 1897…
So, We’re STILL Doing This?! (or, You Had Me at St. Albans…)
‘Tis been a long time since I’ve seen one of THESE kinds of emails:
ARE YOU DEAD OR ALIVE
I’m a special Diplomatic Mr. William Rogers
from BMW company 2001 MacCorkle Ave, St
Albans, WV 25177, United States! I have
been trying to reach you on your Email
about an hours now to inform you on your
BMW i7 car and a consignment box worth
12,500,000.00 (Twelve million and five hundred
thousand United States dollars) in your name
which was instructed by the International Monetary
Fund (IMF) Washington DC to be delivered to you.
please you are to reconfirm your delivery Info to
me, to avoid delivery to the wrong person such as,
Your full name…
Your current home address…
Phone number….
Nearest airport..
Photo of ID..
Mr. William Rogers
Reply email: williamrogers08@outlook.com
Text or call +1(304)699-4191
BEST REGARDS
Mr. William Rogers
Special diplomatic agent
So, who is this “Mr. William Rogers, Special Diplomatic Agent,” aside from someone whose fifteenth language appears to be Spamglish? I’ll admit, when I saw the magical words “St. Albans,” we all know where my mind went…
…but alas, it’s St. Albans, West Virginia, which I didn’t even know existed. But since we live in the age of Rod Argent’s internet, let me check if it’s actually a town.
(Off to Duck Duck Go…)
Welp, it IS an actual location, just not the one you’d think…pretty sure “Mr. William Rogers” stated that this was a BMW, and what’s in the picture is damn sure not a BMW dealership.
Well, it IS an actual location, just not the one you’d think. I’m pretty sure “Mr. William Rogers” stated this was a BMW dealership, but what’s in the picture is definitely not a BMW dealership.
It’s a Ford Pre-Owned dealership. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against used cars—I would’ve bought one when my old car literally stopped on one of the busiest streets (complete with heavy traffic, St. Louis “drivers,” and did I mention it was over 100 degrees and the AC was out? Apparently, AC controls for a 2010 PT Cruiser were obsolete, so it couldn’t be fixed). The gods, or maybe satanists, were on my side that day because I stopped right in front of a police car! Considering this was just blocks from where the whole Michael Brown incident happened—look it up (#Ferguson)—I was hoping I wouldn’t get a beatdown for making the officer get out of an air-conditioned car to help me with my hoopty, but he did.
Anyway, back to the new car versus used car topic—I was looking at used cars that had more miles than the car I was (sort of) driving! Why should I pay new car prices for a vehicle with even more miles than the 190,000 on the Cruiser? To quote the late, great Rudy Ray Moore (aka Dolemite):
I spent so much money on Ubers and rental cars.”But Stooge, why wouldn’t you have your insurance pay for it?” The car was worth literally $500. I kept putting it off because I didn’t feel like dealing with people, buteventually I had no choice but to deal with them. There was really only one car I wanted—well, two—but the Chevy Spark was being discontinued, and there was no way I was buying a brand–new discontinued car. So I went with my first choice (ever since I saw those commercials in high school): a Hyundai Accent. The $7,999 (or whatever) price from back then was long gone, but it was still the cheapest car I could afford, so I was kind of like this guy…
To make a long story even longer (and possibly even MORE boring, it pissed me off that “William Rogers” has probably scammed at least one person with his terribly constructed scam. If there’s at least one person than can learn something from this long-winded rant about Nigerian scammers, used cars, inflation, and wishing that the Yugo hadn’t been the world’s crappiest car (along with the Pinto and Pacer).
Remember folks, if it sounds too good to be true, there’s probably a poorly constructed email from Nigeria, Poland, or Romania behind it. As Tom Cat would tell you, “DON’T YOU BELIEVE IT!”
sixdegreesofstoogeration.wordpress.com 