An Immigrant's Tale

"It’s generally understood that many fiction writers have a semi-autobiographical protagonist in their first books." Joanna Penn

This is certainly true of my first novel. While the story is based on Ruth in the Bible, I could identify with her traveling from one culture to another and working to fit in and be accepted. When I met Mark in 1992, he was only the 3rd American I had ever really met (the first one was also called Marc, at an Irish Language Summer Camp in Blackrock College when I was 12, and like my Mark he was pretty with brown skin, so clean and rich looking). I had never been off the British Isles, not even to the continent (of Europe), let alone the Americas! I am a homebody, I do not like to travel and had no intentions of seeing the world and was not practiced in the art of meeting people different from myself.

So when this American asked me to marry him, with the implicit idea that we would live in the US, I only agreed in my heart when he said that if I didn't like it we could go live in Ireland. Adjusting to American life was very difficult for me. I was very much a South Dublin Protestant when I moved to the States. But I knew for many reasons that my life in Ireland had ended and I was 'meant' to be in America. So I sucked it up. I adjusted. I changed my accent, my clothing. I learned to appreciate American customs and freedoms and ways.

And eventually, like Ruth, like Gala, I was accepted. I found my place. And I was loved.

And now, 20 years later life is good here.

The journey was worth the effort.

Buy my paperback novel Gala on Amazon.
Or get the Kindle version.

Published on Amazon!

I did it. Finally. I took my guts in my hands and published my novel. I ordered a copy of it on Sunday, right after it was published and my copy came in the mail today, Wednesday. I didn't even look inside for fear I missed inputting one of my editors changes or made some other mistake. I just wanted to call it good. To say "I did it."

So, yes! I did.

And if I can do this, then anyone can do whatever it is they are dreaming of! I have 6 kids each with very active lives and large personalities. I homeschool them. I have a wonderful cleaning lady who comes weekly, and lot's of friends and emotional support, plus a super busy, loving husband but otherwise I do all my own household work/homeschooling/driving kids around myself. I took longer than someone who works at writing full time would, but I made the time in my busy mamma life for creativity. If I can do this, you can do this!

And it is worth the effort. I have accomplished something I am proud of. I like the characters in this book. I like the tone of the book. I like that it brings to life a Biblical story (it is loosely based on the Book of Ruth). I like the cover, thank you Beetiful Graphic Design!

I am not in this game to sell tons of books or make money. I just wanted to tell a good story. If you do want to buy the book you can buy:
Paper back for $9.49 on Amazon
Kindle for $3.99 on Amazon
If you have bought the paper back, you can also get the Kindle for $1.99 and if you are enrolled in the  Kindle unlimited program (which is $9.99 a month) my book, along with 700K other books, is free!

Nearly time to publish!

All edits are in, thank you Nicole, reviews are complete and I am almost ready to publish this book! I know it has taken me longer than I planned, but better late than never.
I didn't have an external deadline, just me. So here I am controlling my own path. I guess that launching the book just in time for Christmas is as good an idea as any.

So, if you want a signed copy of the book let me know and I can arrange that. I am selling pre-orders at my church this Sunday.

Serendipity

Matthew and Reese looking to the future

My son had a school project - to create a shield that represents America in the future. He and his study group brainstormed and then Matthew and his buddy Reese created this circle shield. It's dystopian of course. It seems that their generation so easily accepts a view of the future that life is going to get worse, or at least is not going to be better. So much of their literature is dystopian - think of The Hunger Games, The Maze Runner and the Divergent series for YA - all dystopian. They all portray the premise that the America we know may one day not exist. On their shield the boys drew only a few stars, because in their imagined future only a few states would exist, some would have merged, some would have seceded.

It is interesting to me that they would come up with this because that is what happens in my story. Matthew hasn't read my book, I did most of my writing at night when he was in bed, and I have not really discussed it with him. The background of Gala is that America is fractured - for example: California and some of the surrounding states have become a country called "New West" while Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas have merged to become "Tristate". New West was a country started with great vision, but has since descended into an pre-1989 East Germany type communism. Gala escapes from New West and travels across a vast area of destroyed land to reach a mysterious, prosperous, old fashioned democracy in Tristate. (It's true, I am truly a conservative Texan!)

I would love Matthew to create a flag for my book! Maybe he and I could work on it together. One day. When we are not so ridiculously busy with school and church and soccer and debate and family and friends and the other stuff that makes up our current, decidedly not dystopian life!

I got the proof of my book. It is in the hands of my editor, Nicole Watson for a final read through. I already know a couple of layout changes I want to make. It will be just what I want it to be when I finally get it up onto the book shelf!

Do it for the....

This week I will get closer to uploading my book, Gala, to Amazon and get my proof. Yep. I'm going to do it, even though I have had moments of doubt recently. Why do it?

1) Mark, my husband, said do it.
2) My friends said do it.
3) Some friends and family have taken the time to read and do a light edit, I need to respect their time.
4) I paid for a cover.
5) I paid for a pro edit.
6) My daughter is writing her own books and I need to model publishing for her (like Jeanie James said in the last post comment).
7) I said I would and I need to be true to my word.
8) I always wanted to do this. Why stop now? What do I have to lose?

I was procrastinating last night and saw a news article about a Viner who has become a star due to millions of teenage girl fans. Shawn Mendes has a new song on You Tube that I listened to. I didn't like the song much, but the lyrics inspired me! The irony jolted me - here I was surfing the internet, avoiding working on my novel while this kid singing about not being ordinary, risking making mistakes, taking a shot even if it scary! I woke this morning with my to do list clear.

So this week I will try to wrap up the formatting and probably read it one last time. I am getting closer and closer to being ready. Everyday I do something on this book, all those little things add up! When it will be available on Amazon, I don't know exactly - Nicole, my editor will read the hardcopy once more in case there are any final edits, but hopefully it is pretty close.

Imagery and a love story (my own)

Farwell, Texas by Shona Cole 1992

Images can inspire words. I have always first been a visual person. I can only learn something if I look at it. I can only do Math problems if I draw them out. And I have found I can only write if I have images to give me that certain feeling (well, and music too, but that is for another post). 

The first half of my novel is set in a land that looks like West Texas. In my real life at Christmas, 1992 I visited America for the first time. I had met a man in college in Ireland the year before. We knew each other for only 6 weeks before he returned to the States, but it was enough to change my whole world. He was different from every other man I had met. He was self contained, confident, independent and deeply passionate. We wrote letters when he left, but I never thought I would see him again. I was an Irish college student with no intention of ever leaving Ireland. I had never even been on the European continent let alone the Americas! 

In spring and summer, 1992, he was in Germany and later Liechtenstein working for Hilti. He called me out of the blue and invited me to visit him while he was in Germany. My parents said I shouldn't go, we hardly know him and he is a right-wing conservative therefore he could be a crazy maniac! I went anyhow. He met me at the Cologne airport and I was nervous. He was as beautiful and interesting as I remembered but what if my parents were right? What on earth was I doing there? What if the relationship wasn't as romantic as I remembered and I was stuck there for 2 weeks with a total stranger? But, as we stood at that bleak bus stop he touched my hair and I knew it was all good.  

We traveled back and forth between Liechtenstein and Ireland that summer and at Christmas when he had returned again to the US he invited me over for a few weeks. 

Mark's 1980 Chevy Camaro

I flew to Dallas and he picked my up in his red Camaro and drove me west to his hometown in Farwell, Texas. I was devastated. It was flat and empty and I thought the place looked like the moon! I had at that point entertained the idea that we could one day marry, but I could not picture myself living in such a rough, flat, brown place! I am from Ireland, I love green and hills!

I took many photos when I was there and journaled and wrote poems and tried to sketch things to make myself love the place. I painted the painting above when I returned home to Ireland from a photo I took at the end of Mark's Mom's street. I saw it as bleak then. I see it as beautiful and romantic now. In reality, of course, it is both.

We did get married, we did move to Texas, not to the Panhandle, but to Houston. It took me years to love Texas. I can honestly say that now I love Texas. I love the man from Texas that I married. I love my husband. I love our life here on 5 acres north of Houston. Houston is green. We have trees (just no hills). We travel every summer to Ireland so I get my fill of beautiful. 

My novel is set in Texas. Gala travels there on foot across a ruined land. The year is 2053, America is fractured and Texas has joined with two other states to form the Tristate. It is a place of hope and security in a crumbling world. Yep, my personal biases are stamped all over my novel. Let's call a spade a spade. But I am writing for people like me. Conservative, freedom-cherishing Americans who love the good guys to win! 

Reflections on being 40

Me after 'Spa treatment' by my 8 & 6 year olds

On April 14, 1972 I was born. 

April 14, 2012. I have been anticipating this day for a long time. I feel like my life is folded in half. First 40, second 40. Every year I live after 80 is gravy, time to enjoy the many grandkids I know I will have.

Looking at my life as a whole I am very happy with what I have accomplished so far.

The bedrock of who I am and how I live my life are in place: Religion, family, education, house stuff and politics are non issues to me now. I am just living this life. I am not trying to convince myself or anyone else to live this kind of life. It is just who I am - a Christian, homeschool Mom of 5 smart, lively, creative kids, happily married, living on 5 acres in Texas, traveling to Ireland in the summers, conservative with a libertarian flavor and committed to and supporter of artistic pursuits of all kinds. Mark and I put years of thought and sweat into making this life work. We believe in what we are doing.

My main hardships have been in my creativity and with friendships. I get unmotivated, side tracked, disappointed and feel rejection too deeply. When I am down about something in my career or with a friend it colors my day so I don't appreciate enough the rest of my blessings. I need to somehow reign that in, not lower my expectations but be realistic about my abilities and other people.

I have done many artistic things in my life so far, but nothing that has amounted to enough to satisfy me. I think the next decade is going to be dedicated to writing. I have written my first novel. It is pretty good, but I'm going to make it better and focus on finding an agent. Yep. I am. Going to try.

And I am going to quit being so hard on myself and enjoy the security in Christ and in family I have.

So this is the beginnings of my new Vision Statement..... Next I will flesh out my new Long-Term goals..... Then break it down into a Short-Term goal list..... followed by my Action Plan..... I will get there.

The three

They never fail to astound me. My three girls. Stair steps of unabashed liveliness.

They can be cruel to each other. They can be loving to each other. In minutes. But always creative. Always constructing something out of whatever is around. Together.

I can imagine the grown up sisters they will be. The unity. The support. The conversations. The calls. The texts. The boys who will be, who already are discussed.

I am blessed to be around such people. My hands are so lightly parenting them for fear of messing up what God has made already so rich.

I own a forest

I own a forest
my name is on every branch
I am pointing to the heavens
and beckoning for more

why again and again do I choose
what is not right,
what is not good?

my ruined leaves
scratch the floor

will I listen this time?

The sad song of Alfred J.

"Everyday is for creating something. Something not necessarily for a purpose. Or to please someone else. But because it is better to do than to not do."

I have heard those words. I have written and read those words. Yes. But do I live them?

I am almost 40 years old. Half a life lived in Prufrock spoons. All measured and calculated.

This child, my Laura she is the opposite. No measurement. No calculation. Only doing. Forging ahead to the beat of her own drum.

Did the Lord know my child would be my teacher too?

traveling with friends

We drove from Magnolia, Texas to Bartlesville, Oklahoma. With friends. The Muchas. Artists. Journeyers.

Our children swapping cars. Eating together. Sharing hotels rooms. Excited about everything. Writing in their travel journals. Discussing the architecture of everything we saw along the way.

Our kids were magnificent in their interest in being together and claiming the world as their own.

Our kids are comfortable in their own skins. 

Our kids are the people I always wished I been like or at least known.

In my tightly rolled thoughts is happiness filled with regret

dark and light

I want to want to find the good in the moment everyday

but I am hard on myself

I see the dark

I want it gone but the habit is very real

there are days when I can't stand the sound of my own voice

double digits

Ten years ago she was a beautiful, happy, calm baby. She fitted into my arms so perfectly, expelling the idea that I could never be a good 'girl momma'.
I have been close to her this past decade, raising her, schooling her, talking to her, playing with her, crafting with her. I have watched her blossom into an even more beautiful, happy and calm girl. But more - she is strong, healthy, creative, interesting, fun, helpful, even tempered. And so her own person. She loves what she loves. She is not easily swayed. She has a steady love of cats, gymnastics, pretty things, high heels, comfortable pants, back rubs, a clean room, Justin Bieber, drawing, rip stiking,  trampolining with her brother and sisters, playing with her 2 year old brother.
People are drawn to her easy personality. She is loyal to her closest friends - Savannah, Grace, Hannah, Zeb, Zachary, Joshua, Luke, Emily, cousin Maya, her brother Matthew and sisters Laura and Annie Rose.
I marvel at how God planned so beautiful a person as Lily Kate and then gave her to me! I don't deserve such a blessing. I love this child. I pray that I get many more decades to be with her and watch her grow. I love every moment God gives me with her.

Creative Spring

First things first....

Homeschool Mom advice.
Beading - colorful. bold.
It is the thing to do when she is 5 and everyone else is doing school.

Second. This: I am taking my own advice (the words I laid down in my book). Living day by day my own creative dream. Fitting art time into my day, everyday.

This time not mixed media, not even photography. I am writing. Creative writing. I feel like I am flying.

I hate to be so oblique here and not tell you exactly what I am working on. It is so against my nature to not be straight forward. But I have to honor the Spring of my creative venture. At least for now.

And my kids are ever growing and pushing inwards and I have to meet that challenge. I have to help keep their world moving forward. I have to keep them challenged and encouraged. Everyday my husband and I wonder where each of their huge personalities come from. One day is more awesome and creative than the next.

I look back at this blog and I am amazed at how many people I have met. It is wonderful to have found so many people who 'get' what I am doing here with my art and book and homeschooling and all that. People that are committed to living the artistic life in their homes too. I don't want to loose that. So please, while I am not blogging regularly please don't forget me. I will have something awesome for you in a few months. Seriously. Trust me. I am using my time diligently. I am excited and hopeful.

Stamp from CRESCENDOh 'Everyday Me' by Christine Mason Miller.

Fresh

Thank you to my sweet girls for doing the 'beauty shot'

These are so cute - ABC flashcards. The directions, with photos, are over at CRESCENDOh. I know they are not 'art' but they represent so much of my life - making stuff for and with my kids. I made the cards for Max, but my girls set up the shot, adding in bits and pieces to make it a little group shot.

It just makes me smile.

I am going to finish off the rest of the alphabet by the time Max need them. I think I will have to get them laminated as they won't last as they are!

Being creative is such a joy, really. Creativity is a big part of our home and life. It makes everything possible and exciting. Everyday something happens here that is new and fun and artistic, be that my kids painting, building fairy houses and pet shop worlds or me making decisions on the apartment we are building for my parents making a necklace. A couple of posts ago I mentioned that I needed a big project. Well, I found one! I am not ready to reveal it until I have waded in a little deeper. But I am excited. I have something fresh to work on. I love fresh. I love spring. Don't you?

Around my home

I took a workshop called 'A Slice of Inspiration' with Darrah Parker over at the wishstudio. I didn't know it until I was doing it that I really, really needed that class. It was refreshing to walk around with her 'seeing' suggestions, capturing those details that I see but sometimes don't see.....

printer's drawers that house my bills and receipts

the almost tidy stairs where the light is lovely in the morning

lamp that was a glass jar at my entry

Max's trike in the fireplace???!!!

oh my speakers that make everything lovely

his patient waiting to get up

school in PJs

fridge love

I think that I like when my art time allows me 'see' my life, cause when I am just living it I know only the messy mundane.

Max is a typical 15 month old - climbing on tables and chairs, flushing the toilet, opening the fridge, rummaging in the pantry, spilling things just because he can. He is not bad, just curious. And messy. I can't watch him like I would a first child because I have to do school with the others. And so, he bounces around making messes that I have to tidy. I am so glad that God saw fit to give me an artistic vision. He knew I would not survive this crazy life without it!

Art has a life of it's own

 

I was really moved by this quote on Chatting at the Sky this week. Emily has been writing about art this year on her blog, so I have become a regular reader. She is a lovely writer, and seems like a nice, gentle, kind soul herself.

I am looking ahead and laying out possible 'big' artistic projects I want to work on. I have things I am making and I am doing creative things everyday - recently I have made 3 necklaces, altered a small journal cover, made a couple of cards, did a home photoshoot for the wishBIG ecamp (which I posted on Flickr), played with photoshopping two images together, wrote a few poems, edited 2 super short kid's videos and have a couple of mixed media projects for the weekend. And this will continue, but I need something new and consuming. Something exciting.

Usually, I panic when I don't have a project right in front of me. I get insecure. I call Shannon. I bug my husband. I flap my hands at God, even though I know that this in between project stage is part of the creative process. I just have to learn to let it sit well with me. Be okay with the uncertainty.

I think there is a little fear in me that I may never do anything worth a lick again. I am afraid that is it, the well is closed. But when I look back, that is never the case. I am constantly finding new things that excite me to do. 

But also, and why I like Emily's quote, "art has a life of it's own". So, art will find me as it always does. 

 

Me too! video

Being the youngest of five Maximus has a lot of kids to watch and learn from. Fortunately, my big kids are wholesome and creative, fun and happy. Maximus likes to be with them and do what they do, go with their flow, join in the noise and be part of the ruckus.

The latest fad in the Cole home is scootering. Everyday my kids (minus Annie, who is just not the sporty type) go around and around the house, the garage, the driveway on their razor scooters. Their favorite place to scooter is outside on the road..... you can see what Max sees and how he wants to do it too:

Me Too! from Shona Cole on Vimeo.


And Laura, her sweet servant heart, is ready to help him in anyway he needs.

How is this boy only 10?

and me too! After that I raised the handle bars and man, those things can go fast!!!

If you are on Spring break, I hope you are having some fun family time. We are not as we had too much time off in January when my family were here! But it is hard to keep focused on grammar and math when the weather is so good in Texas. It is like an Irish summer, fresh and lovely. I love Spring.

**********

I have a post over on CRESCENDOh about working with kids, it is a part 2 from last week's. I am talking about being mentally and physically prepared for doing art with kids. There is some meat there, some things to think about. I hope you check it out and if you do please leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts.

I talk!

Last week I was interviewed by Jamie Ridler for her podcast series. I packed a whole lot of words into about 15 minutes about creativity in my life.

a necklace I made yesterday, photo by Lily

The questions she posed were essentially these:

Tell us a bit about yourself and your creative life.
How do you invite your creativity out to play?
As a creative person, what do you find to be your biggest challenge and how do you overcome it?
What advice would you give to people who want to express more creativity in their lives?
What's next for you?
Where can people find you?

So follow this link to hear the full podcast.

(Super unprofessional disclaimer: I have a hard time listening to the sound of my voice. As I am posting this I have only listened to about 30 seconds of my part of the podcast. Jamie sounds great, but from me all I could hear was 'like' and 'um'. So I turned it off. But Shannon listened and said it sounds like me, and she should know we are on the phone every day.)

I really appreciate Jamie taking the time to include me in her very full line up of wonderful, creative women. For a full list go here.



At the end of the podcast I mention 2 places to find me in March:

1) Over at CRESCENDOh's 'The Good Coach' series, talking about motherhood and art with kids.


2) Leading one of ten online workshops at the Wishstudio's - wishBig eCamp. It is an amazing line up of teachers, including Jamie Ridler. It is on march 21 – march 27, 2011. For details and to sign up go here.

My workshop is on creating and decorating an Artistic Vision Statement, which is a vital tool in keeping your art fires burning, especially when you have little kids in your life.

Embracing my dillettante nature

where I do a lot of thinking

dilettante
 \ DIL-uh-tont; dil-uh-TONT; dil-uh-TON-tee; -TANT; -TAN-tee \
1. An amateur or dabbler; especially, one who follows an art or a branch of knowledge sporadically, superficially, or for amusement only.
2. An admirer or lover of the fine arts.

I am in an introspective mood right now, looking at where I have been, where I am going. Considering my long and short term goals, my vision of myself.

You may wonder why I am still working on my vision of me. Why I am still trying to find that elusive sense of 'Active Satisfaction'. Well, I think with having published a book I felt that my next step needed to be 'professional' - to do another book, to market my current book, develop a product line, be a teacher, move my blog to the next level of greatness. And somewhere along the way I thought that to be a professional meant I needed to focus on one thing, to develop one art further.

But that was stressing me out because in reality 1) I am a homeschool Mama of 5 kids under 10 and 2) I have never been an exclusive person, I like to artistically dabble. And I am tired of feeling like this is not good enough, that I am not doing enough. I am tired of not being satisfied with myself. Seriously folks, in 2011 I am going to get my head around this!!!

In my introspective mode I was looking at the blogs I have bookmarked. The blogs that I visit for inspiration, for comfort, to be close to those I identify with and like. And I noticed the diversity of blogs I like:

Mama/photographers like Shutter Sisters, Shannon Mucha
Christian/writer/photographers like Chatting at the sky, Amy Voskamp
Mama/organic/life like Soule Mama, Walk slowly, Live Wildly
Artist/poetic/life style like Kelly Rae Roberts, Liz Lamoreux
Journal artists like Alisa Burke, Donna Downey
Lifestyle/women/artsy like Wishstudio
Crafty/mama/homeschooling like Artful Parent,  Acorn Pies
Crafty/mama/shabby chic like Ruffle and Stuff, One Pretty Thing
Crafty/indie/mama like Made, I am Momma - Hear Me Roar
Artist/indie/geeky/urban like Etsy's blog, or Keri Smith
Poetic/artistic/photographers like Susan Tuttle,  Misty Mawn
Mixed media/crafty/shabby chic/lifestyle like CRESCENDOh, Cynthia Shaffer, Roben-Marie,
Mixed media like Create Mixed Media, Seth's The Altered Page
Product photography/house style like A Creative Mint, Decor8

All of these blogs have bits that resonate with me.

While I know my primary focus is, big picture, on motherhood and art - my style and process is really that of a dilettante. Yes, I dabble in different arts and in different styles.

I like shabby chic, artsy romantic, clean, white and urban, indie and geeky, layered, whimsical and happy, sad and decaying. I am all of these things. I love poetry - reading it and writing it. I love photography - looking and taking. I love pretty things in my hands - notebooks, altered tins filled with papers. I enjoy doing crafts. I like to write and inspire others.

I am ambitious for my creativity. But I don't want to be a professional anything right now. I don't want to be 'an artist', to market and sell my book/art. I don't want a shop or to be a leader. I just want to be here, raising my kids and doing something creative everyday. And isn't that the essence of my book?

So really I am full circle again. Just this time I won't get side tracked by the idea of being an advancing professional woman. While I admire women who are professional, think Jenny Doh or Kelly Rae Roberts, I need to be real with where I am right now. And if I am to be true to my vision as an artistic mother, fitting creativity into my life, then I can really only be a 'dilettante'. I need to actually embrace that and save the professional ambitions for later, when my kids are grown. 

I feel like I am putting my flag firmly in the ground, here I am and this is what I am. That feels freeing!!!