Continued here! Spoilers all the way to the lone chapter we have in book 3. I think.

In his blood: that wasn't quite it. There were as many differences as similarities between the two brothers, Laurent's build less powerful, his style built around grace and intelligence, quicksilver where Auguste had been gold.

I love Damen being able to compare between the two brothers, and also his immense respect for August; this also comes right after Jord says, "You only have to be half as good as Auguste to be ten times better than everyone else," which also speaks to much about Damen's own skills, not that we didn't know them - but I love how acknowledged it is that they all really are that good.

"I like him," said Damen. "You should be pleased with him. He was the right choice for Captain."
There was an unhurried pause. Aside from the sounds Damen made when he picked up a vambrace, the tent was quiet.
"No," said Laurent. "You were."

!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE IS WHERE WE GET GOING OUT LOUD APPRECIATION OMGGGGG.

"That's the last thing I expected you to say," he admitted, a little wryly.
"Did you think I was too proud to see it? I can assure you, the pride I have invested in beating my uncle far outweighs the feelings I hold on any other account."

Damen's surprise at this <333 (I mean, I love it EVERY TIME Damen is surprised at something Laurent says and does, but you know), and also just Laurent's frankness here with Damen and his honestly with himself and complete acceptance of this.

"It's considerably less than a foot," said Damen.

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID

"Is it?" said Laurent. "It feels like more when you argue with me on points of honour."

Okay an acceptable response, Laurent, although you really should have gone with TWHS come on.

(Also in things I love: Laurent actively noticing and referencing not just Damen's height, but Damen being higher than him.)

"Leave that. Attend me," Laurent said.

!!!!!!!!!! jagfblafkj guys do you think they will tell each other to attend each other when they're married DO YOU

WILL THERE BE ANY SLAVE ROLEPLAYING IN THAT MARRIAGE

"You were well within your rights after Govart charged at you. And there was no shortage of witnesses. There's something else."
"There's something else," Laurent agreed, looking at Damen with steady eyes. As
he spoke he lifted his cup and took a sip.

I love it's just left at that. Like, yup, there was another reason. Acknowledged. Next.

"They say--they said--he was the best fighter in Akielos. I thought, if I was going to kill
someone like that, I would have to be very, very good."

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS BOOK.

Paschal said, "I would say that everything that was instinctive in the older is not so
in the younger."

I continue to enjoy every time comparisons are made between Auguste and Laurent, and how hard Laurent works to emulate his brother (in some things), while the things Laurent does better than his brother are underrates and never remarked upon (like... staying alive.)

Paschal gave him a strange look. "No, he loved him. He hero-worshipped him, the way that intellectual boys sometimes do, with older boys who excel physically. It went both ways with those two. They were devoted to one another. Auguste was the protector. He would do anything for his little brother."

Nooooooo SO MANY FEELINGS. Like: Laurent hero-worshipping his brother. Like: His brother loving him back. Like: the similarities between Damen and Auguste, and how much more it will hurt when Laurent finds out who Damen is. Like, god, I know this line is followed by Damen thinking to himself that Laurent doesn't need to be protected, but still, when it comes down to it: if Auguste had been alive the Regent would not have gotten his claws on Laurent, and I'm not saying all of Laurent's traumas are Damen's fault BUT when Damen finds out the extent of what happened to Laurent after Auguste was killed -- and he knows most of it by now, though not all, because there are things he simply can't fathom -- I do hope there is a part of him that feels REALLY REALLY BAD at the role he played there.

ALSO HEY HEY REAL QUESTION: when did the Regent even take Laurent as one of his boys? Because according to Damen, this was Laurent's age during the battle at Marlas:

Younger. Laurent had been fourteen at Marlas. Or . . . Damen moved months around in his head. The battle had been waged in early spring, Laurent reached his maturity in late spring. So, no. Younger. Thirteen, on the cusp of fourteen.

And the THING IS. Yes, boys can be prepubescent at thirteen, fourteen, but it's kind of stretching the line it as far as the Regent's tastes are concerned. I've kind of assumed throughout this whole thing that the Regent didn't get to Laurent until his father and brother were killed. But on the other hand, there's Laurent's age, and and I've always read the molestation as something that happened when he was younger, maybe nine or ten. Then again, Laurent does say about himself later:

"That wasn't a play against my uncle. That was a play against Nicaise. Boys are easy. At thirteen," said Laurent, "you could have led me around by the nose."
"I can't believe you were ever easy."
"Think of the greenest innocent you've ever tumbled," said Laurent. And then, when Damen didn't answer: "I forgot, you don't fuck boys."

Meaning he does consider himself at thirteen innocent - but this is also in the context of Nicaise being manipulated and abused by his uncle at the same age, so that type of innocence doesn't necessarily have to do with his uncle's actions, but rather his state of mind.

BASICALLY WHAT I AM SAYING IS: WHAT IF EVERYONE INCLUDING LAURENT THOUGHT AUGUSTE WAS PROTECTING HIM BUT ACTUALLY IT WAS ALREADY HAPPENING AND AUGUSTE NEVER KNEW BECAUSE HE HAS THE SAME EXACT KIND OF INSTINCT FOR THIS THING BUT DAMEN?

OR WORSE/(BETTER??): WHAT IF AUGUSTE KNEW?

I will leave at this point because hahaha I am actually AT WORK and should attempt to concentrate on that. More reactions toooooddd...aaaa...y? Maybe.

ETA: It is a day later and I am back! Let's see what I can squeeze in here before work.



"You talk more," said Damen. "When you're uncomfortable."

DAMEN LOOK YOU NOTICED SOMETHING GOOD BOY :DDD This is when they're hiding out at the brothel and I really love this, both as an observation of Laurent, and the idea that Laurent might actually have a tell of some kind (which Damen returns to in the future, I believe), but also of this being a deflection for Laurent's - "sooo you're cool with slaves as long as you're not one yourself!" *awkward silence* "...don't strain yourself."

After a moment, Laurent said, "I don't think I would have arrived here without your help, at least not without being followed. I am glad you came. I meant that. You were right. I'm not used to . . . " He broke off.

Laurent is opening uppppppppppp ahhhhh (ps this is at the inn and said to Damen who is warming his BARE TORSO IN FRONT OF THE FIRE I mean, who wouldn't start babbling about how great he is you know)

"My honourable barbarian. I wouldn't have picked that as your type."
"Type?"
"A pretty face, a devious mind and a ruthless nature."

How little you know, Laurent. HOW LITTLE YOU KNOW.

"Shy?" said Damen.
"If you want an answer, you'll need to ask the question," said Laurent.
"Half the men riding in your company are convinced you're a virgin."
"Is that a question?"
"Yes."

It's like, every time I have a favorite conversation with these two, they come up with a new one <3_____<3

"Because a king maker would always choose the weaker man. The weaker the man, the easier he is to control."

Trust Laurent to deliver a compliment like a punch in the face.

Nikandros had drawn him from his father's sickroom and said, in a low voice, Kastor has always believed that he deserved the throne. That you took it from him.

I hadn't remembered Nikandros was on his side from the start to that extent! YAY NIK. *still adjusting to Nikandros as being Laurent's generation and not his father's*

Laurent's hair tickled his neck. Damen stoically endured it.

THE TRIALS DAMEN HAS TO ENDURE GUYS WHEN WILL THEY END HE'S NOT EVEN GETTING PAID FOR THIS

Laurent shiftedagain, having seen, as Damen saw, no way for them to squeeze out of hiding without giving themselves away. And then Laurent said, in a very quiet, very careful voice, "This is . . . not ideal."

Oh, Laurent, bb, I heartily disagree. Hiding behind the shutters on the balcony should by all rights be under the dictionary definition of ideal for me.

Damen felt Laurent start shaking against him, and realised that, silently, helplessly, he was laughing.

IT'S LAURENT'S FIRST LAUGH I'LL JUST BE HERE CRYING A LITTLE
*Laurent did have one bitter laugh before, so does not count.

Wordlessly, Laurent pulled Volo's woolen cap from his belt.
Damen felt it then, the first dizzy edge of new emotion, and he let go his hold of Laurent like a man fearing a precipice; and yet was helpless.

ahhhhhh sound the alarms it's happening. IT'S HAPPENING. Laurent's gotten himself a hat and Damen is faaaaaaaaaaalllinngggg

"You can't be in two places at once," said Damen. "We need to separate."
"It's too important," said Laurent.
"Trust me," said Damen.
Laurent looked at him for a long moment without speaking.

*____________________*

(also I can't believe the last two words Laurent says to him at the end of the book are "Trust me." AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS.)

Laurent said, "I have recently learned that sometimes it is better to simply smash a
hole in the wall."

Hahaha I love Damen's surprised reaction to this and also another admission of Laurent taking something from Damen's... let's call it style.

He said, "I should go and help with repairs."
He pushed away from the tree. He felt an odd dizziness, a sense of displacement, and to his surprise he was prevented from moving off by Laurent's hand clasping his arm. He looked down at it. He
thought for a strange moment that it was the first time Laurent had ever touched him, though of course it wasn't; the grip was more intimate than the flutter of Laurent's lips against his fingertips, the sting of Laurent striking his face, or the press of Laurent's body in a confined space.
"Leave the repairs," said Laurent. His voice was soft. "Get some sleep."

CAN. YOU. BELIEVE. THIS. IS. HAPPENING. !!!!!!.

He said it in carefully pronounced Akielon.
Damen stared at him, feeling as though the world had just been rearranged.

and

It was of course no surprise to find that Laurent had a well-stocked armoury of elegant phrases and bitchy remarks, but could not talk in detail about anything sensible.

I am so, so into Laurent knowing Akielon (which, of COURSE) and also Damen's snarky remarks about his proficiency. And also:

Damen had to keep reminding himself not to grin. He didn't know why listening to Laurent pick his way through the Akielon language had him in good spirits, but it did.

DUH BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN RAISE YOUR BABIES IN TWO LANGUAGES

but seriously Damen barely suppressing a grin through this all <3___<3

"All right," he heard Lazar say.
He'd forgotten Lazar was there. After a long moment, he took his eyes off Laurent and looked back at Lazar, who was gazing at him with a rather dry but understanding smile quirking the side of his mouth.
"All right what?" said Damen.
"All right, you're not fucking him," said Lazar.

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE LOOK ON DAMEN'S FACE to make Lazar say that *____*. SO MANY HEART EYES.

It was Halvik who answered, in thickly accented Rabatian, "He is smaller, and has the tongue of a cocotte. His seed will not breed strong women."
Laurent looked entirely undisturbed by her description. "In fact, my bloodline does not throw girls at all."

Not only is this probably the most delightful description of Laurent a diplomat has probably ever uttered but I love how Laurent's like, yup, trudat. (Also: any tidbit of family history I can get about Laurent, yay.)

Laurent was asleep when Damen found his way to the correct tent, but he stirred in the furs when the tent flap opened, his golden lashes fluttering, then lifting. When he saw Damen, he pushed himself up on one arm and gave a single wide-eyed blink.
Then, soundlessly, behind the press of a hand, he started helplessly laughing.
Damen said, "Stop. If I laugh, I'll fall over."


LAURENT LAUGHING. DAMEN FUCKED OUT OF HIS WITS. WHAT CAN BE BETTER THAN THIS.

"I can see that. You're relieved of your regular duties in the morning."
"That's nice of you. I can't get up. I'll just lie here. Or did you need something?"
"Oh, how did you know?" said Laurent. "Take me to bed."

LAURENT STOP TEASING US LIKE THIS

OKAY WAIT NO YOU CAN GO ON KEEP DOIN' WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'

Eventually, and with an odd hesitancy, Laurent asked, "Is it different than with a man?"
"Yes," said Damen.

ahhhhhhhh ajsfdlk;ajds;lkf

Also I reiterate gah, the thought of future Laurent and Damen somewhere down the line with palace slaves in Akielon...! There's always time to try, Laurent bb, if you're curious.

(Also Damen's answer to this, or at least what he thinks: it's different with anyone. And then later on, when they finally have sex, his acknowledgement that it's never been like this for him, ever ahhh.)

MUCH MUCH LATER, after the Akielon attack on a border village:

"There are survivors," said Laurent. "I want you to question them."

I love the moments that feel like tests of Damen's loyalty and -- I love that this is what Laurent commands, and that Damen does it, and that Laurent sees.

Relaxed in the sunlight, Laurent watched him approach, as one expecting an arrival welcome and familiar.

!!!!!

This is after they ride for a day tracking and dodging Makedon's Akielon troops, and Laurent's just waiting for Damen at the end of the road, and he is SMILING and looking at Damen like somone FAMILIAR and WELCOME AHHHH. In his - six? years since Marlas, has Laurent EVER FELT THIS COMFORTABLE WITH SOMEONE, do you think, has he ever even begun to trust someone like he's really beginning to trust Damen, grown this genuinely fond of someone? Maybe - we only know what Damen sees, not what happened, but it's like - watch Laurent, this tightly-coiled ball of stress, loosen up and look forward to Damen being around <33333

Laurent said, "To get what you want, you have to know exactly how much you are willing to give up."

Only reason I'm quoting this is cause it sounds like he's talking to Aaron Burr. "You got more than you gave--" "And I wanted what I got. When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game; but you don’t get a win unless you play in the game."

Games with the Regent are dangerous ;___; and you are probably at risk of losing skin ;___;

Damen swung off his horse, and landed on one knee on the wet stones beside Laurent.
"I saw you fall." Damen heard the rough sound of his own voice. "Are you hurt?"

AHHH LOOK AT DAMEN GETTING TO PLAY SAVIORRRRRR HE LOVES IT SO MUCH, THIS WHOLE THING IS BASICALLY DAMEN AS A DISNEY HERO IT'S SO GREAT. I mean --

--he sees Laurent fall to the ground
--kills a man
--rushes to Laurent's side
--SWINGS OFF HIS HORSE
--lands on one knee
--LANDS
--ON
--ONE
--KNEE. HE IS ON ONE KNEE AT LAURENT'S SIDE. AND YES i AM IMAGINING SWING-TO-PROPOSAL AS ONE CONTINUOUS MOTION.
--and says, roughly
--"Are you hurt?"

*_______*

"I've never seen a throw like that," said Laurent. "I've never seen anything like it. Every time I see you fight, I wonder how it is Kastor got you in chains and onto a ship to my country."

President of the Damen Appreciation Society <33333 I love the reminder that Laurent hasn't forgotten Damen's background. IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE CARES OR SOMETHING.

"I didn't think he'd really try to kill me," he said. "After everything . . . even after everything. So you see I can be surprised."
Damen said, "It's not naive to trust your family."
"I promise you, it is."

I'LL TAKE HEARTBREAKING LINES THAT WILL MAKE YOU CRY FOR $100, ALEX

The clan leader stepped in close, too close to hit Laurent--close enough that he was
breathing all over Laurent when he slid his hand slowly down over Laurent's body.
Damen moved before he realised it, heard the sounds of impact and resistance, felt
the burn in his veins. His faculties were obliterated by anger. He was not thinking
about tactics. That man had laid hands on Laurent, and Damen was going to kill
him.

AHHH HERE WE GO SHOWTIIIIIIIIIME.

(AT THIS POINT IN TIME I HAVE READ KINGS RISING CHAPTER 1.5 BUT NOTHING PAST THAT. THIS IS WHAT I NEED DAMEN TO BE DOING IN CHAPTER 2, OKAY. THIS RIGHT HERE.)

To Laurent she said, "You fight well. It's a shame you do not have the size to breed great warriors. But you are not malformed. Your woman may not be displeased." Then, in the spirit of benevolence, "Your face is well balanced." She slapped him encouragingly on the back, "You have very long eyelashes. Like a cow. Come. We will sit together, drink, and eat meats. Your slave is virile. Later he will service at the coupling fire."

LOLOLOL this paragraph is one of my favorites in the book. LAURENT'S COW-LIKE LASHES AND WELL-BALANCED FACE. Vaskians are the best. (Also coupling fire! To add to Damen's brood!)

Then they dressed him in a Vaskian man's loincloth, a single leather string tied around the hips, then between the legs, with a hanging panel in front that could be lifted to one side for convenience at the appropriate time, as one of the women helpfully demonstrated. He weathered the demonstration.

Haha sorry I am enjoying Damen here so much, our stoic man.

"Mine has a little more fabric. Are you disappointed?"
"I would be," said Damen, rearranging his legs again, "if the lamp weren't behind you."

sexy flirtiiiiingggggggg brb flailing forever

How inflamed are you?"
"Stop it. I didn't drink the hakesh."
"I'm not sure that's quite what I asked," said Laurent.

no really this DIALOGUE. The is one of the most amazingly quotable chapters in the book.

"My size," said Laurent, "is the usual. I am not made in miniature. It's a problem of
scale, standing next to you."

<333333333333 forever

okay god I gotta go to sleep, I've just been updating this randomly through the day but. I have arrived at chapter 14 and I can't imagine my flailing at everything that comes after will be, uh, too relevant given that HOPEFULLY in a few hours I can begin reading book 3 (!!!). We'll see. SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE I GUESS.