The more I use and keep my boundary, the more I see it. The stronger I get. How obvious you are to me now. I feel throw up in my heart sometimes at how insanely clear it is. I am not scared of you or of myself with you. Yet I know how strong the stuff is. The method you use. I know it works. I have been a part of the part where it works.
I am not struggling with being friendly enough to not be rude anymore ( I could care less of being rude to you but for the sake of not digging in to your treat bag, I summon a no go zone ). I used to feel uncomfortable in person when I gave you grey rocks. Now? I don’t even flinch at your stupid grin or exasperation. You’re just a sick person with a sick heart and I will not give in to your incessant persistency. The stuff you don’t get bored of giving because you feed off of when the pressure cracks and makes victims. But I do not continue as victim. All though I will always have to deal with the caliber of your disorder, I am a surviving individual. I cannot control how you will show up, but I can control how I carry myself- and I choose strength, consistency and peace.