hello march 2021, welcome hope springs

March, the first month of spring has finally sprung on these latitudes! 

Though it’s just global warming madness that it was -10 degrees C one week and close to +10 C one week later. And we are so far away from reaching the 2030 sustainability goals. And too few people are willing to change their behaviour on their own, their own convenience trumps everything - and the world remains on fire. Every day is climate angst.

But in the here and personal now I have to admit I’m grateful for not having to deal with the freezing indoors situation we’ve been struggling with for nearly two months now. My electricity has been faulty for so long now, and the old heat pump is basically my only source of heat. It has not been pleasant. And my little furry posse deserves better in their old age too. 

But the catch 22 is, we’re in the middle of a pandemic hence I would never ever let some handyman in to look at whatever problems need fixing right now. And if the pandemic wasn’t an issue finances still are. 

I’m so looking forward to the day when I’ll be able to finally get things looked after on my little red house again. To be able to worry less, and feel more joy. Surely that’s not an awful lot to ask for, Universe?

I’m trying to be as kind as possible to myself now, I desperately need that after finishing the project managing of Vegoforum in mid February, stressing about money, being dispirited by the fact that my search for the dream job still remains in vain. And on top of that, not feeling like my usual self and strongly suspecting that what I thought was a heavy cold/flu in March/April 2020 was in fact Covid-19.

As I never took a covid-test when it was first made available last year, it will probably not show any signs of antibodies 11 months later if I take a test now. Still, gotta start somewhere, and I have a doctor’s appointment this week. A new health center within walking distance, so I have no idea about the doctors or the quality of health care. But at least it’s close and that kind of trumps everything these days, in a restricted pandemic life.

Being kind to myself also means reading as much as possible. I’m so grateful that despite suffering from brain fog and memory issues I’m able to read and enjoy books. This heap is library books only. At the moment I try to go there once a week to return and borrow books. In our current limited life that’s one little regular outing that brings me joy.

I’m attending a live online book club with Elizabeth Gilbert on March 30, so I need to finish my own copy of ’City of girls’ before that date too. 

Another thing I’ve noticed during this pandemic life is that my dreams are very vivid, intricate and laboursome. With an extremly limited life every little detail in books, TV, social media, chats, tiny interactions with people are brought into crazy life in my dreams. 

I’ve read about pandemic dreams (nightmares) and that we are many suffering from them. Though I can’t say I find them terrifying, but very exhausting as it feels there’s a whole other life that demands a lof of energy and gusto in my head while I sleep. I’m never really thoroughly rested when I wake up in the morning. 

Another thing I enjoy a lot now too, is the fact that I’m finally able to wear shoes and perky socks again. After months of icebug boots only, it’s such a relief! 

I’m thinking I should set up a little weekly shoe plan so I make sure I use my shoedrobe much better. And challenge myself to wear more heels regularly. Also a way to exercise different muscle groups. 

These days the littlest things matter more than ever I think.

 

I force myself to smile more, fake it til you nake it style, but it doesn’t come naturally as it used to. I’m planning to colour rinse my hair pink again for spring. As I feel tired and grey inside out now, I felt that could be a little welcome moodlifter. 

I’m continuing to search for that illusive dream job where passion meets purpose (communications manager for preferably a plantbased brand, but as long as it’s a company dedicated to sustainability I’m happy).

As freelancing via my own business really doesn’t give me the joy, growth and positive challenge it used to (never did I feel I would grow weary and tired of it, I mean, being your own boss, awesome, right?) I don’t feel it’s the viable option it should be in these times.

But as that dream quest is dispiritingly difficult (and it really really shouldn’t be!), I’m also looking at other reasonable jobs in line with my skills and experience. We all need to pay the bills, without completely selling our souls. 

Please, March, I’ve been asking your monthly family the same thing for a long time now, mostly in vain alas, but could you please bring positive vibes, joyous news and much needed new beginnings?! One year in limbo is quite enough me thinks. Thanks ever so much in hopeful advance. 

bye september, hey october

September went fast. And basically being totally absorbed by the fact that mid September I suddenly got a part time temp job until December 31st. A long story, it was all very sudden and linked to my volunteer work revolving around plantbased food and the environment.

As I'm studying Sustainability Science on 25% part-time, it fits quite well with a 50% part-time job. As this year has been crazy for us all, and continue to be so, it actually takes a lot more energy to keep juggling all this than it usually would do. But all in all, I'm very grateful for the opportunity to keep on learning. 

My main job task is organizing the three last Vegoforum events for the year, all digital via Zoom. One the day before my birthday, one in mid November and one in early December. And yes, it's a bit overwhelming when you get thrown into it like this, even if the work per se isn't super heavy. Well life is pretty heavy right now, thus even things that would normally be just fun and a good energizing challenge get a bit much at times. And obviously I wan't to do a great job, so...

:: The lack of decent photo uploading on Blogger is still infuriating. So this is all you get today. The fact that the not so great at vegan pastries cafe now has opened a sourdough bakery too, is another great thing about September. Because the bread is awesome. Especially the rolls and the levain.

:: Little mum and I have taken the commuter train to the end station (two stops from here) twice, to do bank errands and visit my favourite coffee chain Espresso House. Since we get there and home between 9.30-1pm there are very few people on the train it feels pretty okay. And just the thing of enjoying a soy latte and some trustworthy vegan treats again have been a highlight.

:: I finished the second part of the philosophy class at the beginning of September. So it was a clean slate for the sustainability course. We've had four seminars so far, of which two have been great (Sustainable economics and Environmental ethics), but one quite annoying as the concept of ecosystem service is infuriating, specieism at its finest I'd say.

:: We've had some glorious Indian summer days, so autumn has just slowly arrived. And summer dresses have been quite appropriate. Even if the weirdness of the average Swede still is to dress as if it's a cold autumn in late August already. And, obviously black and drab and lots of clothes is the informal dress code. Which I loath. Obviously.

:: I've ordered another batch of those wonderful vegan, palmoil-free Scottish soaps. Bliss.

:: I've also ordered some more tea. And actually, more again the other day. It's Cinnamon Bun Day (vegan recipe for them here!)on Sunday, and they had a small batch of special Cinnamon Bun tea blend this week only. As there won't be any vegan cinnamon buns for me this year alas, I can at least have a whiff and a sip of cinnamon bun tea.

:: I've watched a lot of seminars, some poor, others pretty great. I've finished books, I've started reading new books. I haven't been able to finish any new ones lately, so I'm again 7 books behind on my 55 books reading challenge alas.

:: I've done another colour refresh, this time the colour was Autumn Red. It was visible, but a lighter, more orange red than suits me and it was practically washed away after four hair washes. I'm feeling in the mood for something darker now in October, like last year.

:: I won a big bad of new vegan fruit toffees, it was lovely. And I haven't won anything for years now (oh 2015-2016...), so it was a very welcome surprise. 

:: My recent favourite TV-crush is Zoe's Extraordinary Playlist - if you haven't seen it already, you really should! It's funny, sad (prepare to cry during every episode), moving, insightful and obviously full of music. Loved it, binge watched every episode over 2 days. Miss it. If you, like me, enjoyed Ally McBeal, Glee and Pitch Perfect, you won't be disappointed!

:: My short and sweet summary of a month that so far have been the best one, me thinks, of the last six ones. There's more bits and pieces, I could write about. But this will have to do for now. Not being able to simply add photos is a nuisance, and now I need my beauty sleep.

I want to thank you, September, I think you were a sweetheart, despite the overall current life circumstances. And your surprises were mostly of a positive, uplifting kind. I'm very grateful for having met you.

You also gave me this unexpected fun public toilet selfie moment; Professor Pia and the Mystery of the Haunted Toilet. And I have the Velma Dinkley haircut to prove I can solve it!

Hello, October, my dear birthday month. You have a lot to prove, and so do I. Let's make this a really great, productive and professional month together, with extra bells and whistles, m'kay?