What to do, what to say
Nov. 16th, 2011 01:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phoenixJournal, journal, I don't know what to do with you, what to write here. Turn off comments and spam. Spam with comments enabled. Do something to get my head in gear and into words.
"Someone who writes a journal online" is a part of my identity that I like and want to keep, but I'm not sure what to make of that, or how to be it now when my head is quiet and I'm distant from my emotions and time is such that a day feels four hours long (and not just in Glitch!).
I've been writing, though I won't win Nano. That's such an exciting thing for me, to put words down and feel a story rising up to meet me. I reached a mental milestone a couple of months ago, when I felt that advice was starting to click with me in such a way that I was but a few steps from story writing. I heeded that click feeling, the subsequent ones, and now it's working. Now I've got myself on a beginning writer path, learning by encounter just what the writing manuals and suchlike mean when they talk about shaping a plot or dealing with transitions.
The biggest obstacle is that I try to stop myself daydreaming.
That's okay, though. It's a smaller obstacle than the old one: that there was no point to writing. Now that I sense a point to writing, a personal joy in it, I *can* write. And when I know I'm willing to put things into words, I'm more willing to allow myself into the unmapped spaces of my head, where it might get boring or claim to be empty.
The biggest obstacle is no longer that I have nothing to say. I don't have anything to say when I sit down and begin to type, but when I do, something forms. The blank page has nothing to say. Once a single word or line goes onto that page, it collaborates with me, it helps me dream something into being.
"Someone who writes a journal online" is a part of my identity that I like and want to keep, but I'm not sure what to make of that, or how to be it now when my head is quiet and I'm distant from my emotions and time is such that a day feels four hours long (and not just in Glitch!).
I've been writing, though I won't win Nano. That's such an exciting thing for me, to put words down and feel a story rising up to meet me. I reached a mental milestone a couple of months ago, when I felt that advice was starting to click with me in such a way that I was but a few steps from story writing. I heeded that click feeling, the subsequent ones, and now it's working. Now I've got myself on a beginning writer path, learning by encounter just what the writing manuals and suchlike mean when they talk about shaping a plot or dealing with transitions.
The biggest obstacle is that I try to stop myself daydreaming.
That's okay, though. It's a smaller obstacle than the old one: that there was no point to writing. Now that I sense a point to writing, a personal joy in it, I *can* write. And when I know I'm willing to put things into words, I'm more willing to allow myself into the unmapped spaces of my head, where it might get boring or claim to be empty.
The biggest obstacle is no longer that I have nothing to say. I don't have anything to say when I sit down and begin to type, but when I do, something forms. The blank page has nothing to say. Once a single word or line goes onto that page, it collaborates with me, it helps me dream something into being.
