Fandango’s Flashback Friday — July 10th

This was originally posted on July 10, 2017.

Crappy Caper

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Two thugs grab me off the street, pull a burlap sack over my head, and toss me into the back of a van. One of the ruffians is waiting in the driver’s seat, starts the engine, and speeds away while the two who grabbed me use ropes to secure my hands and feet in the back of the van.

I hear the driver ask his fellow kidnappers, “Where to now, guys?

The two men in the back of the van look at each other, which of course I can’t see because I have a burlap sack over my head, but which I imagine they would do when confronted with such a question.

One of them shouts to the driver, “Bruno, this whole caper was your idea. Don’t you have a plan or are you flying by the seat of your pants?”

“Dunno,” replies Bruno. “Hadn’t thought that far in advance. Ask the guy we grabbed what he thinks.”

“So, whaddya think?” one of the kidnappers in the back of the van asks me.

“Surprise me.”

“Hey Bruno, he says to surprise him.”

“No way,” Bruno calls back. “I’m going to drive around in circles until he tell us where to take him.”

“Take me home,” I yell back at the driver.

“Ha, ha, very funny,” Bruno replies. “Vinny, break one of his thumbs unless he tells you where we should take him.”

“Okay, Vinny, let’s not be hasty,” I say to whichever one of the kidnappers with me in the back of the van is Vinny. “This is an important decision. Give me a second to ponder it.”

“You got a minute to decide.”

I quickly toss around some options in my head. It can’t be in the city. They could drive the van around to the side of an abandoned building, pull me out of the van, and move me into the building without being noticed. Not a building.

Not a forest either. They could drive the van deep into the woods and no one would be around to see or hear me. So not a forest.

“Break his freakin’ thumb already,” I hear Bruno yell from the driver’s seat. “I’m using up all the gas.”

“Wait, wait!” I plead. “Give me just a few seconds more.”

An island is surrounded by water. You can’t drive a van right up to an island. They’d have to lift me out of the van and move me to a boat in order to get to the island. Surely someone would see a man with a burlap sack over his head, hands and feet bound, being carried by a couple of thugs from a van to a boat, and would call the police. Or maybe I’d be able to figure out a way to free myself and get away.

“Take me to an island,” I say.

“He says an island,” Vinny yells up to Bruno.

“What island?” Bruno yells back.

“What island?” Vinny asks me.

“Oh for crissake. What kind of incompetent, bumbling kidnappers are you three, anyway? This is your goddam crappy caper.”

“That’s right,” yelled Bruno from the front of the van, “but it’s your goddam crappy nightmare.”

My eyes flutter open and I stretch my arms out after waking up from my brief nap. “I just had the strangest dream,” I say aloud to no one in particular.


Today’s one-word prompt is “caper.”

Esther’s Weekly Writing Prompt — The Block Editor

Esther Chilton’s Weekly Writing Prompt this week is block.

Do you remember about six or seven years ago when WordPress started to discuss migrating to the Gutenberg editor, now referred to as the Block editor?

I vigorously resisted this whole migration to the Block editor. I didn’t see why, if the developers at WordPress were so thrilled with the new Block editor, they couldn’t offer it as a “new and better” option, while continuing to support the (mostly) beloved Classic editor.

In the iOS app for iPhones, WordPress gave us the choice to write using either the Classic editor or the Block editor. I continued to use the Classic editor because I found using the Block editor on my iPhone be very difficult. It was not designed for use on the relatively small screen of a mobile device. Maybe it worked well on a laptop, but it was shit on an iPhone.

I resented feeling that if I wanted to continue to blog on WordPress, I’d have to do so on a laptop because the Block editor was close to impossible to use on an iPhone. I figured that if the day ever came when WordPress no longer offered the Classic editor on iOS, that would be the day I would either find a different platform for my blog or I would just stop blogging.

That day arrived when WordPress removed the option on the iOS app to compose using the Classic editor. It was the Block editor or the highway. I chose the highway.

I set up a blog on Blogger. I didn’t like it. I tried Medium. I tried Substack. I didn’t like them either. So ultimately I capitulated. I figured I had to either embrace the Block editor on my iPhone or stop blogging altogether.

Once I made that decision and forced myself to learn the Block editor, I found that it wasn’t so bad after all. In fact, I quickly began to appreciate the Block editor and now I can’t imagine going back to the Classic editor again.

Who knew?

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — June 26th

This was originally posted on June 26, 2017

Locally Groan

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Pointing to a box full of zucchini on the table, Sara asked the teenage girl standing in the corner of the booth at the local, outdoor farmers’ market, “Are these zucchinis locally grown?”

“Yes,” the girl responded. “Everything at this booth was grown at our local family farm.”

“Just how local is your family farm?” Sara asked.

“Our farm is about ten miles south of the city,” the girl answered.

“Are they organic?” Sara asked?

“Oh yes, our farm is one hundred percent organic,” the girl said, beaming.

“How fresh are these zucchinis?”

“Just about everything we bring to this farmer’s market was harvested within the past week.”

“Just about?” Sara queried, one eyebrow raised in a skeptical manner.

“Well,” the girl said, “some items may have been picked or dug up before this past week, but most are from this week.”

“Most? What about the zucchinis?”

“Yes, I believe they are from this past week.”

“You believe?” Sara said. “You don’t know for sure?”

Starting to get flustered, the teenager stammered, “I, I, I’m pretty sure.”

“Were these picked yesterday? Friday? Tuesday?”

The girl made a barely audible groan. “I’m sorry, I don’t know precisely what day these zucchinis were picked.”

“Don’t get sassy with me, young lady,” Sara said in a rather loud voice.

The girl’s father, who was at the other end of the booth loading more produce onto an adjoinng table had been quietly watching what was unfolding. He walked over to his daughter’s side. “Is there something I can help you with?” he said.

“Yes,” Sara replied. “I just want to know how fresh these zucchinis are and this insolent little girl doesn’t seem to be able to answer my question.”

“I’m so sorry that my daughter was unable to help you,” the father said. “Here, I’m going to give you this zucchini for free as a gesture of goodwill.” He handed her the largest zucchini from the box.

“Thank you,” Sara said.

“No problem,” responded the father. “And if you really want to know how fresh that zucchini is, why don’t you simply stick it up your ass?”


This post was written for today’s WordPress one-word prompt: Local.

WDP — I Don’t

Daily writing prompt
How do you use social media?

The short answer to this question is that I don’t use social media at all. 

Despite the image I selected to use at the top of this post, I’m not opposed to social media or the people who use it. Hey, if you’re into social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, X (formerly Twitter), Snapchat, Bluesky, or TikTok, that’s fine. Whatever floats your boat. Me, though, I am not active on any of those social media sites.

My wife used to have a Twitter account — she deleted it after Elon Musk ruined it — and now she is on Bluesky. I remember how she almost always got angry or upset when she read the Twitter tweets. Who needs that?

My kids have Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok accounts where they post a lot of photos and videos, but they also send those same photos to us via email or texts because they know we aren’t on those social media sites anymore.

Some might argue that WordPress is a social media site, but I disagree. It does have a social aspect to it via the exchange of comments. But it’s primarily a blog hosting site that allows us to express ourselves through our posts. The community aspect of WordPress is icing on the cake.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — April 3rd

This was originally posted on April 3, 2018

Exploring Original Thought

Original thought

It recently occurred to me that I have never had an original thought in my entire life. Neither have you, most likely.

There is an actual theory about this. It’s referred to as the Original Thought Theory. I don’t know who originally thought of the Original Thought Theory, but based upon the theory itself, it wasn’t an original thought.

The Original Thought Theory suggests that anything anyone can ever think of has already been thought of by someone else. Do you believe that?

Even the Bible doesn’t buy the notion of original thought. In Ecclesiastes 1:9, it reads:

That which has been is what will be,
That which is done is what will be done,
And there’s nothing new under the sun.

So what do we mean by “original thought?” First, let’s explore the word “original.” Various online dictionaries define the word as new, fresh, inventive, novel. It’s something created, undertaken, or presented for the first time.

It’s much easier to use the concept of “original” in terms of physical things, especially inventions. The iPhone was the original smartphone (or, arguably, the BlackBerry was). How about the IBM PC? Was that the original, mass-market personal computer? Johannes Gutenberg invented the original mechanical printing press. The Ford Model T was the original mass-produced automobile.

But the concept of “original” when it comes to thought is a different proposition. The word “thought” is defined as “the product of mental activity.” So an original thought is something new, fresh, and inventive that is the product of mental activity.

How can you know if a thought you or someone else had was uniquely new, fresh, or novel, as well as one that was thought for the first time…ever?

Apple on Newtons Head

Was Sir Isaac Newton, who wrote the Law of Universal Gravitation, the first to observe and describe the concept of gravity? Newton may have proved the existence of gravity using mathematics, but did it occur to no other human being before Newton that what goes up must come down? I can’t prove that it did, but I think it’s unlikely that it did not.

Think about the history of humanity on this planet. Think about the billions and billions of thoughts that human beings have had throughout history. What is the likelihood that you or I will actually have a truly original thought, a thought no other human being in the history of recorded time has ever thought?

Thoughts may be unique to a person, but they are formulated by a wealth of other thoughts, data, emotions, and perspectives. If someone presents a different perspective and your response is, “I never thought of it that way,” is your revelation an original thought or just a new take on an existing idea? Is formulating a new opinion about something the same as having an original thought?

Even if I discovered a new and different way of thinking about something, it may be new and different for me, but can I know for sure that no one else has also thought about that same thing the same way I have? Of course I can’t.

So, do I feel bad that I have never had an original thought and never will? No, not at all. I am happy that I possess the wherewithal to think rational thoughts, weigh the evidence, internalize other perspectives, and draw my own conclusions.

And then, in my blog, I post about such conclusions, observations, and perspectives in what I hope is a reasonably original manner. Original to me, anyway.


Written for today’s WordPress one-word prompt, “explore.”

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — February 20th

This was originally posted on February 20, 2018.

Billable Hours

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“I can’t take this anymore,” William said as he walked into Randy’s office and threw himself down onto one of the two chairs opposite Randy’s desk.

“Can’t take what?” Randy asked his coworker.

“This constant pressure for more and more billable hours,” William answered. “Did you see the latest memo? They are now expecting us to bill no less than 50 hours a week in order to make quota. What ever happened to the forty-hour workweek?”

“But you have been averaging around 55 billable hours a week. So what’s the problem?” Randy asked.

“It’s just such a grind,” William responded. “And now they want us to record our billable time in six minute increments instead of ten minute increments.”

“I hear you,” Randy said. “Here’s what you gotta do. If you think about a client while you’re in the shower or when you’re taking a dump, keep track of it and enter it into your hours log. If you have a short dream about a project you’re working on, when you wake up, remember to record it. When you’re reading the morning paper and drinking your coffee. When you’re driving to the office. Count every single minute.”

“That’s bullshit and I’m fucking tired of it, Randy.”

“I know,” Randy said sympathetically, “but it’s part of the job and we get paid handsomely to do it.”

“Well, I’ve had it,” William announced. “I’m going to march into Ted’s office and quit!”

About an hour later William returned to Randy’s office and sat down opposite him. “You still here? I thought you quit,” Randy said.

“I intended to,” William said, “But Ted talked me out of it.”

“So no more fretting about billable hours?” Randy asked.

“Not any more,” William said. “Ted promoted me and I’m your new boss. So let’s talk about your billable hours.”


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “constant.”

Sunday Poser — Images

For today’s Sunday Poser, Sadje wants to know:

Do you use images in your posts? And do you feel that they enhance the impact of your writing? What are your usual go to sources for images?

When I first started blogging in 2005, I was using Blogger and, quite honestly, I didn’t know how to add images to my posts. So my posts were all text. Then, after a year or two on Blogger, I switched to Typepad. I figured out how to attach images to my posts in Typepad, but most of the images were my own photos, and most of my posts didn’t have photos attached.

Then I moved over to WordPress and found it was pretty easy to attach images I found on sites like Pixabay, Unsplash, and Pexels. Since I started blogging on WordPress, nearly all of my posts have one image attached, while for some posts, although not that many, I attach multiple images.

I would often spend more time searching the internet and photo apps like those mentioned above to find the “perfect” photo or image to with my words. But there were times when I would finally find a good — but not perfect — illustrative image and would go back and rewrite portions of the text to more closely match the image.

Then, about a year and a half ago, I discovered AI apps that could create “perfect” images to illustrate my words. I would provide text instructions on what I wanted the image to look like, and the apps would render an image that was spot on. There are iPhone apps like Ideogram Leonardo, and dozens others in the App Store, and I also use AI engines like Google Gemini, Microsoft Copilot, ChatGPT, and Perplexity to generate images based upon my text instructions. I would say that around two-thirds of the images I include in my blog posts these days are AI-generated images.

By the way, to save space in my media folder and to enable my posts to load faster, I always resize (shrink) the images (whether captured on photo sites or AI-generated) I attach to no more than 640 pixels wide and a height proportional to the aspect ratio (shape) of the original image. The quality is still good, but the image sizes can be shrunk from multiple megabytes down to several hundred kilobytes.

So yes, I use images. And yes, I do believe they enhance the impact of my writing.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — October 17th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term subscribers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about it? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Flashback Friday post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on any day this past year and link to that post in a comment.


This was originally posted on October 17, 2017

Perspective

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“That’s strange,” Carl said to his wife as the two were walking past their town’s Baptist church.

“What’s strange, Hon,” Maggie asked.

“That sign in front of the church,” he responded. “What a strange sign to be put up in front of a church.”

Maggie looked at the sign and then looked back at Carl. “What’s so strange about that sign?”

Carl looked at Maggie in disbelief. “Seriously?” he said. “You don’t think a sign that reads ‘God is nowhere’ in front of a church isn’t strange?”

Maggie looked carefully at the sign. “You’re reading it wrong, silly. It says ‘God is now here.’”

Now it was Carl who looked carefully at the sign. “No, that’s not what it says. Look at the spacing of the letters. It clearly says ‘God is nowhere.’ Can’t you see that?”

Maggie grabbed Carl’s hand and pulled him toward the church entrance. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m going to prove that I’m right and you’re wrong.”

The couple walked through the door and started walking down the center aisle. They saw the church pastor toward the alter and walked up to him. “Excuse me,” Maggie said. “We have a question about your sign.”

The pastor smiled and asked, “How can I help you?”

Carl said, “Does that sign out front say ‘God is now here’ or ‘God is nowhere’”?

“That is an excellent question,” the pastor said. “What do you think it says?”

Carl was getting a little irritated. “It’s your sign. Why would you ask us what it means.”

The pastor’s smile broadened. “You know, I knew putting up that sign would be risky, but it seems to be doing exactly what I hoped it would do.”

“And what is that?” Maggie asked.

“Initiating a discussion about God by people just like you who wonder what the sign means.” He said. “Welcome to my church. So, what do you believe? Is God now here or is God nowhere?”


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “risky.”

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — August 29th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term subscribers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about it? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Flashback Friday post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on any day this past year and link to that post in a comment.


This was originally posted on August 29, 2017.

My Life of Rhyme

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I wake up
I wash up
I brew a cup

I log on
I blog on
I work on

I eat
I meet
I greet

I stare
I share
I care

I eat some more
I do a chore
I’m such a bore

I read some blogs
I drop some logs
I fix some clogs

I earn my pay
I end my day
I hit the hay


I am not a fan of poetry.

This post is a poem.

Or my version of poem.

It has no set meter.

But it has rhyme.

Albeit forced at times.

And it has stanzas.

So it is a poem.

Or not.

I don’t know.

I am not a fan of poetry.


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “rhyme.”

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — July 18th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term subscribers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about it? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Flashback Friday post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on any day this past year and link to that post in a comment.


This was originally posted on July 18, 2017.

Language Lesson

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Ray ran into the house from the backyard to find his aunt standing just inside the door. “Do you mind me?” his aunt scolded.

Ray was confused by the question and the way it was asked. “What do you mean?”

She repeated her question, clearly angry at her nine-year-old nephew.

Ray stood frozen, trying to decide how to answer a question he didn’t understand. He’d heard people use the word “mind,” but never the way his aunt had used it. His mother might ask him if he would mind doing this or that for her. His father would say that his mother constantly changed her mind.

Ray finally interpreted his aunt’s question about whether he minded her to mean, “Do I bother you?”

“No, I don’t mind you at all!” Ray was proud of himself for figuring out what she meant by her question, but he still didn’t know why she asked it. So he posed that question to her. “Why do you want to know if I mind you?”

Exasperated his aunt said, “I told you to not soil your clothes before we left for church. But look at you! You’ve got mud all over your pants cuffs and your shoes are crusted with mud.”

Ray looked down and saw that his pants and shoes were, indeed, quite soiled. Then he realized that when she asked, “Do you mind me?” she meant “Do you listen to me?”

This was how a nine-year-old boy first discovered how nuanced the English language can be.


This post was written for today’s WordPress one-word prompt, “soil.”