naked

JYProvocative Question #38 — The Naked Truth

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Our host for the weekly provocative question challenge is Jewish Young Professional, aka JYP. This week’s question was inspired by National Nude Day, which will be celebrated this weekend on July 14th. Her question is:

What are your thoughts on society’s attitude towards nudity? Do you think society is too uptight around nudity? Do you think society is too lax about nudity?

I won’t go so far as to call myself an exhibitionist, but I was never that shy about showing off my body. Not that I had a great body. I was actually kind of on the skinny side most of my life, but it was my body to show or not, as I pleased.

And yes, in my younger days, I would go to nude beaches on occasion and bare all. Of course, I don’t do that anymore. When you reach a certain age, it’s not such a pretty picture anymore.

As to my thoughts on society’s attitude toward nudity, I think Americans are a bunch of prudes. It probably dates back to the Puritans, or not. I don’t know. But my point is, why does our society object to the seeing the human body naked, but doesn’t object to violence? Some guy walks around naked and he gets arrested for indecent exposure. Same guy walks around with his gun exposed and it is called open carry and he’s got the law on his side in most states. Where are our priorities?

And before you ask, no, I am not participating in National Nude Day on Sunday.

WDP — Cold Weather

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Daily writing prompt
How do you feel about cold weather?
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Generally speaking, I prefer cold weather to hot weather. When the weather is cold, you can dress for it — jackets, scarves, sweaters, hats, gloves, etc. — to keep warm. But in the summer, when it’s really hot and muggy, short of staying inside an air conditioned building, there’s not much you can do to escape the heat and humidity. Sure, you can strip naked, but you’d be likely to get arrested for doing so in most places outside of your home.

That doesn’t mean I like extreme cold, either. I lived in Chicago for three years and when the temperatures dipped down to forty degrees below zero before windchill, which they did a few times while I lived there, I didn’t like that one bit.

Before we moved to the San Francisco Bay Area, my wife and I lived in Massachusetts, where the winters were frigid and snowy, which was one of the factors that led us to move all the way across the country.

Here, winters are cool, but not really cold. Rarely does the temperature where we live dip below freezing. Unfortunately, our summers on the East Bay can get very hot — 100°F or more multiple times — between mid-June and mid-September.

That explains my being naked in my house (and sometimes in my backyard) in the summer. No peeking!

October Blog Battle: Dream

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I dont know if this is kosher, but when when I saw this month’s Blog Battle with the word “dream,” I remembered a post I wrote back in August of 2017 about recurring dreams.

So, I thought I’d repost it here. If I’m breaking the rules, so be it. I guess I’ll be disqualified from winning any prizes.

Recurring Dreams

Recurring dreams are those that we experience repeatedly over a long period. According to Google, most people have recurring dreams. Do you?

I do. I’ve experienced three different recurring dreams throughout my life. That said, they’re far less frequent now that I’m an old fart than they were when I was younger fart. 

Recurring Dream #1 – The Final Exam

final exam schedule

It takes place when I was in college, which I’ve been out of for decades. But even today I occasionally have a dream about being ill-prepared for a final exam. It generally goes like this.

Today is the day of a final exam for one of my courses. I had cut most of the classes for this course and hadn’t done any of the required reading. It had been so long since I last attended class that I couldn’t remember the location of the classroom.

I finally arrive at the room where the class was scheduled to meet, but no one is there. I find out that the exam has moved to a different location, but I don’t know where.

I am in a state of panic because I need a passing grade in this particular course in order to graduate, but not only am I totally unprepared to take the final exam, I don’t even know where it is being given.

I wake up from the dream never having found the exam room or taken the exam, but knowing that the outcome was an epic failure. I am drenched in sweat because of the dream, but as consciousness slowly sets in, I feel an enormous sense of relief that it was just a dream.

Recurring Dream #2 – The Naked Truth

dreams_naked

This next recurring dream starts out when I leave my house in the morning heading to the office. I’m stark naked. At first it seems completely natural and I’m not at all self-conscious about having nothing on.

But at some point in the dream, as I interact with others, I become painfully aware that I am naked. It’s an “oh shit, what the hell was I thinking?” moment. I spend the rest of the dream completely mortified, trying to figure out how to cover up my nakedness or to flee the scene entirely with some shred of dignity intact.

As with the dream about the final exam, when I wake up, I am so relieved to find out that I was only dreaming.

Recurring Dream #3 –I’m flying

In this recurring dream, I can fly. I start walking, lift my arms toward the sky, and suddenly I’m heading up, floating above the ground, rising above the trees, looking down at the landscape below. It’s exhilarating to be free from the tethers that bind me to the earth below.

I have no idea how I gained this incredible ability to fly, and while I’m up there savoring the experience, I am occasionally troubled by what might happen if this amazing gift of flight were to leave as suddenly and mysteriously as it appeared. But it never does, and, when I wake up, I am saddened that it was but a dream.

Okay. I’ve shared with you my three types of recurring dreams. Now it’s your turn.

Tell Dr. Fandango all about your recurring dreams.

Let’s Just Stay in the Cabin

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“Why don’t we just stay in the air conditioned cabin?” Barry asked his wife, Sarah. “It’s so hot outside and the humidity has got to be close to 100%.”

“Barry, this is a naturist camp for mature adults,” Sarah said. “If you want to cool down, strip and go jump into the lake.

Barry looked at her and said, “I’m not so sure I’m into being naked in front of an audience, Sara. What if I get an erection?”

Sara, who had already started to remove her clothing, chuckled. “Nobody is going to be focused on your junk. And let me clarify something. We discussed this and you had agreed to coming to this place.”

“Well, in hindsight,” Barry said, “I think this is a big mistake. Plus, I don’t like the idea of my wife exposing her charms to everyone at this camp.”

“Fine, Barry,” Sarah said. “We’ll be here for a few days and ease into it. In the meantime, we can stay here in the cabin.” Sarah, now completely naked, winked at her husband and said, “I packed a few toys with me to keep us occupied in case you chickened out. I hope you’ll be, um, up for that.”

Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (humidity), The Daily Spur (mature), Your Daily Word Prompt (audience), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (junk), My Vivid Blog (clarify), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (mistake), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (toys).

WDYS — Bible Words

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Mom and Dad encourage me to read the Bible and I love the wonderful stories in that book. But sometimes there are passages in the Bible that I find a little confusing, and Mom and Dad always tell me that I can ask them questions any time I don’t understand something.

One evening after dinner I was in my room reading the Bible and there was a term that I didn’t understand. Mom and Dad were in their bedroom, so I knocked on the door, but they didn’t answer. I knew they were in there because I could hear them breathing.

I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. What I saw was jaw dropping. They were on the bed with no clothes on and Dad was doing push-ups on top of Mom. I gasped and Dad looked at me, pulled the bedsheets over the two of them, and asked me what I wanted. I said, “I’m sorry to interrupt your exercising, Dad, but there’s a word in the Bible that I don’t understand.”

“What word is that, son?” he asked.

“It’s begat,” I said. “B-e-g-a-t.”

Mom and Dad both burst out laughing. I’m still not sure why.

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See prompt. Photo credit: Ben White @ Unsplash.

Pow! Bang! Zoom!

Fandango8 Comments

“Why do you always try to needle me into doing things I don’t want to do?” Ralph said to his wife, Alice.

Alice pulled the TV remote out of Ralph’s hand, pointed it toward the television and zapped it off. “Ralph Kramden,” she said, “I’m tired of our life together. Since you retired from the bus company, all you do, day and night, is watch TV. It’s a sickness within you, Ralph, and I’ve had it. I’ve tried various and sundry approaches to get you up and off that sofa and to motivate you to do something, anything, besides watch that goddam TV, but nothing works. I could parade in front of you buck naked and you wouldn’t take your eyes away from that damn screen.”

“One, two, three, four….”

“Are you doing a countdown, Ralph?” Alice asked.

“Yeah,” Ralph said, “and by the time I reach ten, you either have to strip naked and strut for me, hand me back the remote and leave me alone, or it’s pow, bang, zoom, you’re going to the moon, Alice.”

Written for these daily prompts: E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (needle), My Vivid Blog (remote), Ragtag Daily Prompt (zap), The Daily Spur (sickness), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (sundry), and Word of the Day Challenge (countdown).

Beating the Heat

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It’s sweltering outside and the air conditioning is on the fritz, so I suggested to my husband that we strip naked, get in the car, turn the air conditioning on, and drive around town to stay cool. He balked.

He’s aged into such a meek, mild-mannered guy. He’s lost the sense of adventure he once had, and that adventuresome nature was one of the qualities he had that attracted me to him. But the reason we don’t have functioning air conditioning in our house is because he’s too parsimonious to spend the money on having it fixed. He claims that all of those HVAC repairman are venal people whose intentions are to swindle old folks like us and he doesn’t want to be abused by those con artists.

But I suppose he’s right about not wanting to strip naked and ride around town aimlessly in an air conditioned car. First of all, that wouldn’t be environmentally prudent. But on top of that, given my old, saggy boobs and his ample beer belly, I don’t think exposing our old bodies to our neighbors would be his favorite way to beat the heat.

So I finally suggested a romantic bubble bath and, believe it or not, he agreed. I guess he still has a few adventurous bones in his body.

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (sweltering), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (meek), Word of the Day Challenge (parsimonious), Your Daily Word Prompt (venal), The Daily Spur (abused), and My Vivid Blog (favorite).

The Show Must Go On

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“Do you have a qualm about your role in the play?” the director asked James.

James was slow to respond to the director’s question, and the others in the cast thought they could actually see the wheels turning inside of James’ head. “May I have some water?” James asked. “Suddenly I’m very thirsty.”

“Sure,” the director said, motioning to another cast member to fetch a bottle of water and hand it to James. “So, are you okay with this role, James?”

“Well, yes,” James said, “but I don’t understand why I have to be….”

“James,” the director said, “your role is that of a sea creature that has just emerged from the ocean and is experiencing human sentience for the first time in its life.”

“Yes, I understand that,” James said, “but is it really necessary for me to perform this scene….”

“Yes, James,” The director said. “You are a primitive creature stepping out from the depths of the sea as you evolve into human form, so for the sake of authenticity, you must be naked, totally naked, in this scene.”

“Yes, I get it,” James said. “But….”
EFBFF48D-5985-4819-8167-FD232656745D“James, I am confident that once you’ve rehearsed this scene enough times, and when we’re ready for opening night,” the director said, “you won’t have to be concerned about the erection you are now, um, displaying.”

“I understand,” James said. “No matter how hard, the show must go on.”

Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (qualm), Ragtag Daily Prompt (slow), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (cast), The Daily Spur (thirsty), Daily Addictions (sea), and Your Daily Word Prompt (sentience).

#100WW — Our Time Will Come

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E40384EE-3E85-47D1-85C0-72B8F0F02EDE“I don’t understand,” she thought as she sat in a chair, “how it’s possible. It’s just not fair. We mannequins are surrounded by clothing. It’s all around us. And yet here we are, as naked as the day we were manufactured.”

“I know,” thought the headless silver mannequin standing next to her. “This is mortifying. There are racks of clothing items, and here we are, exposed to the world.”

The other headless mannequin thought, “The humans think we have no feelings, no pride, no shame.”

“Don’t worry,” the seated mannequin thought. “Our time will come soon enough. Then they’ll pay.”

(100 word)

Written for this week’s 100 Word Wednesday prompt from Bikurgurl.