bullshit

One-Liner Wednesday #2

Fandango14 Comments

I know I already posted my response to Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday prompt, but I couldn’t resist publishing this quote remarkable quote from Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani.

“We’ve got lots of theories, we just don’t have the evidence.”

It came out at yesterday’s House Select Committee hearing that, in the ongoing attempt to overturn election results in service of Donald Trump’s Big Lie about voter fraud in his defeat by Joe Biden, Rudy Giuliani told the Republican speaker of the Arizona house, Rusty Bowers, “We’ve got lots of theories, we just don’t have the evidence.”

The problem with what Giuliani said to Bowers is that he, Trump, and all of Trump’s liars, knew full well that their “theories” were 100% bullshit, but they kept on pushing the message. And remarkably still do to this day.

WDYS — The Same Old Story

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Well, at least he’s consistent. He’s either way late or he just doesn’t bother showing up at all, she thought. How many times was she going to put herself through this? “This is bullshit,” she said aloud as she leaned her back against window of the restaurant where he had agreed to meet her for dinner.

It was the same old story. He would say he was sorry, would come up with one lame excuse or another, and would promise her that it wouldn’t happen again. But she knew him and she knew that it would continue to happen as long as she let him get away with it. She was so tired of it, of him, of herself. So this is going to end now, tonight, she thought.

She headed back to where she had parked her car, got inside, and was about to start the engine when her phone vibrated. His text message read, “Hung up at work, babe. Rain check? Tomorrow, same time, same place?”

She sat in her car staring at the screen on her phone. One minute. Two minutes. She was so tempted to respond, “Sure.” That’s what she would have done before tonight. But not now, not anymore.

She took a deep breath and typed, “Goodbye.” Then she turned off her phone and drove home to her husband and kids.

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See? prompt. Photo credit: Jayson Hinrichsen @ Unsplash.

FFfPP — It’s Not Going to Happen

Fandango3 Comments

Isaac took off his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes. He stood up and walked into the kitchen where Hillary was preparing dinner. He knew what he was about to tell her would upset her, but he also knew that he couldn’t do what she had asked of him.

“How’s it going, sweetie?” Hillary asked as Isaac entered the kitchen.

“Listen, Hil,” Isaac said. “It’s not gonna happen.”

Hillary stopped what she was doing. “What’s not going to happen? What are you talking about?”

“I know how important your religion is to you, Hil,” Isaac said, “and I’ve spent the last four days locked away carefully reading the Bible.”

Hillary raised one eyebrow and said, “Yes, so?”

“So,” Isaac said, “it’s like reading a mashup of a fairytale and a soap opera.”

Hillary started to cry. “It’s God’s word. How can you say such a cruel thing?”

“I’m so sorry, Hil,” Isaac said. “I know you want me to embrace your religion and to share your beliefs, but I just can’t. It’s mythology and superstition and fantasy and I can’t take any of it seriously.”

“Then I can’t marry you, Isaac,” Hillary said.

“I know, Hil, I know.”

Written for Roger Shipp’s Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner. Photo credit: Morguefile.

#WDYS — Philosophy of Life

Fandango22 Comments

Her ancient face was etched deeply by the years of living a life with the hardihood of a woman of her generation.

“Great grandchild,” she said, taking me to task, “you should not be the kind of man who wallows in the muddy swamp of scuttlebutt. You need to fight the urges you might have to reveal the personal and private business of others. There may be recondite factors in play for which you have no knowledge or understanding.”

I blushed with embarrassment, “Great grandmother,” I said, “you are a very wise woman. I mustn’t be the purveyor of rumor and innuendo.

“That’s right, great grandchild,” she said.

“Great grandmother,” I said, “to what do you attribute your wisdom?”

“I have gained my wisdom from having lived a long, fruitful, happy, and healthy life,” she said to me. “And I have grown even wiser by embracing my fundamental philosophy of life.”

“What is your philosophy of life, great grandmother?” I asked.

She gave me a knowing smile and said, “No bullshit.”

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See? prompt. Photo credit: Pisauikan@Pixabay. Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (hardihood), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (scuttlebutt), Word of the Day Challenge (urges), The Daily Spur (reveal), and Your Daily Word Prompt (recondite).

The War on Thanksgiving

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Armed turkey From somewhere deep within the sick, bizarre mind of Donald Trump, he told his supporters at a rally in Florida that he wouldn’t let the “radical left” change Thanksgiving’s name. After taking credit for making it okay for Americans to say “Merry Christmas” once again, Trump said, “As we gather for Thanksgiving, you know, some people want to change the name Thanksgiving. They don’t want to use the term Thanksgiving.”

It’s not real clear who on the left Trump believes is trying to change the name of Thanksgiving, which is a secular American holiday. However, it is clear where he got this crazy notion.Fox News War on ThanksgivingApparently some of the “fair and balanced” on-air personalities at Fox News have claimed that progressives in America are trying to “cancel” Thanksgiving. This conclusion was seemingly based on a single article which noted the climate impact of the American holiday.

The article, which appeared in HuffPost, is an examination of the carbon footprint of various parts of the Thanksgiving traditional meal, plus the travel made by the 50 million Americans to visit family. This triggered a series of Fox News shows decrying it as the start of a new “War on Thanksgiving.”

So Trump, watching his favorite channel, ran with this bogus War on Thanksgiving nonsense and warned his adoring fans at a rally to beware of this insidious plot by the big, bad liberals to deprive America of Thanksgiving.

And of course, to give their beloved Trump cover, Fox News framed Trump’s baseless claim with the following headline: “Trump vows not to change the name of Thanksgiving despite cries from the ‘radical left.’”

I am sitting here in our clean house with the aromas of dinner cooking in the oven and on the stove as we await our guests to arrive. But it’s really hard to have a pleasant Thanksgiving when I read about bullshit like this.

Especially when it comes from the mouth of the president of my country.

Truth in Jeopardy

Fandango5 Comments

64163B3E-707C-44A4-9E6D-2B56B1240679.jpeg“I was just reading about that on some blog earlier today,” Jeff said.

“Damn, Jeff, I would have thought it unlikely that you’d be interested in that,” Carolyn said.

“Are you kidding me?” Jeff said. “Who wouldn’t be interested in the huge schism between the President and the truth?”

“I know,” Carolyn said, “but you’ve always seemed so apolitical.”

“Well, I’ve dabbled a little in political stuff to some extent,” Jeff said, “but that moron in the White House instigated this assault on truth with his constant lying, the latest of which is his lie about the path of the hurricane. He even went so far as to alter an official National Weather Service map with his Sharpie. I’m on the side of accuracy instead of his deceitful ways and his bullshit. I didn’t think I could ever have imagined that the actions and words of the head of our government would put the very notion of truth in jeopardy.”

Written for these daily prompts: Weekly Prompts (reading), Word of the Day Challenge (unlikely), Ragtag Daily Prompt (schism), Your Daily Word Prompt (dabble), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (instigate), The Daily Spur (accuracy), and Daily Addictions (could).

Twittering Tales — The Letters

Fandango3 Comments

57EC81B1-96E3-4D91-97F5-55F413B946D4“Here!” she said, dropping the bundle of letters on his desk. “Keep them or toss them. It doesn’t matter to me. Everything you wrote in them is bullshit. You said you loved me, begged me to wait for you. I did. But you’re not the same man you were when you wrote these. Goodbye.”

(279 characters)

Written for this week’s Twittering Tales prompt from Kat Myrman. Photo credit: Suzy Hazelwood at Pexels.com.

To Watch or Not to Watch

Fandango27 Comments

CF4728FB-9BA6-49A6-9874-F3941702CBD3That is the question. I’m torn. Do I tune into Donald Trump’s State of the Union speech tonight, where he’s being handed a figurative megaphone to spew his lies and his divisiness? He claims he’s going to be talking about unity, but to him, unity means uniformity. It means supporting him unquestioningly, uniting behind him. The kind of unity Senator Lindsey Graham has called for, where he has threatened Republicans who don’t back President Trump on his proposed border wall, which Graham calls “the defining moment of his presidency.” Unity. Yeah, right.

I am tempted to skip the State of the Union because my bullshit meter is full and there’s just no room to overwrite it with more of Donald Trump’s nonsense. And when I think about all of the other possibilities for how I could spend that time: reading a book, reading and writing posts, watching a comedy or drama on TV, listening to upbeat music that I can hum along with, or whatever, why waste my time watching that moron?

I have to admit that I’m considering recording the SOTU on my DVR, just in case he says something truly important.

Yeah, right.

Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (megaphone), Your Daily Word Prompt (overwrite), Word of the Day Challenge (possibilities), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (hum).

 

Two-Thirds

Fandango27 Comments

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Do you want to hear something cool? Two-thirds of the visitors to my blog today liked my posts. Well, these visitors clicked on the “Like” button, anyway. Perhaps some of them did so without even reading my posts.

But what’s with the one-third who visited my blog today, presumably read one or both of my posts and didn’t click “Like”?

Did they accidentally stumble upon my blog and leave without reading it? Did my post pop up in their Reader and they opened it, read the first sentence or two, and then moved on?

Or did they read a post and deliberately decide that it it was not like-worthy? If that’s the case, that sucks.

Okay, perhaps I’m being a bit melodramatic and whiny. After all, as John Lydgate said, “You can’t please all of the people all of the time.” And as Sly Stone pointed out, “Different stokes for different folks.”

Besides, I don’t blog simply to generate a bunch of likes. I blog to express myself and to creatively exercise my mind.

So from this day forward I’m going to focus solely on writing entertaining, informative, engaging, and witty posts. And if not everyone likes my posts, well, so what? It’s no big deal, right?

Bullshit! I want everyone to like every post. Tell me you don’t too!

Alternative Facts

Fandango1 Comment

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Environmental Protection Agency head Scott Pruitt is lying to America. On multiple Sunday morning news shows a few weeks ago, the EPA chief was telling anyone who would listen that the coal industry in the US has grown by more than 50,000 jobs during the first quarter of 2017.

Unfortunately, that is total bullshit. The US Mine Health and Safety Administration reported that the average number of coal industry jobs increased by fewer than 600 during the first three months of 2017.

Hmm. More than 50,000 versus fewer than 600. The figures quoted by Pruitt must have come directly from the Trump administration’s Ministry of Truth.

According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are currently only 51,000 jobs in the entire coal mining industry. And of those 51,000 jobs, only around 15,000 are actually working in the mines.

Simple Arithmetic

But wait. If there are currently only 51,000 total mine industry workers and, as Pruitt claims, there were more than 50,000 new mine industry jobs in the first quarter of this year alone, that would mean — wait, let me do the math — that would mean there could have been only 1,000 coal mining industry jobs in existence at the end of last year. Simple arithmetic, right?

Meanwhile, slate.com noted that there are 69,000 bowling industry workers in the US. That’s 18,000 more than coal industry workers. There are 20,000 professional dancers in this country, while there are only 15,000 actual coal miners. There are more drywall installers, more event planners, more zoologist, and more skin care specialists than there are miners.

So why is Pruitt lying to the American public? Why is Trump putting so much emphasis on saving a relatively small and dying industry?

The question is who benefits? Follow the money people. Follow the money.