Month: December 2021

The New Year’s Eve Party

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“I saw you getting a bit too pally with Fred when you all were giving your drunken rendition of Auld Lang Syne at the party last night,” Tim said to his wife.

“Oh no,” Paula sarcastically said. “Surely that must mean that civilization as we know it has come to an end. I’ve got a headache. Can you bring me some Advil?”

“That’s because you way overdid it on the champagne.”

“For crissake, Tim, it was a New Year’s Eve party at Tim and Ellen’s beach house,” Paula said. “Everyone gets tipsy and a little touchy-feely at these kinds of parties. It was the finale to a godawful year, so cut me some slack, will you please.”

“Brilliant, just brilliant, Paula,” Tim said. “Given your proclivity to find any excuse to get touchy-feely with Fred, I don’t think this new year is going to work out any better than this past year for us. I’ll cut you all the slack you could ask for. Have a nice life.”

Written for these daily prompts: Your Daily Wird Prompt (pally), Word of the Day Challenge (auld Lang Syne), The Daily Spur (civilization), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (champagne ), My Vivid Blog (beach), Ragtag Daily Prompt (finale), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (brilliant).

Fibbing Friday — Hey, Kids, What Time is It?

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Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today’s Fibbing Friday was posted by Melanie, of Sparks From a Combustible Mind, who is subbing for Frank while he takes a short break. Mel wants to know…

1. Instead of counting sheep, WHAT was counted?

Chickens before they hatched.

2. If auld acquaintance be forgot, what was remembered?

That time last New Year’s Eve when you got drunk and threw up all over your host’s wife. That’s why you weren’t invited back this year.

3. Time keeps WHAT away?

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

4. The WHAT is gone, the song is over, thought I’d something more to say.

The karaoke machine on the fritz.

5. It was his WHAT time in the unemployment line?

Last time because he finally got a job.

6. WHAT in time does a stitch save?

The embarrassment of a wardrobe malfunction on national TV.

7. Like wind on the plains and sand through the glass, we WHAT?

We need a warm bath.

8. If I could save time in a WHAT?

A freezer. I’d be frozen in time.

9. Woke up, fell out of bed and then WHAT?

Went to the hospital with a broken arm.

10. Lying in my bed, I hear the WHAT tick and think of you?

Bomb.

Bonus: As the clock chimes midnight to ring in the New Year, a Spanish tradition involves eating twelve of what – one for each chime?

Cockroaches at the annual La Cucaracha festival.

Friday Fictioneers — Oh Christmas Tree

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“You can’t leave that tree here,” the guy yelled at the three of us as we lowered the tree to the curb in front of his house. “The refuse company collected trees on this block on yesterday.”

I looked at Danny. “I thought you said collection of Christmas trees was not until Friday,” I said.

“Well, I guess I was wrong,” Danny said. “Let’s go back, wait until it’s dark tonight, and then dump it in the lot behind five and dime. No one will know it was us.”

“Great way to start off the new year,” I said, sarcastically.

(100 words)

Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers prompt. Photo credit: Dale Rogerson.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — December 31st

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Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 31st) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on New Year’s Eve in 2017.

Of Balls and Bongs

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The ding on the microwave oven sounded.

“Finally,” said Frank.

“Seriously, it’s about time,” added Phil.

“It seemed to take forever,” noted Lou.

Lou fumbled opening the microwave door and removing the plate overflowing with pizza rolls they just nuked.

Frank carried the plate into the living room and placed it on the coffee table. Phil carried the pitcher of beer. Lou carried the bong. Once everything was in place, Lou picked up the remote and turned on the 65-inch flat screen TV. Then each took a large hit on the bong.

“There it is,” said Frank, pointing to the image of the large crystal ball overlooking New York’s Times Square.

“The countdown is about to start,” added Phil.

“It’s taking forever,” noted Lou.

The countdown continued. “Five. Four. Three. Two. One.” And the large crystal ball overlooking New York’s Times Square started to fall.

“Finally,” said Frank.

“Seriously, it’s about time,” added Phil.

“It’s taking forever,” noted Lou.

Once the ball reached the bottom, the three friends each took another big toke off the bong. Then they clinked their full glasses of beer together and chugged.

“Happy New Year, everyone. 2017 is over,” the announcer on the TV said. “Welcome to 2018!”

“Finally,” said Frank.

“Seriously, it’s about time,” added Phil.

“It seemed to take forever,” noted Lou.

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “finally.”

FOWC with Fandango — Brilliant

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FOWC

Welcome to December 31, 2021 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (U.S.).

Today’s word is “brilliant.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.

Pow! Bang! Zoom!

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“Why do you always try to needle me into doing things I don’t want to do?” Ralph said to his wife, Alice.

Alice pulled the TV remote out of Ralph’s hand, pointed it toward the television and zapped it off. “Ralph Kramden,” she said, “I’m tired of our life together. Since you retired from the bus company, all you do, day and night, is watch TV. It’s a sickness within you, Ralph, and I’ve had it. I’ve tried various and sundry approaches to get you up and off that sofa and to motivate you to do something, anything, besides watch that goddam TV, but nothing works. I could parade in front of you buck naked and you wouldn’t take your eyes away from that damn screen.”

“One, two, three, four….”

“Are you doing a countdown, Ralph?” Alice asked.

“Yeah,” Ralph said, “and by the time I reach ten, you either have to strip naked and strut for me, hand me back the remote and leave me alone, or it’s pow, bang, zoom, you’re going to the moon, Alice.”

Written for these daily prompts: E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (needle), My Vivid Blog (remote), Ragtag Daily Prompt (zap), The Daily Spur (sickness), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (sundry), and Word of the Day Challenge (countdown).

Thursday Inspiration — I Pity the Fool

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For Jim Adams’ Thursday Inspiration prompt this week, he’s asked us to respond using the word “fool,” going with the above image, and/or leveraging the Doobie Brothers song, “What a Fool Believes.”

First of all, let me just say for the record, that I was never much of a Doobie Brothers fan until Michael McDonald joined the group. He added depth and dimension to their sound, giving it a more jazzy, sophisticated vibe. And after he departed from the group, I once again lost interest in the Doobie Brothers.

Now, with that out of the way, when I saw the word “fool,” my mind harkened back to that 1980s television series, “The A Team,” with the iconic Mr. T and his classic tag line:

One Minute Fiction — Split Peas

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You said that we were
Made for one another
Like two peas in a pod
That we belonged together
Always
But then
Without any warning
You left the pod
And now here you are
With nothing to say
You can’t even look at me
How could you betray me?
I never expected you to be
The kind of pea
Who would split on me

Written for Cyranny’s One Minute Fiction prompt. Photo credit: Cyranny.

FOWC with Fandango — Sundry

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FOWC

Welcome to December 30, 2021 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (U.S.).

Today’s word is “sundry.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.