The Wedding Toast

E1B042AA-3F28-4DC1-A467-DA9E89DFB908.jpeg“Please, honey,” John’s wife said, “try not to be so verbose this time.”

“Hey, Elaine, was that a dig?” John said, a friendly grin on his face.

“No, sweetheart, just a suggestion to keep it short,” Elaine said. “You do have a tendency to go on an on, flapping your waddle when you make a long speech.”

“My waddle?”

“Yes, babe,” Elaine said. “Ever since you lost all that weight you’ve got a bunch of loose skin under your chin that flaps when you talk. It’s really distracting.”

“That was an unkind thing to say,” John said, feigning hurt.

Elaine walked up to John, grabbed his waddle and fondled it. “I love your waddle, John, I really do. You remind me of that sexy Mitch McConnell.” Then she kissed his lips. “All the other wives are green with envy that I have a hubby with such a magnificent chin waddle.”

John smiled and returned his wife’s kiss. “Thanks, I think,” he said.

“But that not withstanding,” Elaine said, “you really do need to transcend that tendency of yours to drone on and on when someone hands you a microphone. Remember, when asked to give a wedding toast to the bride and groom, to keep it crisp.”


Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (verbose),  Daily Addictions (dig), Word of the Day Challenge (waddle) The Daily Spur (green), Your Daily Word Prompt (transcend), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (crisp).

Share Your World — Deep Thoughts and Whatnots

Share Your WorldMelanie, over at Sparks From a Combustible Mind, Is going deep and provocative on us this week with one of her Share Your World questions. So let’s give it a go.

If confronted with a violent crime against a single individual in progress (severe beating, rape, assault) do you try to do something about it (phone authorities or confront the criminal, stop the crime) or do you figure it’s none of your business and walk or drive on by? Or would you merely record the crime for social media use without doing anything else?

At the very least I would call 9-1-1 (emergency). If there was a way for me to safely intervene to stop the attack I would. If not, after calling 9-1-1, I would take pictures or videos of the attack to give to the authorities once they arrived on scene.

Okay now we got the heavy stuff out of the way, let’s get to some less stressful questions.

If someone asked to be your apprentice and learn all that you know, what would you teach them?

I’d teach them that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. In other words, leave well enough alone. Having recently been burned when it comes to operating system and app upgrades, this is the best advise I can think of at the moment.

First think of a product. Now, what would be the absolute worst brand name for one of those products?

Product: Adult Diapers; Brand Name: Shit Skivvies.

What ridiculous and untrue, yet slightly plausible, theories can you come up with for the cause of common ailments like headaches or cavities?

Headaches — Spending too much uninterrupted time blogging on you computer, tablet, or smartphone.

Cavities — Brushing your teeth too vigorously. It wears off the enamel, making your teeth more susceptible to cavities.

Weekly Song Challenge

9FC24DBF-795E-468A-8F5E-D6928D4F45A9For this week’s Weekly Song Challenge, Laura has asked us to post videos about our favorite song from a list of artists, a song from the year we were born, and one from the year we graduated from high school.

Her rules are:

  • Copy the rules and add them to our own post, pinging back to Laura’s post.
  • Post music videos for our answers to the musical questions.
  • Tag two people anyone who wants to participate!

So here goes.

1. Post a video of your favorite song by any of these artists:

Elton John
REO Speedwagon
Styx
Kansas
Aerosmith
Bon Jovi
Neil Diamond

2. Post a hit song from the year you were born.

According to Billboard, this was the number one song for the year I was born.

3. Post a video of a song that was popular the year you graduated from high school.

Okay, your turn!

Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #34

FFFCWelcome to “Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge.” Each week I will be posting a photo I grab off the internet and challenge bloggers to write a relatively short flash fiction piece inspired by the photo. While there are no definitive style or word limits, I suggest trying to keep your posts to under 300 words.

I want to sincerely thank everyone who has participated in these challenges so far. Your posts have been very creative. I hope this week’s image will also generate some great posts as well.

So now it’s time for this week’s Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge. The image below is from Michael Gaida at Pixabay.com.3F05CE09-B54D-4C10-970E-68277D27CF31If this picture inspires you and you wish to participate, please write your post, use the tag #FFFC, and link back to this post.

The issue with pingbacks not showing up seems to have been resolved, but you might check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

Please take a few minutes to read some of the other responses to this photo challenge.

FOWC with Fandango — Verbose

FOWCWelcome to September 30, 2019 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “verbose.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

The issue with pingbacks not showing up seems to have been resolved, but you might check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.

Those Were the Days

I don’t know about you, but I hunger for the days when the President of the United States wasn’t a corrupt, lying ignoramus and wannabe dictator, whose only interest is enriching his family’s fortune and those of his ultra-wealthy cronies.

I am wistful for the days when our Commander-in-Chief had the capacity for honesty, integrity, and empathy and took seriously his role to honor the Constitution of the United States and to serve and protect the American people.5D1E844E-9B54-42BF-8B9A-2461E37EADC2Aren’t you?


Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (hunger), Ragtag Daily Prompt (corrupt), The Daily Spur (fortune), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (wistful), and Your Daily Word Prompt (capacity).

Chip Off the Old Block

I’m using the WordPress block (aka Gutenberg) editor for the very first time, since I’ve been having issues with the Visual editor in the “classic” mode in my iPhone’s browser. So far, I find it not at all intuitive and very confusing. I hope that I’ll be able to revert to the “classic” mode at the end of this experiment. But, I’m going to give it a shot nonetheless.

Now I’m going to try to post an image.

6e6146f3-4544-4466-b34c-082dc3d7ac1cWell, that seemed to work, although, because I’m using an iPhone, my screen doesn’t look like either of those two images in the graphic above.

4b1f98d2-ebd4-47c3-8ca8-6c0787fe6511So the next thing I tried to do was preview what my block editor post looked like. I tapped the “Preview” button on the top right of the screen. But instead of seeing a preview of my post so far, this is what I saw.73E676A9-7877-41BC-96C5-58FAB4E23A12It has taken me about three hours so far to compose this post, which is ridiculous. So I’m going back to the “classic” mode will finish this post using the HTML editor. It’s not as easy to use as the classic Visual editor, but at least I know what I’m doing, which I don’t when using the block editor.

That way I can finish this post, preview it, and publish it.

Finally!

Who Won The Week? 9/29/19

10CC3057-4EEA-4C80-B8C1-700C0FC6C906It’s time for another Who Won the Week prompt. The idea behind Who Won the Week is for you to select who you think “won” this past week. Your selection can be anyone or anything — politicians, celebrities, athletes, authors, bloggers, your friends or family members, books, movies, TV shows, businesses, organizations, whatever.

I will be posting this prompt on Sunday mornings (my time). If you want to participate, write your own post designating who you think won the week and why you think they deserve your nod. Then link back to this post and tag you post with FWWTW.

My pick for this week is technology.Technology I chose technology this week in the sense of a zero-sum game. A zero-sum game is a situation in which one person or group can win something only by causing another person or group to lose it. And this past week, technology won and Fandango lost.

I spent hours on Monday, as I posted here, about my battle with Comcast. I spent the bulk of last Monday trying to resolve a significant performance degradation in my internet speeds after Comcast magnanimously “enhanced” my internet speeds for free. The good news is that, after more than six hours, that problem finally got resolved.

Not so yesterday, though, when I spent another six or seven hours trying to resolve an issue that surfaced after I installed iOS 13 on my iPhone, as well as the latest update to the WordPress app for iOS, which I wrote about here. In the end, the issue that surfaced and prompted my rant, remains unresolved.

I did get a suggestion from a fellow blogger, who commented,

“So I went in to the editor on WP.com and I was in the new block editor. When I went back to the classic editor I was able to duplicate your situation. Back to the other editor, all is well. See what happens when you change your editor on your iOS device in Safari’s wp.com.”

My response was

“I’ve been trying to bypass the block editor because I hear it’s kind of cumbersome and harder to use. But maybe I will have to give it a shot.”

So bottom line, this past week I was beaten down by technology and technology won.

And if any of you have thoughts and/or suggestions about the WordPress block editor, I’d love to hear from you.

And now it’s your turn, folks. Who (or what) do you think won the week?

Song Lyric Sunday — Trains

For this week’s Song Lyric Sunday theme, Jim Adams has given us the topic of trains. There are a lot of songs about trains, and the one I chose is “City of New Orleans,” most notably recorded by Arlo Guthrie and written by Chicago singer-songwriter Steve Goodman.

Goodman wrote the lyrics for the song on a sketch pad after his wife fell asleep on the Illinois Central train, City of New Orleans, where they were going to visit his wife’s grandmother in New Orleans. Goodman wrote about what he saw looking out the windows of the train and playing cards in the club car. Everything in the song, he said, actually happened on the ride.

After he returned home, Goodman heard that the train was scheduled to be decommissioned due to lack of passengers. He was encouraged to use this song to save the train, so he retouched the lyrics and released it on his first album in 1971.

It was Arlo Guthrie’s cover in 1972 that popularized the song and brought attention to rail lines that were vanishing across middle America. The song was a hit for Guthrie on his 1972 album Hobo’s Lullaby, reaching number 4 on the Billboard Easy Listening chart and number 18 on the Hot 100 chart. It was Guthrie’s only top-40 hit.

The chorus line from the song, “Good morning America, how are ya?” became a cultural touchstone in the United States.

Here are the lyrics to the song.

Riding on the City of New Orleans
Illinois Central Monday morning rail
Fifteen cars and fifteen restless riders
Three conductors and twenty-five sacks of mail
All along the southbound odyssey
The train pulls out at Kankakee
Rolls along past houses, farms and fields
Passin’ trains that have no names
Freight yards full of old black men
And the graveyards of the rusted automobiles

Good morning America how are you?
Don’t you know me I’m your native son
I’m the train they call The City of New Orleans
I’ll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done

Dealin’ cards games with the old men in the club car
Penny a point ain’t no one keepin’ score
Pass the paper bag that holds the bottle
Feel the wheels rumblin’ ‘neath the floor
And the sons of Pullman porters
And the sons of engineers
Ride their father’s magic carpets made of steam
Mothers with their babes asleep
Are rockin’ to the gentle beat
And the rhythm of the rails is all they feel

Good morning America how are you?
Said don’t you know me I’m your native son
I’m the train they call The City of New Orleans
I’ll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done

Nighttime on The City of New Orleans
Changing cars in Memphis, Tennessee
Half way home, we’ll be there by morning
Through the Mississippi darkness
Rolling down to the sea
But all the towns and people seem
To fade into a bad dream
And the steel rails still ain’t heard the news
The conductor sings his songs again
The passengers will please refrain
This train’s got the disappearing railroad blues

Good night, America, how are you?
Said don’t you know me I’m your native son
I’m the train they call The City of New Orleans
I’ll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done