Sometimes Time Creeps Up On You

 

Getting old is not for the squeamish. Or the weak. Or the timid.

What the hell, getting old is not for anybody, really...

I was reading a book on Stephen King films and came across a chapter in it on "needless sequels" to King films (Stephen King Films FAQ by Scott Von Doviak). It should be noted that that disparaging designation "needless sequels" is the author's phrase, not mine. The chapter is titled "Sometimes Dead is Better: A Return to Salem's Lot, Pet Semetary Two and Other Needless Sequels" (Chapter 29 if you have a copy of the book). 

I can't say I disagree with ALL of the selections the author points out in this section. (BTW, he devotes a whole 'nother chapter to the seemingly endless sequels to Children of the Corn, {what are we up to now... Children of the Corn XX...?} so at least he has SOME semblance of decorum...). Personally I never really liked the first Firestarter, so when the Sci-Fi Channel inflicted a sequel with a grown up Charlie on the public I was not one of those who looked forward to it. And several other sequels that have been made to follow (and "sucker in" fans of) better movies have not impressed me, probably more often than not.

Still, in my younger and more impressionable days, there was a sequel that I highly anticipated that did get me. I was a huge fan of the original Creepshow. So when a sequel was announced I was one of the first people in line to buy a ticket on opening day of Creepshow 2. 

While I was reading Von Doviak's book it occurred to me that I hadn't seen Creepshow 2 since it first hit the theaters back in 1987. (That's nearly 40 years! See what I mean about getting old? I feel older just noting that...and I felt just fine before I realized it was 40 years...) 

I have quite a number of King movies in my collection, but this was one I have never run across when I have browsed the stacks of my local used DVD store. I remembered fondly two of the three stories in the film ("Old Chief Wood'nhead" and "The Raft"), but, to be honest, I really didn't remember anything about whatever the third story in the film was until I re-watched it just now. (That one is called "The Hitch-hiker"). 

Von Doviak's main disparaging comment, that the film "creatively...looks like leftovers", seems to be a little harsh to me. The whole concept of the Creepshow series of films (as well as the TV series that followed them) was all about an homage to the old EC comics from the 50's, such as The Vault of Horror and Tales from the Crypt, and many of the comic book stories come off as leftovers if you read the originals. There are a few reprints in book form out there if you are interested in seeking them out.

The stories included in this sequel are just about equal to the ones in the first film, especially the one called "The Raft", which I would take over "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill" from the first film any day...

The three stories in this one come off kind of like a poor man's version of a Twilight Zone episode, complete with a hinted at morality lesson at the end. At least for two of them. (You have to work at getting a morality lesson out of "The Raft", since the only really "bad" thing the teenagers do is smoke a joint... and for that they have to die? If that's the case about 20% or 30% of the population would be slated for morality lessons...)

40 years later I still like Creepshow 2, although the subpar acting on some of the characters does come off a bit ridiculous. None of the kids on the raft are really great, even though I still think it is the better of the three stories.

 

Creepshow 2 (1987): 

It's interesting to note than when the original sequel was conceived, and slated to be done by a major studio, there were actually going to be 5 stories used for this anthology. When New World Pictures took over, the new studio jettisoned two of the stories. Whether either of them would have improved the film is hard to say. I like the idea of an evil bowling league getting revenge, which is one of the ones left out. The other story, called "The Cat from Hell", actually was filmed for an episode of Tales from the Darkside, so we do have that to fall back on.

 

The first segment, "Old Wood'nhead", is probably the least suspenseful and the horror part of the story takes a pretty long time to come to fruition. Before we get to the meat of the horror we are treated to a long introduction to a pair of kindly old souls, Ray (George Kennedy) and Martha (Dorothy Lamour), who run a general store that has seen better days. George does his best to keep the store going because, despite the dwindling economy, the members of the community need him.

 

But there are some bad elements in town. Led by Sam (Holt McCallany) three hoodlums attempt to rob the old couple and ultimately kill them. 

 

Finally, the horror part kicks in as  a wooden cigar store Indian that George is devoted to keeping looking fresh comes to life to exact revenge. (Yes, I said wooden cigar store Indian...) The Indian looks pretty unscary, to be honest, even when it does start to come to life. And I would gladly have exchanged this story for any of the other two that got scuttled. But fortunately the rest of the movie was really good.

 

The second story, "The Raft", involves two pairs of teenagers who are out to spend a day floating on a raft in the middle of a lake. The lake is deserted at this time of year because it is off season for the tourists that would have been around in the summer. (I think this is supposed to be in the fall, after the lake crowd has gone back to their mansions in the city, but it could be early spring... Either way, the teens make a point of noting that the lake is pretty cold.

 

They all get to the raft before they notice a peculiar looking oil slick on the lake. But it's NOT an oil slick... It moves of it's own accord, and it turns out to be some kind of carnivorous being (although it doesn't transform into a giant shark or anything like that, which would have probably detracted from it's scariness..) 

 

It gradually picks off each teenager, one by one, ultimately giving us a lesson in observing surroundings, because at the end of the segment we see a sign, hidden by some bushes, which clearly says "No Swimming"...

Note: To keep this blog on a family friendly level, 

I'm not going to post any pics of the slick taking out the teens. 

Most of it is pretty graphic...  

The third segment, "The Hitch-hiker", really hits that morality tale trope on the head. What we essentially have is a woman, played by Lois Chiles, who is cheating on her husband. (Let this be a lesson to you, whether you are male or female... don't get into any extramarital relationships, or... YOU'LL BE SORRY...!) 

 

As she is trying to get home before her husband gets home from work the woman accidentally hits and kills a hitchhiker on the side of the road. Instead of pulling over, of course, she panics and makes it a case of hit and run. Only the only part of that she seems to get right is the "hit" part, because the "run" part doesn't pan out. The hitchhiker keeps showing up, in more and more beat up condition, saying "Thanks for the ride lady!" (It is somewhat reminiscent of how Griffin Dunne's character keeps showing up to try to get David Naughton to kill himself in An American Werewolf in London.)

 

"The Hitch-hiker" is a pretty cool episode, a bit graphic on occasion, and it called to mind the classic Twilight Zone episode where the woman keeps seeing the same hitchhiker as she is trying to cross the country (although that one has no gory scenes at all...)

My opinion on the second watch of this film is that it was not nearly as good as I remembered, but hardly worth the level of putdown that Von Doviak gave it. A reading of several reviews that I researched for this entry fall in line with my own opinion: a) that it's not all that bad, and b)  most of them agreed that the better of the the three was the middle story.

There is, as was in the first movie, a connecting device involving a young comic book fan, in cartoon form,  who is being harassed by a gang of malcontents. The malcontents, of course, getting their just desserts at the end (or maybe that should be better phrased "becoming just desserts"...) 

 

Unlike the third movie in this cycle, Creepshow 3, this movie still had the King hand in it. All three stories were by the horror master. As I understand it, neither Stephen King or George Romero had anything to to do with #3, and it remains to be seen whether I'll even give it a watch. (Probably I will, but I have a lot on my plate right now... it was an unscheduled halt in other projects that even led me to cover this one... maybe in 2027).

Creepshow 2 made a fairly decent profit, not big, but at $4 million to make it managed to pull in $14 million at the box office. Echoing Von Doviak, it wasn't entirely well received by the critics. It currently only has a 36% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus can be summed up with one reviewer who said "[d]espite its strengths -- a livelier pace, some creatively gory set-pieces -- this is a much cheaper-looking effort than its predecessor..." OK, in all fairness Creepshow is WAY better than Creepshow 2, but it's still a fun watch.

Gotta fire up the old Plymouth and head home. Drive safely, folks. And, please, keep your eyes on the road, and stay away from those remote swimming holes.

Quiggy

 

 

 

Semiquincentennial Movie Project #16: The Evil Dead

  

 

The Semiquincentennial  Movie Project is an ongoing celebration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States. During the course of this project your humble blogger is choosing a movie a week to represent each of the 50 states in the Union, as well as a movie scheduled for 4th of July weekend that will represent the nation's capitol, Washington D.C. The order of the weekly entries will coincide with the order of each state's entry into the fold (although, not necessarily coinciding with the date of their entry into said fold).

 

Week #16: Tennessee -

 

The state of Tennessee was established on June 1, 1796 

Details about Tennessee:

State bird: mockingbird

State flower: iris

State tree: tulip poplar

Additional historical trivia:

Mountain Dew, which originated in Tennessee, was originally created to mix with whiskey.

Maxwell House Coffee originated in Tennessee.

So did the Moon Pie.

Also cotton candy is from Tennessee. 

And a place in Memphis sells a whopping 12 lb. burger. (You get the idea I'm hungry right now...?)

You can shoot whales from a moving vehicle legally in Tennessee. (think about that for a minute...)

There's a bar/restaurant in Copperhill which sits in two states, Tennessee and Georgia. The part that is in Tennessee can serve alcohol.  The part that is in Georgia cannot.

The trash dumpster was first created in Tennessee. (No word on whether its also the state of the first dumpster fire...) 

Famous people born in Tennessee: Davy Crockett, Estes Kefauver, Reggie White, both of the Allman Brothers, Aretha Franklin, Dolly Parton and Jack Daniel (originator of the famous whiskey). 

The Evil Dead (1981): 

Note: I considered the pictures a bit too intense for use this week. You can check out the movie for yourself. 

At Michigan State University five students decide to take a vacation at a remote cabin in Tennessee. The intrepid explorers consist of Ash (Bruce Campbell), his sister Cheryl (Ellen Sandweiss), his girlfriend Linda (Betsy Baker), Ash's friend Scott (Hal Delrich) and Scott's girlfriend Shelly ( Sarah York).

The film opens as the five travel down the road while searching a map to determine their location. The first indication that something might be amiss is that there is a near collision with a pickup. Scott claims it wasn't his fault, somehow the steering wheel jerked out of his hands. 

The crew then have to cross a bridge that is clearly falling apart, but even though the girls are nervous, the guys insist that it is "solid as a rock". (Of course, it is not...) 

The warning signs that this might not be a good idea after all continue. When they arrive at the cabin (which looks as run down as one of those abandoned farmhouses you see on back country roads), a porch swing is banging against the wall of the cabin, but when Scott retrieves the key to the door, it suddenly stops.

You know, you might as well conclude that these "university students" must have been accepted as charity cases in the halls of higher learning, because everything that happens early on in the movie that would have normal people running for the hills are looked upon as "hmm- that's peculiar..." Like when a basement door flies open of it's own accord.  

The boys go down and find a secret torture chamber (or it looks like one anyway, bones are hanging everywhere). They also find a recording by a professor who was the last resident of the cabin, and a book that is filled with odd drawings and weird writing. They take the recording back upstairs and play it. It is the reminiscences of the professor and his study of a past civilization and his study of their Book of the Dead. The recording has the professor reading verbatim this incantations that (supposedly) will free the demonic spirits. Which, of course, they do.

The rest of the film is a series of "look out, the demons have possessed your friend",  as one by one the members of the group become possessed. The first to succumb to their evil machinations is probably the most graphic as Cheryl goes out to investigate some strange noises and is attacked by the trees. (That is a mild way of describing it. It's pretty disturbing.

Eventually, everyone but Ash ends up being made into a "new creation", so to speak. If you don't already know, there were several sequels to the original, including what I list as one of my favorites in the horror genre Army of Darkness (which is essentially Evil Dead III.) The series did eventually play up the humorous/horror camp aspect that made the rest of the films so enjoyable, but  there is very little of it in this first one. I warn you at the outset that this entry is fairly graphic. 

You want to know how "graphic"? Initially the American theaters refused to show it. It had to get its start showing in European theaters. And even then there were several countries that outright banned it.  When the movie was received in the countries that would deign to show it it had to be trimmed some to pass approval. And eventually it was released in the US, although initially with an X rating. Once again, it turns out that "X" (now call NC-17) was not always meaning some extreme sexual content. "X" was also a rating for extremely violent movies, which is why A Clockwork Orange was originally released with an "X" rating.

This is not a movie you want to watch with impressionable teenagers. Hell, it might not be a movie you want to watch yourself... This movie makes An American Werewolf in London seem like a kiddie movie. 

Believe it or not, however, my research shows that it currently has an 85% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and was well received by the critics at the time. One reviewer, Bob Martin of Fangoria Magazine claimed that it could be " loved, embraced and hailed as a new milestone in graphic horror." I'm not sure how mainstream critics viewed it, although Roger Ebert did praise the "inventive, low-budget film making and intense, kinetic style", although neither he nor Gene Siskel really liked the movie.

The film did make a profit, with a $29 million box office from a $400 budget, thus making it one of the more profitable movies in the low-budget horror genre. Thus, we can see that a sequel (or two) would definitely be in the foreseeable future. Personally I like the sequels a whole lot better, but then I always did prefer a heavy sprinkling of camp and humor in my horror movies. 

Well, folks, that's it for this week. Drive safely. And, point of warning, if you see a sign that says that bridge up ahead is dangerous, take a word from the wise ad just turn around.

Quiggy

    

The First Zombie

 

This is my entry in the Early Shadows and Pre-Code Horror Blogathon hosted by the Classic Movie Blog Association.

 

 

 

The zombie film has evolved over the years. Gone are the days when a "zombie" in a film could easily be mistaken for a half-zonked drunken fraternity boy. Early films which featured zombies were often like that. I once reviewed a double feature of King of the Zombies/Teenage Zombies in which the zombies of the films were pretty much like that. It wasn't until George Romero came along with his classic Night of the Living Dead that we got the kind of zombies that most people are familiar with today, that of un-dead creatures seeking "brain food" for sustenance.

The initial reference to zombies in modern English culture were from the early 1800's. In this case, voodoo and zombies were closely connected. Thus the idea that those early zombies where basically creatures that walked around in a trance. You see, sometimes the zombies, at least in the Haitian voodoo folklore, are still alive,  just basically removed from their own cognizant will to operate as humans. And that was the case in two of the early zombie movies, White Zombie and I Walked with a Zombie. In both, the main heroine never actually dies, but is just put into an almost permanent hypnotic state. 

With hypnotism, the standard thinking is that, in the real world at least, a hypnotized person cannot be induced into doing something that he would not do in a cognizant state.  In the case of the voodoo zombie, however, that may or may not be the case.  Sometimes, at least as portrayed in film, the zombies can carry out the will of their masters which may even include killing another person. Unless the zombified person was originally of a mind that he or she could actually kill another in his or her cognizant state, that corollary related to hypnotism would seem to be not in effect if a person is turned into a zombie.

One of the things about zombie films is that they were often used as a metaphor for the current climate. In the above referenced Teenage Zombies, for instance, the zombies were obviously a substitute for Communists. But that was the 50's. Even so, there can be some political undertones even in movies that predate the Red Scare (or any other politically charged atmosphere).   

One of the things that could be underlying the basic plot line of White Zombie is the situation involving the main character, Murder Legendre, who is a plantation owner. He has created, essentially, his own "slave" population to run the drudgery of labor at the farm. Not that the makers would be trying to make a political statement in favor of the "slavery environment" of the 1700's and 1800's, but the world was still looking sideways when it came to the idea of big countries like France and England which still had "colonial rule" as a part of their acceptable rule. 

If you look at White Zombie as a criticism of this ideology, however, you may be  short changing yourself. After all, in the end, the black Haitian zombies all end up dying, not freed from their bondage, which would seem to be the proper way to approach it.  Of course, there is still some outrage at the idea here; that Legendre has essentially created slaves, albeit not live ones, who might object to their current situation. 

 One must take in the historical context of the movie. At the time of the film the United States was very involved in it's own form of imperialism. Imperialism is the concept, to put it bluntly, that a third world country is not capable of running its own business, at least not as it relates to the interest of the bigger country. In the case of countries like the Soviet Union, this often meant using a strong arm to enforce it's own agenda, in this case Communism. Not that the democratic country of the United States was any less aggressive in it's agenda, however. While using military force to impose its will is something that may make the average American cringe, the presence of American influence in Haiti was seen as a necessity to prevent another "less acceptable" power gaining control.

Thus, Murder Legendre and his influence over the population might be something akin to letting Hitler or Stalin gain a foothold in the country. But there seems to me to be another theme underlying the situation. Murder has influence that even extends to the white race. The titular "white zombie", after all is a white woman, with all the freedom that that implies in the context of the time period. Sure, it might be acceptable to "enslave" the indigenous Haitian population, but it is an entirely different matter when that extends to the white race.

Just down the road, time wise,  a demagogue (Hitler) would come to power to power in Germany and extend his own influence by enslaving the citizens of those countries in which he took power. Like the white zombie in this film, those citizens became virtually powerless to resist the influence of said demagogue. Likewise, another demagogue (Khrushchev) would exert similar control as the Soviets overtook countries in post World War II Europe.

Sure, this movie is a something of a predecessor to both of those tyrants, but the parallels are hard to ignore. So take another look at this classic with a view towards the underlying political themes that it holds. One can hardly feel that Murder Legendre is much better than Hitler or Khrushchev when looked at from this perspective.  

 

 

 

White Zombie (1932): 

On their way to be married in Haiti, Madeleine (Madge Bellamy) and Neil (John Harron) come across an odd ritual. Several natives are burying one of their own in the middle of a road. 

The ritual, as their coach driver (Clarence Muse) tells them, is to prevent grave robbers from stealing the body. Why would anyone steal a dead body? Well, it turns out that someone is turning the bodies into zombies, the animated undead. 

 

As the coach continues there is a man in the road ahead. This is our ultimate villain, Murder Legendre (Bela Lugosi), as it turns out. All you need to do is look into those haunting eyes, which makes both Madeleine and Neil cringe. But just as quick as they stop the driver hauls butt again because he sees zombies coming over the next ridge.

 

When the pair arrive at the home of Charles Beaumont, whom they have come to see, they meet Dr. Bruner (Joseph Cawthorn), a preacher who has been a missionary on the island for 30 years. He dismisses the zombie story as a legend and superstition. The pair are meeting with Beaumont, whom they barely know, because Beaumont has promised to make Neil his agent in his own enterprise. Seems they might have made friends with Beaumont just a little to easily (ah, the naivete of the 30's...) Beaumont has ulterior motives.

 

He had made his plantation available as a wedding site for the pair, but Beaumont has designs on Madeleine for himself. Barring the fact that she is wholly in love with Neil, Beaumont plans a little surprise that would make her wholly devoted to him instead. As he discusses his plans with his butler, Silver (Brandon Hurst), Silver tells Beaumont he wishes he would abandon his plan to work with "that other man". (We don't need to be told at this point that "that other man" is the previously met Murder Legendre, although we may not be sure exactly what Beaumont's plans have to do with hm.

Despite the fact that Beaumont only recently met Madeleine on the ship traveling from New York to Haiti, it is apparently that he is obsessed with her and determines to have her for himself.  He goes to meet Murder at his plantation, a plantation that is almost entirely run by people who are seemingly automatons. They don't even react when one of their number collapses and falls into the thresher they are operating.

 

Beaumont and Murder discuss the possibility of having her just disappear for a month, but Murder informs Beaumont that that would be not near enough time for her to forget Neil and become devoted to Beaumont. But... there is another possibility...

 

Murder suggests that Beaumont turn her into a zombie. This involves an elaborate plan to give her a potion which will make it seem like she died. Which Beaumont gives her just before the weeding. The result is, while the newly married couple are toasting each other after the weeding, Madeleine "dies".  Note: It is fortunate that she is put in a coffin and placed in a crypt without the benefit of embalming, otherwise this whole thing might end in tragedy before it even gets underway.

While Neil is drowning his sorrow in wine,  Murder and Beaumont go to the crypt to retrieve the body of Madeleine.  Murder informs Beaumont that all his servants are zombies. When Beaumont asks what would happen if they regain their souls, Murder tells them they would tear him apart. "But that will never happen..." After stealing the coffin Neil comes along and finds the crypt empty.

 

He meets with Dr. Bruner who informs Neil that there are two possibilities; either her body was stolen by a death cult for use in their ceremonies or possibly "she is not dead". Dr. Bruner tells Neil  about Murder's history, that of turning his enemies into soulless zombies, creatures that are not dead, but not entirely living either... the automatons that do the work of Murder without any resistance. ("Resistance is futile", as the Borg in Star Trek are fond of saying...)

 

But Dr. Bruner admits he does not think Beaumont is capable of doing this on his own, even though Neil suspects him of being behind it. The doctor thinks he must have had help from a witch doctor on the island and wants to get his hands on the witch doctor so he can make an example of him. And we all know who that witch doctor is, even if Dr. Bruner is not entirely sure.

Meanwhile Beaumont is having second thoughts about the situation and wants Murder to reverse the zombie status of Madeleine. But Murder has other ideas and tricks Beaumont into drinking some wine that has the potion that turns Beaumont into another zombie instead. Neil has found the secret lair of Murder where Madeleine is being held and tries to rescue her, but even his efforts are an uphill battle as Murder uses his spell to make Madeleine attempt to kill Neil.

 

The final minutes of the film are intense as a battle of wills occurs between Murder and Neil and Dr. Bruner, but even as Beaumont is gradually being turned into a zombie he still has some remnants of his dignity and the vague sense of right and wrong and may manage to save the day.

 

In my usual wrap of films I try to give some of the production values from the film, but my research doesn't have much. It was filmed in 1932, after all. The movie had a budget of $50,000. I'm not sure how much it actually grossed after it's release. It wasn't entirely received well, and some of that has to do with the acting.  Most of the actors appear to be thinking they are doing a stage play rather than a movie. There is much over-acting and overwrought emotion depicted in the film, as if the actors were, as they say, "playing to the back of the house". One such reviewer, one who wrote for Commonweal magazine, is quoted as saying that the movie is "interesting only in measure of it's complete failure" (quoted from a Wikipedia article).

Time has been better to the film, however. That great rating system, the Tomato-meter, has it as 86% Fresh, and it, being the first ever full-length zombie film, has a following who praise it. You probably already know that singer Robert Cummings, better known as Rob Zombie, is such a devotee of the film that he named his first band after the movie.

My own personal opinion is that, while not on par with Frankenstein and Dracula, it is still a fairly good movie for the most part. That overacting only really gets laughable in one or two scenes, particularly the scene where Neil is drinking himself silly and imagines he sees Madeleine everywhere. 

 

Bela Lugosi, as would be expected, is the highlight of the film. You can see the quality he brings to the part of Murder Legendre especially when he is just standing there and relying on his facial expressions to express his mood.

There have recently been a couple of attempts to get a remake of White Zombie underway, although apparently none by Rob Zombie. So far none of them have come to fruition. I wonder how the public would respond... If the new kid on the block, Blumhouse, is any indication of the direction it would take, it would probably rely more on shock than on characterization. We shall see.

Well, folks, the old Plymouth is now warmed up and ready to roll. I think if I see any stumbling people on the road I'll make a wide detour. Drive safely, folks.

Quiggy

 

Another Dynamic Duo

 First you had Batman and Robin.They opened the door to history of dynamic crime-fighting duos throughout the next 50+ years. (OK, so The Lone Ranger predated Batman by a few years, but it really took off in 1966, by my standards). But while such shows as The Green Hornet were rarities, with their superheroes and the secret identities, there were also the typical cop shows, which paired two somewhat dissimilar buddies fighting crime as authorized agents of the law enforcement.

Starsky and Hutch, C.H.I.P.s, Miami Vice. These are the ones that made buddy cops a regular go to on TV. But the heads of NBC, CBS and ABC weren't always on top of their game.  (If they were, we would be watching season 35 of the same shows that got started in the 90's...) So you know that some ideas get off to a good start, but some of them fizzle at the starting gate.

Remember a scene (if you saw the movie in the first place) in Pulp Fiction in which Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman) mentions having been in a pilot episode for a TV show that didn't get picked up by the networks? There are several of these every season. And when you feel like saying "WTF is this crap?" when watching a TV show, just remember that it probably beat out something that was probably WAY worse of an idea.  (Of course, there IS a possibility that what was left behind could have been a WAY better idea, who knows?) There is a whole wikipedia page that lists TV pilots  like this, and you can jump to any of the ideas to see if they made a mistake by not picking that one over whatever they picked.  And even that page is not inclusive because it only lists shows that have their own wikipedia entry.

One of the ones not listed there is Tag Team.  I saw the entry for this in an Uncle John's Bathroom Reader entry titled "Lost TV Pilots".  The concept sounded interesting enough for me to look and see if I could find the pilot on YouTube, and (luckily?) I did.  

Tag Team (1991)

 Trying to cash in on the popularity of  professional wrestling, this pilot starred 1980's WWF stars "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Jesse "The Body" Ventura as the Lizard Brothers, professional wrestlers who quit the ring to become undercover cops.

from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: Wonderful World of Odd

OK, so two pro wrestlers (who are obviously at least somewhat well-known faces, as "undercover" cops?  Just that part seems to have a flaw.  But even getting over that, how far could you go with the main attraction being these two guys who are, obviously, going to do most of their crime fighting by performing wrestling moves on the bad guys? It seems like an idea doomed to fail at the outset to me.  But since Piper, who passed away a few years ago, and Ventura had been making some headway into the acting field at the time, I for one was willing to give them a chance. (Not sure I would have bothered in 1991 but I've mellowed with age).

 

 

 

 

Tag Team (TV series pilot)): 1991

The Lizard Brothers, "Tricky" Rick McDonald ("Rowdy" Roddy Piper) and Bobby "The Body" Youngblood (Jesse "The Body" Ventura {Yeah, right, I see it too}) are about to go into the ring against another tag team called the Samurai Brothers, Tojo (Pat Tanaka) and Saji (Akio Sato).  They are in the process of getting a name for themselves, and even the head of the Wrestling group (a stand in for Vince McMahon, I would guess) wishes them luck.

But the Wicked Witch of the West (I mean "Wrest") played by Shannon Tweed comes back to tell them if they don't take a dive in this match, they are going to be finished in the wrestling world. She tells them if they actually try and win she will tell her husband that they have been trying to put the moves on her.  She used the same tactic on another wrestler and he is no longer allowed in the ring.

Obviously that doesn't sit well with our heroes, but the fact of the matter is Witchiepoo does have the clout to keep the doors shut if they don't play along.  So initially they think it might be a good idea.  But they do come around to saying screw it and winning the match anyway.  But, the Witch follows through with her threat, so now they are out of the pool as far as wrestling goes.

 

 

 

So what do two former body builders/wrestlers do to pay the rent?  Well they try a couple of various gigs, including an hilarious attempt to manhandle a piano up a flight of stairs.  But the piano gets away, rolls down the flight of stairs, and manages to crash through the flimsiest brick wall this side of a Korean King Kong knockoff movie. And demolishes the delivery truck which just happens to be underneath.

 

 

"Rick? I think we body-slammed the truck."

 

Things do get better, though.  As a result of foiling an armed robbery at a local grocery store (which oddly becomes a wrestling match, go figure.) the two decide to try their hand at becoming policemen.  And despite the best efforts of some people to get them run out of the academy, they do make it as officers. If that female police instructor looks familiar, just imagine her with pointed ears.  That's Robin Curtis who took over the Saavik role after Kirstie Alley refused to continue it on the Star Trek movies.

After graduation, the guys get assigned to their police duties and one of the first duties is to help guard an eyewitness to a mob hit on a couple of undercover cops.  (And, BTW, does that eyewitness looks familiar?  She was the college student that Bill Murray's Ray Venkman was hitting on in an an early scene in Ghostbusters.) 

 The guys are now "undercover cops" themselves.  But in the next scene Jesse is decked out in is usual wrestling attire, so maybe they are undercover as their former wrestling personas (which would seem to limit the possibilities of undercover work if you ask me.)

The safe house is invaded by none other than the two mob guys who committed the murder of the cops.  (Don't ask me to explain how they aren't under arrest, since the eyewitness is due to be in the courtroom the next day. Who is she going to finger anyway?)  Of couse, the whole point of the encounter is to allow the execution of another series of wrestling encounters, so why bother with plot points.  But after throwing them out the window, where they manage to escape, the eyewitness turns out to have booked too.

So they go looking for her and find her at the local animal shelter.  She had just told them how much she loved dogs, so where else would she be?  They grab her and take off for the courtroom where she is just shy of missing her opportunity to be the star eyewitness, but then the two mob guys show up again, and guess what, we get another wrestling show.

So what went wrong with this series pilot? Why didn't such a dynamic plot make it to at least one season of show status?  Well, according to some, it was because there was an internal battle between Disney, one of the backing companies, and another company that tied up a lot of legal mumbo-jumbo.  I actually read a couple of reviews that touted the show as being a victim that WOULD have been a great show.  But, seriously, can you watch the pilot and think the world missed out on a NCIS dynasty?

I'll let you decide for yourself.  Below is the pilot taken from a YouTube page. Watch it if you dare.

Thanks, and enjoy your day.

Quiggy

A Tribute to Ray Dennis Steckler

This is my entry in The Unexpected Blogathon hosted by Taking Up Room

Preface  note: Most of the tidbits of information that follows comes from an interview that a man named Boyd Rice conducted with Steckler,  that I found in a book called Incredibly Strange Films published by Research Publications or from comments made by Joe Bob Briggs in the commentary segment of my DVD copy of the film.  

Ray Dennis Steckler (some 40 years after our movie)

OK, are you people ready for bizarre?  If you've read every entry on this blog, maybe.  But I think most of you are going to decide I've finally did a high dive into the shallow end of the pool.  Ever forward in my attempt to try to educate you into the realm of "bottom of the barrel budget" drive-in fare, I found something that makes everything that came before this seem like Oscar night.

Ray Dennis Steckler may just have been Ed Wood, Jr.'s successor in trashy low-budget fare.  About the time that Eddie moved from "normal" cinematic fare to pornographic films, Ray Steckler moved in to take up the mantle of low-budget tripe.  (And Steckler would also later follow Wood's footsteps into doing pornographic films).

Steckler always had his eye on saving money.  Basically his philosophy seemed to be why spend $5,000 on special effects when you could spend $500, and why spend $500 when you could get something for $50?  And if you could save 50 cents here, go for it.  A perfect example is the movie that was titled Rat Phink a Boo-Boo.  The actual title was supposed to be Rat Phink and Boo-Boo, but the guy doing the title credits made a typographical error.  Rather than pay the $50 that was required to correct it, Steckler just left it the way it was.

Steckler never made the same movie twice.  He seems to have had the same kind of eclectic interests that I have.  After being hired by Arch Hall, Sr. to direct his son Arch Hall, Jr. to make a rockabilly movie called Wild Guitar, Steckler set his sights on making his own brand of movies.  The first (and arguably best) movie was a monster movie, The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?  (BTW, just as a side note; the official title of the movie is supposed to include the "!!?".  Why?  I have no freaking idea...but it is sort of cool).  His second movie was a slasher flick called The Thrill Killers. He followed that with a quasi-superhero parody called Rat Phink a Boo-Boo and a pastiche that was kind of a tribute to the 30's Bowery Boys movies called The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters.

He also had a career making low-budget pornographic movies (like Ed Wood, Jr.) He also did a movie in 1979 called The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher.  The unique thing about this particular movie was that he filmed it 10 years earlier and intentionally withheld editing it for release for 10 years, but establishing the fact (within the movie) that it takes place in the year it was actually made.  The idea being, in his head, that people would marvel at how "accurately"  he got the look and feel of the late 60's/early 70's, even though the movie had been actually made in the late 60's/early 70's, just not released at that time.    (The guy was nothing if he wasn't creative, that's for sure.)

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964):

See!

The Dancing Girls of the Carnival 

Murdered by the Incredible 
Night Creatures of the Midway!

See!

The Hunchback of the Midway
Fight a Duel of Death With The 
Mixed-Up Zombies!

See!

The First Monster Musical!

The classic masterpiece of Steckler was this gem, made for about $38,000, according to sources, and that was, supposedly, the most he ever spent to film a movie. Unless you watch these low-budget types of films, you won't recognize any of the actors' names, but a look at the screen credits reveals some real future star power on the other side of the camera.  Both Vilmos Zsigmond (credited as Wiliam Zsigmond) and Laszlo Kovacs (credited as Leslie Kovacs), names familiar to Academy Awards aficionados, appear as camera operators, and Joseph V. Mascelli, the man who wrote the book that is still studied today on camera work, was the main director of photography.

If you were paying attention, this gem is indeed a "monster musical".  In fact, it is billed as the first monster musical.  Before The Rocky Horror Picture Show, before Little Shop of Horrors, before Phantom of the Paradise, and, yes, before such recent masterpieces as Cannibal! The Musical, The Haunted World of Superbeasto, and Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (and, no, I'm not making any of these titles up...) there was The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?

A note about the title.  Steckler originally was going to call this movie The Incredibly Strange Creature, or Why I Stopped Living and Became a Mixed-Up Zombie.  But on another lot, Stanley Kubrick was filming his classic Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb. Apparently Kubrick thought the title sounded too similar and threaten to sue for big bucks, way more than Steckler had for his movie to produce in the first place.  But a deal was eventually worked out with Kubrick,  and he got to use the title that was eventually used.

Steckler (billed as Cash Flagg) stars as our "hero", a slacker by the name of  Jerry.

Jerry has a buddy named Howard (Atlas King) and the two make plans to go for a day to the carnival on the beach, stopping on the way to pick up Angela (Sharon Walsh), Jerry's girlfriend.  Because Jerry is a slacker with no foreseeable future, Angela's mother does not approve of Jerry, but Angela loves him, primarily because of his free spirit, even though he is a bit of a jerk.

Some background to the carnival:  First, there is this gypsy woman named Madam Estrella (Brett O'Hara, whose main claim to fame is as Susan Hayward's stand-in and had never been in a movie before...and never would after this.  You only have to watch to see why...)  Madam Estrella and her right hand man, an ugly brute named Ortega (Jack Brady) have this lovely little habit of taking unsuspecting patrons and pouring acid in their face, and then imprisoning them in the back room of Estrella's gypsy fortune-telling tent.  (Tents have back rooms???)

Estrella has a sister named Carmelita (Erina Enyo, another one-time only actress).  Carmelita is a stripper who also acts sometimes as a lure for her sister's potential victims.  There is also a dancing duo in some sort of exotic ballet dance number, Marge (Carolyn Brandt, who was Steckler's wife at the time so we know how she got into the movie) and Bill Ward (Bill Ward).  No that's not a typo.  He actually seems to be playing himself.  Marge is an alcoholic who can barely get through her numbers without a drink.  She is also a superstitious sort and visits Madam Estella for what turns out to be bad news.

Meanwhile Jerry has shown up with Harold and Angela and after frolicking around for a while end up in Estrella's tent, where she tells Angela that someone near her will come to an untimely end near water.  But she refuses to tell Jerry's fortune.  (Any ideas why?)

Jerry then has a falling out with Angela because he becomes enchanted by the beauty of Carmelita and wants to go to the strip show, but Angela doesn't.  Of course, Jerry, being the jerk that he is, tells Harold to take Angela home and goes in by himself.  Where, guess what, she lures Jerry back to Estrella's tent.  Where Estrella does some nefarious things with him, including hypnotizing him into being a slasher to take care of some of her more private enemies.

But remember I said this was a musical?  Well it is.  Not that you'd ever write home about these musical numbers.  A couple of them are halfway decent (key word; "halfway"), but none of them have anything to do with advancing the plot.  Which if you've read my opinion on musicals you know that makes it an acceptable musical to me on those merits.  But you may cringe at the singing of the various singers.  There is one guy who does a lounge singer song that makes me wonder if Steckler intentionally found the worst lounge singer he could scrounge up to appear in his movie...

All the dance numbers were done with only one rehearsal.  A bevy of showgirls (showgirls?  in a strip show?), in costumes that probably ate up a big chunk of that $38,000, perform with the lead singer most of the musical numbers.

Keep your eye on those chorus girls, by the way.  One of them is Sharon Walsh, our lead actress playing Angela.  Another interesting tidbit:  An entirely different girl was going to play Angela, but on the night that Steckler wanted to film her in her first scene the actress tried to beg off until the next day because her boyfriend, a drummer in a band, was playing a gig that night and she told Steckler  "I always go to his shows".   Steckler fired her on the spot (as would have I) and grabbed one of the dancers who happened to be walking by and told her she was now going to be the female star.   And that's how Sharon got the part.

Another note; this time about Atlas King.  His real name was, I think, Dennis Kesdekian and he was from Greece.  He couldn't speak much English when he was hired for this movie.  He had to learn is lines phonetically.   The fact that he sounds like a terrible actor can be attributed partially to that fact, but the fact that he seems to do it without an accent seems all that more impressive.  He was only in two movies, this one and Steckler's follow up, The Thrill Killers, and seems to have disappeared off the face of the Earth after that.  Maybe his experiences with Steckler sent him scurrying back to Greece where he has been operating a gyro stand, for all I know. 

I wasn't sure going in how I'd feel about this movie.  I knew I'd appreciate the low-budget aspect of it, but I wasn't sure how I'd feel about the film in general. It turns out, at least to me, that it's not quite the "bad" movie that the general public claims it is.    I liken it to one of those train wrecks that is just so bloody awful but you can't pry your eyes away from it no matter how hard you try.  And to think, it was all done for $38,000.  That's less than one day's bill for some grand extravaganzas you can see down at the multiplex today.  Plus, the "zombies" aren't like any zombies you've ever seen before.  I think they look more like actors in cheap dime-store masks.  But even that is part of the humor I get from it.  Of course you have to bear through the first hour and a half before you get to see these zombies in the last 5 minutes of the movie.

An added note, after it's initial run, Steckler often sent this movie out again under different titles.  Like The Teenage Psycho Meets Bloody Mary (no you didn't miss something.  Nobody in the movie is named "Mary"). and The Diabolical Doctor Voodoo (No doctors in it either).  Steckler even arranged for actors to go to showings and dress up like zombies and run out from behind the screen in the theater, at a pivotal moment, to scare the crap out of unsuspecting patrons (and sometimes he would be one of the actors).  Much like some of the tricks William Castle used to use for his movies, Steckler had a showmanship sensibility.




Well folks, time to fire up the old Plymouth and head home.  I suggest if you see a carnival on the side of the road on the way home, you bypass with all gusto.  Drive safely, folks.

Quiggy

Illegal Aliens

Dislaimer:  The Midnite Drive-In is not responsible for nightmares, insomnia or fear of going to sleep as a result of reading this post.  Read at your own risk.

Entry #2 in a 3-part series of "My Favorite Horror Movies".

Aliens, and alien invasions are usually considered the exclusive dominion of the science-fiction genre.  In point of  fact, aliens, good or bad, are, by necessity, "creature features", and thus should be considered also as horror movies.   Still, the usual alien feature films are looked at and reviewed as science fiction simply because, although no concrete proof exists of the presence of aliens (Von Däniken's "Chariots" notwithstanding), they are considered scientifically feasible or, according to some renowned scientists like Carl Sagan, probable., compared to ghosts, vampires, werewolves and other creatures of legend which are the usual monsters of horror movies, and which no rational scientist would even hint might be real or possible.

Some might balk at classifying The Day the Earth Stood Still, Close Encounters of the Third Kind or E.T. as horror films, and I would whole-heartedly agree.  On the other hand, you would almost HAVE to agree with me that any of the Alien series, The Thing from Another World, The Blob, and Predator, all have elements of horror running through them, despite the fact that they are essentially about alien life forms.  More so than any of these is any of the multiple versions of Jack Finney's book The Body Snatchers.  Each of the directors of the four (so far) versions has had their own slant on the story, but it is essentially at its core a horror story.  John Carpenter's They Live! also plays out as a pure horror movie (but no surprise there since Carpenter's main milieu is the horror genre:  Christine, Halloween, The Fog, his remake of The Thing, etc.)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

Unlike the original 1956 version, which I reviewed in September for the Keep Watching the Skies blogathon (see here), which involves the aliens taking over a small town, the 1978 Phillip Kaufman directed film takes place in San Francisco.  Whether or not the first one outdoes the second one in terror, or vice versa, is a matter of how you personally feel about society in general.  Both have their pluses and minuses.

The 1978 version benefits greatly from the phenomenal musical score, by a guy named Denny Zeitlin, a jazz musician and a pioneer in electronic music.  The music Zeitlin created heightens the terror and suspense of the movie, and it seems a shame, but he never scored another movie.  He has had several offers over the years, but he claims it was too taxing and far too much work, so this film remains his only endeavor into movie soundtracks.

Opening sequences show the pods on another planet, lifting themselves off the planet and floating in space to land on Earth.  (Pay close attention to the opening sequences, because an interesting note is that all of that was done for about $50.  The "planet " is just a 2x4 stick of wood, and the "pods" are just a jar of art department gelatin.  This movie was made for about  $3½ million, and a lot of the special effects were far cheaper than they appear to be on screen).

Opening sequences on Earth have brief glimpses of the pod people already in progress of taking over the Earth.  In one scene a priest (played by Robert Duvall) is swinging  on a swing set in a playground.  You can see the blank stare in his face and you just know there is something odd about him (although it doesn't really click until you have seen others that have been assimilated.)

Matthew (Donald Sutherland) is a health inspector.  He is friends with a fellow health department employee, Elizabeth (Brooke Adams).  When Elizabeth confides to Matthew that her boyfriend, Geoffrey (Art Hindle), has begun acting strangely, and intimates that she thinks it's not really Geoffrey, Matthew suggests that she talk with a friend of his, Dr. Kibner (Leonard Nimoy), who is a pop culture psychologist.  (Remember this is the late 70's.  A time of self help books like Thomas Harris' I'm OK, You're OK, and the me generation.  This whole movie brims with the 70's feel, including some of the most humorous, in retrospect, clothing: polyester suits, sweaters instead of vests on suits, open (wide) collars without ties.   Also, some of the language is so 70's you may be tempted to snicker...)



























While at a Kibner book signing, Elizabeth and Matthew encounter a woman who claims her husband is not her husband.  (Earlier, Matthew had had words with his drycleaner who claimed his wife is not his wife).  Kibner does his best to resolve that situation and then tries to calm Elizabeth's fears.  At the book signing is also a struggling writer friend of Matthew's, Jack Bellicec (Jeff Goldblum).  Jack despises Kibner, mostly because Kibner is a success ful author and he, Jack, is not, but he claims that Kibner's psychology is just so much crap.

Jack and his wife, Nancy (Veronica Cartright), operate a mud baths health spa (there's that overwhelming 70's feel again).  Nancy discovers a half-formed body in one of the stalls and freaks out.  Jack calls Matthew, and together they come to a half-formed conclusion that it is a duplicate of Jack.  Matthew tells Jack to call Kibner, then goes to Elizabeth's house, where he finds her asleep, and another half-formed body that is beginning to look like her.

He carries Elizabeth out, avoiding Geoffrey, who is one of the pod people. When he gets back to Jack's place Kibner is there.  Kibner convinces (or tries to) them it was all just their imagination
 But when Kibner leaves, he gets in a car where Geoffrey and another pod person is, and we are let on to the fact that Kibner has been converted.

Gradually it becomes evident that the flowers which have recently cropped up and which Elizabeth has been trying to identify are the source of pods, which take over the memories and substance of the original human bodies.  Two things distinguish this version from the original.  First, in the original, it is never really revealed what happens to the original human bodies.  In this one, a series of dramatic scenes reveal that the bodies dry up and decay.  Also the bodies of the pod creatures as they are forming are much more solid and disgusting looking.

Special effects do play a bigger part in this version.  Once again, however, there is no alien spaceship landing on the White house lawn, or futuristic death ray guns shot by bug-eyed monsters.  But Kaufman and company did take advantage of a better budget to create some pretty decent special effects.

  I won't reveal how this one ends. You have to see it for yourself.

They Live (1988)

John Carpenter, as I have intimated before on this blog, is my absolute favorite director.  My favorite Carpenter movie of all time is Big Trouble in Little China,which I will get around to reviewing, just waiting for the right blogathon or at least the right time to do so.  I'm also a big fan of his other Kurt Russell collaborations (see Waiting for the Snake for a review of the two Snake Plissken features).  But Carpenter's main ouevre is primarily in the horror genre.

One that really gets me as a lot of fun is one he made during the late Reagan Presidency.  Note: this one may piss you off if you admire Reagan and his economic policies, which had an after-effect of causing the rise of homeless shanty-towns in some of the bigger metropolitan areas.  It is also a sort of condemnation of the commercialization of America.  It could be and probably should be viewed on a secondary level as a political diatribe.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper plays a character called John Nada.  (Nada is Spanish for nothing, which basically makes Piper's character  a fictional "nobody").  John is a drifter, out of work but just looking for an honest day's pay, any job to pay the bills (what little bills he has...).  He gets a job on a construction site and is offered a place to stay in a shantytown by a fellow worker,  Frank (Keith David).

John helps out with some repairs needed in the shantytown and meets the leader of the group, Gilbert (Peter Jason, a familiar face if you watch a lot of these kinds of movies.  You may recognize Jason as the bartender in the cowboy bar from 48 Hours, or any one of some 200 roles he has played over the years).  John observes Gilbert suspiciously hanging around a church, and when he goes to investigate hears a choir practicing.  Meanwhile, back at the camp the regular TV program being watched by some of the residents is getting interference from some hijacked broadcast in which the broadcaster claims that some evil hidden force is "controlling us".

John continues to nose around and finds out that there is no choir in the church.  It is a recording to cover up some secret activity which involves Gilbert and some others from the shantytown.  John also discovers a box of sunglasses, curious about them, but halfway dismissively puts a pair in his pocket.  The next day, while walking outside he puts on the sunglasses he found and immediately the whole world goes black and white.  Signs which are advertisements without the glasses become one word commands like "OBEY" and "SLEEP".

John of course is confused, alternately taking off and putting on the sunglasses, but the real shock is when he sees an obviously rich person who, when he puts on the glasses is revealed to be a very ugly alien.  It becomes obvious that the sunglasses have some special power, but he is unsure what that power might be or what it might mean.  When he confronts an old woman who is in fact one of the aliens and tells her she's as ugly as sin, she speaks into her wristwatch "We have one that can see" and promptly disappears.

When he goes outside he is confronted by cops, which with the benefit of the glasses, he can now see are aliens.  He overpowers them and takes their guns, then goes on a shooting spree, but only killing the aliens.  At a bank he utters one of my favorite movie lines of all time:

"I have come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum....and I'm all out of bubblegum."

John tries to connect up with Frank and after a ridiculous looking wrestling match in which John tells Frank to put on he glasses and Frank refuses, he finally gets Frank to put them on and now Frank can see the alien influences, too.

The last part of the movie has John kidnapping a pretty TV assistant director, Holly (Meg Foster, a woman who has the most mesmerizing eyes I have ever seen).  He tries to convince her of what's going on, but she of course, thinks he's nuts.

 It turns out that is a contingent of humans who do know about the alien invasion and are helping them (much like some of the Jews in the concentration camps helped the Nazis, to get better treatment.  If you can hang on until the end, you'll get a few good scenes that will make watching this one extremely well worth it, especially if you have a sardonic sense of humor like I do.

Well folks, looks like the aliens at the concession stand slipped me a mickey.  I'm getting tired.  Hope you guys can stay awake.

Quiggy