Sgt. Pepper vs. The Disco Invasion

 

 

 

 

So here's a premise for you. Take one of the most beloved and iconic rock albums of all time, cast some then current 70's disco "icons" as characters, add in a bizarre plot that is loosely based on it, and foist it on the public as an ostensible tribute to a band that means more to many people than life itself. 

What you get is a mess that is about as effective as a halfwit with a BB gun facing a rampaging onslaught of evil robots.

This film, which starred disco era icons, the Bee Gees, as the Henderson brothers who, along with their friend, Billy Shears, played by Peter Frampton (who probably should have known better) on a quest to achieve fame, and, as an added plot twist, retrieve the iconic instruments of a predecessor that had been stolen from the idyllic town of Heartland, U.S.A.  The plot itself, however, is just the glue that binds together a host of 70's bands to do cover versions of Beatles songs culled from, mainly, their albums Abbey Road and, of course, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. This is what's known in the industry as a jukebox musical.

The definition of the term "jukebox musical" might require some definition to the newbie. A jukebox musical by strict definition is a musical which incorporates previously known songs, as opposed to original songs written for said musical. Most of the time, it's the songs drive the plot forward. 

However, much like the later released Pink Floyd: The Wall there is not much dialogue in this film. In point of fact, almost nobody other than George Burns, who plays Mr. Kite, has any spoken lyrics. The film relies on the songs themselves to carry the story to it's ultimate conclusion. Note: Apparently there was additional dialogue, including speaking parts for the Henderson brothers, but the Gibb brothers couldn't pull off an American accent, and Peter Frampton, also British, wasn't much better, thus making the illusion of this taking place in the heart of the U.S.A. became an illusion that just didn't work. 

Several other big name acts were either roped, or maybe even duped, into appearing in this film, as well as recording said cover versions of those classic songs. Now, admittedly, a couple of those covers were not entirely bad. I still, to this day, prefer Aerosmith's cover version of "Come Together" than the original Beatles version. But, tell me, is there anything that could be worse than Steve Martin's attempt at doing "Maxwell's Silver Hammer"?

The film actually had a predecessor in the form of an off-Broadway production in 1975, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band On The Road. As near as I can tell, based on the description of it on wikipedia, about the only thing it had in common with the movie version is that they were both derived from the original album. The stage production appears to have virtually the same selection of songs, however, so I can't say how close the movie was to the stage play.

 

 

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978):

 The film opens with a scene from World War I in August 1918, in a little village of "Fleu de Coup" (seriously...) as the Allies and the Central Powers are engaged in battle. As Mr. Kite (George Burns) tells it: 

"The War to End All Worlds did not end soon enough. So Heartland USA sent the Allies it's most effective secret weapon.

Sgt. Pepper... and his Lonely Hearts Club Band." 

On to the scene of the battle marches an oompah band. And everybody stops fighting. And the war ends. (Really!) Hold on to your hats , folks.  It gets even weirder... Apparently the band was instrumental (no pun intended) in solving the depression and even causing the end of WWII to boot.  In 1958, a ceremony is held to inaugurate the installment of a weather vane that, claims Mr. Kite, "will always point to happiness... (as opposed to whichever way the wind is blowing...) At the inauguration, Sgt. Pepper has promised to play one last tune for good old Heartland. (and if Sgt. Pepper was in his 20's in 1918, he seems to have aged 70 or 80 years in the 40 years since...) Sgt. Pepper, sadly keels over on stage mid tune. And Mr. Kite's response? "Oh, well..." Sgt. Pepper leaves his instruments to the town as supposedly, as long as the instruments stayed in Heartland "humanity would live happily ever after".  

All of this in the first five minutes of the movie....

20 years Sgt. Pepper's favorite grandson, Billy Shears (Peter Frampton) forms a band with three of his friends, the Henderson brothers (portrayed by the Bee Gees). They play to the hometown crowd at Heartland, singing With a Little Help from My Friends. 

There's a rumor that B.D. Hoffler of "Big Deal Records" has an interest in this new band. A lot of the credit for this development can be put on the shoulders of Dougie Shears (Paul Nicholas), Billy's avaricious and opportunistic cousin. It is through him and his love of money that much of what happens to our heroes happens in the first place. 

 

The next song we get is Fixing a Hole in which we get George Burns doing a soft shoe dance and "singing" (sort of). Burns had never really been known for his Euterpian abilities, so it's no surprise that his cover is basically what is called "talk-singing".  And Getting Better exemplifies how life is changing for the quartet. Billy and his true love, Strawberry Fields (Sandy Farina), have a final night together before Billy is due to leave to embark on his career. They sing Here Comes the Sun as dawn breaks over Heartland.

 

Mean Mr. Mustard (Frankie Howerd) makes his appearance. His goal, apparently as a lackey for some as yet unknown evil entity, is to steal the treasured instruments of Heartland. The motto of this presence "We Hate Love! We Hate Joy! We Love Money!"

 

The group boards a hot air balloon for the trip to Hollywood (really!). But at some point either they collide with or are magically transported to a better form of transport, a jet airplane. And they get to meet the head of Big Deal Records, B. D. Hoffler (Donald Pleasance, who has to share screen presence, if not billing credit, with his toupee...) During the limo drive and an extremely well catered extravaganza (and by "well-catered" I don't mean the food...), there is a back and forth between all present during a cover of I Want You (She's So Heavy).

 

After signing their contracts at the dinner, which (probably intentionally) brings to mind the typical "deal with the devil" contract signing of a movie version of the Faust tale, the band is on their way. And if that Faust reference was anything prescient, it plays out that way in the boys' case. For the next morning, as the caption reads, they begin "a difficult one week climb from obscurity to stardom". They become huge hits immediately, and have a 37 night run at the Forum, which is "sold out" for every night...  

Good Morning, Nowhere Man, Polythene Pam, and She Came In Through the Bathroom Window exemplify the hold that the band has on it's adoring public. But back home in Heartland, things are not looking too good. Mean Mr. Mustard, who is under the influence of a body now revealed to be "F.V.B.", is preparing to put into action his devious deed, to steal the town's cherished instruments. Aided by The Brute (Carel Struyken), he ties up Mr. Kite and makes away with said artifacts. He is instructed to distribute the instruments to various locations.

 

The cornet is taken to Dr. Maxwell Edison (Steve Martin) and the tuba to cult leader Father Sun (Alice Cooper). And the saxophone of course is due to go to F.V.B. Mustard gets to keep the drum. What the importance of each getting which instrument is, however, is never revealed. As a result of the instruments going missing poor Heartland becomes a den of debauchery and vice (in other words, Las Vegas. A low-rent Las Vegas, anyway...) Strawberry takes a bus to Hollywood to find Billy and the boys and tell them of the tragedy that has befallen Heartland.

She arrives in Hollywood to see the opening act for the boys, Lucy and the Diamonds (Stargard) playing, of course, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.  Strawberry tells Billy of Mr. Mustard's nefarious deed and the boys embark on a quest to retrieve the stolen instruments in Mustard's stolen van, which is conveniently there because Mustard followed Strawberry to Hollywood.

Their first quest is to retrieve the cornet from Dr. Maxwell, "a small time quack" who turns "ugly old corrupt people into handsome young corrupt people". And thus we get what is probably the worst cover version of the movie, Maxwell's Silver Hammer, in which Dr. Maxwell turns a slew of old people into what looks like his version of Hitler Youth. The boys arrive and engage Dr. Maxwell in battle, including a cheesy reenactment of the light saber battle of Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars. But they succeed in getting the cornet.

 

Then on to the next quest.  They go to Father Sun, previously known as Marvin Sunk, who in a previous life was "an unemployed school crossing guard at the bottom of his life"... (Yeah, that would probably be the bottom for me, too...) He had an inspiration to get his revenge on his tormentors, the school kids, by brainwashing them for F.V.B. Why? Because, why else? He has the tuba that was stolen and the guys show up to do battle with him.

 

But Billy get a huge jolt of electricity in the battle and it takes Strawberry to revive him (and finally we get Strawberry Fields Forever sung by Sandy "Strawberry" Farina). There is still the saxophone to retrieve, so the quest must continue.  But frustration takes over among the boys and they end up destroying the computerized portion of the van, thus losing a way to figure out where the saxophone was.

As Heartland descends into chaos and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band starts to rack up concert cancellations, Dougie finally gets a good heart (maybe temporarily) and convinces B. D. to sponsor a benefit concert for Heartland. This concert would essentially have every big band name in the world descending to raise money to save the town, and maybe even the band. Dougie's newfound moral re-righting is short found as he and Lucy attempt to make off with the proceeds of the benefit however (You Never Give Me Your Money).

While the real band, Earth , Wind and Fire (the only act to appear in the movie under it's real name) perform a version of Got to Get You Into My Life, Mustard and the Brute manage to steal the van back, and the instruments, which are still inside. 

 

Not only that, but they kidnap Strawberry to boot.  The boys give chase in, what else, the hot air balloon... (Better add some jet boosters to that thing boys...) Meanwhile, on the van, Mustard, who has a crush on Strawberry, serenades her with When I'm Sixty-Four. The only thing that keeps this part from delving into cheese ball status is that Strawberry turns into a duet. God forbid we be subjected to two Frankie Howerd talk-singing solos...

At  F.V.B. headquarters, we find out that F.V.B. stands for "Future Villain Band" (Aerosmith). "The evil force that would poison young minds, pollute the environment, and subvert the democratic processes... and worst of all, change Strawberry into a mindless groupie!" (Ye gods!) We finally get to the best cover of the movie, as the Future Villain Band performs Come Together. Billy battles the leader of the band and defeats him, but in the process, Strawberry is killed.

 

As Billy serenades Strawberry's body with Carry That Weight, and then wanders away in tears and memories as the strains of The Long and Winding Road play, and the Hendersons mourn for Billy's loss with A Day in the Life, it appears that not everything is going to end in a good world, at least not for everybody. Billy is so distraught that he takes a plunge off a tall building.

Oh, put a lid on those tears! This is a feel good movie! It ain't over yet! (And some of you may be groaning..."There's still more???")  The miracle that HAS to happen to bring the feel good movie back from that dark edge occurs, when a good wind blows on the weather vane (remember the weather vane of the original Sgt. Pepper from the opening?)  and it turns into none other than Sgt. Pepper himself (or in this case Billy Preston) who uses his magic to turn everything back to it's previously happy state (with Get Back), almost as if the events in the movie never happened. 

 

But not, unfortunately, as if the movie itself never happened...

The finale recreates the album cover of the Beatles original album, with everybody who was anybody in the 70's (or at least anybody who would deign to appear in it) getting together to do a chorus of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band". Check out the faces you will recognize in this scene, including Carol Channing, Cousin Brucie, Dr. John, Leif Garrett, Helen Reddy, Tina Turner, and Sha-Na-Na, just to name a few.

 

The movie was nominated for a Stinkers Bad Movie Award (a predecessor to the Razzies), but it lost to If I Ever See You Again (which I never saw, and probably won't see, based on it's story line...)  Also in competition that year were Paradise Alley, Moment by Moment, and The Bad News Bears Go To Japan. Based on that lineup I'm thinking it was close voting between the winner and Moment by Moment. I kind of liked Paradise Alley, and really, the Bad News Bears sequel is not as bad as it's made out to be...

The sad part is, if it's not just hyperbole anyway, is that Universal apparently thought they had the next "Gone with the Wind" on their hands. In reality it was a virtual D.O.A. at the box office. It made back it's investment (barely), but the critics loathed it. As usual, my barometer of the critics is the Tomato-meter which gives this film a rating of 11%. The IMDb website, which gets the public reception of the film, gives it a 4.3 out of 10 based on public voting at the site.

OK, so this movie was not it's generation's Gone with the Wind. It probably wasn't even it's generation's Reefer Madness (although a little reefer before watching might improve it somewhat, I couldn't say).  I do however say it is a much better movie than some of the stuff that Hollywood foisted on the public to try to take advantage of a popular genre or theme in the 70's. Don't believe me? I challenge you to sit through The Star Wars Holiday Special. Even Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park pales by comparison to cheese ball status to that corker...

The film was, needless to say, not very well received. George Harrison, one of the original Beatles, was quoted as expressing sympathy for the Bee Gees, and Frampton and producer of the film, Robert Stigwood. He thought the film "damaged their careers", saying that it was kind of like the Beatles trying to cover the Rolling Stones, the Rolling Stones did it better. Notwithstanding the chutzpah it took to emphasize how much better he and his band were than the artists in question, one could say that it was probably bound to fall short in the eyes of the adoring public of the Beatles. The premiere was attended by Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. Notably not mentioned anywhere is that I guess John Lennon avoided it. But then, Lennon was so full of himself he probably didn't even attend the movies he was actually in...

Some interesting tidbits of information: Did you know that Kiss was originally approached to be Future Villain Band (the part that went to Aerosmith)? Apparently they thought the part would be bad for their careers and instead opted to make Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park, and you can draw your own conclusions about THAT choice...  Some big names that chose to opt out of being involved in this film were Barry Manilow, Olivia Newton-John (who would have been Strawberry Fields) and Bob Hope (who would have been Mr. Kite).

The director, Michael Schultz, had a couple of good movies under his belt, going into this one. Both Car Wash and Greased Lightning are scheduled for my upcoming Semiquincentennial Movie Project next year, as well as Cooley High, noted as a great moment in black cinema.  After this he would still have a career as a director, but most of his output was not on par with his earlier output, with much of it being episodes of TV shows. He was the director of Carbon Copy, however, which although not a huge hit, is notable as being the first big screen appearance of Denzel Washington. He also followed up with two films in 1985 that garnered some good reviews, Krush Groove and The Last Dragon.

If you want to compare this film to examples of how the idea of pairing popular music with a plot that actually works, I recommend the adaptation of the Who's rock operas Tommy or Quadrophenia. But even, staying in the 70's, a case could be made for either Godspell or Jesus Christ, Superstar. Neither of those incorporated previously popular songs, but the outcome was much better. And I can't pass up the opportunity to put a plug in for one of my favorite musicals, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. That list is by no means complete, but it's enough to get you started.

Well, folks, time to fire up the old Plymouth and head back to the good old staid homestead. Drive safely.

Quiggy

 

 

 

The Lion, the Witch and the Bedpost

 

I have often answered the question that pops up occasionally in questionnaires, "What is the first movie you ever saw in the theater?", with the fact that there probably was one or two before Bedknobs and Broomsticks, but that is the one I remember specifically seeing in a theater. The fact of the matter is that the director of this film, Robert Stevenson, also directed Mary Poppins, That Darn Cat! and The Love Bug all between the time I was born and today's movie, all of which I saw as a kid.

However, remember this was the time when Sunday night programming include The Wonderful World of Disney and it's highly likely I saw all of those on TV rather than in a theater. To my credit on that thought, my sister also thinks this was the first movie we saw in a theater environment. (I concede any argument on childhood memories to her because she often has a better memory...)

Robert Stevenson directed many movies in his long career, and starting from about 1957, he almost exclusively did movies for Walt Disney Studios.  If you've been a reader for long enough, you might remember I did a piece on Old Yeller. That was a Stevenson movie, too.  Again, if you are in my age bracket, many of his films may be in your wheelhouse of memories of favorite childhood films. Besides the movies already mention in the first paragraph, he also directed Johnny Tremain, Darby O'Gill and the Little People, The Absent-Minded Professor and it's sequel, Son of Flubber, Herbie Rides Again (a sequel to The Love Bug) and The Shaggy D.A. 

There are some interesting possibilities as to what this movie could have been. You may know Angela Lansbury stars as our heroine/witch. But some of the other actresses considered for the role were Lynn Redgrave and Julie Andrews. One of the things I found out while doing the research for this blog entry is that Andrews turned the part down because she was afraid of being typecast, but later had a change of heart and became willing to do it.  But by then Lansbury had already been given the role.

For the part of Dr. Emelius Browne, Peter Ustinov was considered, and Dick van Dyke had also been a possibility. But like Andrews, van Dyke turned the part down because he considered it to close to the character he played in Mary Poppins. 

The film garnered fairly positive reviews and was the #9 movie in terms of box office sales for the year. Considering that it was released in the same month as A Clockwork Orange, Diamonds are Forever and Dirty Harry, three movies that placed higher in terms of ticket sales, and still managed to come in the top ten, I'd say that's pretty good.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971):

 In 1940 England, in a little village called Pepperinge Eye, many children are being shipped from London to be housed in something like refugee houses.  The basic premise of this is that it is at the height of WWII and Germany's bombings of London. I am guessing that the children all have parents who stayed behind to face the dangers that the Nazis are perpetuating on British soil, but have sent the children away for their own protection. It doesn't really make much sense that they are being sent to live with total strangers, but then this is a different era. Most people are good by nature, (especially in Disney movies. what?) so they will be safer with these total strangers in an unfamiliar territory than facing the threat of Hitler's Luftwaffe and their incendiary bombs.

 

All of the children have been doled out except three kids, two boys and a girl, all from the same family. You don't find out until a little later in the movie that the children, Charlie (Ian Weighill), Carrie (Cindy O'Callaghan) and Paul (Roy Snart) are actually orphans whose parents have died and were living with their aunt at the time, but even the aunt is now dead as a result of the bombings.  So they actually have no home to return to even if they could go back.

 

Into this mix comes a sweet but slightly daffy woman named Miss Price (Angela Lansbury). Miss Price is not entirely with the program of housing the children, but she is essentially forced to do so by the town leaders because she has a big house and lives all by herself. She reluctantly agrees, but only until some other situation for them can be achieved. It turns out that Miss Price is an apprentice witch.  She has been taking witch casting spells classes via a correspondence course (and if the first thing that comes to mind is those companies that will make you a full-fledged pastor via mail, you're not far off...) At the same time as she is taking the children in, she has also taken possession of her witch's broom, which will enable her to fly. 

 

Sure enough, the children see her flying and Charlie, being an opportunistic little brat, decides he is going to blackmail Miss Price for better living conditions.

 

Miss Price gets the kids to agree by giving them a gift, a bed knob she has imbued with a magical spell that, when used properly, will enable them to fly. There is some convoluted spell involved which only the youngest boy, Paul, is able to make it work (because it was his bed knob...) At about this time Miss Price discovers that the final page of her spell book is missing a page or two. This is disconcerting because Miss Price had plans to use that final spell, called "Substitutionary Locomotion". Essentially this spell would animate previously inanimate objects, giving these things the ability to move on their own power. What Miss Price's plan was is not entirely well-thought out (or at least not entirely made clear to the audience), but somehow, apparently, she expected to be able to use the spell to defeat the Nazis. And to make matters worse, she receives a telegram from the correspondence college saying that it is closing up shop for the duration of the war. In an effort to get the missing pages she has Paul use his new magical device to take the bed to London to find the man in charge of the correspondence school, Professor Emelius Browne (David Tomlinson). 

 

It turns out that Browne is a charlatan.  He didn't really  have any idea those spells were effective.  He just found them in an old book.  In other words he was bilking his "students" for what he assumed were basically just nonsense words. He reminds me of Dr. Zachary Smith from Lost in Space, a guy who is trying to use any means necessary to gain an advantage over his unsuspecting audience.

 

It turns out that, since Professor Browne has no idea what that final spell was, they have to seek out the guy from whom he bought the original book, a Mr. Bookman (Sam Jaffe). Mr. Bookman has been seeking the same spell, but since he only had the second half of the book, he doesn't know much more than Miss Price and Browne. But Paul (remember young Paul?) has the solution.  He has a comic book he found in Miss Price's house which mentions a fabled land called  Namboombu. On this fabled island the animals have all become anthropomorphic, able to think and talk. And on this island is a medallion that contains the words to the final spell.

The crew uses the magic bed to go to this island, and thus we get an extended sequence where they interact with animated animals led by a lion, King Leonidas. The King wants to get rid of the human interlopers but Browne manages to save them by volunteering to be a referee for a soccer game between two teams, one of which is led by the King. A long extended sequence involves each team trying to score a goal on the other and win the game. At the same time the human crew are trying to figure out how to get the medallion that the King wears, which contains the words of the spell, away from him.

 

Eventually they do get the medallion and return to the real world where, surprise, a crew of Nazi soldiers has taken over the town.  Now equipped with the medallion and the spill of Substitutionary Locomation, Miss Price animates a horde of suits of armor to attack them and drive them off.

The movie ends in classic Disney style with everyone going off in an "all's well that ends well fashion. But there are a few things that really stand out as a bit confusing to me.  And Roger Ebert in his review at the time also points it out.  In Disney tradition you usually had an evil dragon or a wicked witch or some other "fantasy" bad guy for the children to root against, and they usually showed up fairly early and were instrumental in leading the side of good to accomplish their own goals.  Here the bad guys don't show up until the movie is almost over.  And the bad guys are... Nazis? I mean really, is that the kind of bad guy children would understand?

The second thing I never got: what was the point of the clergyman, Mr. Jelk (Roddy McDowell)? McDowell seems to be abhorrently underused in this film. And he got third place billing in the credits.  From what I read there was another plot going on that was cut out in which Mr. Jelk was a bit more obviously materialistic, trying to wangle a marriage with Miss Price just to get her farm. (Snidely Whiplash???) 

 

The third thing that stuck out was the length of time this movie takes to reach it's conclusion. I mean, typically a children's movie tops out at about an hour and a half in length.  This one stretches out to nearly two and a half hours. I don't really remember at this late a date whether I followed along with this movie for it's entire duration at age 9, but I wonder if kids these days or even then could stay with it.  The animated soccer game seems to be much longer than necessary and even some of the earlier scenes in London seem to be padding the movie beyond what I would think was acceptable.

As far as an adult watching it, it's not completely bad, but even as an adult I thought there was way too much extra stuff going on here.  I could have edited several scenes down considerably and not lost a bit of plot line. Still, if you have children with a good amount of patience for extraneous stuff, it's decent enough.

Well, folks, time to rev up the Plymouth for the drive home. Sure wouldn't mind a car that could fly by itself like the bed in this movie, but one must make do for the war effort...

Quiggy

 

    

 

Risque Happenings

 

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This is my entry in the Seventh Broadway Bound Blogathon hosted by Taking Up Room

 

 "Rumors spreadin' 'round

In that Texas town

About that shack outside La Grange.

(You know what I'm talking about.)

Just let me know

If you wanna go

To that home out on the range.

(They got a lot of nice girls there.) 

  Lyrics to "La Grange" by Z Z Top

It was featured in a movie.  Before that it was in a hit Broadway play.  Before that it was paid homage by a boogie band from Texas, Z Z Top (see above).

And before that it was a REAL place. 

"The Chicken Ranch", as it was known, operated from the early 1900's until 1973. Quite a bit of the folklore behind the actual place became a part of the play (and subsequent movie) that was eventually produced.  Local constabulary were indeed involved in keeping the place open and there was also a crusader, Marvin Zindler, who was behind it's eventual closing, in 1973.

Vintage icon

 

The historian (and general "in your face" provocative person) in me thinks the place ought to have been made a state treasure and kept as a historical site. To his credit, the owner has been trying to get a historical marker for the site. The building itself is in such disrepair that it's nothing to look at. Part of it was used to build a bar in Dallas and the rest is in shambles.

Breaks the heart, don't it?

The city of La Grange would like to have visitors come for more than just the "less than reputable" historical site, but there are some memorabilia available on their city website which feature "The Chicken Ranch" on it, so it's not exactly like they are trying to sweep the past under the carpet.

Shop La Grange  (just in case you're interested...)

In 1978 a Broadway musical was produced based on the place and the events surrounding it's eventual closing, written by Peter Masterson and Larry L. King (no relation to Larry King, the radio talk show guy, as far as I know...).  The name of the town was changed from La Grange to a fictional town of Gilbert, but the story was basically the story behind the real place. 

In the play, Miss Mona and the local sheriff, Ed, kept the place running on the up-and-up (so to speak), but pressure from an investigative journalist, Melvin Thorpe, caused the place to come under scrutiny. And eventually causes it to have to close down.

The play garnered some Tony Award attention. (The Tony Awards are the Oscar equivalent for Broadway shows.) It won Best Actor and Best Actress (for Henderson Forsythe and Delores Hall, respectively).  It was also nominated in the categories of Best Musical, Best Book of a Musical (the story), Best Direction and Best Choreography.

In 1982, the play was produced as a film, with Dolly Parton as Miss Mona and Burt Reynolds as Ed, with Dom DeLuise as the crusading Melvin. The movie also added a new song (which wasn't exactly "new", as Dolly Parton had first recorded it years earlier) "I Will Always Love You" (later to be recorded by Whitney Houston for The Bodyguard). Note: I always thought "Hard Candy Christmas" was an original Dolly song, too, due to the fact that her version is the one I always hear, but it turns out that it was written for the original musical.

The film version had the production team of Miller-Milkis-Boyett. Who are they, you might  be asking (especially if you don't pay attention to the credits)?  Well, under various incarnations of those three we got a plethora of TV shows of the past.  Those three together were behind the Tom Hanks / Peter Scolari TV show Bosom Buddies. But under Miller-Milkis, we got Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley and Mork Mindy. And under the Miller-Boyett production label we got Family Matters, Full House (and Fuller House), Perfect Strangers and Step By Step. Surely you've seen one or more of those. (Of course they also gave us Joanie Loves Chachi , but don't hold that against them.) 

This time around, the story was not quite the boffo event that the play had been.  It only made about double it's budget back in ticket sales. Impressive, maybe, but that's only $69 million against a $35 million budget. Musicals, by the early 80's, had become passe', so it's not entirely surprising. I went to see it in it's original theatrical release (mainly for the story; even then I wasn't big on musicals.) But there was also another reason...

Dolly at 36

 

(Hey, what were you expecting from a 20 year old [at the time] male?) 

The movie did garner some notice in the awards community.  Charles Durning as the Governor got a nod for Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars.  And the Golden Globes committee gave noms for the picture and Dolly for Best Picture and Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical. 

 

No. I'm serious... 36...

It was rated R, of course.  I mean, what were you expecting in a movie about a whorehouse? Eight course dinners? But there are no overtly explicit scenes in it.  Of course, late in the movie there is a raid on the place and many in attendance are caught in flagrante delicto. But it's pretty tame for the most part.  Of course, you wouldn't want to watch it with the young 'uns in the room, but if I have to warn you of that, you didn't read the title of the movie...

So, was it a good film?  Read on.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982):

Note on the pictures: If the caption has "" on it, the caption is the title of the song being sung in the scene.

The film opens with a shocker.  Deputy Fred looks through an old -fashioned stereoscope and then turns and breaks down the fourth wall and addresses you, the viewer:

 

It was the nicest little whorehouse you ever saw

And if you can get past Gomer Pyle touting a house of ill repute, you 're halfway home...

The background is told about the original madam and the original sheriff, both of whom moved the base of operations from the back of the town feed store to a place on the outskirts of town.  And through two world wars, and thick and thin, the place managed to survive.  With sometimes other ways of paying the piper when money was tight. Which included trading chickens for services (thus explaining how the place became know as "The Chicken Ranch"... cute, huh?)

"20 Fans"

The action moves to present day (1973), where the whole plot takes place.  The original madam has passed away, leaving the house and it's environs to Miss Mona (Dolly Parton) who runs the house, with the blessing of the town sheriff, Ed Earl Dodd (Burt Reynolds), where everything is under control by Mona, keeping the place on the up-and-up (more or less).

"Little Bitty Pissant Country Place"

Mona and Ed have a romantic relationship outside of the professional relationship, even though Ed sometimes gets on Mona's nerves, due to his unwillingness to actually be romantic about it. And at this point we get Dolly and Burt (Burt sings???) singing about their relationship.

"Sneakin' Around"

The get together is interrupted by Deputy Fred who tells Ed earl that the mayor is looking for him. Business before pleasure... Trouble is brewing.  The mayor (Raleigh Bond) and town bigwig C. J. (Barry Corbin) inform Ed that a Houston news personality, Melvin P. Thorpe, who has an expose' program called The Watchdog Report, is planning an expose' on the Chicken Ranch.  Not exactly the kind of publicity that the town wants. (although it's intimated in the beginning that the existence of the place is already a known quantity, so you'd think it wasn't that big a deal).

But Ed decides to take matters in his own hands and goes to Houston to take care of the "little peckerwood". Melvin (Dom DeLuise) is not a man to shy away from controversy, especially if it means ratings.  Despite Ed's polite democratic chat, Melvin goes on the air anyway.

"Texas Has a Whorehouse in It!"

And that ain't the worst of it.  Melvin takes his show on the road and sets up a live broadcast in front of the county courthouse.  But he may have bit off more than he can chew as Ed runs his oversized butt out of town, with a few choice words to go with him.  But then again, maybe Ed misjudged the power of an egotistical self-righteous publicity hunter like Melvin P. Thorpe.

Ed and Mona go out camping and (Product placement warning) drink Schlitz beer.  Now, why, in God's name, are they not drinking Lone Star?  It is Texas, after all... oh, well...  Anyway, that night Melvin runs the video of Ed chewing him out. Shoulda been a little more discreet, there, Ed.

The city leaders convince Ed to have Mona shut down the place for a couple of months until the storm blows over and Mona agrees.  But she forgot about the annual celebration.  See, after every year's Texas / Texas A&M football game the seniors of the winning team get treated to a party at the Chicken Ranch.  And we can't be breaking tradition, what would we be if we broke tradition...? Savages, that's what!

So she goes back on her promise, but it's only going to be for the football celebration, so things should go all right if she waits until tomorrow. And with A&M the victors, the team is highly anticipating their celebration.

"The Aggies Song"

(Just a side note: it's supposed to be a winning present but it's also supposed to be only the seniors. If that's the case, then when this class graduates, A&M may have trouble next year... Because it looks like the whole team is in attendance.)

And, of course, as luck would have it, the Watchdog crew goes through town on it's way out to the Ranch.  And Fred gives Ed the bad news.  Miss Mona is not closed down entirely. Melvin and his crew arrive and take pictures which includes one of the district's Senator (Robert Mandan). Ed arrives just a little too late to put out the fire before it starts. Mona and Ed have some harsh words, and he leaves. 

He leaves town to go to Austin to discuss the situation with the governor. And finally, an hour and 20 minutes into the movie we finally get to see The Governor (Charles Durning).  

"The Sidestep"

Why do I say finally?  Because Durning was nominated for Best Supporting Actor at that year's Oscars.  While admittedly there have been nominees with less screen time in a film (his on screen time only amounts to about 10 minutes, 6 of which is his song and dance number...), I would hazard a guess that it was the latest in a movie for one of those who garnered that nomination to make their appearance.  (And, BTW,  I'm not going to speculate on who SHOULD have won. Louis Gossett, Jr actually took the award for An Officer and a Gentleman, but also in the running were Robert Preston for Victor/Victoria, John Lithgow for The World According to Garp and James Mason for The Verdict. Based on those, I'm guessing that Durning was possibly lucky if he came in fourth in the voting.)

Ed tries to get the Governor to use his power to keep the place open, but being a politician, he refuses to do anything before knowing which way the wind blows. Once he gets the results of a poll that has a majority in favor of closing it, however, he tells Ed he has to shut it down.

Ed calls to break the bad news to Mona, who has to break the news to her girls.  And she finds out about Ed's trip to Austin to try to get the Governor's help in keeping it open.

"Hard Candy Christmas"

The ending of the movie has Ed showing up and repairing the damage as best he can.  He tells Mona he wants to marry her.  Mona, for her part, tells Ed he would be better off, since he has a future in politics, to do without being married to a former prostitute.

"I Will Always Love You"

But Ed is nothing if not determined. He takes Mona's stuff off the truck she had packed to leave town and throws it in his own truck.  And they drive off into the sunset.

So it occurs to me that this movie quite possibly could be rated as a "romantic comedy". If so, it is one more in a very relative few in that genre that I like.

If you made it this far into the review, and haven't decided it offends your sensibilities, I'm going to leave you with a final few tidbits of trivia. All courtesy of IMDb, so take them as you will, depending on your trust in the authenticity of the site:

First, the part of Ed Earl went to Burt, but there were several others who had been considered for the part including Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson and Gene Hackman.  Miss Mona had her own list of candidates, including Crystal Gayle and Barbara Mandrell. And by the way, does anybody else besides me think Lois (Dulcie Mae) Nettleton looks a lot like Mandrell? I actually though she was until I watched the credits...

And also, in the role of The Governor, Mickey Rooney was considered.  It was Burt himself who suggested that Charles Durning be given a shot at the role.

At the end of the movie Burt picks up Dolly and carries her to his truck.  He supposedly suffered a double hernia as a result.

Despite the prurient subject matter, this movie is a fun movie to watch. 

Really... 36!!!

Well, folks, time to get the old Plymouth on down the road.  I'm going straight home.  Really.  I am NOT going to route a detour through some little pissant country place.  Honest!

Quiggy

Blues for a Sunday

On October 11, 1975, a group of performers gathered together to foist upon the public what is one of the longest running TV shows in history, Saturday Night Live.  It has only a few rivals for that  distinction (all of which are either soap operas or news shows).  Three months into the show's first season, on Jan. 17, 1976, during the 10th episode, cast members John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd dressed in bee costumes, touted as "The Killer Bees" and performed a Slim Harpo song "I'm a King Bee".  This was the first incarnation of what would eventually morph into "the Blues Brothers".

Initially, the genesis stemmed from Ackroyd and Belushi's affinity for old blues records.  It did take a while for the Blues Brothers to emerge.  They performed as the bees characters 11 times during the first season.  But Belushi notably was quoted as saying he hated the bees.  Not long afterwards they reincarnated as the "Blues Brothers".

Ackroyd and Belushi pulled together a monster list of well known studio musicians from the blues world.  These included Matt "Guitar" Murphy, Tom "Bones" Malone, "Blue" Lou Marini, Steve "The Colonel" Cropper, Donald "Duck" Dunn, Willie "Too Big" Hall, Murphy "Murph" Dunne and Alan "Mr. Fabulous" Rubin.

They performed together for a notable concert, released as an album, Briefcase Full of Blues, in 1978, with Belushi and Ackroyd taking on the personas of "Joliet" Jake and Elwood Blues respectively.  This was parlayed into a movie contract.  Belushi and Ackroyd played the titular Blues brothers while the rest of the band basically appeared as themselves.

The Blues Brothers (1980):

"Joiliet" Jake Blues(John Belushi) is just being released from prison for serving time for committing armed robbery.  He is picked up by his brother, Elwood (Dan Ackroyd).  To Jake's consternation, Elwood picks him up in a police car.  It seems that during the time that Jake was in prison, his brother had parlayed the original "Bluesmobile" in a trade for a microphone, and had since gotten the used police car at an auction.  Jake is upset, but Elwood convinces him that it is a good new "Bluesmobile" after engaging in a car chase with the police which manages to destroy a mall.

Jake and Elwood have to go see "The Penguin" (Kathleen Freeman), their name for the Mother Superiior at a Catholic school where they had schooled in their younger days.  The Penguin breaks the bad news to the boys that the Catholic Church intends to shut down the school because the property taxes on the building are too high and the church wants to sell the old building outright.

Spurred on by the janitor, Curtis (Cab Calloway), who had spun old blues records for them when they were kids, Jake and Elwood try to devise a way to raise the money to pay the taxes.  Ultimately they decide to reunite their old band.  The problem is most of them have moved on to real jobs and are unlikely to be willing to join up.

For one thing, Mr. Fabulous is now head maitre' d at a fancy French restaurant.  Matt Murphy has gotten himself hitched and works with his wife (Aretha Franklin) at a chicken jointin downtown Chicago.  Murphy Dunne and some of the others have a gig in a hotel bar playing cheesy music for the patrons.  Most of them are somewhat initially reluctant to reunite, but Elwood and Jake shame them into reuniting in various ways.

Together the band load up the equipment and go out to a gig that Jake has lined up for them.  Except Jake really has no gig.  His first act is to convince a local redneck bar that they are the scheduled headliners "The Good Old Boys" a country band.  How they manage to pull that off is a sight to see.  But when the real band shows up, and the Blues Brothers attempt to skip out on their bar tab with the redneck bar owner, a chase is on.

Over the course of the movie, the Blues Brothers manage to wangle themselves into a serious altercation with a neo Nazi group, the aforementioned redneck band and bar owner and of course the entire police forces of the city of Chicago and the state of Illinois.  The whole movie, from a plot aspect, is just one long car chase with lots of cars getting destroyed (all except the Bluesmobile, which manages to escape any damage until the final reel).

But what really makes the movie are the guest stars, a who's who of blues music.  You get Aretha Franklin performing her classic song "Think".  You get Ray Charles performing "Shake a Tail Feather".  You get the band performing "Everybody Needs Somebody to Love' and my absolute favorite version of my absolute favorite blues song "Sweet Home Chicago".  And to top it off you get James Brown as a revivalist preacher doing a bang up job of an old gospel song "The Old Landmark".  Plus Cab Calloway sizzles in one scene doing a warmup for the concert the Blues Brothers are scheduled to perform by doing his classic "Minnie the Moocher".

The plot of The Blues Brothers is good enough for one or two viewings by itself, but the music is sure to keep you coming back time and again.

The same could be said about the sequel Blues Brothers 2000.  In this case the plot is pretty much crap, however.  But damn, the songs on it are well worth sitting through the rest of the movie.  Unfortunately by the time they got around to this sequel, Belushi, Calloway and John Candy from the original movie were dead, but John Goodman does a halfway decent job taking over on the music side.   Plus, at the end of the movie you get a battle of the bands with the Blues Brothers on one side and an all-star cast of blues musicians called The Louisiana Gator Boys, with B. B. King leading them on the other side.  (Way too many to list here, but among them is Eric Clapton).  I highly recommend sitting through the claptrap plot just to see the musical interludes.

Well folks, time to fire up the old Plymouth and head home.  Watch out for the rednecks... and the Nazis... and especially the cops.

Quiggy