eyes

“In the Absence of Light”
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“In the Absence of Light”

There’s an absence of light
Behind my eyes,
An absence of words
In my fingers,
And on my tongue
Sings voices I have not heard
In many years.
There’s an absence of warmth
From my arms,
Where a baby would sit;
An absence of solemnity,
The kind that was sad
But also safe.
There’s an absence of fear
Yet an absence of strength
In my legs, enough
To stand on sand
As the chilling ocean waves
Sweep me out from under.
An absence of sincerity
Haunts my movements
And my intentions,
An absence of desire
For camaraderie,
Fellowship, constraint.
An absence of openness.
There’s an absence of light
Because I walk in the dark.
But in the absence of light,
I still walk.

Catherine Joy

Going Crazy: A Poem
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Going Crazy: A Poem

Just gonna first say…oops! I’ve missed FIVE weeks of poem posts! Because of that (and because of previous occasions of missing weeks), I will no longer falsely title my posts “a poem a week” because, well, it has not exactly been faithful to that timeframe. Anyway…have a poem!

Going Crazy

I pull the string and get off
Anywhere, and I walk, walk, walk.
Sit in front of a house I like
And close my eyes, pretend I live there.
Pretend, pretend.
Daydream until it breaks my heart.
Until I’m broken.
Then I get up and breathe,
Walk, walk, run.
My feet clop-clop on the sidewalk
Because I wore my heeled boots today.
And I breathe to that sound.
I breathe, and lose, and lose,
And can’t stop running.
Away, away,
Sit down and hold my breath.
I see another bus pass by.
Close my eyes again because
I can’t scream.
I tap my toe, bite my lip,
Bring my fingers to my scalp.
I look up to the leaves,
The shining orange leaves
That are beautiful and feel like forever.
They could stay forever, in my mind,
If I choose to let them.
There’s a house with a porch
And I almost take the steps,
Just so I can stand there and pretend
I could stand there forever.
And then I remember: nothing lasts forever.
There’s a bus stop three meters away,
And I walk, walk, walk.
I put headphones to my ears
And forget I was ever here.
And so to the end, the end of days
When I’ll remember this moment again,
And I’ll think to myself,
“Boy, was I crazy.”

Catherine Joy

5 Ways to keep your eyes on the prize (a.k.a. your dream)
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5 Ways to keep your eyes on the prize (a.k.a. your dream)

  1. Make it visible

Keep your dream in front of you at all times. A great way to do this is to make a vision board. At least have your dreams or a motivational quote written down somewhere where you can always see it.

2. Have accountability

Designate a friend or family member to be your accountability for your dreams. They will be the person to keep you on track and check in on where you are with achieving your goals.

3. Seek out a mentor

This person is different from your accountability. They are the knowledgeable one who will train you in the area of your dream and help you develop.

4. Dedicate a space

Find out where and how you work best. The right space will be organized and designed to provide you the most focus and output. It may be your room or a coffee shop or your local Barnes & Noble. Experiment in different locations and observe your level of concentration and productivity. Then, keep going back to that place!

5. Learn your productivity triggers

Do you know what motivates you to work? Pay attention to the things that trigger you into ultra-drive, that inspire new ideas, that energize you, that feed your passion to take on the world. When you know your productivity triggers, you can use them as tools to get yourself into the working zone.

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A Poem A Week #1

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I heard them say that poetry heals

So I heard them say
That poetry heals,
But then again
I hear them say many things.
I’ve heard it said
The you pour out your heart out
When you write.
But my heart is still here.
There’s nothing but words.
Words plague my mind
And dance in my eyes.
They whisper in my ear
Like a ghost,
Or a chilled wind
Over my shoulder.
So they say these words
Are magic, thrumming, sweet,
Music to the soul.
But my soul is still here.
It is not stirred.
I hear them say
That poetry heals.
But look, I wrote a poem,
And the pain is still here.

By Catherine Joy

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A Poem A Day #508

What do you say?

My brother took my hands
And said, “I want you to see
A wide open land, a horizon,
And many beautiful trees.
And Jesus is standing,
Waiting, on a low sloping hill.”
I could see it in my mind,
A sweet and breathless thrill.
“He only has eyes for you,”
He said. Jesus’ eyes are shining,
And there was a gentle breeze
Effortlessly combining
With the sensation of awe
That trilled in my chest.
The way Jesus looked at me,
It had to be the best.
“He holds something in his hand.
He is turning it to and fro.
Do you know what it is?”
Yes, I certainly did know.
“It’s a ring,” I said,
My eyes tightly closed.
“And what does that mean?” he asked.
I think Jesus just proposed.
“He wants me to be his bride.”
“And what do you say?”
That is when I cried.
My heart burned
With an unspeakable pain.
I could fee the tightly gripping hand;
I could feel the binding chain.
“I want to,” I said.
“I want to, but I can’t say yes.”
“That’s okay,” my brother said.
“He doesn’t love you any less.”
Jesus reached out his hand,
And I looked at with shame.
“It’s okay, my love,” he said.
“I still see you the same.
I will keep wooing you,
Every single day.
I will never leave you nor forsake you.
So what do you say?”

By Catherine Joy