confidence

Overcoming the Poison of Society’s “Success”
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Overcoming the Poison of Society’s “Success”

In the pursuit of a dream, we will stumble across many “poisons” that attempt to deter us, weaken us, and make us doubt our dream’s capability and legitimacy. Like a physical poison, it’ll work through your system and slowly kill any hope of passion and confidence.

One of those poisons that has haunted me quite a lot is the perceived notion of “success” that is intentionally-unintentionally pushed on us from society. Well, it is half the time, and then the other half is our own self-imposed notion. There’s different factors that we may deem “successful,” and it can slightly differ amongst us, but overall it involves the same concept. And, ultimately, it results in us believing that because our lives don’t match this picture, then we’re not successful.

First of all, this is all this “success” is: a picture. An idea. An ideal imagined by generations of a collective culture that has changed and merged and intersected so much we’ve lost track. So this picture of “success” has changed an insurmountable amount of times. It’s irrelevant. It’s pointless. There’s no need to pay it any attention.

Here are a few things to dwell on:

  • What makes you happy?

Now, if having a certain income or marrying well or climbing the ladder to CEO or becoming famous is what makes you happy, then by all means pursue it! If none of that matters to you, then there’s nothing wrong or different about that. If you’re happy, or at least content, I’d say you’re doing pretty good.

  • Every path is different.

Even when two people are pursuing the same thing, they won’t do it exactly the same way. And both are valid and equally successful.

  • What’s better: satisfied others or satisfied you?

What’s so great about living a life that others demand and being miserable and bitter all the time? I’m sure you’d rather be pleased with yourself. Now, this doesn’t mean you don’t listen to wise and well-meaning advice from those you trust and who know you well, and this doesn’t mean you don’t practice humility and sacrifice (after all, Character comes before dreams). But also don’t forget to listen to your own gut. Even in the midst of presumed certainty, your gut will never lie.

  • Society knows nothing of you.

You know you. Your family and friends know you. What do they say about you? What does your heart say about you?

  • Divert your thoughts when they dwell too long on this “success.”

Thinking too much about this will only make you lose hope and energy. Have a plan to divert your thoughts to something more productive, and something more positive. Choose a subject on which you will habitually think about when your mind starts to wander into darkness (Philippians 4:8-9, “think on these things…”)

Some things require you to be a nuisance
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Some things require you to be a nuisance

During my first experience of getting a job, I learned something pretty quickly: sometimes, you have be a little bit annoying.

It was necessary for me to make calls and follow up with people and be just a little bit pushy. And that was against my nature. I concluded that if I wanted a job, I had to develop some persistence.

There are many, many things in life that you will never get unless you determine to put in a little work of persistence and push. And, sometimes, you might just have to be a bit of a nuisance. But practice with tact. Everyone knows its healthy to be assertive but not aggressive. If you prepare yourself now to be okay with it, then it will become less and less difficult when it’s necessary. I still have to push myself to push, but with each occasion I have found it easier and less self deprecating. I don’t feel like I’m a horrible person when I persist. Not anymore. I feel like a more confident person, in fact.

5 Things that may benefit your dream
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5 Things that may benefit your dream

Regardless of what dream you have, there are some things we can all do that will benefit the accomplishment of that dream. Here are few things that you can do that just might help you get a little closer:

  1. Educate yourself. It doesn’t necessarily have to be going to college. With the amount of resources available to us right at our fingertips, you can teach yourself anything. Jump online, read a book, or find an expert, and study up.
  2. Learn a secondary trade. For the sake of becoming more rounded, get good at something other than your dream. Not only will you have something to fall back on, being knowledgeable in other areas opens up more opportunities for you.
  3. Develop your reading and writing skills. Even if your dream job has nothing to do with words of any kind, having good writing skills will always, always be needed, especially in the beginning stages. You’ll be writing lots of stuff to lots of people to land those golden opportunities, so always be developing your skills.
  4. Stay active. I don’t mean physically, although that would also be a very good thing to keep up. I mean socially, economically, culturally, and environmentally. If you find yourself living a circle kind of pattern, find something new to get involved in. It doesn’t have to be longterm. And if you have an idea, act on it. If it fails, move on to a new one.
  5. Do what builds your confidence. If baking cookies makes you feel confident, or shooting hoops, or singing music covers, or critiquing movies, or framing photos, you name it! do it. Confidence will benefit everything about you, not just your dream.

There’s much more you can do to help make your dream a reality. What do you do to achieve your dream?