I am the starlit stillness of night 
me, the messiah, holy of light

"In the solar system I found that time a consolation I thought I lost so long ago, a peace in infinite isolation of a living being that can muse of death; with only my eyes looking outward from the inward world of the only myself I am and my universe ever so flamboyant and shy, sincere in its richness of the nuance and desperately empty like an old metal box rusted through"

I am the starlit stillness of night 
me, the messiah, holy of light

me, the messiah

ending explanation: while recording noise gain automation for the last section I fell asleep for a brief moment and my hand slipped

nighty

I just remembered

lyrics:
uhhmmm
aauuuhh
aaaauahh-ah... aah

aaaaaaaaa-aah
aaaaaaaaa-aa-aa-aah
a-a-a-ah
aaa-aaah
aaaa-aaaa-aaaah
aaaa-aaaah
aaa-aaaaaah

was a reading

ways I can fail multiply
ways I can flail on the wind with my lies
wasn't seeing it there

was I ever present there?
was I present there?
was I present here all this time
without you
here

can fail

lay, sit, stand

patterns and prisms

на холмах полые каркасы многоэтажек молчаливо возвышаются над городом и над нами пока мы пересекаем вязкое заснеженное поле; в небе нет звёзд, темнота удушающе громоздится над головой, только иногда сбрасывая вниз горсти снежинок, панически снующих вразброс словно стайка птиц, спасающихся от погони. первый дом стоит углом к полю и окружён бездонным рвом через который переброшен дощатый мостик, замеченный нами ещё с последнего песчаного террикона. по слухам, здесь пропало уже больше дюжины человек. я задираю голову — верхние этажи и шпили с красными огнями теряются в темноте, сегодня их не видно даже с места где мы перелазили забор, там, где кто-то оборвал колючую проволоку. необъятное облако зацепилось за бетонные башни, улеглось на исковерканные бульдозерами холмы и притаилось.

hollow halls

fluorine

never get to guess the tells precisely
shell is keeping up I'm treading lightly
shell is done apart I'm running wildly
far the alley leads me yet the heavy morrow keeps me

should've seen it wasn't really being knit tight
took it on my chin I rode it out I rode a cold night
feeling on my face a wind so fresh I could've been fine
I it ever was fine, if it ever was right

far the morrow keeps me 
asphalt is built to hit me hard
***
crust upon the crust 
asphalt is built to hit me

should've seen it wasn't really being knit tight
took it on my chin I rode it out I rode a chill night
feeling on my face a wind so fresh I could've been fine
if I ever was, if I ever was right

p-paths

[includes my undergrad psychopathophysiology lecture]

The Final Maelstrom (最果ての渦, Saihate no Uzu) is the seventh and last known layer of The Abyss. All that is known, for certain, about it is that it exists.

Secrets transmitted from the Last Dives of generations of White Whistle Delvers are passed down via word of mouth to none but themselves. Rumors of a mysterious ring, "Ring of the Essence", which only a few White Whistles are said to have seen and claims that mysterious beings, referred to as "Gatekeepers", exist along the path to the bottom of The Abyss.

7th Layer

I was in the fight that time
wasn't seeing all that might
looming in the east day sky
empyrean tells white lies?
for the aftermath I sigh
for the afterthought I cry
for the day I live
for the night I die

looming in the east day sky

that one time I thought I could finally leave

birds quietly say

waiting for
waiting for
waiting for
the bus
that will
take us

to the land of
to the time of
to the land of
sus!

where will you take us
where will you take us
where will you take us
in the bus

you seem kinda sus
you are obstructing the laws
of your own loss

you are obstructing the laws
of your own loss
why would you do that to us
in your own bus

where will you take us
where will you take us
where will you take us
in the bus?

====

where will you take us today
where will you take us to stay
where will you take us this night
where will you take us tonight

where will you take us in this bus
where will you take us all these times
who were you always talking to
where you driving all us into
where will you go this time

where will you show
what will you show us
this time

why are you doing that
why are you driving this
mud, mud, aaaaaaah

why are you doing that to us
in your own bus
why are you doing that to us
in your own class

about the bus

palindromes

to your right out of sight
will this might be all mine
or I slide by the lines 
on all fours over those
fresh paint mines
when I sigh don't you sign
I'm alive, body's mine
you don't mind, so do I
faint green on the trees
soon be, I will see
through the noise of the low tech telephone
radio, we should go, my time, daylight
faint scent of the dead, sunlight, of the day
young sun, young life, my life still there
do beware, days fall, 
don't be scared, you belong

I will be there
I will be there

don't fall for the tricks
old dogs bite the ticks
get the bricks, shatter teeth
get good, throw the sheath
get lost in the walls
don't take any calls
they all, they all
they fall, they fall

lost my marbles in the halls
by the pearly white walls
set on fire all the laws
all the pretty pearly walls

off-white bending line

dated 08.2022

never held your hand like I was just around it ends all the time what's yours what's mine
I wish I was around like the sun after a dawn
(sights on the rise, I keep sights on the rise)

I am just a child released into the wild
grown among the pines and swaying lunar tides
(my) tissues decompose in your tissues I repose
I live on in your bones, I sleep in your bones

we live in your blood, we live on your blood
I sleep in blood, I sleep in your blood

lunar tides

стара пісня яка загубилась раніше старая песня которая затерялась ранее an old song that got lost earlier ein altes Lied das einst verloren ging

i was outside
they were upset
they were the head grown
I see them from my town
up in the night
all the firearms
all the lights out
all the stars out up high
out of my own cage, out
out of my own cage, out
out of my own cage

out of the devil down to the river
i was a morrow down to the keep in
i was enticed to the sadness of walking
/ /// / ///// //// // /// //// /

12th of June, 2020

out of the devil, down to the river

fierce far // mild down // tape spectre

ceili

dawn

a second version of a song made somewhere around 2015, following an insanely deep and unexpected ego loss, where I stepped into the void of swirling colours and long forgotten sublime emotions, all overwhelming and merciless
for the longest time after, colours seemed burned out, naked trees during that winter seemed like skeletons of alien creatures unseemingly residing on earth, waiting for spring to release their red claws and breathe in while in a green disguise of peaceful solar antennas; ground was slightly flickering, long shadows crawling from behind the field of vision
recorded in Leipzig, nearing the end of my 2 month stay, where I felt like I'm somewhat back home and opening up, all the while aimlessly exploring town's quiet streets and old brick railroad bridges hiding, from orange night lights, in acacia's pointy shades
the fragrant night smelled fresh, warmly embracing me with the implicit senses from my early life, when it was too abstract for anything narrative;
among acacia's branches there it was, deep, deep sky, flooded with intricate specs of faraway stars, glimmering from the blue depths, although sometimes indifferently or ominously, now joyfully, evoking love, calling me

intro (added when this was recorded in Leipzig):
blue navy sky
merge with the night;
mixture of gold, 
softly involved
in a street light's ground
on an old tree crown

original text:
my bones are broken
my eyes are blind
times goes slightly
time goes down

time is winding in coils
hiding in alleys
pretending an ivy
acts like a rainbow
flickers on the walls
lights and colours
patterns and prisms
refracted delight
turns into loop
turn off the light
shows me the root
show me the lie
again and again
starts feeling the gain

abandoned myself to splitting
exploding in dwelling
good story telling

so let this all pass
be aside by meanings
don't let the light burn you
don't let the light go through your eyes and...

(27.01.2022 UPD: I just heard the line "refracted the light" and it makes sense too, nice)

navy blue

where are you
let's go shoot

in the head
in the head

buy me some guns
they show us a dance

i am so foolish
i got gold bullets

my bones melt down
into yellow and brown

lessnightlights

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