The X and the Kids
Things have been pretty quiet lately. Its been cold. With the wind chill, its been -15 to -30 most days and nights for the last week. We ran out of oil on Saturday night, but our delivery was scheduled for Tuesday. We went to walmart and got heaters for the kids rooms. We watched football on Sunday in the living room, everyone together. Husband brought our giant tv down stairs for the kids to play xbox and watch tv on. It was a really nice day. Oil was delivered Tuesday, we all made due and survived.
Besides that A has mid-terms this week, and has done well on them so far…I suspect its because he’s actually been STUDYING! Imagine that!
Yesterday after his morning midterms he asked me to pick him up and take him home early. Yeah, why not? When he got in the car he told me he’d gotten a 92 on his French midterm. This kid hates french. Hates the teacher. Does NONE of the work. But, he did study for 3 hours over the weekend. I guess it paid off! I was SO proud of him! His team also won their PE volleyball championship. In PE he is a bit of an over achiever.
On the way home he asked me if I would pick him up after his first class the next day, as he only had one midterm, and it was first thing in the morning. I said “No way. This is your one free pass for the week.”
He said “I’ll see if Dad wants to come get me.”
I said “And then do what with you?”
“Take me to his house”
“Oh right, then he could bring you back on Sunday. That’s a good idea.”
“Right, or ride a bus back.”
“Well, maybe I could need to do something in Waterville on Sunday, I could maybe pick you up.”
“He was pretty adamant that I needed to ride the bus.”
So, here is the conversation that unfolded last night:
A
What are you doing tomorrow
Dad
same ol same ol why?
A
Just wonderin
Dad
whats up?
A
Any way you would be able to pick me up tomorrow after first block?
Dad
what for?
A
I only have one midterm and its 1st block
Dad
haha
A
And to come back with you until Sunday
Dad
thought you had to stay the whole day?
A
Threres no open campus and there’s classes but they’re not aloud to assign homework this whole week
Dad
hmm, bus?
down here that is
A
I have no way to get to one
Dad
and how come I never heard from Dom ?
buy a ticket – heck if you get one way I will drive back
Hello?
A
I thought you were going to call D, and what if I took the bus back and you just did the ride up there
Dad
I need to study tomorrow… falling behind as it is
A
Alright
Dad
I have 2-3 lectures to get through tomorrow
bout 3 hours each
A
Ok
Dad
just buy a ticket
I will pick you up in town
and bring you back
A
I don’t have a way to the bus station
Dad
wtf just walk the half mile
geez
when I was your age…
A
Um from The high school all the way to downtown bangor is more then a half mile
Dad
no it isnt bud
A
And its -20 tomorrow
Dad
just buy a ticket
call mary and have her take you then
and if it is too cold take the city bus from hannafords to the bus
bout a buck fitty
A
What are you doin next weekend
Dad
same shit different day, although I will prob need to prep for court too
just get a ticket and take the bus
give me a min
A
I don’t have money either. It’s fine, ill plan for a ride next Friday and it will be a round trip there and back
Dad
just get some from your mother
A
She isn’t getting me shit, she’s going to say if I want a way down there you have to pay
I’ll work something out for next weekend
Dad
call mary
A
Can we just try for next weekend?
Dad
maybe, need to get out of the house?
A
Just havnt seen you in a while
Dad
true story, been swamped bud. 10+ hr days kinda suck!
actually closer to 14
just ask your mother for bus fare
A
She’s not going to give me any
We just had to get oil
She’s going to say she doesn’t have Amy
Dad
doesnt hurt to ask
A
Any
I’ll ask in the am
Dad
seriously, man up
wuss
A
Asking people for money isn’t manning up but alright.
Dad
it is when you are asking a parent
but true story when you turn 18 – I will remember you said that lol
??
A
What?
Dad
you gonna ask?
A
Ya
Dad
well do it before I get off here will ya
A
Ya brb
She said no
That she has to get groceries
Dad
whatever… I say nothing right now
A
Ok
Dad
there is one leaving from concord – 22.50 @ 3:30 and is only an hour long.
just in case
A
Well if I get money ill letchu know
Now, this was the first part of the conversation – A never asked me for money. I likely would have worked on making an arrangement for him to go down and see his dad, if that’s what he wanted to do. However, I think A is smart enough to understand that this is his Dad’s responsibility, not mine. Also, I actually just now mapquested walking directions from the HS to the Bus Station. Its 1 hour 36 minutes to walk 4.01 miles. It also is, as I mentioned previously, well below 0 outside.
The second part of the conversation was about D. Here is some back story. At Christmas time, “Manny” their grandmother, x’s mom, came over and brought them each a poster and a package of fake tattoos. My kids thanked her at the time, though I wasn’t there when she stopped by, they both said they did say thank you. When they showed me what they got, I said “Oh that was really nice of her!” remembering she hasn’t seen or even SPOKEN to either kid since LAST Christmas. Both kids said “Well, I guess its the thought that counts.” A has ZERO interest in the Hobbit…and fake tattoos? He’s 15, not 6. However, D really likes the whole LOTR, and was happy with the poster, but was pretty confused with the tattoos. A ended up actually giving D his poster and tattoos. I’m sure they both realized that their own grandmother really has NO idea who they are as people. Sigh.
A few weeks ago D called me at work after school and said he was very lucky, that he had found a 50 dollar bill in the snowbank on our road. I took it from him when we got home and put it away. I never mentioned this to A. Over a week later A asked me if I’d found any money in the washing machine lately. I asked him how much he was missing. He said that the last time he’d seen his dad, he gave him two 50 dollar bills. One for each kid. But, A couldn’t find them. He thought that he’d put them in his pants, but now they were gone. I had D come into the kitchen, and I told him this, I asked him if 50 was all he’d found, explained that it was actually a gift from Dad, etc….D seemed confused, and A said that D could just keep that 50 and A would just be ok that he’d lost his 50. It was no big deal. A said, “If dad asks, make sure you tell him I gave you your money.” D agreed.
Weird. But, there was no argument, so I decided to leave it alone. 3 times since then, I’ve asked D to please at least send his Dad a “thank you” email for the money. He says “yeah….” but never does it.
Here is the second part of the conversation from last night:
Dad
Tell D I expect a call from him tonight
I know he is still up
A
Um ok
He said “I’m busy”
But he’s on the computer
Dad
You tell him I really want a call from him tonight, like within the next 10 min
It is not ok for him to not even acknowledge that I gave him 50 for xmas
A
He keeps saying no
dad
or thank his manny for whatever she gave
A
and that hes busy
Dad
I will call – you answer and pass the phone to him please and thank you
ughh
A
If you call right now hell answer
Dad
just waiting for my phone to start up
A
Ok well he’s sitting right next to the phone
Dad
so is that a no now?
no answer
not cool
A
You didn’t call
Dad
rang 8 times
A
843-XXXX
Dad
yup
and again
A
No i never heard it ring
Dad
is right now
nothing, someone picked up and hung up
A
The ringtone was off
So i had to turn it on
Try again
Dad
he can call back
I just called twice
A
The phone didn’t even ring
Dad
hit redial
A
He keeps saying no to calling while he sits there on his laptop
Dad
whatever
cant make him want to
just disappointed, but whatever
it is what it is
alright bud, let me know how it turns out and I will talk to you later – sorry I am so busy, but I do keep fb on so message or call whenever and I will get right back to you ok
A
Alright
Dad
and don’t be a punk and skip out on the rest of your study halls – take it like a man… paper airplanes!
Looking Forward 