Looking Forward

Making a better life for me and my kids

Archive for the tag “stupid”

2 Conversations

He wanted A. I said ok, just tell me where and when. For someone who cannot stand to converse with me, he sure seems to like to hear from me. 

From: Unable to make a plan
To: Stacey 
Sent: Friday, March 22, 2013 10:16 AM
Subject: RE: Mainecare

A wants to visit for the weekend.

______________

From: Stacey 
To: Unable to make a plan
Sent: Friday, March 22, 2013 10:36 AM
Subject: Re: Mainecare

Ok, I just need to know when and where you plan on picking him up and dropping him off.

Will you be allowing A to practice his driving?

_____________

 

From: Stacey 
Sent: Friday, March 22, 2013 12:09 PM
To: Unable to make a plan
Subject: Fw: Mainecare

I’m sending this to you again, because I need to hear back from you about when and where you plan on picking up and dropping A off this weekend.

Thanks,
Stacey

____________________

 

From: Unable to make a plan
To: Stacey
Sent: Friday, March 22, 2013 2:15 PM
Subject: RE: Mainecare

No idea at this point, probably (brothers house) this afternoon.

_________________

 

From: Stacey
Sent: Friday, March 22, 2013 1:37 PM
To: Unable to make a plan
Subject: Re: Mainecare

I need to know when and where you plan on picking A up and dropping him off.

Thanks,
Stacey

___________________

 

From: Unable to make a plan
To: Stacey
Sent: Friday, March 22, 2013 3:00 PM
Subject: RE: Mainecare

I can just throw out a fake time and place if you want.  I told you I don’t know and did not have time to plan for it given the short amount of time given.  It will most likely be (brother house) after 5 tonight and Sunday afternoon at gas station.  We will need to discuss my seeing the boys 50% of the time when I return to Brewer at some point.

_____________________

 

From: Stacey 
To: Unable to make a plan
Sent: Friday, March 22, 2013 3:24 PM
Subject: Re: Mainecare
 
Thank you. If the plans of 5:30pm tonight to Noon drop off at the Brewer Irving on Sunday change, please let me know via email.
 
Thanks,
Stacey
 
______________
From: Stacey 
To: Unable to make a plan
Sent: Sunday, March 24, 2013 4:46 PM
Subject: A

Please let me know when you’ll be bringing A home this evening.
 
thanks,
stacey
______________________
 
From: Stacey 
To: Unable to make a plna
Sent: Sunday, March 24, 2013 8:52 PM
Subject: A
 
I just received a message from A saying he’d be home “eventually”. It is almost 9pm and he has school tomorrow, as I am sure you are aware.
He needs to be home no later than 10pm tonight.
 
Stacey
__________________
 
A got home around 9:30 last night. I never heard from his father. We will be retaining a lawyer on Thursday. I am tired. I don’t know why this has to be so difficult. It doesn’t have to be, and I guess that’s what makes me so angry. Meanwhile, on Friday, while he was trying to not answer me, he was also pulling the same shit with A.
 

A

Would you be able to pick me up from school

 

2:03pm

Dad

still waiting on my jeep bud

 

2:03pm

A

What about (your brothers) car

 

2:04pm

Dad

call mary, I think it would be fine though

this sucks!!!

 

2:05pm

A

Suck it up! I’ll drive I have my permit

 

2:05pm

Dad

fuck that

lol

 

2:05pm

A

Well then don’t be a little girl and come pick me up

 

2:06pm

Dad

how many hours you got so far?

 

2:06pm

A

Idk a couple

 

2:06pm

Dad

hahaha

we will see

 

2:06pm

A

Like 16ish

But rly come get me from the school

And you can talk to Edwards

 

2:09pm

Dad

I really dont have my jeep back from the garage yet, they are gonna call when its ready

 

2:09pm

A

Take (your brothers) car

 

2:09pm

Dad

I am in Winslow dumbass

 

2:10pm

A

Wtf

 

2:10pm

Dad

where did you think I was?

 

2:10pm

A

(brothers house)

 

2:13pm

Dad

oh, nope.

 

2:16pm

A

Okay well what time would you be in brewer

 

2:16pm

Dad

later on this evening

 

2:17pm

A

Time frame

 

2:23pm

Dad

sometime in the next 24 hours

 

2:24pm

A

Okay genius

 

2:24pm

Dad

 

3:13pm

A

(brothers house) at 5?

 

3:14pm

Dad

wtf – she misses lots. I said sometime after 5ish and maybe (brothers house)

 

3:15pm

A

okay well, 530 at (brothers house) sound good

 

3:20pm

Dad

hopefully

 

3:20pm

A

ok]

 

4:28pm

Dad

going to pick up jeep right now, should be there by 6ish

 

4:28pm

A

Ok

 

Update from the weekend

I’m glad the weekend is over. Seriously. 

D had diving, it went well. 

We looked at a new place to rent. It was AMAZING! Space upon space….in our price range. Heat is included. Only one problem. No dogs. My parents are SO happy to take Summer for us. They are home all day. They have a dog already. It would be a transition for her, but she really loves my mom, and she’d be petted and loved. All. Day. Long. 

A was with his dad (I’ll get to that later) so he didn’t see the place with us. He was not happy to hear that we wouldn’t be able to take Summer. You can’t please everyone I guess. We submitted an application. If we get this place, ooooh the X drama that will come – everyone will need to hang on tight! 

Melanie really came through with a shiny new resume for me that makes me sound totally qualified and important and professional for pretty much any job ever. I submitted it yesterday to the open job at my husbands company. We’ll see what comes of it. 

I didn’t find A’s birth certificate anywhere at home. I went to city hall and got a copy on Monday. I really need a fire lock box to keep this shit in. 

Also on Monday we had to go to the parent portion of the Drivers Ed class for A. Talk about terrifying!

Our federal tax refund was APPROVED and magically showed up in my bank account today. I cannot believe this. I am so relieved. We now have just enough to pay for drivers ed and our State taxes. 

So, as I said, A went with his dad this last weekend. X emailed me on Thursday last week
“Picking up A Friday back on Sunday”

Now, normally, I’ll try to be lenient with the not requiring 7 days notice as long as I know when and where things will be happening. A wants to go – I’m trying to be reasonable. So, I responded saying I need to know when and where this pick up and drop off would be happening. I received no response. 

Friday came, and I texted A asking where he was after school, and to see if he needed a ride home. He said dad had picked him up at school. (I figured this was what was going to happen…but I sort of wanted to hear it from X. Crazy, I know.)

I emailed X again Friday night asking when and where he would be dropping A off on Sunday. Again, no response. 

Saturday night I emailed again, wanting to know when and where he would be dropping A off on Sunday. Nothing. 

Sunday I texted A. I didn’t want to because he’s not the one to make arrangements, but I was trying to plan my day, and clearly X wasn’t going to be giving me any information. Am I driving to a bus station? Am I driving to the end of the road? Am I driving to Waterville? 

A said he didn’t know when or how he was getting home. Could I come get him? Maybe he could ride the bus. Also, can I take him to the Dr.? His throat really hurts and his nose won’t stop running.

Seriously? Deep breath…

Yes. I can take you to the Dr. Yes, I can come get you, but I’d prefer you take the bus (its 1.5 hours down to Waterville) There is a bus leaving Augusta at 1:10. I’ll leave it up to you. 

A says “Dad says he’ll bring me back to Brewer later.”

Of course I want to know later when? And wouldn’t you know it…A doesn’t know. Of course he doesn’t. ITS NOT HIS JOB TO KNOW!! 

Another deep breath….

Do you want me to just come get you? 

A’s response “Nah. dad will bring me back. We’re watching a movie, so after that.” 

I point out that the walk in clinic closes at 7pm so A needs to be in Bangor by 6pm at the latest. At 4:15 A texts me and says they’re leaving Waterville, and where should we meet? 

Duh. The walk in clinic? 

How about the Burger King across the street? 

Fine.

I get a text at 5pm saying they are passing Newport. (About 20 minutes from Bangor). I leave the house and head to Bangor myself. 

I am 1/4 mile from the Burger King when A texts me again “Dad says its going to be the high school and you’d better not be there when we get there.” 

WHAT?! Deep breath…I pulled into a gas station and as I’m trying to formulate a response A calls me.

When can you be here to get me? 

Well, I’m on Union St…So give me about 15 minutes to get all the way over there. Are you wearing a coat or a sweatshirt? (its 4 degrees out)

No.

Can you go into the school?

No.

Do you want to walk to the grocery store and wait inside?

No. I’m ok. Just hurry up. 

So I rush over to the high school and collect my shivering, sick kid. I am so angry. SO. FUCKING. ANGRY. I decide we’ll do the Dr. in the morning. We’ll go to the grocery store and get some medicine. The dr on Monday said its just a cold and not strep. Phew! 

So, we have court tomorrow for a case management hearing. I see from FB that X will be there. (He’s trying to plan for an evening of drinking afterwards with anyone he can get together). 

I’m nervous. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to be anywhere near him. I don’t want to hear him speak. I just want this to be over with. I know case management hearings are normally to discuss the issues, to make sure that no resolution has been reached, and mediation will be scheduled. 

I suspect that X will try to talk about how this is wrong. How I’m using the court to screw him. How he’s always getting the short end of the stick. How I’m keeping him from his kids. I’m overwhelmed by his crazy and its not even happened yet. I feel totally unprepared…because I have NO idea how to even prepare for something like this. 

 

 

 

 

 

Tax Time!

 
In 2011, I filed my taxes for 2010, as we all did. X declared he would be claiming both the kids. I did not claim them, for fear of getting in trouble with the IRS. I ended up paying in close to 2k in taxes. Single parent. One income. No support. I begged him for financial help to pay the electric and the cable he’d strapped me with. NO. No help. He can’t afford it. Though, I knew he’d gotten his tax money back – close to 7k. Whatever. My parents helped me pay my debt. They are amazing. 
 
Later that year he came back to Maine, took A for 6 weeks, and refused to return him.
I went to talk to a lawyer while he still had A to ask how to best remedy this vague divorce decree. He gave his advice, then asked, “Do you want to play hardball?” 
My husband, who was with me said “YES!” 
The lawyer went on to ask me about why I didn’t claim the kids on my taxes. I told him that X said he was going to, and that I didn’t want to get in trouble. He reread the divorce. He said, “there is no agreement here. Is there another agreement about this anywhere?” No. “Did you sign anything else?” No. “You’re positive?” Yes.
He gave me the business card for his accountant, told me to mention his name when I made my appointment, and said that the accountant would help to take care of it. 
 
I made the appointment, I mentioned the lawyers name and I got, not some intern or ‘associate’, I got the guy whose name was on the building. 
He looked over my stuff, took some notes and told me he’d take care of it. A week later his office called, charged me 85 dollars and handed me an envelope of all my stuff. He said the IRS does NOT like it when people do what the X did. Its a big no-no. He also said the IRS would take care of getting back the money they’d given him.
It might take a long while, there might be more correspondence. But, in the end, I was entitled to a refund. In November I got a refund check for a little over 5k.
 
Last year, I filed taxes for 2011. I claimed the kids. I got a refund. No issues. 
 
This year, we’re anxiously awaiting our w-2s so we can file our taxes. I count on that refund. As most people in my position do. Then 2 weeks ago, I get this: 
 
From: X
To: Me
Sent: Friday, January 4, 2013 9:54 PM
Subject: Taxes

Per our agreement to alternate years, I am claiming the boys on my tax return this year.

 

I didn’t know how to respond. I had to pay a lawyer and an accountant to explain the IRS rules to me about this kind of thing. I’m not going to give him all the information that I have for free.
Even if I did tell him, “No, you can’t.” Or “Its illegal”. Or “There is no agreement” It would only instigate an argument and lead to more bullshit, and there is no way to know if he’d still try to claim them anyway. So, I didn’t respond at all. Legally, the kids are mine to claim. Nothing he does or says is going to change that. 

What I’ve read about this is that if two people try to claim the same kids, we will both be audited and made to prove with whom the kids lived the majority of the time. This can take a long time to sort out. But, in the end, they live with me, 365 days a year. They are mine to claim. If I have to wait for my refund, so be it. I’d rather have it that way than have to deal with him for any reason. 

 

 

Post Navigation

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started