Looking Forward

Ranting…

Ah, the lovely process of having an insane ex husband being served court papers…

I mailed the papers to South Dakota, about 2 weeks ago he told my son he’d been served, but then told me that he had not. The sheriff’s dept cashed the check I sent. I assumed (bad idea) that he’d, in fact, been served. I emailed them to ask when I might be receiving my paperwork back, so I could file with the court. Here is the response I got:

“I pulled that file to check. There are a lot of notes on it. He has moved but the deputies were able to locate a new address. It’s not in Vermillion but they know where he is. I see that they have been able to reach him by phone and messages have been left both ways but they have not caught up with him at home. It doesn’t sound like he’s been deliberately difficult to locate, it just hasn’t worked out to find him in person yet. They are still working on this one and hopefully it will be served soon.”

They think he’s not avoiding service? I promise you he is. He’s likely not even staying at his ‘home’ anymore, hes probably staying with friends and couch surfing. He, like in Hawaii, got wind that we were looking to serve him, and has gone into hiding. Anything to avoid paying me child support.

In other news, he spoke with A over facebook last night. Told him he was buying new furniture for when he “gets back”. I somehow doubt that includes beds and dressers for the kids.

I am frustrated. And angry. I don’t want him to come back here. I also don’t want him to have new furniture. I don’t care how petty that sounds, but it would be nice if his kids had a little bit of (or any!) priority in his finances (or any part of his life at all!). I want him to be served already. I want to file papers with the court and get this process underway. But no. We have to wait on him and his stupid fat ass before the world can start spinning again I guess. As it goes with all Narcissists I guess – everything is about them, everyone gets to wait on them, when they are ready, then we’d better be ready – they won’t wait for anyone. This reminds me of all the times he’d say “hurry up!” so I would, the kids would, only to then have to wait another 30, 60, 120 minutes for him to finish whatever he was doing.

And dreams of this being ‘easy’ and perhaps negotiating for what I want in lieu of support? That ship has sailed. F- him.

Maybe I’m just angry and typing things that, after a night of sleep, will look different tomorrow. But right now, I am just so angry. Moved and didn’t tell his kids? New phone number and didn’t tell his kids? Only talks to one kid, and only 6-10 sentences every few days, and generally, only about what a bitch I am? What does he really think is going to happen here? Does he seriously think that he’s going to get A to stand in front of the judge and say anything convincing enough to keep me from continuing to be the one consistent parent in his life?

Not having any way out of this f-ing mess is making me crazy. I hate that he exists, that he can talk to my kids, that I have to pay him rent every f-ing month. I feel like a cat trying to be stuffed into a box – claws out, flailing wildly, desperate to grab onto something to propel myself free of this situation. But, I’ve got nothing. Sitting and waiting. That’s all I get to do. Fucking wait. For his stupid fat ass.