Phone call
Oh what an interesting turn of events.
As I previously blogged about, X took A for the length of vacation. A missed time with his grandparents. None of this was planned. I didn’t get any notice…as usual. I haven’t talked to X on the phone since July of last year..until tonight.
Well, today A texted me.
A: Hi, I want to stay the night at the new place in holden, Dad will take me to school tomorrow. I’d have to come pick up my book tonight so we can discuss it l8r.
Me: “Without being able to discuss this with your dad, no, sorry.
A: Yeah he’ll shoot you an email.
Me: We’ll need to talk about it.
A: Well you need to unblock his number from your phone lol.
Me: His number isn’t blocked on my phone, but he’ll need to email me.
A: He can’t email the laptops in waterville and it is blocked he just tried to text you.
Me: The are no blocks on my phone
A: Well he has no way of using email and the messages aren’t going through how else do you suppose he could reach you.
Me: He call call me from your phone, he can email me from his phone, or he can call the home phone.
A: You can call the school tomorrow and know that I got there on time and I have to stop by and school book so I can stop by say Hi hugs n sh*t
Me: I need to talk to your dad about this, not you, sorry.
A: About what, he can’t email you right now and you’d know whether or not I want to school. There’s honestly nothing to talk about it just seems as though you’re purposefully making things difficult. And i’d take the bus home to your house.
A: He said he’ll call and leave a message so don’t answer your phone.
Me: Or he can text me…
A: His messages to you aren’t sending, he can text you from my phone but I don’t think you want that.
Then A called me and said “Hi, yeah, here he is….”
X says “Yeah A wants to spend the night again tonight I’ll take him to school tomorrow.”
I said “That doesn’t work for me. You’ve not been able to give me notice about bringing A home or taking him, or anything, so if you’d like to keep him again tonight, we need to work out an alternate arrangement for a more consistent schedule.
X said he had no idea what I was talking about, what schedule? Consistent? What do I mean? He was angry and hollering this at me. He did a lot of talking over me. Saying that he shouldn’t talk to me, he should be talking to my lawyer, etc. He did a lot of hollering.
I was trying to get him to agree to a Sunday to Wednesday schedule – with consistent pick up and drop off times and locations. I said “Is that something you’d like? To have A from Sunday to Wednesday?” He hollered “THATS A NO BRAINER! OF COURSE! AND I INTEND TO HAVE HIM MORE!” I said, “For now, in the interim, would you like to pick him up at the store on Sunday mornings?” More screaming at me. More talking over me. I didn’t really know what he was trying to say. I heard something about he wasn’t going to to keep to a schedule like this, he only wanted to do what A wanted to do.
“So, you’re going to let A make all the decisions then?” I asked.
He said “A is 16! He can decide who he wants to stay with!”
I said that “A is 15, and until you manage to file the paperwork with the court to change what is already in effect, A lives with me, and that isn’t something he gets to make a choice about. So, do you want him from Sunday to Wednesday?”
He was super pissy, saying that my lawyer should have told me this, he doesn’t know why he’s even saying anything to me about it, but our interim order was only for when he was in school, so now it goes back to what it was before! The order is meaningless! Then more hollering, accusing me of twisting things, and being sneaky.
I said “I just want to come to an agreement for the time being that is consistent. Your refusal to give me any kind of notice about drop off times or pick up times is unreasonable and I want an agreement that doesn’t require that.”
He screamed at me “I HATE HE SOUND OF YOUR FUCKING VOICE! I’M CALLING YOU BEING CIVIL, BEING NICE, AND ALL YOU’RE DOING IS GIVING ME A HARD TIME! I HATE THE SOUND OF YOUR FUCKING VOICE!” I said, “That’s not really appropriate, so do you want to pick A up at 9am at the store?”
He was pissed. “Yeah the store, I’ll come get him at the store because you REFUSE to transport!”
I said “Oh I’ll bring him to you, I have no problem with that, I just need to know where to bring him.”
He said “NO! Fine! The store is FINE! Noon…I’ll pick him up at noon on Sunday!”
I said, “ok great, so, then he can get off the bus on Wednesday’s at home?”
His response was “Whatever, fine.”
Then, he asked about D. He wanted D on the same schedule too. I said, “No, that’s not going to work. I’d rather have you email times for D rather than discussing it on the phone with you.”
He said “So, you’re telling me right now that you are refusing to the schedule for D as well?!”
I said, “Yes, there are no overnights for him right now, that’s not going to work.”
He said, “Ok thanks.” And that was the end of the conversation.
About 3 minutes later A came home, was chatty and collecting his books and clothes for tomorrow for school. He seemed very ok. I was relieved.
I’m so tired of X making my kids choose between him and me. There is no point. A doesn’t have a home with his dad and home with me. As far as X is concerned, he can only have one home. And he needs to choose.
Looking Forward 