Looking Forward

Making a better life for me and my kids

Archive for the tag “projection”

04 Aug 2014
8 Comments

Trash

There has been no contact between Asshat and I since the email exchange where he gave me dates for his trip to Europe. So, imagine my surprise when I got this email (from his old email address that he told me not to use anymore) this evening, with the subject line being “Trash”.

Trash

From: Asshat

To: Me

Today at 7:05 PM

You are some kind of piece of trailer park trash to tell A your going to give him only 125 for school clothes.   Maybe you should get your priorities straight and use some of the money you mooch off of me each week and put your child ahead of your own personal interests.   I know this is not the same thing as drugging up your own child cause you two can’t handle kids without a drink,  so please feel free this one time to pretend to be a responsible parent.  PS try letting him shop somewhere other than target or Wal-Mart too as I think he would prefer that. 

 

I’m not sure the projection could be any more evident if he labeled each sentence “this is projection”.

Not that it really matters, but I’ll just point out a few things:

  1. While it’s a rental, I live in a huge and beautiful house, not a trailer. Not in a trailer park. Also, unlike Asshat, we do have cold AND hot running water here.
  2. I budgeted $500.00 for each kid for back to school shopping. I only gave A $125.00 over the weekend so he could do a little shopping on his own while he is in Boston with his friend.
  3. ADHD meds are not “drugging up your kid” when they are serving the intended purpose of treating the ADHD symptoms so that your kid can actually function effectively.
  4. I only ever drank to deal with my abusive asshole husband, never to deal with my kids. Needless to say, I don’t drink anymore. Not even a little.
  5. The only time the kids buy clothes at Walmart is when they need an orange sweatshirt for tomorrow, or a dress shirt and a tie for the concert tonight. Walmart is awful and as a general rule, we avoid it at all costs. I do love Target though.
  6. I have not had any ‘personal interests’ that have come before my children’s interests for the last 17 years. A texted me tonight to say “dad doesn’t have any money to pitch in for school clothes”. So, if I wanted to know what it was like to put my own interests first, I could ask the asshole that just got back from a month in Europe and now has no money to buy any clothes for the kids.
Posted in abuse, adhd, bullying, child support, co-parenting, crazy making, Divorce, kids, medication, narcissism, parenting, school and tagged , , , ,
18 Dec 2013
2 Comments

Its all MY fault we’re in this spot.

I followed my lawyer’s advice and sent X an email. He wanted begging and groveling. However, I’ve already made alternate plans for Christmas, so I took the opportunity to say I didn’t agree with what he was doing, with no expectation that he’d change his mind. Just more fuel for fire, so to speak. 

Asshat, 

Since 2010, it has been understood that holidays with the boys will be alternating. This year Thanksgiving and Christmas eve were my times with the kids. A didn’t come home for Thanksgiving because it was Thursday, he came because it was my year to have the boys with me. 

I would ask that you would stick to the original agreement that we set forth in 2010 and have A returned home for Tuesday morning. 

Honestly, I expected no response at all. Silly, silly me. 

Interesting.  You have chosen not to follow the agreement we made in 2010.  You went to court to modify that agreement and then chose not to follow the new agreement you got in 2011.  We are currently going back to court because you have once again decided things need to be modified.  Now you are asking me to follow it the original?  Our original agreement included time with D as well.  The 2011 modifications also provided that I see both children.  I have on numerous occasions asked that you adhere to the original agreement and the newer modifications.  You have refused to do so.  Does that really seem right to you?  We are in this spot because YOU, not I, continue to break the agreements we put in place.    

You are mistaken as to why A went with you for Thanksgiving.  It is unfortunate that it seems you and he did not discuss this already.

To the question at hand and just so we are clear, I am not making this decision – You and A have.  I would have had no problem with a holiday schedule that allowed split time like you suggest – and I have said as much, but at this point I don’t trust you to stick to it when we go into court.  His schedule is Sunday through Thursday.  We currently have no holiday schedule in place.  He wants to stick with this current schedule and has said so to me and you.  This doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to have holiday time with you, rather he would prefer to stick to the schedule in place and celebrate the holidays when he is scheduled with you.

I have no dog in this fight as long as I get to see my children equally – which I am currently not being allowed to do because of your efforts.   I am not saying no because I am trying to win, or get even, or whatever – I understand that it is important for them to spend time with both of us.  However, I am respecting my sons wishes.  In addition to that I have been told to wait until a judge decides.  I agree that that is probably the best thing to do at this point. 

He was kind enough to CC my lawyer on this too. Dumbass. 

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