We’ve moved!
We have officially moved!
My ex is no longer my landlord. The only capacity I need to deal with him now is as the father of my children.
I can’t tell you all how relieved I am. I’ve slept like a rock for the past 3 nights.
We rented A’s teenage friend to help us with our move on Saturday. Between those two and D and me and Husband, we knocked out all the heavy stuff in just a few hours, and everyone was rewarded with Subway. On Sunday, Husband and I got groceries, ran errands and went back to the house that my children and I had lived in for the last 11 years, cleaned it from top to bottom and took every last thing that was ours. Done. Finally. Keys on the sideboard. 200+ pictures taken. Didn’t even look back. Good riddance.
That house was just a “thing” to X. It was never a home for us. It was just a place for him to keep his wife and kids. A thing he could tell people he had “I bought a house.” It was in constant disrepair. Mold. That I cleaned weekly. Holes in the walls. That I repaired every 6 months. The front door leaked at the bottom. I caulked it, every year or so. No carpet, only subfloor. I ripped it up in the kids rooms in 2006 or so because A suddenly developed asthma (and by ‘suddenly’ I mean I’m sure he’d had it for a very long time because of his under developed lungs when he was born and his father’s refusal to smoke OUTSIDE for his entire childhood, it was only then that his symptoms started to be a big issue) Removing the carpet helped, a lot. But, X never replaced it. Then he left for South Dakota. As the “tenant” I wasn’t allowed to make ‘improvements’. The outside stairs fell apart. He had someone come and patch them together. He emailed me and told me it was my job to powerwash the mold off the side of the house. I didn’t. Its not in the lease. Siding started to fall off. I told him. “It was fine when I left.” he said. The fridge stopped working. It’d get warm, needed to be unplugged and defrosted every 10 days or so. I told him. “It was fine when I left.” he said. The dryer stopped working. I told him. “It worked when I left.” he said. We made due. We bought our own dryer. We lived out of a cooler every 10 days.The mold growing in our bedroom, bathroom and kids bathroom, I cleaned it as often as I could. It was there before he left. He was aware of it. He’ll say he had no idea. I’m sure. And of course, on Sunday he thought he’d get some sympathy from the Facebook world by posting about how difficult it is being a landlord.
D broke a window. We’ll pay for that. I’m not going to pay for anything else. He’ll send me a bill. I’m sure of it. He told A he was going to sue me. Ok. Whatever. Do whatever you want. I don’t pay you rent anymore. You have no more say about where I live or who I live with. You can’t control me anymore. Money is just money. He wants mine because money is everything to him. It makes him feel powerful. It makes him feel like he has control. Over me. That is what he wants. But he can’t have that now. Not unless he takes me to court. Not unless a judge says I have to. And by then, I’m hoping to have a nice stash of child support saved up, he can have that. Asshole.
Not only have we moved, we also have a new driver in the house. A passed his permit test last Friday. After a day of moving and packing stuff, Husband was going to call in a pizza order for us to pick up and I was going to driver’s ed to get A. Husband said “let me know, as soon as you know something!” A came out of drivers ed and motioned for me to get out of the drivers seat. He said the instructor told him he’d gotten the highest grade in the class with a 96. I texted Husband to let him know and A drove to the pizza place.
Once inside I gave them my name and the girl found our receipt and pizza and handed it to the counter person. The man looked at the receipt and then at me and said “Is A with you?”
A said “yeah….?”
The counter guy said, “A, Congratulations on passing your permit test! Awesome job! Anything you want to drink out of the cooler, go ahead and grab it, its on the house!”
A said “Cool, thanks!”, grabbed a Mt Dew and we left.
“How did he know that?” he asked me in the car. I said “Husband wanted to know how you did, and he called in the order, so I guess it was him.” A was smiling.
Magically, it was dark and the snow was starting to come down pretty hard, but A was insistent that he wanted to drive home. So he did. It took us a while to get there, but he did a good job and was safe. I was very proud of him.
The last we’d heard from his dad was “good luck on that test of yours” 3 days before the test. Then on the Sunday after the test this was part of the conversation:
Dad
Any idea where the keys to the house might be?
A
I have no idea
Dad
can you pass along that unless she wants the added bonus of me taking on the cost of lock replacement when I sue she might want to let me know where they are…
thanks bud
hope your all squared away
A
She says sidebord
Dad
so she left the place unlocked huh, hope nothing happens before I can get there…
Are you all moved out?
A
Ya
And a permited driver \m/
Dad
sweet:)
just be careful bud
is there a new number to call for D?
A
Not yet
Dad
k
hey bud have you ever done fantasy baseball?
A
I havnt before but I probably would
Dad
k
that does not help me right now lol
A
Haha
Dad
yeah, this is way more complex than football
A
Lol I know
Seriously? He might as well just have typed the words: “I am a useless individual. I am a terrible parent. I don’t care about you, your life, or your brother. I don’t understand boundaries. I can’t be bothered.”
Mediation on Thursday. I’m sure he’ll try to bring up the lease. The house. The millions of dollars he thinks I owe him. Too bad I didn’t request to discuss all that in my motion to modify. Oh well!
Looking Forward 