Looking Forward

Making a better life for me and my kids

Archive for the tag “paranoia”

Visit Update pt. 2

After D was safely home, showered, teeth brushed, in jammies and tucked into bed, I received this email from X with his version of events. 

1.  D wants to stay the night, and for some reason you don’t want him to?  I am confused.  I was under the assumption that him not staying the night was because he didn’t want to, but once he got here he was talking about staying over night pretty quickly.  Not sure where you got the notion of him not wanting to stay came from, but it is not the case now that he is with me.  He talked to me about staying longer next week as well which I am perfectly fine with.  I will just say this – I am at this point supposed to have them both 50% of the time based on the court’s decision and I want them that amount of time.  There doesn’t appear to be any legitimate reason on your part for denying them and me the right to our time together.  

For the record, I did not and have not entered into any agreement with you regarding D and visitation with me.  YOU allowed him to visit with me this evening which I had no control over.  YOU made it clear that he did not want to stay the night which was why he was not allowed to.  YOU are the one who called him back twice and convinced him to not stay and return home with you.  There is no breaking of any agreement here as you implied on the phone with me, there is simply you exerting undue control and influence over my son and interfering with my relationship and time with him.  

It is important for you to know that he became very sad and quiet when he learned that you did not want him staying the night – he didn’t know I was watching but it was very apparent, like he was worried about upsetting you – that is not right and no child of mine should be made to feel that he is not allowed to be with me.  You calling back and convincing him that he should go home this evening is not right either, it puts him in a very awkward position of having to choose.  Meeting him at school with a change of clothes and his books was not at all unreasonable, as you claimed on the phone with me this evening, given the circumstances; It certainly does not rise to the level of allowing them to just skip school because it was a half day or leaving them home alone for days at a time with no adult supervision while you left the state without them.  Again and back to the point – he should not be made to feel like he can’t stay here with me if you are going to be upset with him which is exactly what happened tonight.  

He wants to be here overnight tomorrow and said you told him that you would provide the transportation.  That is fine with me – again he is welcome to stay with me whenever he wants for as long as he wants.  In the future, given the total control you seem to have over him and his not wanting to make you upset, I would suggest that your communication with him be limited while he is with me as it clearly has had a detrimental effect on his time with me this evening.  

2.  I have looked at his teeth and they seem to be getting worse.  If it is easier for you to have me schedule the appointments and get the ball rolling I have no problem doing so.  If you have separate insurance to cover this I will be more than happy to once again work within your network.  Regardless, this needs to happen soon.  I gave you the green light to get him braces almost three years ago with whomever you found and you have not done so – I don’t care who does the work, but the child needs it done as soon as possible.    

3.  Roommate informed me that you tried to call and then called her, my phone was off and charging.  Your position in the past was a preference for strictly email which I am adhering to.  I will reiterate that the few times recently I have attempted to text or call you regarding the children, my attempts were blocked by your phone – including this evening.  I will also reiterate that my number is still blocked on A’s phone which limits my communication with him as well.  And for the record the online monitoring of communication between me and my son is in my opinion highly inappropriate.  I would remind you that I have a right to online privacy as well, and although I was aware of it in the past when you admitted hacking into my accounts, any further attempts to access and view my online emails, texts and such are highly inappropriate and come with consequences. 

Where does he come up with this?

As you all know, I served the X with modification papers. After nearly a month, he was finally served. I let him know that I would be willing to negotiate prior to a case management hearing. I had the idea that if he gave me what I wanted, I’d take child support off the table. I figured he’d use me waiting for a response as a power play. I didn’t think I’d hear back from him so quickly. Here is the email exchange:

From: ME
To: X
Subject: Re: resolution

Visitation for D to be changed to “reasonable times” to allow him more freedom in making decisions about visitation / overnights. This would not apply to the alternating holiday schedule already in place.

A change in visitation schedule to Sunday at 9am to Wednesday at 3pm. Pick up and drop off remains at the Tradewinds Store. When they are with you, it is your responsibility to be sure they get to school and any extra-curricular activities they are participating in at that time.

When I receive 7 day notice that you intend to use the Sunday-Wednesday schedule, I will be sure to forward you any activity schedules they have.

All communication regarding scheduling time with the kids outside of normal Sunday-Wednesday schedule is to be done with me via email or text message. Not with the kids.

All communication regarding any scheduling or transportation issues for the Sunday-Wednesday schedule is to be done with me via email or text message. Not with the kids.

I am requesting all medical rights and responsibilities be allocated to me for both kids.

In the event that you are staying somewhere besides your mother’s house in Clifton, pickup and drop off location can be altered to accommodate a halfway point for both of us, but that is something that you would need to communicate with me about at least 7 days in advance.

Child support will remain at $0.00

His response:

From: X
To: ME
Subject: RE: resolution
 

This sounds like you want me to terminate all of my parental rights including those agreed upon in the divorce agreement, does this also mean you wish for me to complete the process by terminating my parental responsibilities?
_________________________________
I’m guessing someone told him that the only way to NOT have to pay child support is to terminate your parental rights? Or he’s baiting me into saying YES! LEAVE US ALL THE HELL ALONE! so he can show A what he’s been saying all along, that I don’t want the kids to have him as their father. Regardless of what I want, he IS their father, and I can’t do anything to change that.

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