Silent Treatment
I’m not entirely sure where to begin.
We made the mistake of thinking having a lawyer would some how help us mitigate the crazy that X likes to spew. Instead it just costs us more money when he sends all his crazy emails to her and she has to weigh in only to have him twist and ignore what she says.
We realized that we were feeling so off balance all of last week was because we were responding to his emails. We typically do not respond to anything if we don’t absolutely have to. Again, we made the mistake of thinking that having a lawyer would some how keep us safe from his anger and bullshit. It did not.
Back to our old ways of not responding. Not repeating ourselves. Not thinking our lawyer has super powers and can somehow deal with him better than we can. Things have been much quieter since.
As far as the kids go….
D still doesn’t want to go with his dad. I’ve asked a few times, and D says no.
I had picked up A from his friends house Sunday morning we spent the day with my mom and her siblings. We (A, husband and I) went out to lunch them, then to the cemetery to put flowers on my grandparents graves. A didn’t have to come along, but he wanted to. We got home and we all played a board game. We ate dinner. We played foosball. A got to drive my car, and my mom’s car. A hung out in his room, listened to music and sang along. Just like a normal weekend day.
A had stayed with X until Thursday, then spent Friday and Saturday at his friends house. He said that he’d be home Sunday and Monday with me. I said that was fine by me. When he contacted his dad about it, he was subtle in his disagreement.
A
Hey can you pick me up at one tomorrow instead of today
Dad
huh?
whats up?
A
I stayed at reids all weekend so I’ll stay the night here tonight, and go with you tomorrow
Dad
alright, I was thinking that we could hit the movies today though…
You will prob need to take the bus home tomorrow if your thinking one is the pickup time
A
No school tomorrow
Dad
I wont have time to get groceries with you tomorrow either so you will need to give me an idea of what you want
??
thought mem day was next weekend
hmm
A
No its this weekend
Dad
gotcha… looks like it is bbq day for me then haha
A
But mayebe mom will let me go after supper
Dad
its your call not hers bud, if you want here today I will come get ya, period.
A
I’ll message you after supper I’m about to be out to eat with Grammy and then to the graveyard then well come home and we can talk then
Dad
alright, I am not sure when I will be back near the computer though so leave me a message and I will try to get back to you as soon as I can…
A
Ok well you should have your phone on you
Dad
yeah, but can you call me on it??
A
No but you can check fb messages
Dad
lol, have you seen my phone lately!!
bery optimistic of you
very
A
Haha ok Ttyl
Dad
k
love ya
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Then around 3:30 it seems A decided it would just be easier to go back to dad’s rather than risk whatever kind of “punishment” dad had in mind for him. I told him whatever he wanted to do was ok with me.
A
Hey you can pick me up after supper probably around 630ish
_____________________________
But, by then, it was too late. A called dad’s phone 4 times from 6pm – 7pm and dad didn’t answer. He didn’t respond to the FB message sent at 3:30 either. Nothing. Silent treatment.
I got a notification on my phone of a a facebook update. A had posted a picture of himself in his room, standing in front of his mirror with a half smile. The caption said ‘#happy’. It occurred to me how quiet A’s facebook is when he is with dad. No pictures. No status updates. But, he’s home for a few hours and he’s “Happy”?
A asked me around 7pm if it would be ok if he drove to dad’s and got dropped off there. I told him that was ok with me. Then he said, “So I’m supposed to be home on Wednesday, right?”
I said, “That’s the plan, yeah”.
He asked, “Instead of getting off the bus at home, can I go to dads, then you can come get me there, so I can bring home all my stuff, rather than taking it all to school?”
I said, “Sure thing, I’ll text you when I’m out of work and we’ll figure out a time.”
All his stuff? I don’t know what that means, but I didn’t ask. The last few times he’s been home, he’s not brought anything with him.
When we got to dad’s place I expected not to see his car there. He’s not answering his phone, he must be out and about. But no. His car was there in the driveway. Asshole.
A got out and started taking his bag out of the back seat. I came around to get in the drivers seat and told him I’d text him on Wednesday about picking him up. I said “I love you, and thanks again for coming with us today.” Rather than his normal grunt of acknowledging that someone is speaking to him, he said, “Yeah. it wasn’t too bad.”
He went inside and I cried most of the drive home. I wish there was a way to save him from this.
Looking Forward 