Looking Forward

Making a better life for me and my kids

Archive for the tag “jerk”

Consent To Treat. Or Not.

Any one who has to co-parent with a bitter and unstable person will know what’s coming when I start this post with the sentence: “I emailed Asshat regarding the orthodontists repeated attempts to get him to sign a consent to treat for D to get braces” That’s right, ladies and gentlemen….He no longer consents.

From Asshat over the last year regarding braces for D. 

March 13, 2013
Additionally, D will need braces and this will need to be verified as happening as soon as possible.  Let me know with whom this is to be done. If you have a preference for a Dental provider to keep your costs down I will be more than happy to discuss that with you.  He needs braces and you are responsible for payment of them.

May 20, 2013
I have looked at his teeth and they seem to be getting worse.  If it is easier for you to have me schedule the appointments and get the ball rolling I have no problem doing so.  If you have separate insurance to cover this I will be more than happy to once again work within your network.  Regardless, this needs to happen soon.  I gave you the green light to get him braces almost three years ago with whomever you found and you have not done so – I don’t care who does the work, but the child needs it done as soon as possible.   

October 4, 2013
I have also not heard back from you regarding a scheduled appointment for D to get his braces.  It has been a month.  Should I need to go through the Court to make this happen I will do so.  D should not have to wait any longer to recieve proper dental care, care that is long overdue.

Twice now the orthodontist has called me to let me know that they don’t have a signed ‘consent to treat’ for D for his appointment to get braces put on, which is scheduled for Aprll 1st. The first phone call with them I explained that now, due to an order from the court making him half responsible for this cost, he would likely not sign the form. She told me that she found that odd as she recalled him making the initial evaluation appt for D. She said he was VERY persistent in making the appointment as soon as possible and if I had cancelled it, he wanted them to call and tell him. I gave her his cell phone number and address. 

The second phone call was the office staff sounding a little desperate about not having this form signed. I explained again that he likely wouldn’t sign it, as he probably thinks that by not doing it, he won’t be financially responsible. She and I laughed. She told me that it wasn’t mandatory that both parents sign, its just what they prefer. I get it. But, I can’t help her. 

So, I emailed Asshat. “The orthodontist says you have still not signed and returned the consent to treat for D’s braces appt on Tuesday. Please stop by their office and do that as soon as possible.”

To which he replied “I do not consent to treat for any elective medical or dental treatment for D at this time.”

We’ll see how much that matters when the state starts collecting medical reimbursements from his paycheck. Asshole. 

Small Claims and Other Shit

Ah, such shit lately. Where to begin…

X served me papers in April for a small claims suit for $4300.00. I’ll take this moment to remind you all that he has paid ZERO dollars in child support over the last three years. 

We got a court date of July 1st, we hired a lawyer and off to court we went. X showed up wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and jeans. He hadn’t shaved in weeks. He looked like shit. 

During mediation he showed pictures declaring we had DESTROYED the place, and demanded repair costs and past rent monies. Our lawyer asked if he had anyone living there now. He said he did. My lawyer asked when that person moved in. “May 1st” X answered. Our lawyer did some quick math and said that his claim against me was now reduced to 1635.00, as he can’t charge me rent that he’s already receiving from someone else. X said “Ok, I guess so.”

Our lawyer also asked him about the past child support he was going to owe me. X said, “I’m not going to owe her anything. In fact, I have my oldest son the majority of the time now, she’s going to have to pay ME support.” This made me laugh a little. 

We had a side meeting and decided that we would offer X $500.00 to avoid a hearing. When our lawyer offered him this, he laughed at my lawyer. He laughed at me. He said, “I don’t think so! That’s not even CLOSE to what you owe me!” And off to a hearing we went. 

In front of the judge he was so disorganized. He was fumbling. He was confused. He had too much paper, and didn’t know what to do with the papers he did have. He talked too much. Before too long he had the judge sighing and frustrated. 

He stated we “trashed the place” and left all kind of things, like bikes, in the yard.
The judged asked him “Could they have been your children’s bikes?”
X answered, “they could have been, I don’t know.”
The judge said, “You don’t know if they were your own children’s bikes or not?”
He said, “No, I don’t.” 

X talked about how “lucky” he was to have a renter ready to move in as soon as I’d moved out. When asked why he didn’t have someone move right in, why wait until May?
He answered “I wanted to put down new flooring.”
My lawyer countered with, “You realize you have no claims against my client for flooring?”
X said, “I know. I was trying to keep the costs down for her.” 
When X was asked about the broken window, he was asked at what point he learned about it. He said he had no idea until he did the walk through after we left. Liar.

He said he had no idea there was mold in the house. There was a persistent mold problem since 2007. Well before he left the house. “I had no idea” he said. 

While I was a witness, X got to cross examine me. “You testified our divorce was contentious. Correct?”
I said, “yes.”
He said, “You filed for divorce May 2010. Is that correct?”
I said, “Yes.”
He said, and then I lived with you for three months after that before I left. Is that correct?”
I said, “Yes.”
He said, so why would I live with you and be nice to you if our divorce was so ‘contentious’ as you stated?”
I said, “Your motives are your own, I have no idea.”
Then the judge stepped in and told him that this was not the time to be rehashing old wounds. He needed to focus on his claim against me and my defense to it, nothing else. 

In regards to a hole we missed while patching the others, X cross examined my husband. We’d already taken responsibility for the hole in question. We were already prepared to pay for it to be fixed. However, that wasn’t enough for X. “Were you aware of the hole in the wall?” he asked Husband.
“From the pictures, yes, it appears that we missed one.”
X kept going, “Would you say it was a big hole?”
Husband said, “I’m not sure the size, I’d need to see the picture again.”
The judge interjected, “The bench already has a copy of this picture, is this really necessary?”
And with that, X sat back down. 

During our time on the stand, husband and I took responsibility for the broken window, for one door, door trim and a hole in the wall. These are things we intended to pay for, but instead of talking to us about it, rather X just sued us. In the end, those are things we had to pay for, totaling $274.00. 

X was not happy about this. At all. He was out the door and in the elevator very quickly.
Then he started feeling sad. He tried to contact A. “I miss you buddy.” But that didn’t get a response. So he called D. That’s right. D. At 7:15pm. Wanting him to come over. D said he didn’t want to, but maybe on Wednesday. They hashed out a plan for Noon until 8pm. I, like a normal person, expected an email from X confirming this. It was like pulling teeth, but I he did email me. One hour before he was to pick D up.

Once D was returned home, he said he’d had a good time. He said they played Black Ops zombies for 8 hours and made it to level 52. He said he’d had pizza for lunch, and the icecream he was eating was dinner.
D also said he’d like to back and do that again. Before I could email X and try to work out a plan, he emailed me.

The details of D’s pick up and drop off were emailed to you yesterday, and for the record you were already aware of the times and where it was to take place based on the discussion you had with D while I was on the phone with him at the time he decided he wanted to visit (7/1) – because he specifically asked you about it and relayed the message back to me as to what you said. Your emails suggests that you were not aware of dates and times and that is highly misleading – if in the future you would simply like a confirmation from me of information you already know I will be more than happy to send one along, but I do not appreciate the attempt to suggest otherwise. I would have been more than happy to attempt to work with you on a time he could visit with me, but each time I have attempted to discuss visitation with you, you have told me he does not want to visit – once again this was clearly not the case. I am really happy he had a great time and asked to do it again.
I was quite disturbed to see that D has a huge scar on his left cheek (with a smaller one above) – as this is the first time I have seen this and was not made aware of him being so injured, I wonder if you wouldn’t mind explaining to me what actually occurred, when it occurred, and who the doctor was that took care of his wounds – given the size of it I cannot imagine that it did not require a number of stitches at the emergency room.

As I previously stated in an email to you, I have already looked into this provider (__________) and had ruled him out. However, I may reconsider if my initial look at this provider was inaccurate. Please obtain the following – Education, type of psychological practice, number of years practicing, specialty areas, years of experience working specifically with children, what type of psychological method employed while working with children, and his availability for new clients. Please get a letter from his office verifying the information requested and send that to me, at which point I will be more than willing to take another look at him. I will be sending along a list of my choices for providers just as soon as I can.

A. Stop trying to justify your inability to NOT run messages through the kids. It’s wrong. Always. Wrong.
B. There were no ER visits or stitches that you’ve not been made aware of. D was playing with the dog. The dog was too rough. This happened in January. Odd you weren’t this shocked about it when you saw him in May.
C. Stop being a dick about the therapist. Seriously. Just cut it out. You know nothing. At all. Stop pretending you’re important and people care what you think. You’re not. And they don’t.

Perhaps if I could come up with a response that isn’t “FUCK YOU”, I’d respond.

King Shit of Turd Mountain

In court last week, I told  King Shit of Turd Mountain that I would send him copies of the kids insurance cards so that he could take them to the counseling he believes they so desperately need.

From: Stacey 
Sent: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 7:34 AM
To: King Shit of Turd Mountian
Subject: Mainecare

I’ve attached a scan of the kid’s mainecare cards.

——————————————

From:  King Shit of Turd Mountain
To: Stacey 
Sent: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 2:44 PM
Subject: RE: Mainecare

I have no access to MaineCare to determine coverage amounts and limits for counseling.  Without access or the needed information I will have little alternative other than to move forward with scheduling sessions for them and have the bills sent to you per our divorce agreement.  I have been told to ask you first which is what I am doing.
Additionally, D will need braces and this will need to be verified as happening as soon as possible.  Let me know with whom this is to be done.
I also need to know the any and all doctors or other medical professionals the children have seen in the last three years so that I may inquire into medical records.
Per the upcoming trial, I will need to know the name of your attorney so that I may contact this person in regards to motions and issues ongoing with the trial.  Time is of the essence.
Thank you for your prompt attention to these matters.

——————————————

From: Stacey
Sent: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 2:16 PM
To: King Shit of Turd Mountain
Subject: Re: Mainecare

The phone number is 1-866-690-5585 to find out about their eligibility or you can go to https://mainecare.maine.gov/Memberdefault.aspx. There is no need for a referral or prior authorization for mental health services. If you choose to use a provider that doesn’t accept Mainecare, you will be liable for those bills.

The children have not changed doctors since they were born. You already have that information. As I mentioned in a previous email to you, D was evaluated by Dr. _________ at the _________ in Bangor. This was based on a referral from __________, who we were referred to from his primary Dr. You also have already been made aware of the counselors that the boys have both seen,_______________. This is the counselor you agreed for the boys to see again when you take them.
D has also seen ___________ for counseling.

D goes to the dentist regularly, you can contact __________Dental if you choose to discuss orthodontics with them.

Thanks,
Stacey

——————————————

From: King Shit of Turd Mountain
To: Stacey 
Sent: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 3:35 PM
Subject: RE: Mainecare

I am not on the approved list with access so I can not find out about anything.  YOU are responsible for all medical bills.  As far as I know I am under no obligation to go with anyone under your MaineCare even though I am attempting to limit your costs by going with your MaineCare provider.  Should there be a lack of availability on his part, I may need to consider alternatives that may be outside of the network of providers who accept MaineCare.  You will be billed for these sessions as well if that is the route that must be taken.

I will not be paying for any Orthodontics for D as this is something you are responsible for.  If you have a preference for a Dental provider to keep your costs down I will be more than happy to discuss that with you.  He needs braces and you are responsible for payment of them.

Again I ask – Do you have a contact name and number for your attorney as you seemed to indicate you would get one to the magistrate.  Additionally, will this attorney be handling all of your matters including those outside the scope of family law?

———————————–

I stopped corresponding with him. There is no “access list”. It feels like he wants me to make the appointments for them.
DHHS won’t give him any of their information about me or the kids as we are the insured, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t check eligibility with the online site, or with the prerecorded phone service, as he is the other parent. He can also call and make them an appointment, and present their insurance cards. Anyone really, could do this. My husband could do this. My mother could do this.
Seriously. Is this how he is? Unable to do the very basic things in order to take care of a child? Like make an appointment and accessing insurance? Or is he just being a jerk? Also, when did he get his degree in orthodontics? D doesn’t NEED braces. Its headgear and an appliance that he could use. I talked with an orthodontist. He also said its painful, uncomfortable and would likely interfere with D’s sleeping. Oh, and its also 1200.00. Currently, with our insurance, the closest orthodontist is an hour away. If he’d like to pursue this, he can certainly do so. 

What a dick. 

The X and the Kids

Things have been pretty quiet lately. Its been cold. With the wind chill, its been -15 to -30 most days and nights for the last week. We ran out of oil on Saturday night, but our delivery was scheduled for Tuesday. We went to walmart and got heaters for the kids rooms. We watched football on Sunday in the living room, everyone together. Husband brought our giant tv down stairs for the kids to play xbox and watch tv on. It was a really nice day. Oil was delivered Tuesday, we all made due and survived. 
Besides that A has mid-terms this week, and has done well on them so far…I suspect its because he’s actually been STUDYING! Imagine that! 

Yesterday after his morning midterms he asked me to pick him up and take him home early. Yeah, why not? When he got in the car he told me he’d gotten a 92 on his French midterm. This kid hates french. Hates the teacher. Does NONE of the work. But, he did study for 3 hours over the weekend. I guess it paid off! I was SO proud of him! His team also won their PE volleyball championship. In PE he is a bit of an over achiever. 

On the way home he asked me if I would pick him up after his first class the next day, as he only had one midterm, and it was first thing in the morning. I said “No way. This is your one free pass for the week.” 
He said “I’ll see if Dad wants to come get me.”
I said “And then do what with you?” 
“Take me to his house”
“Oh  right, then he could bring you back on Sunday. That’s a good idea.” 
“Right, or ride a bus back.”
“Well, maybe I could need to do something in Waterville on Sunday, I could maybe pick you up.”
“He was pretty adamant that I needed to ride the bus.”

So, here is the conversation that unfolded last night:

A

What are you doing tomorrow

Dad

same ol same ol why?

A

Just wonderin

Dad

whats up?

A

Any way you would be able to pick me up tomorrow after first block?

Dad

what for?

A

I only have one midterm and its 1st block

Dad

haha

A

And to come back with you until Sunday

Dad

thought you had to stay the whole day?

A

Threres no open campus and there’s classes but they’re not aloud to assign homework this whole week

Dad

hmm, bus?

down here that is

A

I have no way to get to one

Dad

and how come I never heard from Dom ?

buy a ticket – heck if you get one way I will drive back

Hello?

A

I thought you were going to call D, and what if I took the bus back and you just did the ride up there

Dad

I need to study tomorrow… falling behind as it is

A

Alright

Dad

I have 2-3 lectures to get through tomorrow

bout 3 hours each

A

Ok

Dad

just buy a ticket

I will pick you up in town

and bring you back

A

I don’t have a way to the bus station

Dad

wtf just walk the half mile

geez

when I was your age…

A

Um from The high school all the way to downtown bangor is more then a half mile

Dad

no it isnt bud

A

And its -20 tomorrow

Dad

just buy a ticket

call mary and have her take you then

and if it is too cold take the city bus from hannafords to the bus

bout a buck fitty

A

What are you doin next weekend

Dad

same shit different day, although I will prob need to prep for court too

just get a ticket and take the bus

give me a min

A

I don’t have money either. It’s fine, ill plan for a ride next Friday and it will be a round trip there and back

Dad

just get some from your mother

A

She isn’t getting me shit, she’s going to say if I want a way down there you have to pay

I’ll work something out for next weekend

Dad

call mary

A

Can we just try for next weekend?

Dad

maybe, need to get out of the house?

A

Just havnt seen you in a while

Dad

true story, been swamped bud. 10+ hr days kinda suck!

actually closer to 14

just ask your mother for bus fare

A

She’s not going to give me any

We just had to get oil

She’s going to say she doesn’t have Amy

Dad

doesnt hurt to ask

A

Any

I’ll ask in the am

Dad

seriously, man up

wuss

A

Asking people for money isn’t manning up but alright.

Dad

it is when you are asking a parent

but true story when you turn 18 – I will remember you said that lol

??

A

What?

Dad

you gonna ask?

A

Ya

Dad

well do it before I get off here will ya

A

Ya brb

She said no

That she has to get groceries

Dad

whatever… I say nothing right now 

A

Ok

Dad

there is one leaving from concord – 22.50 @ 3:30 and is only an hour long.

just in case

A

Well if I get money ill letchu know


Now, this was the first part of the conversation – A never asked me for money. I likely would have worked on making an arrangement for him to go down and see his dad, if that’s what he wanted to do. However, I think A is smart enough to understand that this is his Dad’s responsibility, not mine. Also, I actually just now mapquested walking directions from the HS to the Bus Station. Its 1 hour 36 minutes to walk 4.01 miles. It also is, as I mentioned previously, well below 0 outside.
 

The second part of the conversation was about D. Here is some back story. At Christmas time, “Manny”  their grandmother, x’s mom, came over and brought them each a poster and a package of fake tattoos. My kids thanked her at the time, though I wasn’t there when she stopped by, they both said they did say thank you. When they showed me what they got, I said “Oh that was really nice of her!” remembering she hasn’t seen or even SPOKEN to either kid since LAST Christmas. Both kids said “Well, I guess its the thought that counts.” A has ZERO interest in the Hobbit…and fake tattoos? He’s 15, not 6. However, D really likes the whole LOTR, and was happy with the poster, but was pretty confused with the tattoos. A ended up actually giving D his poster and tattoos. I’m sure they both realized that their own grandmother really has NO idea who they are as people. Sigh. 

A few weeks ago D called me at work after school and said he was very lucky, that he had found a 50 dollar bill in the snowbank on our road. I took it from him when we got home and put it away. I never mentioned this to A. Over a week later A asked me if I’d found any money in the washing machine lately. I asked him how much he was missing. He said that the last time he’d seen his dad, he gave him two 50 dollar bills. One for each kid. But, A couldn’t find them. He thought that he’d put them in his pants, but now they were gone. I had D come into the kitchen, and I told him this, I asked him if 50 was all he’d found, explained that it was actually a gift from Dad, etc….D seemed confused, and A said that D could just keep that 50 and A would just be ok that he’d lost his 50. It was no big deal. A said, “If dad asks, make sure you tell him I gave you your money.” D agreed.
Weird. But, there was no argument, so I decided to leave it alone. 3 times since then, I’ve asked D to please at least send his Dad a “thank you” email for the money. He says “yeah….” but never does it. 

Here is the second part of the conversation from last night:

Dad

Tell D I expect a call from him tonight

I know he is still up

A

Um ok

He said “I’m busy”

But he’s on the computer

Dad

You tell him I really want a call from him tonight, like within the next 10 min

It is not ok for him to not even acknowledge that I gave him 50 for xmas

A

He keeps saying no

dad

or thank his manny for whatever she gave

A

and that hes busy

Dad

I will call – you answer and pass the phone to him please and thank you

ughh

A

If you call right now hell answer

Dad

just waiting for my phone to start up

A

Ok well he’s sitting right next to the phone

Dad

so is that a no now?

no answer

not cool

A

You didn’t call

Dad

rang 8 times

A

843-XXXX

Dad

yup

and again

A

No i never heard it ring

Dad

is right now

nothing, someone picked up and hung up

A

The ringtone was off

So i had to turn it on

Try again

Dad

he can call back

I just called twice

A

The phone didn’t even ring

Dad

hit redial

A

He keeps saying no to calling while he sits there on his laptop

Dad

whatever

cant make him want to

just disappointed, but whatever

it is what it is

alright bud, let me know how it turns out and I will talk to you later – sorry I am so busy, but I do keep fb on so message or call whenever and I will get right back to you ok

A

Alright

Dad

and don’t be a punk and skip out on the rest of your study halls – take it like a man… paper airplanes!

 

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