Tired of worrying
Found on X’s Facebook toady, that he is, indeed applying for the bar exam in my state. He asked older son to help a relative with some furniture that he’s buying for “when he gets back”. So, I guess now I need to figure out a way to prepare for his inevitable return and physical presence in my life.
I’m dreading this. I’m in knots about this. I’m ready to cry at the drop of a hat over this. I don’t want him here and around my kids. I don’t want him pretending he gives a shit about his boys when the last 2 1/2 years has clearly shown he doesn’t care. I feel sick. There is nothing I can do. They haven’t even served him, as far as I can tell – so I can’t even file court papers to help keep D from having to go visit him if he doesn’t want to. I can’t start accruing owed child support. I can’t do anything.
I want to warn the kids that their dad has a problem, that he manipulates and bullies, and makes empty promises. I want to tell them that they can have whatever relationship they want to have with him – I’m not going to get in the way of it – but I want them to know that he’s not a mentally healthy person. I have no idea how to tell them that, or if I even should.
I’m just so tired of worrying.
Looking Forward 