I agreed to let him have more time with A. I should have known better than to let it stop at that. I should have made the transportation responsibilities more solid. I was reeling. We arrived at court and my lawyer handed me papers saying that X was going to file to ask for primary residence for A, to make me the ‘visiting parent’ and that he wants child support from me. He’s also filing forms to enforce the order in place for D. He’s trying to take my kids from me. I had no time to process this before we were in the courtroom for our pretrial. As the hearing was happening, she whispered to me “Do you want to agree now to the Sunday to Thursday schedule?” My first reaction was “NO! I want the current Sunday – Wednesday enforced!” but then I thought, perhaps this will make me seem agreeable. Maybe this will benefit me in some way. Giving in a little…I should have known that means he’ll now be taking a mile.
No word about transportation came up as our hearing ended. I should have been paying better attention. All I could think about was how he was trying to take my kids away from me, and wanting child support. And wanting to make me the visiting parent. And wanting to force D to spend time with him when he is clearly so uncomfortable doing so.
Once we were home I told husband that I was really disappointed in myself and in our lawyer. I shouldn’t have agreed to give him any more time. She should have told us when he served her those papers the week before about him trying to get primary residence and trying to enforce the order for D. She should have asked that the current order be enforced. She shouldn’t have asked me to give him more time. She should have realized that orders don’t mean shit to him. She should have realized that with the transportation piece left for us to “work out on our own” wasn’t going to work at all. Not for me anyway.
Wednesday rolled around last week and I talked to A on Facebook. I asked if he was getting off the bus at home on Thursday. He said no, he was going to stay until Friday, then go to a friends house. I ended the conversation. I rarely know what to do with dealing with A anymore about shit like this.
I emailed X, but didn’t bring that up. All I can do is document it on my end. There is no point in arguing. I wanted to try to clear up the transportation issue for Thursdays.
In regards to transportation for A over the summer, I can bring him to you at noon on Sundays if you can bring him home on Thursdays at 9am.
Please let me know if this doesn’t work for you.
Also, it has come to my attention that you plan on taking A to some concerts this summer. I’d like the dates of those so that I can know when you plan on keeping him beyond our agreed upon time, and if any of them will require him to miss any scheduled baseball games.
Finally, if you don’t agree to Dr. ______ for counseling for the boys, please free to contact me with your suggestion as soon as possible.
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He waited 24 hours to respond.
I do not agree with Dr. _______, you are aware that I do not agree to Dr. ______ and I have explained why in past emails as well as before the Magistrate. I am currently exploring other options in the area and am still waiting to hear back from Dr. _____ as well. I will let you know when I find someone suitable.
The concert dates are June 21st and August 7th and as far as I understood you have known about them for some time now and that this is not a recent revelation. I will also mention here that I was unaware of any additional time with me this week until A informed me that he had already discussed it with you. I have no problem with him staying the extra time with me and told him that.
As far as transportation is concerned I think it might be best if the drop off is adjusted to reflect morning work schedules on Thursdays. I am open to suggestions.
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He knows I’ve known about concerts because this is the THRID time I’ve asked for specific dates. He doesn’t like talking to me, yet he always makes things so vague, so I have to ask what the fuck are you talking about? I know he’s leading up to him making ME take time off work, or leaving A with him all day Thursday, so he can get even more time in with him to warp his little brain. That’s not going to happen if I can help it. So, I’ll pretend ‘work schedule’ must refer to HIM and not me.
You contacting me directly regarding A’s plans to stay with you beyond the court ordered time is your job. Not A’s. A is free to fill us in on his wishes, but its still your job to contact me with any changes that need to be made to the schedule.
Thank you for the concert dates. I was aware concerts were happening, but I wasn’t aware which ones he was going to.
I’m not sure what work schedule you’re referring to. If you’d like to drop him off on your way to work in the mornings on Thursdays that is fine with me. I can bring him to you on Sundays at noon, unless you’re working on Sundays and need him at a different time. Please let me know.
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Sunday came and I assumed I’d be taking A to his dad. But no. Silly me. A said, “Dad is on his way to come get me.” Oh really? Well alright then.
Odd how he can’t just admit that he was wrong about not talking to me about keep A longer. Maybe making more excuses will help me understand why he’s not wrong, actually A and I are wrong! Go figure.
Let’s be clear here – I had no idea about the change in schedule because you and him discussed it without my knowledge. In which case it was your responsibility to notify me and not the other way around.
I will pick him up on Sundays, you can drop him off on Thursdays.
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Ah, there it is. He wants me to miss time from work to go pick A up on Thursday mornings while he sits on his fat ass being a lazy deadbeat. Of course. I should have let the debate end about how he should have told me about the schedule change. But, I couldn’t. I know my lawyer sees this. I hope the judge will get to see it too. Let me tell you One More Fucking Time how you are an irresponsible asshole.
While he is with you, it is your job to know what his schedule is. Whether or not he tries to change it with me, doesn’t absolve you from the responsibility you have to hold up your end of the court ordered agreement, which is to have him returned home by 9am on Thursdays, unless you hear otherwise from me. This is why I continue to insist that communication regarding the schedule for the boys be discussed between you and I.
Since you are currently unemployed, I would ask that you bring A home on Thursday mornings so that I don’t have to take time off from my job to do the transportation. I am happy to bring him to you on Sundays in exchange. Or, if you’d rather, you can do both the pick up and drop off. If you are unavailable to bring him home on Thursdays, I can pick him up from you Wednesdays after work instead.
Please let me know what you’d like to do.
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Of course I already know what he’d like to do. He’d like to murder me. He’d like to set me on fire and watch me burn. He’d like to punish me for all my sins, mainly betraying him, and ruining his life with all my lies and deceit.
But since he can’t do those things, being the coward that he is, instead he’ll use my kids as pawns in this bullshit game. He’ll try to make me miss time from my job (probably hoping I’ll get fired) and losing money so that I’ll be suffering financially. Luckily, my job affords me the ability to take whatever time off for whatever I need, whenever I need it. Especially when it has to do with having to deal with his insane bullshit.
I should have known better in court. I should have made this more concrete. I shouldn’t have let my lawyer speak for me. I should have done it myself. Fifteen hundred dollars later, and what have I gotten? More screwed. That’s what.
Looking Forward 