Looking Forward

Making a better life for me and my kids

Archive for the tag “dad”

26 Sep 2013
11 Comments

Frustration

I am beyond frustrated.

I feel like I’ve typed that sentence 100 times here in the last 10 months. But here I am, typing it again. 

It’s interesting to think about what “frustrating” really means these days. Traffic used to be frustrating. Lines at Wal-Mart used to be frustrating. The kids throwing fits and whining to get their way used to be frustrating. Funny how perspective changes. Now a court date that was rescheduled, X calling D and telling him he has to go to court and talk to a judge and a conference with the judge regarding the kids as witnesses not being scheduled until the middle of October is frustrating. 

It’s as though the more anxious I am for this to end, the quicker the Universe is to shut me down. 

I was looking at child support worksheets today. If I make more than X, and if we both provide “substantially equal care” for A, than the person who makes more money is considered the “non-primary caregiver” for the purposes of the form. That would mean If I make more than X,  I will likely have to pay him support for A. I am trying to be hopeful that I am misunderstanding this form. I am trying to apply common sense here and trust that the system isn’t going to take my child away from me, and then make me pay X for the favor. You’d think with D, it would end up being a wash, that I’ll remain the primary caregiver, and that X would then owe me, but the calculations indicate a discrepancy of $66.00 a week. Meaning, I’d owe X $66.00 a week more than he’d owe me – so I still end up paying him. How can that be? I’ve got to be reading these forms wrong. 

Whether I’m wrong or not, I guess it’s not the worst thing to be prepared for something like this. I’ll file it away under “Worst case scenario.” 

I emailed my parents to let them know that court had been postponed. I said I was a mess of stress and anxiety. I just want this to be over.  This is the response I got from my dad: 

Stacey, I truly understand about being a mess of stress and anxiety. It looks as if time will be your only antidote. But in the mean time you should take solace in yourself. You are a remarkable person. You have come so far and accomplished so much, all through a ridiculously difficult period of time. Very few people would of ever come this far. I’m unbelievably proud of you and your accomplishments and I’m a hard man to impress. So find solace in yourself, your abilities and your accomplishments. The only advice I can offer you is, that whenever you are tempted to look how much farther you have to go, stop and turn around and marvel at far you have come.
Love, Dad
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01 Feb 2013
5 Comments

A list

I woke up feeling very overwhelmed this morning. Here is a list of shit going on – I think is see why I might be feeling a bit crazy. 

Driver’s Ed

A has finally decided he wants to take drivers ed. Less than a week’s notice. I now need to come up with 430.00 to pay for this. I also have to work my schedule to be able to pick him up in town at 5:30 three nights a week. 

Scheduling to see Grammy

My mom has asked to see the kids over Feb vacation. She now lives 4 hours away, and will come up and get the kids, have them spend 2-3 days with her, then bring them home. This is awesome. The kids said they would like to go. But now, to figure out how to schedule it. A’s driver’s ed during that week is T, W and Th. 

Seeing dad

A wants to see his dad this weekend. The email he sent me said “pick up A Friday drop off Sunday.” It doesn’t tell me when or where. I’ve emailed him twice asking for where and when. I’ve gotten nothing. I’m sick of him. 

Haircuts

Both kids and husband are in desperate need of haircuts. I don’t have an extra 60.00. I’ll need to find it though. If A sees his dad this weekend, maybe HE can figure it out…lol, yeah right. 

Movie

D wants to go to the movies. He’s been asking since before Christmas to see the new Hobbit movie, or Les Miserables. Money. Time. Ugh! 

Diving

D is back at diving classes every Saturday morning. He likes it when he’s there, but the going to bed at a reasonable time on Fridays and getting up early Saturday makes him such a treat to deal with. Also, he wants to quit band. 

Homework

We continue to have issues with D bringing him homework home. The new plan that came from the 504 meeting was for him to have a plain notebook that each day he’d write the date on the top of the page, and write the homework for each class, then the teacher needs to sign off on it, indicating he has the assignment correct. In the last two weeks, this has happened exactly 2 times. 

Dr appt

D has a dr and dentist appt on Tuesday. I don’t know how and when A will be getting picked up from school that day. We have a gap in time between the two, hoping to get D an early supper before his dentist appt. I have no idea if that will actually work out or not. 

Valentines Day

Husband and I have made a reservation at a fancy schmancy B&B for a late Valentines Day trip. http://www.hartstoneinn.com/
Looks awesome, right? Well, cooking with alcohol is an issue for husband, as he doesn’t consume alcohol. In any capacity. Ever. He’s going to email them and see if there is something they can do. 

Cat

The cat continues to be an asshole. We are thinking about moving…I don’t know what to do about the cat. Do we get him fixed and try to keep him as an indoor cat? Do we give him to the shelter? Do we just leave him for the Ex to deal with? Will he EVER use the litter box again!?

Moving

As I mentioned, we are wanting to move. We have looked at three places so far. None of them are right. The first two just didn’t have enough space. The third was an old building, but it looked like their idea of “fixing it up” was putting shitty industrial carpet over ALL the floors, which is fine, except why the kitchen? Bathroom? Really? And the entire first floor felt like they’d put that carpet over existing carpet….yeah for the kid with asthma, I’m sure this wouldn’t cause ANY issues! 

Court

We have court on the 7th this month. I am dreading this. I’m sick of worrying about it, especially when I know there is nothing to actually be worrying about. Blah. 

Tax refund

The IRS says the have received and accepted my tax return. It has not been processed yet. I don’t know if there was going to be an issues with Dummy trying to claim the kids as well, when in this process it would show up. I’m anxious to just get the refund and move on with our lives…especially since we owe most of that federal refund to our state tax debt. Awesome. 

Resume

The exact same job I do right now is open at a different company. A REAL company. A company with offices and benefits and actual time off. I need to make a resume. Or fix the one I have. And I don’t interview well, at least I don’t feel like I do. I have trouble “selling myself”. I have trouble sugar coating things. 

Birth Certificate

The kid’s birth certificates are the bane of my existence. I don’t know why having an original, raised seal birth certificate is so damn difficult to have, keep, and know where the hell it is. A needs his for driver’s ed. I know I have one somewhere. They both needed one to start school. A needed one for the All Star league for baseball. Any idea where either of them are? No. Not a clue. So, to save myself 15.00 dollars and a trip to city hall, I’ll tear the house apart looking for it this weekend. I was going to do it last night, but the power was out until after 7pm. 

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