Dogs | Looking Forward

Archive for the category “Dogs”

09 Feb 2013

Summer Dog – After court conversation

A little back story here….Husband and I were looking at a rental house. It was huge and awesome and in our price range. Only issue was that they didn’t allow dogs. Summer is my dog and I’ve had her for 8 years now.
My parents, who are retired now, have a dog of their own. In the past they’ve babysat Summer for us, rather than us having to board her. Summer LOVES my mom. We’d discussed that if we had to move, and couldn’t take summer because a rental wouldn’t allow her, where Summer could go. My parents, of course, would love to take Summer. We joked that this could be her retirement home. Of course its not our first option, but I’m relived to know that if it came down to it, she would have a safe, loving home to go to, one where we could still see her.

We talked to the kids about this house, and the fact that they didn’t allow dogs. A voiced his opinion about not wanting Summer to go. We talked at length about it. I pointed out how he was right, how of course it would be sad to not have her around ever day, but how it would be a very good environment for her, all the attention and love, etc. A was still not impressed, but I knew he understood. After court last week, here is the conversation between X and A.

7:53p

Dad

love ya bud

wish you were here so we could hang…

7:54pm

Guessing court didn’t go the way you had hoped

7:54pm

Dad

no it went fine

just sucks I have to keep doing this

7:55pm

Well that’s good, and I bet. We probably won’t have school tomorrow which means no drivers ed, which means we have to make up a day

7:55pm

Dad

bummer

7:56pm

I’ve got my eye on a car

7:56pm

Dad

I was thinking it would have been cool if you came down, but it was to last minute. Oh really

lol

7:56pm

Yeah it was a little to late and yeah, I’d have to have some help

But I think i have a chance

It’s not a bad car

7:57pm

Dad

really?

7:57pm

Yeah Haha

7:57pm

Dad

what is it?

7:59pm

I’ll send you the link

7:59pm

Dad

8:00pm

If it would copy this would be easier

http://www.downeastdeals.com/vehicledetails.aspx?VID=167360131

8:02pm

Dad

and how do you plan to pay for this?

8:03pm

I’m not sure yet

Maybe Dave would help, and Grammy.

8:03pm

Dad

maybe

8:03pm

But Grammy is most likely going to take summer when we move if we move to the house

8:04pm

Dad

what? and so they have a house already huh

8:04pm

They got approved for it

8:04pm

Dad

still in Brewer area?

8:05pm

Yeah right next to orrington

8:05pm

Dad

good

well there you go. You do have lots of new family with money – hit them up for it

8:06pm

They’re helping pay for the house

8:06pm

Dad

and I am not surprised about summer – she never wanted that dog after week two

oh no doubt

8:06pm

Even though I said I want them they still said it’d be better for summer lol. Such bull shit

8:07pm

Dad

yeah, says a lot about a person or people… what ever. when you moving?

8:07pm

No idea

8:08pm

Dad

8:08pm

They got approved they never said it was final

8:09pm

Dad

thats what approved means bud

8:09pm

Well idfk then

8:09pm

Dad

lol, no need to get testy!

8:10pm

Lol

8:12pm

Dad

just remember bud – the feeling is much better when you earn things for yourself… never end up needing to rely on others to foot your bill. Work hard for it and you will have all you want and people will respect you for it

8:12pm

I was planing to pay them back when I got a job

But I need a car to get and forth from the job

8:13pm

Dad

here is a little advice. when you borrow from people, they own you and you are in their pocket… that is a life lesson

8:14pm

Yes I know.

8:14pm

Dad

and what job do you have?

8:14pm

I don’t have one…

8:14pm

Dad

lol

you will

8:14pm

Well yes

8:16pm

Dad

I hope you know that I went through college – twice, bought my own cars and my own house – again it is a matter of personal integrity and independence on yourself. Knowing that you can accomplish things on your own is such a dying character trait these days../.

8:16pm

8:18pm

Dad

It may sound harsh, but I want you to go through some of those struggles because it makes you a better man, and really does make you appreciate what you can accomplish. From those struggles you gain confidence in yourself and your ability to overcome adversity… because in the end it is about you

8:19pm

Yeah

8:20pm

Dad

fucking pissed about summer though, never would have left her behind if I thought you guys wouldn’t have her

8:20pm

Same

8:22pm

Dad

might as well just shoot her and get it over with… instead of letting her go off and die with some one else just because she is getting old

8:22pm

Wtf

8:22pm

Dad

SO FING ANGRY RIGHT NOW

8:22pm

You’re being stupid.

She’s going to Grammy not a new person

8:25pm

Dad

for her that will be a new person… pets are not novelties to be tossed away when you no longer want them. They are living creatures that show nothing but loyalty and love. She has made you laugh, snuggled with you when you were upset, waited for you at the door when you got home… It says a lot about a person

8:26pm

Dogs arent aloud in the house. But I’m as mad as you. Doesn’t mean we should shoot the dog

8:26pm

Dad

If she didn’t want the friggin dog I would have taken her before I got Mia… That is what pisses me off, because she knew that

8:27pm

Take her now

8:28pm

Dad

I can only have one dog here

had to negotiate for it

8:28pm

Gotcha

8:29pm

Dad

there might be a pretty mean post on the way… deep breath

8:29pm

Lol

8:29pm

Dad

lol

when did she say this?

8:30pm

Yesterday in the car

8:30pm

Dad

and neither one of you said no?

8:30pm

I did?

8:31pm

Dad

or is it not worth the argument?
gotcha

just sad

8:31pm

I said no. Do you know how to fucking read.

8:31pm

Dad

I read that and said gotcha, punk

8:32pm

You said Gotcha after you said not worth the argument. You always answer your own questions

8:32pm

Dad

lol, no

8:33pm

yes

8:33pm

Dad

just very disappointed. well nothing new there right lol

its sorta like, oh hey I am tired of having one of you boys around… go live with grammy

summer is family

alright I am done with this for now. I do appreciate the heads up though. Thank you.

8:35pm

Yea

8:35pm

Dad

so sorry bud.

8:36pm

It’s Whateva. Out of my hands

8:36pm

Dad

I hear ya

8:43pm

Dad

well there, I have said my piece. It will go in one ear and out the other though… useless

8:43pm

Most likely

8:43pm

Dad

yup

Never feel like you can’t stand up and say what you feel and believe in the face of opposition. Thats what I say!

8:45pm

Already have, it just pissed me off

8:45pm

Dad

yup

8:45pm

Yup

He also made sure to give me a piece of his mind. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’d been drinking. This is the email I got:

‘So now your just tossing out summer, like she is nothing, like she hasn’t been a member of the boys family for almost their whole lives. Abhorrent beyond belief, absolutely disgraceful and indicative. You are certainly continuing to set an outstanding example for those kids – and don’t kid yourself, they continue to see what you do and will remember forever. ‘

Funny thing about that email, it came as a reply to one of the three emails I sent him last weekend asking when and where he’d be dropping A off…that he never replied to.

Posted in abuse, co-parenting, crazy making, Divorce, Dogs, kids, long distance parenting, parenting, Uncategorized and tagged bullying, crazy, dogs, ex, kids, narcissist, over reacting, rental

07 Jan 2013

1 Comment

And the bullshit continues…

So, on Thursday night around 8pm, A facebook messaged me and asked if Dad had emailed me yet. I said, no, but if he did, I’d let A know. A said he wanted to go see dad this weekend.

When I looked at A’s other FB messages, this was between him and dad:
Thursday

Dad
5:43pm
You still coming?

A
5:49pm
Yes

Dad
5:58pm
And mike? I am thinking about 6:30ish.

A
5:59pm
No mike I don’t think, and either 210 or Luke 9 would be better

Dad
6:02pm
Can’t do either – will be studying until 5 and don’t want to be out that late bud. 6:30 or 7 is the best I can do. Why no Mike?

A
6:03pm
Idek, but yeah, the later the better, ill be at the school
Email mom

A
6:53pm
Remember to email her

Dad
7:14pm
Just puked in my mouth a bit… tell me you mentioned going with me already

A
7:16pm
No, she bitched at me last time, as long as you email her she will be fine
I just asked her and she said she wants an email from you

So, see that there? Thursday night from 5:45pm until 7:15pm A told Dad to make sure he emailed me 3 times.
Then, he asked Dad again at 7:15am on Friday “did you email mom?”

From: X
To: Me
Sent: Friday, January 4, 2013 7:44 AM
Subject: A
Friday at 6:30/7 until Sunday at 5

My response:

X,
It is fine with me if you have time with A this weekend. You can pick him up at the basketball game, as that is where he’ll be this evening. You’ll drop him off at 5pm on Sunday, at the end of the road?
I understand you don’t like me, but frankly, that is neither here nor there.
Its not good for A to be waiting outside in the cold for me to come get him, simply because you “don’t like me.”
I will be waiting at the end of the road for him to be dropped off at 5pm on Sunday
Also, in the future, I would appreciate more than 10 hours of notice that you’d like to spend time with the kids. It makes planning more difficult than it needs to be.
Thanks,
Stacey

As usual, I get no response from him about this.

Sunday at 3:43pm A calls me and says he wants to go out to dinner with dad and watch the football game at a local restaurant. I said “I just need an email from your dad about when he’ll be bringing you home.”

A texted me right after and said “nevermind, his email has a virus so he can’t. I’ll be home at 5”
I replied “He could call, or text me or use his school address.”
A answered “His school address got cancelled when he graduated.”

At 5pm I went to the bottom of our road to wait for A to be dropped off. At 5:30 I texted A and asked “where are you?”
His answer was “Ground round. Dad texted you.”
I answered “Ive been checking my messages since I talked to you last and I got nothing.”
A said “He texted you before we left waterville. I saw him do it. he asked me for your number.”

I didn’t reply to A. Instead I called Dad. No answer. I texted Dad. “I didn’t receive anything from you. When are you bringing A home?” I went home. I emailed Dad.

X,
I didn’t hear from you this evening, when I called you did not answer and when I texted you I got no response.
I need to know what time you will be bringing A home tonight.
Thanks,
Stacey

35 minutes later I get a text from him. “8”

Right, so his text messaging capabilities are working just fine I see. Which tells me, he never sent the first message. He wanted me to go wait for A at the end of the road. He wanted to have the ability to inconvenience me, despite all my efforts to the contrary.

At 7:17pm A texted me and said they were leaving the restaurant. At 7:38 he called me and said he was waiting at the end of the road for me. I went down to get him. We drove home talking about football, and RG3. We got home and I made him a bowl of peach cobbler with extra whipped cream. He gave me is bbq chicken tender leftovers. He showed me the clothes dad had gotten him, he rolled his eyes at the batman shirt, and we laughed a little. He said “right because I guess I’m into batman?” He talked about how dad had no internet or cable at his house. How the puppy poops on the floor and how dad isn’t happy its going to be a small dog.

I went to bed feeling ok. I need to draw a line of some sort with X, but with court looming, I want THEM to do it for me. I’m not entirely sure how to proceed here.