Graduation
Its just a few days away…Graduation.
A has been living with his father for the last few months. I wouldn’t let him have a hamster.
Honestly, I’m really ok with that. He’s working a lot of hours, finishing up high school, he still shows up for dinner if we invite him and still picks his brother up for a ride to school most mornings. He’s become the manager at the place he works now. He just got a raise. They’ve promised him 40 hours a week as soon as he graduates. These people are people A have known for years. They are another baseball family. Its been a good ‘in’ for him.
asshat and gf have decided to take a trip to Texas to visit gf’s sister. According to A, gf’s mother is “rich” and is paying for asshat and A’s ticket to go along. The issue is that A was selected to play in Shiner’s charity football game, and the training camp starts on a Sunday, and A wont be back from Texas until Monday. His plan is to drive back from “whatever airport we’re using” and go directly to the training camp. Nice how his father really takes A’s commitments so seriously, isn’t it?
A, of course, thinks this will be totally fine to show up a day and a half late to a week long training camp. Sure. Why not? My dad seems to think that its not that important, so why should I?
Its out of my hands – A will be 18 by the time this trip comes, so I don’t expect any email about any part of it to let me know.
Meanwhile, no one has heard anything from asshat regarding D wanting to visit. So, I guess that makes it all pretty clear. D hasn’t asked again, so does this mean we spend the next three years with our fingers crossed that their paths won’t cross? D won’t be attending A’s graduation. For his birthday present, D will be taking the lifeguard certification class the next two weekends at the Y. I’m not going to lie, this was a big relief. I can’t imagine how it would play out with D seeing his dad and the gf at graduation. I don’t think gf knows that D tried to get together with his dad. Would D want to say hello? Would asshat just ignore him? Would asshat act like he didn’t reject his own son being part of his life? I want to protect him from his father who just keeps making him feel like a worthless piece of shit and my only solution is to keep them apart…at least until he’s 18. Writing it out like that, it doesn’t seem particularly rational. But I guess I don’t know what else to do.
For me, I’m not looking forward to seeing asshat’s big fat face and his dumb, over dressed gf at MY SON’S graduation…but I can’t do much about it. He seems to think he has an equal stake in the person our child has become – when the reality is, I did all the work. I’m the one who wrote a blank check for the lost sociology book this morning. I’m the one who threw him a graduation party last weekend. I’m the one who financed a car for him. I’m the address A writes on every thing. I’m the parent to contact for anything. I’m the one who would call the school for the missing back packs, the lost cell phones, the picking up after detentions. I’m the one proof reading his business plan for the food truck he wants to start. I’m the one he tells ALL about it, every time I see him. But sure, you should totally come to graduation for a child you contributed nothing but bitterness and bullshit to. It is a big audience for you to parade around in front of, acting like you belong there.
But. In the end, A is very excited about graduation. People are giving him money. He has marching practice this week. They get their caps and gowns today. He bought new dress shoes (with my money). He’s the reason husband and I will go and smile, clap and cry at the video montage of the baby pictures and senior pictures. I’ll get some pictures of him marching in, getting his diploma, and we’ll make our escape once it’s over.
Who knows, maybe asshat won’t even show up after all!
Looking Forward 